Wide Awake: Part One (The Ward Family: Scott Ward Book 1)

by Miller, Jessie

  “They think you’re gay,” I whisper. He smiles and he shakes his head. He stare at each other. I need him to go back to being my boss.

  “Classic Annie.” He looks over to his sister, who’s acting like she just ran a marathon as she’s heavily breathing. I had just met her, but from that one meeting, I could tell she was a basket case. “Were there any phone calls while I was gone?”

  I exhale audibly. The loving moment is really only an act and I go back to being myself - even if I had a temporary lapse of judgement. I’m not sure why Scott feels the need to deceive them. If he really wanted them to change their minds about him, he should be honest. Like I’m going to tell him that. “No. No calls, no voicemails.”

  “Good,” he says.

  “What are you going to say to your dad?” I can’t look him in the eye. This all seems a little too intense for me.

  He smiles. “If we have to change our story, we change our story.” He takes hold of my shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “Everything alright over here?” A loud booming voice rings throughout the back yard and I jump a little. Peter Ward’s sons take after him. They are big, just like him. They are boisterous, just like him, and they know how to work a room. Scott, you could say, isn’t really a momma’s boy. He’s his father’s son.

  “Well, if it isn’t the main attraction. It’s nice to see you again, Grace.” I shook his hand.

  “Nice to see you too, Mr. Ward.” Maybe our plan will go through after all.

  Patrick and Annie leave the estate to get ready for the family reunion tomorrow. Peter invites Scott and I into his study, a labyrinth of books and old vinyl records. The place smells like aged wine and lived in leather. He tells us to sit down on the sofa. Compared to the rest of the house, I can tell that the study is used often, not just for peace and quiet, but for Peter to work and give fatherly lectures.

  “My son has never brought a woman home before.” Peter sits back in his chair. “I’m happy for you, Scott. I’m glad you found someone within the very own business, even if she is your assistant.” Every moment he speaks, I feel guilty. Not only are we lying to his family about being in a relationship, but we’re lying to the one man who groomed Scott into a success. Peter Ward has the reputation of being someone that anyone could rely on. I don’t know how Scott feels, but I become increasingly disappointed in myself.

  The room falls silent for a second.

  “Not that I deny my son’s ability to fall in love with the female gender, Ms. Brandt, but as a perfectionist and father of seven children, I know something isn’t right here. There’s something you’re not telling me.” Peter looks at me, then at Scott, and back to me. “Are you pregnant?”

  “No!” I say before even thinking.

  “Dad—“

  “Stop.” Peter raises his voice. “Both of you.”

  Scott goes to the edge of the couch. “Dad, she's not pregnant. Grace still works for the company.” Now both of them were looking at me. “I brought her here because I care deeply for her, and mostly because I don’t want you and mom nagging me about never bringing women home.” He signals to me. “She’s here. Get over it.”

  I nod briefly. Peter smiles. “Well isn’t this interesting? The one person that I never thought would ever find love and here he is. Completely smitten.” Peter relaxes into his desk chair and this helps Scott relax back onto the couch with me. He takes my hand.

  “I’m sorry if I’m intruding on your family gathering like this,” I say. “Scott has spoken so highly of you and your wife.”

  Peter smiles. “I’m sure he has.” There’s something else on his mind and I’m dying to know what it is.

  The growing silence is deafening. Scott and Peter look at each other like they can read each minds. For a while it’s not noticeable and then it gets just damn irritating. “Do you want me to leave your office, sir?” I ask quietly.

  “Actually, I would like to speak with my son privately, yes.” Peter says. “I am very grateful you’re here, Grace. Even if my son has made a stupid decision, you are always welcome into our household.”

  “Thank you, sir.” I release my hand from Scott’s grasp and leave the room. Walking through the door and into the hallway, I replay the past five minutes in my head. This makes the entire weekend colored differently. Does the rest of the family think that I’m some skank Scott hired? Do they know I’m his assistant, but they just didn’t want to say anything? So many questions. All I want is to relax.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I walk back into Scott’s bedroom and practically throw myself onto the bed. It’s still late afternoon and I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen for the rest of the weekend. All I know now is that I didn’t get any coffee and I can’t seem to keep my eyes open.

  When I wake up from my hour long nap, I see Scott sitting on the bed, staring at me. I am still nervous to do anything out of turn. I freeze. He smiles. “How was your nap?” he asks.

  I shake my head and stretch out. “Good.” Looking around and crossing my arms, I can feel the goosebumps rising as I stand. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you when we’re alone.”

  Scott laughs. “Just be you,” he says. “You see me every day and you’re worried about how you should act around me now?”

  I glare at him. “You’re my boss.” I hesitate. “Do you want me to suddenly open up to you like we’re best friends? I don’t want to lose my job.”

  “Who said anything about losing your job?” He raises his voice. “Why would I bring you to my family’s home if I were going to fire you on the spot?”

  “Scott, calm down.” I whisper. I’m not sure why he isn’t.

  If you learn one thing from this story, it’s this. Never piss off Scott Ward. Never, ever, ever. Not only can he mentally defeat you, but he’s all muscle. Most of the other women in medical school called me an “alpha female”, but when it comes to Scott Ward, he is the leader of the pack. The top of the food chain.

  “I… I’m calm.” His chest relaxes and a second later, he has his elbows on his knees, his face in his hand. “Are you calm?” he says.

  After a moment of staring at him, I said, “Yes. Calm.”

  He takes a moment to inhale and exhale deeply. “What would you like to do tonight? Every one else won’t be here until tomorrow morning.”

  I shrug. I really have no idea what I want to do. I am hungry though - all this frantic lying makes me want to stuff my face. We left so sudden from the office that I didn’t get to eat anything, not even my mother’s banana bread. “Are you hungry?” I ask. “I can pick us up some take out. Whatever you like.”

  “Grace, please.” Scott whispers. “Forget just for a moment that you’re on a job.” He looks at me directly. “Pretend I’m a normal human being, with a normal life, and not someone who signs your checks.”

  “Fine,” I say. It feels like that one word has more weight to it than ever before. I force a smile and ask, “Would you like to go to dinner with me? Not take out, just a normal human being sit down dinner.”

  “Yes.” He smiles. It scares me that his demeanor can change so quickly. “I know a place.” He stands up so fast that I can feel myself almost bouncing off the edge of the bed. “Let’s go.”

  “What about your parents?” I ask.

  “What about them?” He replies. “We can go to dinner alone. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

  Scott and I make our way downstairs. Across my chest laid the strap of my crossbody purse and I slip on sandals when we leave the room. Once we reach the downstairs landing, he looks to our left and right, making sure no one was in sight. “Let’s go!” We dart for the door. I giggle quietly. “What?” he whispers.

  I shook my head. “Nothing.” I smile like he has never seen me smile before. “Let’s go.”

  ********

  Rumor has it that Saugatuck has a massive gay community and isn’t ashamed of it. Especially during the
summer and Labor Day time of year. As we walk up and down the sidewalk on our way to the restaurant, young and old men alike stare, but he doesn’t pay attention. We walk hand and hand and arrive at our destination. His favorite restaurant, The Toulouse, is a French restaurant in the middle of West Michigan.

  Scott and I sit across from each other at our private table. Something about him is different. I’m not one who notices stark differences in people, but when you work side by side with someone for more than two years, you develop the sense to know the difference. Then again, up until this point, I have never gone to a restaurant with him with the intention of staying as his guest. This whole weekend is going to be a different experience for me. I keep readjusting myself as our waiter walks up to us and Scott orders our food.

  “I can’t even order for myself?” I ask.

  “Stop making everything difficult. Relax.” He replies and leans back in his chair. Before I could even fight with him, my cell phone ringer goes off. I sit frozen for a moment. “Aren’t you going to look at your phone?” He asks and squints his eyes.

  I rush to open my purse and grab my phone. My mother’s calling. “Can I get this?” I ask. He nods and I hurriedly answer the phone. “Hi Mom.” I walk out the front door of the restaurant.

  “Grace, baby, how’s everything going?” The one thing I need is her voice. She’s the one person that calms me down before I even know I’m going to hyperventilate. In the background, I hear the partying senior citizens causing havoc.

  “Good, Mom, good.” I don’t want to lie to her and say I’m scared out of my mind that my boss is going to fire me at any moment if I do something wrong this weekend. “Listen, I can’t talk right now, but I will call you later tonight, okay?” My pulse is going a mile a minute, wanting her to not ask questions. Not now anyways.

  “Is there something wrong, Grace?” Her tone is more serious. “Because if there is, you know you can tell me.”

  “Everything’s fine,” I say. “I’ll tell you everything later, but right now, I need to go.”

  “Okay,” she says. “Call me later. I love you.”

  “I love you too.” I hang up and walk through the front door. As I spot our table, I see a tall brunette standing next to our table talking to Scott. For a second, I feel jealous. He gives her a kiss on the cheek and when he sees me, he waves over.

  “Grace, this is Rachel, my sister.” Okay, anger averted.

  “Hi,” I shake her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.” I should’ve known. She isn’t built like the women he normally has in his office. She’s strong and dressed in mom jeans. I take my seat and Scott smiles.

  “Are you here with Sean?” He asks and she nods.

  “We’re just about to leave actually.” When Rachel made eye contact with me, I know instantly they’re truly related. “I know I’ll see you tomorrow, but I just couldn’t help myself.” She goes to hug him again, and Scott gives her a fierce hug back.

  A tall man (taller than Scott) with jet, black hair and brown eyes walks up to our table. He grabs Rachel from around her waist. “Well, look who we have here.” She turns around and kisses him.

  “This is Sean, Rachel’s husband. Sean, this is Grace, my girlfriend.” I hold out my hand and shake his. Suddenly, my nerves light on fire. So far, the Wards are the nicest family I’ve met, and it kills me that I’m not actually a part of this world. That all I am is a pawn that Scott will get rid of as soon as we’re done with the weekend.

  What kills me is that he’s the only child who had never been through something excruciating unlike his siblings. While Patrick and Allie have their health problems, Sean has been on his third tour of Iraq and Afghanistan with the Marines. That left Rachel to be the military wife – not a life that a lot of women could put themselves through. They were struggling to have a child, and when war sets in, Sean is the kind of man that will go when he’s called. Which makes me feel bad for both of them. I feel bad for Sean’s ultra hero complex, but more for Rachel, who has to keep the home warm for him. Even though I feel sorry for them, I can see the love between them right as they look at each other.

  “We have to get going,” Rachel says, “See you tomorrow, little brother.” We both stand up and Scott hugs Rachel. “It was nice to meet you, Grace.” She goes in to hug me too. This situation could not be more awkward.

  Sean nods at both of us and begins walking behind his wife. Even though he’s a Marine, you can definitely tell who wears the pants in their relationship.

  Our food arrives and the waiter pours us our wine. Sitting silent for a moment, I can take in the man who sits in front of me. Half of me wants to see Scott as a man and not my employer, the other half still has her back up straight, cringing at the first half. The second half is calling the first half a psycho. I struggle with what to say.

  “I didn’t know you came from this small of a town,” I manage to get out.

  Scott shrugs. “Not many people do,” he says. “Where did you grow up?”

  I take a swig of my wine and am suddenly nervous. My entire body is. “Chicago. Mostly the suburbs.”

  “Which one?”

  “Oak Forest,” I say.

  “Ah,” he says after swallowing his wine. “That’s near the Cook Country prison, right?”

  “Sure, if that’s all you think the suburbs of Chicago are home to.” Of course everything I say to him has to be laced with sarcasm.

  He laughs. “I had to bail my brother out. That’s how I know that.” Scott’s youngest brother, Blake, is the playboy of the family. That I knew explicitly. As Scott’s assistant, I always had to make the arrangements to spend that money on stupid activities, like bailing his younger brother out of jail, when he really should have spent a good month in there to learn lessons and the fact that there are always consequences, no matter what the action.

  “Well, I had a good childhood,” I reply.

  “No one who’s had a good childhood says it like that.” Shit. Of course he would do that. “What happened?”

  I straighten up again. No one has ever asked me questions about my childhood or what I had gone through to be the woman I am today. I have never volunteered that information, but honestly, I don’t think anyone has even cared. He widens his eyes, expecting a response.

  “Shouldn’t our food be coming soon?” I look over his shoulder towards the kitchen door. He knows I’m nervous. I, of course, know I’m nervous. Why I’m playing this mind game, I have no idea.

  “You don’t have to share it with me now,” he says. “But Grace, one day you will. I will be waiting to hear that story from you.”

  Excuse me? “Excuse me?” I say, not thinking clearly.

  “Did I stutter?” He must really like that phrase.

  I stay quiet, then murmur, “No.”

  “Exactly,” he says, “I want to know more about you, how you grew up, why you decided to apply for the job as my assistant, what you really want to do with your life.” Our waiter comes with our food and interrupts his rant.

  We both eat in silence and as I chew, I look at him. What the fuck is he trying to do to me? Is he trying to see me break, so that he can fire me and really put me in the dumps? He knows he has all the power, but for some odd reason, I feel like he’s trying to break a little bit. I swallow and give in.

  “I don’t remember a time when it wasn’t just my mother and I.” My story starts. Scott stops eating. “I know she must have had a start somewhere, but I never grew up knowing her past or who my father is, really.”

  He goes to talk. “I’m not finished,” I say. “Eat and I’ll continue.” He obliges. “We lived in the city, but spent our time in Oak Forest because that’s where my grandparents lived. My mother hates the suburbs, but she couldn’t afford to live in the good part of the city. She began working for the free clinic in the building next door as a nurse when they couldn’t find anyone.” The more and more I tell my story, the more I get comfortable with Scott.

  I stopped talk
ing and Scott stopped eating. “If you would like to stop, you’re welcome to. I’m sorry that I pressured you.”

  “Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” I eat more of my dinner and drink more of my wine. His phone buzzes and he tells me some business things that need to get taken care of when we get back into the city. He goes on and on about potential deals and how if those deals go through, we’ll have to travel more together.

  “Is this just another part of my job now?” I dare to ask. I’m afraid that he’ll say yes, because that means I won’t just be his assistant anymore. I’ll have to be his companion. The last thing I need is for my job to turn into double time work – where I’m pleasing my boss instead of just assisting him with office tasks.

  “There is a pay raise. I won’t use you if you don’t want me to.” He leans forward, getting into his business stance. A stance I’ve seen him in multiple times.

  “The word ‘use’ doesn’t sound too assuring,” I say to him. He smiles. I smile. He knows I’m joking. “Plus, I already signed a contract, so I’m pretty much yours.” The words come out before I think about them. I continue eating to avoid saying anything else.

  I’m not sure what I’m thinking about following along in his plan. I know that this could end up turning to be disastrous, but there’s something here that’s telling me that everything will be okay. I don’t like to be gullible, but maybe there is something here and I just don’t see it.

  After dinner, Scott and I walk back to the estate. The weather starts to get cold and I try to bury my hands in my pocket. In the middle of the struggle, Scott takes my hand again. He’s good at this game. Neither of us recognizes the gesture. I’m just happy that my hands are warm. His hands easily cover mine and are warm and clammy, unlike before. For a moment, it feels like home, then it just feels gross.