The Wanderer

by Jan Irving

  Lancelot lifted his head, ears twitching, catching Gabriels attention. He patted his horse, picking up on the animals uneasiness. It struck him that hed spent years alone with Lance. Maybe it wasnt just Jude who lived a lonely life, though Gabriel had no choice.

  He removed his spurs and headed up the canyon, making his footfalls as soft as possible on the cracked ground.

  * * *

  On a rise with a clear view of the cabin where he and Jude were staying, he found a bit of red shirt fabric caught in a pine tree.

  So hed been right; someone was watching them.

  Gabriel was careful not to leave any visible tracks as he inched back down the path.

  Somehow he had to make sure Mouse and Jude would take precautions without worrying them. His jaw bunched as he climbed back into Lancelots saddle. Hed retrieve the food hed gathered for their bear while keeping a sharp lookout.

  If anyone wanted to hurt Jude and Mouse, theyd have to come through him first.

  * * *

  “You were awhile,” Jude said as Gabriel removed Lancelots saddle and blanket and then slapped the horse, setting him free in the ring hed repaired over the past week with Mouses enthusiastic participation. Gabriel had the feeling Mouse would be happy if they could remain out here forever, except he missed his friends Ming and Shen Lei.

  Gabriel sighed, thinking he felt the same way. He liked being here with Jude. Although his young doctor was still painfully shy, his gaze was often on Gabriel, and Gabriel could feel his growing need.

  He wanted more of what Gabriel had given him.

  “Had to range far enough to find a good fallen log for your bear.” Gabriel

  handed it to Jude and smiled at the doctors slight grimace. There were all kinds of things crawling in it, but the bear would delight in tearing it apart, getting to those treats.

  “Thanks. Along with the fish you caught yesterday, she should be set for the day.”

  “Shes gaining weight. Doesnt seem inclined to leave her pen,” Gabriel said, following Jude.

  Jude opened the door, and Gabriel went over to the basin and rinsed his hands as Jude put the log and other gifts into the enclosure theyd made.

  “Other than she wants to scratch off the sutures I put in her back, shes content. Do you think shell want to stay with us?” A faint frown appeared between Judes pale brows.

  Gabriel shook his head. “We cant offer real freedom, and once she gets a taste of that, I think shell like it. Bears are solitary creatures. Ill take her up to the mountains late this fall.”

  Jude swallowed, blue eyes fixed on Gabriels face. “You mean…when you leave.”

  Gabriel looked away. “Yes.”

  Jude surprised him then. He came up behind Gabriel so silently that Gabriel almost jumped. His hand went to his hip automatically, and he flushed at the telltale move to his gun. Those footprints hed discovered on the ridge had him jumpy, but it was like hed told Jude once upon a time: someone was going to die. He could feel a confrontation building like thunderheads crowding over the prairie.

  “Youre tense.” Jude studied him. “Somethings wrong.”

  “Yes.”

  “What is it?”

  “I miss you, Doc,” Gabriel admitted very simply. He waited, unsure he could keep waiting when it felt more and more like Jude wore half his skin or their bones were melding or some goddamned thing hed never experienced.

  “Oh, Gabriel.” Jude cupped his cheek. “My fallen angel.”

  Gabriel raised a brow, trying to ride herd on the tender feeling that wanted to open and flower in his chest. “I was never.”

  “I think you were.” Judes eyes were open, honest. “Youd give your life for me, for Mouse. Do you think I dont know that?”

  “Im no hero, Doc.”

  “No…” Jude brushed his lips against Gabriels. “Youre a man.”

  That was it! He was supposed to stand there like Galatea and remain marble? He grabbed Jude close, crushing his lips, knowing he was bruising, taking…but Jude didnt refuse him. One slender leg wrapped around Gabriels.

  “Oh, shit!” Gabriel cursed, pulling away. His chest was rising and falling rapidly.

  “What is it?”

  “You didnt hear that sound, Doc?” Gabriel asked, searching Judes eyes while his lips quirked. “That was the sound of my will snapping.”

  “Oh!” Jude gasped as Gabriel suddenly swung the slender man over one muscled shoulder. But Jude didnt fight him, didnt refuse. Instead he gripped Gabriel like some eager creature, his body swaying as Gabriel walked out of the lean-to.

  He passed Mouse, who was brushing the mule. “Watch the bear tonight, Mouse?” His voice was breathless, and he found himself blushing. Good thing the boy couldnt see it.

  Mouse paused, an expression running over his face that Gabriel couldnt read. He nodded.

  * * *

  In the cabin, he lowered Jude to his feet, cupping his cheek.

  “Yes,” Jude said.

  “Youre sure this time. You didnt enjoy—”

  “Well, it was like being gored by my own minotaur.”

  “You see me as half man, half bull?”

  Jude timidly touched Gabriel where he was huge and throbbing. He closed his

  eyes and gritted his teeth. “You have heroic dimensions.”

  Gabriel grinned.

  “And dimples.” Jude swallowed. “No wonder I…”

  “Jude. Me too, Doc,” Gabriel whispered. “I want you to know that if things

  were different…” He cleared his throat, trying to say this. “If I were a different man—”

  Jude covered his lips. “I know who you are.”

  “I dont frighten you?”

  “Yes,” Jude admitted. “No, dont look like that. Its not that youd ever hurt me, its…its what youre capable of.”

  Gabriel knew his face was stony, but Jude didnt back down. He surprised Gabriel by kneeling at his feet. “Jude?”

  Jude pressed his lips against Gabriels hip where his guns hung low. Where the scar stretched silvery across his skin.

  Gabriel made some kind of sound.

  Hearing it, Jude kissed him again.

  Sound broke from his body again as Jude kissed him, tugging Gabriels denim free,openmouthed against the brand.

  “I love you, Doc,” Gabriel whispered. “God, I love you, alone of all the men Ive been with…”

  Jude said, “I wish I could take this away.”

  “You just did.”

  Jude came to his feet and kissed him, and Gabriel felt pain bubble in his chest. He buried his face against Judes neck, not wanting him to see…

  “Its all right,” Jude whispered. “Sometimes you have to lance a wound.”

  Gabriel held him, breathing deeply, struggling for control. He felt Judes fingers on his gun belt, freeing it. He pulled away and unbuttoned Gabriels shirt.

  Gabriels gaze fell. He rubbed his eyes against the back of his arm. “Huhhh,” he exhaled.

  Jude rubbed his chest. “Dont hurt,” he whispered. He touched Gabriels fading shiner, earned when they had helped the cub.

  Gabriel crushed him close. “Youre worth a hundred men like me, Doc.”

  “I disagree,” Jude said, sounded annoyed.

  Gabriel laughed. “Of course you do. If I said the sky was blue, youd—”

  Jude adjusted his glasses. “We dont disagree on everything.”

  “No.”

  “Will Mouse be all right?”

  “Ill check on him later,” Gabriel said, pulling Judes suspenders off his arms. They shared breath and then a kiss, sustained, going on until Gabriel shuddered as Jude delicately licked his tongue. “You… Ha. You were going to talk to him about us.”

  Jude shook his head. “I have no idea how to introduce the subject.”

  “Jude…”

  “I thought I could find something in my reading.”

  “Jude, I doubt hed—”

  Jude shrugged, coloring. “I am hopeless. I am frank with my p
atients, but… Gabriel, I cant lose him.”

  “You wont.”

  “I cant. Im sorry if it makes me a coward.”

  “You want to tell him, and you understand the consequences. That makes you a realist.”

  Jude didnt resist as Gabriel dragged down his trousers. He stepped out of them, and his cock, slim and long and elegant like his body, bumped against Gabriels lips so that Gabriel had to take the tip into his mouth, moaning.

  “Oh, my…”

  “You will love what Im going to do to you, Doc,” Gabriel promised.

  “Will you…?” Judes chest was flushed, his nipples pointing so that Gabriel had to take them in his fingers and torment them as he nuzzled Judes heavy cock.

  “Will I what, Doc?”

  “Suck my balls?”

  “There isnt a part of you that wont feel my tongue,” Gabriel promised.

  Chapter Twelve

  In the shadowy loft, Jude faced Gabriel. Theyd both removed their clothing, though Gabriel had insisted on bringing his guns and rifle up to their bedroom. Hed wanted to ask Gabriel about that, but the larger man had cupped his cheek and kissed him, distracting him magnificently.

  Maybe his warrior was just feeling protective. It was his nature, Jude had learned.

  “Do you want to resume our play?” Gabriel asked somewhat breathlessly. He rubbed his lips against one of Judes slim shoulders, and Jude shuddered, his fingers digging into Gabriels back before they rose up to tangle in his dark hair. Gabriel hadnt shaved this morning, so Jude appreciated his care when he kissed Judes smoother face. Jude had teased him recently that he could scrub the cabin floor with his stubble and wind up sanding the wood.

  “You mean…where Im the brothel boy and youre my client?” Jude asked. He was afraid of taking Gabriel inside again, but he also needed it. “I admit I have difficulty sometimes picturing such places.”

  “There are such places in Boston, Doc. You could have sought them out.”

  “I would have been terrified. And what if my family…? It was bad enough when my mother guessed why I would not ask Mary Durrant to be my wife.”

  “Is that when you left to come out west?”

  Jude nodded. “Mother said it would make no difference to doing my duty for the family, but I decided it was best to leave it all to my younger brother, Jeffrey.”

  “Must have been hard, coming out here all alone.” Gabriel rubbed Judes silken back, and they nuzzled, their bodies bare everywhere so that Jude could feel Gabriels erection brush affectionately against his own. Oh, what a sensation.

  “Just as you did when you came out west.” He wanted to push Gabriel for more about his past but was afraid of resurrecting too many ghosts. This was their time.

  “The war had ended and wed lost, but I found I did not care,” Gabriel said. “Id spent some time in a Northern prison camp and was glad to quit their hospitality.”

  “My first day in Sylvan, Mouse was born.”

  Gabriels eyes widened, and Jude nodded. “Nine years ago. I was always grateful I came when I did because I dont believe he would have survived without a doctor.”

  “You treat him like your son,” Gabriel whispered.

  “It is how I feel about him. A man like me… Hes the only chance I have to care for someone.”

  Gabriel gave a little smile. “There is another chance to care for someone.” He took Judes smaller hand and placed it on Gabriels cock. Judes breathing picked up as he stared wide-eyed into Gabriels dark eyes and explored the generous stem in his grip.

  “It feels a bit like a thick tree root. The top is so soft.” Jude squeezed it very gently, and Gabriel inhaled sharply. His hand covered Judes in warning. “If you do that again, I may embarrass myself.”

  “I would like to taste your…embarrassment,” Jude admitted, mischievous.

  “Jude! You are not helping!” Gabriel shook him gently, but Jude stood on his tiptoes and let his tongue taste the skin of Gabriels forehead, his cheeks…

  “Tell me what it would be like if we were to meet in a brothel for men like us?” Likely he would never experience such a place himself.

  For an answer, Gabriel let go of Jude. Jude wanted to pout when he lost the sheltering warmth of his body. However, he did delight in watching his lover walk over to the hope chest in the corner of the loft, the muscles in his lean rear end rippling under the skin. Jude wanted to kiss him there. The thought of being so daring made his face heat. Would Gabriel like that?

  Gabriel pulled out a familiar black and dark blue lace item and tossed it to Jude. “Put it on,” he ordered in a rough voice.

  Jude gripped the corset. “So Im to be your boy?” he asked softly, licking his lips.

  “Oh, yes,” Gabriel said. “My boy especially hired for my tastes. My boy Im going to pound my body into.” His eyes lightened a little at Judes expression. “All right?”

  “Yes.” Jude didnt care if it hurt again. He needed Gabriel inside him, big and solid. He wanted to feel a man. “Set the scene?” he asked as he slid whalebone and lace over his back. It was a little annoying how easily the womans garment fit over his slight body. Gabriel could span his waist with both hands, even without the device.

  Gabriel prowled around him and kissed the top of his shoulder as he took the ties, tightening them. Jude gasped, mastered. He felt more and more like the boy who would give his client pleasure. “The lights would be on low in the parlor when I arrived. It would be late, after the theater had closed for the evening. There is a place in NOrleans…” Gabriel slurred the words together. “You and the rest of the offerings would be waiting, dressed much as you are now. You might take up a pose that is suggestive of your specialty. You would lean over a chair wearing your corset so that your pert bottom would be raised, ready for me.”

  Heart thudding, Jude blew out a breath. “Oh, my.”

  Gabriel cupped his ass. His eyes were heavy lidded, his lips soft when they brushed against Judes lifted mouth, though the stubble was rough. The contrast screamed man to Jude, who did not have as much reason to shave daily.

  “On the bed, boy,” Gabriel ordered in that silken voice.

  His cock wobbling between his legs in an embarrassing fashion, Jude nevertheless went, urged on by a sharp slap of his rear end from Gabriel. His lover was very much in control now, and Jude knew soon hed lie open and spread, taking his hard thrusts.

  Once he lay on his back, Gabriel spent a moment considering him. Jude felt the heat of his blush on his chest and neck. He moaned and widened his legs and saw fire in Gabriels eyes.

  Gabriel reached for the loose ends on Judes corset, one knee on the bed between Judes wanton legs. Jude felt the hard round shape of that knee against his balls and it made him whimper, so he closed his thighs around the shape.

  “Youre in need of it, a good fucking,” Gabriel noted. He tugged on the corset ties, pulling Jude up so that he leaned against Gabriels muscular body. “Do you want me to use you the way I do the whores I visit?”

  Judes throat was too tight to speak. He couldnt meet Gabriels gaze, but he nodded.

  “Over my knee, boy.” Gabriel pointed. “You offered me that ass, and I want to warm it.”

  Judes eyes saucered, but he didnt resist. He climbed onto Gabriels lap so that his posterior was high, and he waited, his hands clenched in the wedding ring quilt, his penis a hard log against Gabriels body.

  “A man likes to spank his boy,” Gabriel said. “And you are my boy, arent you? As I am your man.”

  “Yes, Gabriel. I am your boy,” Jude said.

  Gabriel proceeded to spank him. It was not like something he might have suffered in school or from one of his nannies as a child. This spanking was sensual. Gabriel started off almost gently, and between each swat, he rubbed Judes skin as if he liked to feel the hot, satiny flesh.

  “I can see my handprint now,” Gabriel said. “Get up and go look in the mirror. I want you to see it on you.”

  Jude swallowed, his body warmed and his cock ach
ing painfully. More and more, he needed Gabriel to shove inside him, to fuck him. Obediently he got off the bed and walked to where the mirror reflected him and turned around slowly. His bottom was reddened in patches. He could see the outline of Gabriels large hand.

  Dazed, Jude rubbed the pattern and whimpered when Gabriels arms surrounded him and his palm covered Judes. Gabriel stared at the marks hed made, looking satisfied. “Now youre my whore,” he whispered. “Arent you?”

  Jude looked up at Gabriel and nodded. “I am yours.”

  “I almost wish I could put some permanent mark upon you. Something youd wear willingly, perhaps between your legs, so whenever I spread you, Id see it.”

  Jude worried his lip, liking the idea but too timid to admit it.

  “Do you want me to bite you there, little one?” Gabriel asked, his hands turning Jude so that he faced the mirror with his back to Gabriel. Gabriel pushed his legs farther apart and massaged Judes inner thigh, ignoring the impudent cock that was needy for his attentions.

  “Yes, Gabriel.”

  “My boy wants to wear the mark of his man,” Gabriel said. He squeezed Judes balls gently, and Jude had to stifle the sound that rose. His bottom was tender and warm, and all the blood the spanking had brought to his lower body had made him one heavy ache, craving relief.

  “Back to the bed. If its not too uncomfortable, lie on your back for me with your arms above your head.”

  As Jude returned, he felt another caress of his ass. Gabriel seemed to particularly appreciate it, squeezing where his handprint burned.

  When he lay down, lips parted, his hair tangled in his eyes and damp against his sweaty neck, Jude separated his legs instinctively. He wanted to invite Gabriel inside him. If it was rough, he didnt care. Hed come from having that thickness driven into him previously, and he needed so badly to come now.

  Gabriel knelt beside him and took the long, loose ties of the corset. Quickly he used them around Judes upturned wrists, binding his hands together. “You will lie there, boy,” Gabriel directed. “You will keep your legs nice and open for me.”

  Jude took a deep breath. “Yes, sir,” he said. All week he had wanted Gabriel to cover him, even as hed been a little afraid of it.