Angus's Lost Lady

by Marie Ferrarella

  “And that’s it?” Angus demanded, raising his voice. He knew he sounded unreasonable, but right now he wasn’t feeling very reasonable.

  Several heads turned in their direction.

  “Hey, you find something, I’ll run with it,” said Biordi.

  Angus dragged his hand through his hair, feeling like an idiot. Losing his temper and yelling at Al wasn’t going to accomplish anything.

  “Okay, sorry.” He slanted a look at Rebecca, wishing the wall he was trying to put between them would hurry up and block her out. She had come to him as a client and he had to keep that uppermost in his mind. The rest of it shouldn’t have happened. “Now what?”

  Biordi sat down behind his desk and pulled the telephone closer. “Now we call Howard Dunn and tell him we found his fiancée.” Out of consideration for Angus, he’d held off calling the man.

  Howard. The name that had popped out of Rebecca’s mouth at the hotel when he was tracking Madison. It was all coming together now. And he wished to God it wasn’t.

  “Howard Dunn?” Rebecca repeated.

  The note of recognition in her voice pierced Angus, killing the last iota of hope. “Familiar?”

  “No.” She didn’t want it to be, but there was something. Something. “Yes.”

  His eyes narrowed, pinning her. “Well, which is it, yes or no?”

  “Vaguely familiar,” she snapped out. “It’s vaguely familiar—are you happy now?” She felt as if her voice were going to break.

  “Very,” he said, his tone the antithesis of what he was saying.

  Biordi felt as if he’d stumbled into a combat zone. He’d never seen Angus like this, and they went back a long way, through some pretty hairy situations. Angus had always been levelheaded, cool. In control. But there had never been a woman involved before.

  Biordi opened the file. “It says here that he’s her boss as well as her fiancé. Maybe that might account for the ambiguity on some level.” He raised his eyes and looked from Angus to Rebecca. “All right if I call him now?”

  Angus shrugged, but the decision wasn’t his to make. Biordi waited. Rebecca took a deep breath and then nodded. Biordi looked at the number written on the inside cover, and dialed.

  She didn’t know him, didn’t know the man who was hugging her with such abandoned relief. His touch brought back no memories, no feelings.

  All she could remember was the way she felt in Angus’s arms.

  The scent of the man’s cologne nudged at her consciousness, but that could have come from anywhere. If he was her boss, she could have caught a whiff of the scent in the office at any time. It didn’t mean Howard Dunn was who he said he was. It didn’t mean he was her fiancé.

  Wouldn’t she remember if she loved him?

  Why would he lie?

  Why didn’t she feel something?

  Stepping back, overcome with emotion, the tall, darkly handsome man looked as if he could hardly believe she was here.

  “Rebecca, I’ve been out of my mind with worry. Thank God you’re safe. I feel like someone just handed me a brand-new life.” He ran his hands up and down her arms, oblivious to the way she stiffened at his touch. “Are you all right? Were you hurt? Where have you been?”

  He seemed obviously concerned and relieved to see her. Rebecca tried to muster a smile but couldn’t. She felt too hollow. “I really don’t want to talk about it right now.”

  And that was that, Angus thought. Their whole time together summed up in one sentence: She didn’t want to talk about it.

  He couldn’t blame her, even though a part of him might have felt better if he could. She had acted as if she were free and now she’d found out that she wasn’t. There had to be guilt attached to that.

  This was exactly what he’d tried to avoid. Her guilt, his pain.

  Obviously without success, he thought cynically.

  Slipping one arm around her shoulders in a possessive gesture that set Angus’s teeth on edge, Dunn looked at him. “Were you the one who found her?”

  As if she were some lost puppy he’d come across. “Actually, she found me.”

  Dunn appeared to hardly hear. “Well, whatever the circumstances, I owe you a huge debt.” Withdrawing his arm hesitantly, as if he were afraid that he would lose her again, Dunn reached into his pocket and took out his checkbook. “Name your price.”

  It took everything Angus had not to take a swing at Dunn. The thought of drawing blood from that perfect, aquiline nose vastly appealed to him.

  “Put it away.” It was a quietly issued order, but there was no mistaking the steel reinforcing it. “You don’t owe me anything.”

  Chapter 14

  Dunn’s expression told Angus that the man was annoyed by the rebuff. But he was also intimidated. Apparently more than willing to placate Rebecca’s protector, Dunn put his wallet away, fumbling slightly as he slid it into his pocket.

  “All right, have it your way,” he told Angus. “No money. But I’m still in debt to you for taking care of Rebecca.”

  Dunn turned to her, obviously eager to be on his way. “Are you ready to come home?”

  No, not with you! her mind cried in distress. But if Angus didn’t want her coming with him, where did she have to go? She was still a woman without any choices.

  Her back stiffened. She wasn’t just going to let herself be swept along. There had to be another choice. If there wasn’t, she’d create one.

  “Do we—” She took a breath, forcing the question out. “Do we live together?”

  Angus noted that the fact that she didn’t know didn’t seem to trouble Dunn. If anything, it appeared to amuse him, as if her amnesia were some sort of game.

  “No, we don’t. You like maintaining your independence. It’s one of the things I love about you.”

  “If you’re her fiancé,” Angus began, measuring each word out slowly, “why isn’t she wearing an engagement ring?”

  “Rebecca doesn’t believe in archaic symbols. She doesn’t want to wear a wedding ring, either.” There was a trace of annoyance in Dunn’s eyes, then he dismissed Angus. Dunn took Rebecca’s hand again, his eyes searching hers. His manner seemed to be a shade more at ease now than when he had first entered the squad room. “You really don’t remember anything?”

  When Angus saw her shake her head in response, he wanted to pull her away from Dunn. The man had no business holding her hand like that if she thought of him as a stranger, no business crowding her into mental corners.

  And what business did Angus have, crowding her? Didn’t the same set of rules apply to him? Wasn’t he still almost as much of a stranger to her as her fiancé was?

  “Nothing about us?” Dunn pressed gently. “Nothing at all?”

  “She said no,” Angus pointed out tersely. “She has amnesia—it’s not going to disappear just because you showed up.” He ignored the look Biordi gave him. Maybe he was behaving like an ass, but right now he couldn’t seem to help himself.

  “And you’re a doctor?” There was a snide, mocking edge to Dunn’s voice.

  “I took her to one,” Angus retorted coldly.

  Dunn withdrew, his manner once more congenial. “Yes, of course.” He flashed an apologetic grin. “I’m sorry. This has all been very emotionally trying for me. I was afraid I’d lost Rebecca for good. Finding her only to discover that she doesn’t know me, well, I’m not sure how to react.” His eyes shifted toward her. “We’ve been so close for so long....” He let his voice trail off.

  Angus shoved his hands deep into his pockets, forming fists.

  Just then, Biordi jumped in as referee. “I think you should take her to her place, Mr. Dunn. The sooner she gets into familiar surroundings, the better.” He glanced toward Angus. “Right, Angus?”

  “Right,” Angus bit off.

  “Will you excuse us for a minute?” Biordi took Angus aside not bothering to wait for the man to nod.

  “What’s the matter with you?” Biordi demanded in a low voice once they were away f
rom the others.

  Angus wasn’t sure how to put what was bothering him into words that didn’t make him sound like some kind of raving idiot.

  “Something’s not right, Al. I can feel it. Dunn’s not what he seems, I’d bet money on it.” Right now, all he had was a gut reaction. His eyes narrowed to cold slits as he looked back at Dunn. The man had his head in close to Rebecca’s, sharing some kind of confidence with her, rubbing her hand between his as if that would somehow bring her memory around. “I don’t like him.”

  “You can’t think a guy’s suspicious just because you don’t like him.” Biordi’s voice softened with understanding. “Just because he’s her fiancé.”

  Angus really hadn’t expected any support from Al.

  The detective was far too levelheaded to understand an irrational hunch. “You can’t,” Angus corrected. “I can.”

  With that, he walked back to Rebecca and Dunn. The man looked up, and Angus could have sworn that the relief he saw in Dunn’s eyes was almost smug. The back of his neck prickled again. Something didn’t fit.

  “We’ll be going now, Detective.” Dunn addressed Biordi, looking right through Angus. “Taking your advice, I want to get her into familiar surroundings as soon as possible.”

  Angus made up his mind. “I’m coming with you.”

  Dunn looked startled. He missed the ray of hope that leaped into Rebecca’s eyes. “I find that highly inappropriate.”

  From the look of it, the man’s suit could have paid the rent on his place for a month. That still didn’t make him anyone important in Angus’s book. “You can find it anything you want, Dunn. But Becky’s been thrown into enough unknown situations for a while. The bottom line is, she doesn’t remember you—and she does remember me. So whether you find it ‘appropriate’ or not, I’m going along to help her make the transition.”

  Dunn shot a look at Biordi to see where the detective stood on this barely veiled threat. Biordi merely raised and lowered his eyebrow, as if he thought that, just possibly, the annoying bastard who’d wedged himself into Rebecca’s good graces was making sense.

  Outnumbered, Dunn relented. “Very well, I can see where it might be a temporary comfort for her to have you around.”

  Rebecca’s head snapped up. That did it. She’d had enough. She was tired of being discussed as if she weren’t even in the room, and there was no way she’d stand around accepting crumbs of charity from Angus. He could just take those crumbs and shove them. Amnesia or not, she could look after herself. All she needed was to collect her things and have someone point her to her house, or apartment, or wherever it was she was supposed to have set up living quarters.

  “Wait a minute, don’t I get a say in any of this?” she demanded, her eyes spitting fire.

  Surprised by the sudden outburst, Dunn was quick to placate. “Of course you do, dear.”

  His tone only rankled her. She found it hard to believe that, despite his looks, she could have been attracted to Dunn, much less engaged to him. The man was a snob.

  “Don’t patronize me,” she warned. “I have a case of amnesia—not stupidity. First, I want you to show me where I live.” Her eyes swept toward Angus. “And then I want to go to your apartment and collect my things.” Things he’d bought her. The memory stung. Just being around him like this felt as if someone were twisting a knife in her heart. But that would be over with soon enough, she promised herself.

  And then the real pain would begin.

  “I’ll pay you back for everything you spent,” she informed Angus frostily. The question of her finances came to her suddenly. She looked at Dunn. “Do I have a checking account?”

  “Yes, of course,” he assured her. What was she getting at? “Your salary’s in the six-figure range.”

  “Good.” She nodded, her eyes blazing as she looked in Angus’s direction. “I’ll write you a check before you leave.”

  “Fine,” Angus bit off.

  “Fine,” she snapped back.

  Not so fine, Biordi thought, watching them leave the squad room. He wondered if he should give the guys working domestic violence today a call and alert them of a possible problem. From all appearances, Angus and Rebecca reminded him of two red-hot kettles, about to blow.

  Dunn would probably get caught in the cross fire. He supposed, to Angus’s way of thinking, that would make it all worthwhile.

  “But I don’t understand. Don’t you like it here anymore?” Vikki demanded, her petulance giving way to distress as she followed Rebecca around the room. She was doing her very best not to act like a baby and throw her arms around Rebecca, begging her to stay. That didn’t help, anyway. Mommy hadn’t stayed when Vikki had begged her to.

  Tossing her other pair of jeans into the suitcase that she hadn’t bothered to unpack, Rebecca looked over toward Angus. He was standing in the doorway, one shoulder against the jamb, silently watching her. For once, Jenny, who’d been baby-sitting Vikki when they returned, faded into the background and kept her peace.

  Angus left the ball in Rebecca’s court, refusing to come to her rescue.

  Rebecca damned his soul to hell as she squatted down to Vikki’s level. “I don’t belong here, Vikki. I have my own place.”

  Vikki stared at her, doing her best to understand what was happening. “Your ’nesia’s gone?”

  No, she thought in frustration, that still hung down before her like an asbestos curtain, separating her from her past, refusing to part.

  Looking at Vikki, she shook her head. “No, but someone who knows me came to the police station to tell them where I lived. That’s where I’m going now.” She couldn’t stand the shattered look on the small face. At least someone wanted her to stay—and it hurt like hell to tell her that she couldn’t. “Here, let me write the address down for you. This way, you’ll know where I am.” Reaching for the magazine Vikki had left on her bed, she flipped it over and wrote the address along the margin.

  Dunn had taken them to the small town house right after they had left the station. As soon as he unlocked the door, he had received a page from his office. Though he’d looked perturbed about it, he said he had to get back to smooth over what was turning into a transcontinental crisis. Rebecca’s failure to arrive in Japan and meet with the prospective buyers had triggered it, he had explained.

  Leaving them in the town house, Dunn drove off, promising to call and return the next morning.

  Though Rebecca had been quick to leave, there had been a vague, familiar feel to the place, as there was now, writing the address down for Vikki. But it was a distant feeling, as if she’d experienced it a long time ago, or maybe even felt it vicariously while watching a movie.

  She just didn’t know anymore what was real and what wasn’t.

  “Here.” She handed the magazine to Vikki. “Now you can always find me if you need me.”

  Vikki hugged the magazine to her. “But why do you have to go?” she demanded again.

  “Leave her alone, Vik,” Angus ordered sternly. “Rebecca has to be going.”

  The sooner the break was made, the better it was for Vikki, he thought. He was annoyed with himself for not suggesting that he just bring Rebecca’s things to her later. But he supposed that Vikki needed closure, needed to say goodbye.

  He sure as hell didn’t know what he needed.

  He couldn’t wait to be rid of her, Rebecca thought, biting back angry words. She wasn’t going to yell at him in front of his daughter, no matter how much he deserved it. She wouldn’t do that to Vikki.

  Feeling a sudden rush of emotion, Rebecca kissed Vikki’s cheek. In response, Vikki dropped the magazine and threw her arms around Rebecca’s neck. Rebecca absorbed the bittersweet sensation, holding the child to her for a long moment.

  She felt as if her heart were breaking.

  But then it was time to go. Very gently, she pried the small arms away, and then rose.

  “I’ll call you soon,” she promised Vikki. Without a word to Angus, Rebecca picked up her sui
tcase and walked past him. When he reached to take the bag from her to carry outside, she jerked it out of his reach. “I can handle it.”

  He raised his hand in retreat. “Suit yourself.”

  She felt as if the broken pieces of her heart had been shoved into a deep freeze. “I will.” She turned to Jenny and said her goodbyes.

  Jenny surprised Rebecca by giving her a quick hug. “Take care of yourself, kid.”

  Not trusting her voice, Rebecca merely nodded, then walked out the door on legs that didn’t quite feel as if they belonged to her.

  It didn’t help her to hear Vikki’s whimper of anguish in the background.

  The trip seemed longer because of the silence, but it took only twenty minutes to drive to Rebecca’s town house. Finding a spot not too far from the front door, Angus parked the car and got out.

  Rebecca was already out. She yanked the cloth suitcase out of the back seat, determined to get away quickly.

  “You don’t have to bother coming in.” Her tone dismissed him.

  She wanted him to be on his way before she broke down in front of him. She wasn’t sure how she’d managed to hold back her tears this long.

  “Yeah, I do.” He wanted to look around her house, make sure everything was all right. The phrase mocked him. Everything would probably never be “all right” again.

  With deliberate effort, Angus blocked out emotions that were gathering within him. The ones that would make him say things to her he knew he couldn’t...shouldn’t...say.

  “That’s right,” she realized. “I haven’t written out your check yet.”

  She walked ahead of him, afraid he would read things in her eyes that she refused to let him see. Her eyes blurry, Rebecca jabbed the key Dunn had given her into the lock—and missed. When she tried a second time, she dropped it.

  Angus stooped down and picked the key up before she made the effort.

  “I don’t want your damn check,” he growled, unlocking the door for her.

  She lifted her chin. “You don’t want mine, you won’t take Howard’s. Keep that up and you’ll wind up starving to death.”