by E. K. Blair
I rush across the room to her side, and when she finally stops to catch her breath, she sees me.
“We’re leaving. Now,” I demand as I take in her tear-stained face.
“Excuse me, but this is a private matter,” I hear her mother say, but I don’t take my eyes off of Candace as she continues to cry, staring at me in shock. I’m pissed, and she sees it.
Holding out my hand for her, her mother doesn’t stop when she threatens, “Candace, if you walk out, it’s over. Don’t come back. We refuse to sit back and watch you ruin your life.”
When her mother says this, anger roils inside of me, and I want to slap the fuck out of her lily-white ass for threatening her own daughter.
“Daddy?” Candace says as she looks to her father, pleading, and it hurts to hear her so desperate.
“We’re done letting you play games, bunny. No more.”
She stands there, tears falling from her eyes while she looks at her parents. All I want to do is take her away. Comfort her and get her out of here. And when she slides her hand in mine, that’s exactly what I do. I grip her tightly and get her out of this house as fast as I can. I snatch up our coats and walk her out to my car.
When I open the door for her, she reaches out to grip the side of the seat, and I know she’s about to break, so I grab her and pull her into me. Clutching my arms around her, I hear it. Painful sobs start to break through, and she clings to me, crying.
The tension in my body is heady with the urge to put her in the car and go inside to knock the shit out of her parents. I’m fueled by disgust for these people. That they would lash those words at Candace, leaving her broken in their driveway, falling apart in my arms. But at least they’re my arms that are attempting to comfort her, because even though she doesn’t know it, I don’t think anyone could give her what I want to give her. I’d give her the fuckin’ world if I could.
After a while, her body begins to shiver with chills as she starts to quiet down. She keeps her head tucked against me, and I feel her fingertips pressed into my back. Her breathing is staggered, and when she pulls back, she keeps her head down, not looking at me—embarrassed. I lean down and kiss the top of her head before helping her up into the car.
The drive back is somber. I look over to her as she stares out the window. She’s sad, and my need to comfort her is overwhelming. She must sense me watching her when she turns her head to me. Her chin quivers, and she shrugs her shoulders, defeated, as fresh tears fall down her cheeks. I reach over and take her hand, pulling it onto my lap. I keep it there all the way back to her house.
Once we’re inside, I go to the kitchen to get her a glass of wine, figuring she could use one. As I walk into the living room, she’s curled on the couch with her heels kicked off on the floor. I hand her the glass and she swallows it fast before handing it back to me. Setting it on the end table, I sit down, leaning into the corner of the couch and pull her between my legs and on top of me. She lies there and doesn’t move as I thread my fingers through her soft, thick hair.
“You okay?” I ask.
She doesn’t answer, she just shakes her head and after a second begins crying again, wetting my shirt as she nuzzles into my chest. I strengthen my arms around her and let her cry without saying anything.
The hurt coming out of her is hard to listen to, but I do, and it breaks me. Breaks me in a way that even though I hate it, I find myself savoring it. The connection. Her need for me right now and the contentment I find in being the one to give it to her.
Time passes and she’s fallen asleep on me. I can feel her steady breaths against me, and I’d hold on to her all night, just like this, if I knew she’d be okay with it. I want to be selfish and take it, but I know she wouldn’t be comfortable with it. So as much as I don’t want to feel her move off of me, I comb her hair with my fingers, and whisper, “Candace.”
“Hmm,” she softly hums as she stirs awake.
“It’s getting late. You should go sleep in your bed.”
Placing her hands on my chest, she pushes herself up, and I notice her bloodshot eyes.
“Are you gonna be okay if I leave?” I ask, hoping she’ll want me to stay, but knowing that it’s just a hope.
She nods her head and sits up. I move to stand and turn to take her hand, pulling her off of the couch and into a hug. She bands her arms around me, and I tell her, “We can stay here tomorrow. We don’t have to go to my mom’s.”
Leaning her head back to look up at me, she says, “It’s okay.”
“Candace . . .”
“I could use the distraction. I’ll be okay,” she tries assuring me.
“Call me when you wake up. You might feel differently in the morning.”
She walks me to the door and before I leave, she stops me, saying, “Ryan . . .” I look back at her, and she takes a pause before continuing, “I’m sorry . . . tonight just . . .”
“Don’t worry about it. Honestly.”
“Thanks,” she says softly before I walk out.
Candace called me when she woke up this morning, assuring me that she still wanted to go to Oregon. I offered to stay here with her, but she told me that she really did want the distraction, so I didn’t question her any more about it.
I finish packing my bag, and I think about how things with the two of us have shifted in the past couple of weeks. I’m falling for this girl hard, and I know I’m not gonna be able to keep this from her for very much longer, but I’m nervous that I might ruin what we have. Honestly, even though it isn’t enough for me, I’ll take it if this is all she wants to give.
I carry my bag downstairs, and decide to call Jase. I don’t know if Candace has spoken with him this morning, but I call him anyway to let him know what happened last night.
“Hey, Ryan.”
“Jase, hey. You have a minute?” I ask as I start making myself a coffee for the road.
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“Have you talked to Candace this morning?”
“No, why? Did something happen with her parents?” he asks, sounding worried.
“It wasn’t good, man.”
“Tell me.”
“Her parents are a piece of work. Pretentious dicks. I don’t know the whole argument ‘cause I was in the other room, but there was a lot of yelling, and when I went in there to get her, her parents threatened to cut her off. Told her they were done with her—threw her out.”
“Shit,” he sighs out. “How is she?”
“She didn’t talk, but I didn’t ask either. She was just really upset. I stayed with her for a while last night, but I wasn’t sure if she had called you, so I wanted to let you know,” I tell him as I screw the lid on to my travel mug and walk over to sit down on the couch.
“Thanks. I’ll try giving her a call. I hate that she’s stuck there.”
“She’s not. I’m about to go pick her up.”
“Where are you guys going?” he asks, and I’m surprised that he doesn’t already know.
“Has she not told you?”
“Told me what?” he questions.
“She’s coming home with me to my mom’s for a few days.”
“What?” Yeah, he had no clue by the shock in his tone. “I can’t believe she didn’t say anything to me.”
“Sorry. I figured you knew.”
“No.”
All of a sudden, I feel the need to talk to him about Candace. Knowing that the two of them are like family and that he’s really protective of her, I need to know if I should be pursuing her. As awkward as this is, I go ahead and lay it out there.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Yeah . . .?” he responds.
“Look, I know the two of you are really close, so I feel like I should let you know that . . .” I pause briefly before admitting, “I really like her.”
“I figured as much,” he lets out with a chuckle under his breath. “Have you told her?”
I’m relieved that he’s being so relaxed ab
out what I just said.
“No. I don’t know where her head is at. I’m not sure if she’d even be interested in anything.”
“I think she is,” he says, giving me hope, and then adds, “Look, I get that she’s closed off, but she wouldn’t be hanging out with you like she has been if she didn’t trust you.”
“She’s the hardest person I’ve ever had to read,” I admit with a laugh.
“I probably shouldn’t say this, but you need to know that she’s been going through a lot this year. It’s been rough, and I’m just gonna leave it at that. So if you’re anything less than serious about her, then don’t go there.”
He tells me this, and I try not to wonder too much about what’s going on with her, though I’m beginning to think that there could be a lot more to her parents than what I’ve seen.
“I hear you,” I tell him.
“I’m serious. She isn’t like most girls. She’s really innocent, so don’t push her,” he warns.
“It’s not like that with her.”
“I don’t mean to sound like an ass or anything.”
“Jase, man. It’s fine. I get it,” I tell him, and a part of me is glad that he’s being this way about her, that she has someone like him there for her.
“Mark and I are hanging out with his family, so I’ve gotta run. I’ll try giving her a call though.”
“Okay. Thanks, man. I’ll talk to you later.”
Hearing him assure me that I’m not wasting my time soothes some of the anxiety I’ve been having about Candace. This girl has woven herself into my life, and for a change, I want to keep her there.
Candace was a little antsy when I picked her up this morning. We’re running later than what I told my mom because I didn’t want to rush her. She didn’t get much sleep last night, so she just wasn’t herself, worrying about how she looked and wondering if my family would think she was rude since she tends to be quiet. I’ve never seen her so uptight, so I let her move at her own pace.
She fell asleep about halfway into the drive, and as I look over at her, she’s still sound asleep, sitting there in her modest black dress. She looks beautiful as she sleeps, but it bothers me to think that at this moment, she’s probably happier in her dreams than she is when she’s awake.
When we start getting closer to the coast, I decide to go ahead and wake her up. Trying not to startle her, I run my knuckles up and down her arm until I see her eyes start to blink open.
“How long have I been asleep?” she murmurs.
“A couple of hours.”
“Really?”
I smile over at her. “Really.”
She adjusts the seat and sits up to look out the window. The canopy of trees that hide the sky on the winding road through the mountains makes it dark.
“How much longer do we have to go?” she asks.
“About twenty minutes. Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah. I was really tired.”
“Music?” I ask and when she agrees, I tell her, “You pick.”
She takes my cell phone since she likes all my music and syncs it up with the stereo, selecting ‘Ride’ by Lana Del Rey. She sets my phone down and sits back as the music fills the car, and I enjoy the doleful, limpid melody of the song.
“You’re quiet over there,” I say after a while.
“Just a little nervous,” she tells me as she continues to watch the mist collecting on the window.
I give her knee a squeeze and say, “Don’t be.”
Seeing the unconvincing grin on her face, I decide to just let her be for the rest of the drive. When we arrive, I park the car and walk around to open her door. She’s not quick to get out, so I take her hands to help her down, encouraging, “Don’t be so nervous. Just relax.”
I laugh under my breath as I watch her fidgeting with the skirt of her dress, smoothing it down.
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“Because I’ve never seen you so wound up before.”
I take her hand and start walking her to the front door, but when she tugs back and stops, I turn to hear her say, “Ryan . . . I don’t do well around a lot of people.”
I try to coax her with my words, telling her, “My family will love you, but if you feel that uncomfortable, we can go. Just say the word.”
“No, I want to meet them, I’m just . . .”
“Hey, I’m right here. No worries, okay?”
“Okay.”
Holding her hand, I lead her inside as two of my nephews run through the entryway, chasing each other. I laugh and walk her back to the kitchen.
“Finally, you made it,” my mom says excitedly and rushes over to hug me, but I keep my grip on Candace.
“Mom, this is Candace,” I introduce, and my mom pulls her in for a hug as well.
“I’m so glad to finally meet you, dear,” my mom tells her, and she’s not even trying to hide that she’s thrilled with the fact that I brought a girl home and she isn’t some barfly.
My Aunt Carol brings me in for a hug, excited to see me, and before I know it, the kids all start flooding into the kitchen, screaming my name. I spot Sophie, one of my nieces, and pick her up as Tori and my other cousins’ husbands come in to say hi. Tori and my other cousin, Jenna, give me curious looks, and I try to ignore them, knowing they are just waiting to start digging into my business about Candace. I told my mom to discreetly tell my cousins to keep a tight lip so they don’t embarrass Candace, but I know Jenna and Katie, and those chicks are nosey.
When Sophie starts poking her finger in my ear, I catch Bailey, toddling over to me. Bending down, I scoop her up in my other arm, ravishing her neck with playful kisses as she squeals and giggles.
“You weren’t kidding,” Tori whispers to me as my cousin, Jenna, comes over to take Sophie out of my arms.
“What?” I question, trying to keep my voice under my breath.
She laughs, “She’s way out of your league.”
“Thanks,” I say with mockery.
“You know I’m teasing. She’s just . . . polished.”
“Tell the girls not to interrogate her.”
“Donna already said something, but you know how Katie is.”
“Where is she by the way?” I ask.
“Upstairs with Maddie. She had an upset stomach earlier.”
“My room?”
“Yeah.”
“Why is my room always the hot spot for everyone’s spawn when they get sick?” I joke and then turn to look at Candace, but she’s no longer in the kitchen, and I quickly realize, that in the madness of saying hi, I left her alone.
“Mom, where’s Candace?” I ask.
‘Ladies’ room,’ she mouths to me, and I walk down the hall to wait for her, feeling bad, and wondering if all that was too much for her. Who am I kidding? Of course it was. My family is big and loud, and Candace doesn’t even like being in a crowded coffee shop.
When she doesn’t come out after a few minutes, I gently knock on the door.
“Everything okay?” I ask as she opens the door. “When I looked up you were gone.”
“Yeah, just needed a moment to myself.”
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. I’m just not used to . . .”
“I know.” I see that she’s a bit rattled, so I step closer to her and run my hands down her arms. “Do you need a few more minutes?”
“No, I’m fine.”
When we walk back into the kitchen, the kids are watching their movie, and the chaos has dissipated. I pour her a glass of wine, and hand it to her, whispering, “Come on,” in her ear. I lead her through the house, showing her around as I take her to one of the back rooms that looks out over the water.
We’re alone, and it’s quiet as we stand in front of the large picture window.
“Better?” I ask, and she smiles as she looks at me.
“I guess I didn’t realize how big your family actually is. I mean, you’ve told me, but . . .”
�
��It can be a lot,” I tell her. Having twenty of us here can be overwhelming. It’s more the women and kids. The guys are always laying low, trying to dodge the madness.
“This is a great view,” she says. “Have you always lived here?”
“Yeah.”
“Small town.”
“You have no idea,” I say with a hint of humor. “I used to spend most of my time in Seaside or Astoria. That’s where Tori’s from.”
“Is there even a school here?” she asks with a huge smile, finding it funny. Not a whole lot of people are permanent residents of this area. It’s mostly vacation rentals, but we’re one of the few that actually call it home.
“No,” I tell her. “The schools are in Seaside, but I went to private school.”
“Me too.”
We chat for a few more minutes, and when she seems more at ease, we head back. Tori and Jenna are sitting in the dining room when we pass through.
“Candace, come join us,” Tori offers, and when Candace hesitates, I tell her it’s fine, letting her know that I’ll be in the other room with my mom. I know Tori is curious about her, and I also trust her enough to know Candace will be fine.
I find my mom in the kitchen, working on dinner. It’s just the two of us, and she stops what she’s doing as we lean against the counter and talk.
“How did this morning go with the kids?” I ask, a little bummed that I wasn’t here.
“Anarchic,” she laughs.
“I bet.”
“They missed you.”
“I have all their presents outside,” I tell her. “We can open them later.”
She takes a sip from her glass of water, and then asks, “Where’s Candace?”
“Dining room with Tor and Jenna.”
She nods her head with a smile, and I know she’s biting her tongue, so I tell her, “Just say it.”
“What?”
“Whatever it is that has you looking at me like that, Mom.”