All He'll Ever Be

by W Winters

  If you’re smart, you avoid it and if you have to be around it, you stay away from the parts that hurt. But those aren’t the parts that destroy. It’s the parts that you begin to crave, the parts you don’t want to resist that bring you to your knees. They make you forget or maybe they make you think the sharpness won’t cut you, as if you’re somehow immune or no longer prey to it.

  Even knowing so, I fall helpless to the way he cups my chin like that. And I sit there for far too long with my fingertips lingering where I can still feel him.

  I can’t breathe as I wake up. The cold sweat that covers my skin makes me shake, as does my racing heart. The room is dark, and I can’t see for a moment, but the hands gripping my shoulders and holding me down aren’t the ones in my nightmare.

  It’s not Stephan, I try to think logically as I hear Carter’s voice yelling at me to wake up.

  My chest heaves as the light filters into my vision and I see him. The anger in his tone is absent from his pained expression.

  My shoulders hunch forward as I try to calm down. It was just a night terror. I can’t control them. I can’t stop them.

  “Please don’t send me back,” I barely push out and it causes Carter’s fingers to dig deeper into my shoulders before he releases me. Stalking to a chair on the far side of the bedroom, he sits with his body leaning forward, his dark eyes staring at me through the dark room.

  My skin tingles with a numbing fear. I can’t go back to the cell. Tears leak from my eyes at the thought that one fear of mine, a man who destroyed my world and threatened to do more, would keep me from being safe from yet another, the cell.

  “Please,” I plead weakly and before the word is completely spoken, Carter commands me, “Come here.”

  Although my body feels weak, I force my limbs to move quickly as they fight with his sheets. I practically fall to the ground and quickly crawl to him, the rug brushing against my knees.

  In nothing but a pair of silk pajama pants, his abs ripple in the faint moonlight. His body looks like it was carved in marble. Even with the fear still strongly present, I can feel the itch of my fingers to run down the carved lines of his muscles. If nothing else, he’s a beautiful distraction. He can use me, fuck me into a deep sleep. And I would beg for it in this moment.

  I’d beg him to use me and take away everything else.

  I slow my pace as I get closer to him, the necklace nearly dragging on the ground. Its presence makes my nakedness very much at the forefront of my mind. His knees are parted, and I settle in between them. In the darkness and with that look in his eye, he radiates power as I kneel at his feet.

  Slowly, I reach my hands up to his thighs in the silence. He hasn’t said a word, but I’m sure I have to please him. I can’t go back to the cell. Not over this.

  My fingers slip between the silk fabric and his hot skin at the deep V on his hips.

  My actions are cut short and my heart lurches when Carter’s strong fingers grab my wrist and yank my hand away. I can barely breathe as the intensity in his gaze ignites.

  The silence stretches as he stares at me and I feel helpless, not knowing what he wants.

  “Get on all fours,” he commands me, barely loosening his grip so I can quickly obey him. My heart thumps so hard it’s all I can hear.

  “Face on the floor,” he tells me, and I do as he says, keeping my ass in the air. “Palms up and at your knees,” Carter tells me and again I do as he says, but he repositions them. All the weight of my body is on my shoulders and neck as I lay my head on the floor and my arms stay behind me, not useful in balancing or aiding me in any way. I’m completely bared to him and at his mercy.

  A moment passes and then another as Carter paces around me. I try to swallow, but I can’t. The fear of him finding me less than pleasing makes my knees tremble, and he only responds by moving my legs farther apart. The moment I close my eyes, his deep and rough voice commands me to open them and look at him. Towering over me, I have no idea what my dark knight thinks of me or what he plans to do to me.

  “Tell me what you were dreaming of,” he finally says, and I answer him, the rug rubbing against my cheek and my breath feels hot against my face.

  “I don’t remember,” I tell him and although it’s true, I know what the terrors consist of.

  “It wasn’t important to you? Not important enough to remember?” he asks as he crouches behind me. I can’t see him, but I can feel him. I can always feel Carter’s unyielding presence.

  “No,” I shake my head against the ground and answer him how I think he wants me to. “It’s not important and I’m sorry,” I tell him, and the silence stretches.

  My body jolts forward as his hand brushes against my ass. The rough pad of his thumb follows down to my pussy, gently trailing along my clit and then back up. He grips my ass cheek in a bruising manner and my eyes shut tight as I prepare for more.

  Whack! His hand slaps against my ass and forces a cry from my lips. I sink my teeth into my lip and take another. The sharp stinging pain is accompanied by his hand sliding up my front, so he can roll my left nipple between his fingers. The combination of pain and pleasure is directly linked to my clit. My body rocks to the side, unable to stay still as he pulls my now hardened peak.

  He instantly releases me to push down on my upper back between my shoulder blades, and he spanks the same spot on my ass again. Biting down on my lip, changes the cry to a muffled whimper and the pain that shoots up my body ignites every nerve ending in my body, heating my core and stealing my breath.

  Panting against the rug, I wait for more. I can feel my pussy clench around nothing, praying for pleasure to take the pain away. His splayed hand on my back travels along my spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps. I can feel his breath against my ass before he bites down, making my mouth form an O with both surprise and something else. The pain is nothing like what I expect and my body trembles with delight at the thought of more.

  Quickly, he pulls away and another sharp smack meets my heated skin, this one sending tears to my eyes. The pain and intensity have gathered into a ball in the pit of my stomach and I don’t know that I can take anymore.

  “Please,” I whisper, but I don’t know what I’m asking for.

  “Why am I punishing you, Aria?” His deep voice is a soothing balm to my broken cries.

  “Because I woke you,” I answer him as I feel his hips brush against the backs of my thighs. He settles behind me and lowers his lips to my shoulder. He plants a small kiss on my shoulder as the head of his cock gently presses into my entrance. It’s only a tease and I find myself rocking backward, praying he’ll fuck me and take the pain away.

  His hot breath tickles the crook of my neck as he whispers, “Because you lied to me.”

  I can’t respond because he immediately slams inside of me and fucks me exactly how I wanted him to.

  Chapter 21

  Carter

  “There are five wings in the estate. And each has their own lock.” I glance down at Aria, listening to her bare feet pad on the marble tile as we enter the foyer. The double-doored entrance is only feet away and I know she’s resisting the urge to look at it.

  “There are locks everywhere, inside and out.” She chances a peek at me and stills when she meets my gaze. “I often invite those who I don’t consider friends here and sometimes I don’t want them to leave.”

  She’s silent as she considers what I’ve said. Nervousness trickles down her body. It’s in the way she swallows, the way she holds her hands in front of her. The way she almost trips over her own feet. And I love her nervousness.

  “The front door, for instance.” I motion toward it and she turns stiffly as if she wasn’t dying to look at it. “That box there, to the right of it. You need a code to open it, from either inside or out.”

  “I thought you said it was one or the other.” Her soft voice is questioning. Her hazel eyes peer up at me as if I’ve wronged her. As if I’ve hurt her. “You said a bird can be tethered or caged,
not both.”

  A smile tickles my lips as I reply, “Haven’t you learned that all you need to do is ask?”

  Her lips turn down into a frown, but she stays quiet. She knows she’s caged. Wherever she goes, she will go with me, caged and protected just the same.

  “I’m a prisoner,” she says as her voice cracks, and she looks longingly at the front doors. The architecture foreboding in a way that seems to forbid a guest from leaving.

  “You were before in your father’s home.” My voice is deep and echoes in the foyer. Her eyes reach up to mine in shock as I continue, “Afraid to leave. Afraid to do anything without permission.”

  “I wasn’t afraid,” she whispers, and I know she’s well aware of the lie she’s spoken.

  “You let fear rule you. Don’t lie to me.” Unease trickles through me. The realization of what she truly fears could change everything.

  “How do you know what I did and didn’t do?” she asks weakly, denying the truth and deflecting her attention to something else.

  Since she lied to me, I present a lie to her in return. “When you were offered to me, I did my research. I have friends in your father’s army of men. Eyes and ears who offer information for a certain price. I know you spent almost all of your time alone in your room. Maybe that’s why it took so long for you to obey me. You’re used to cells.”

  Her mouth parts, no doubt with a rebuttal, but wisely she slams it shut before a word is spoken.

  Time passes as we move on. Both of us quiet. Both of us in our own world of denial.

  “Your things can be moved to my office, den, or the bedroom. The drawing pad and whatever else you want,” I offer her but still, she’s quiet. Her fingers fidget with one another throughout the tour of the two wings she’s allowed to enter. She doesn’t seem to look at anything or notice anything at all unless we pass a window, which, as I pointed out, have locks on them as well.

  “Why are there five wings?” she asks me as I lead her to the grand kitchen. She still hasn’t eaten and she needs to. There’s no reason for her not to and the threat of sending her back to the cell if she doesn’t, is so close to being spoken to life. I’d rather save it for something else, something more meaningful. But my little bird needs to eat.

  “I had four brothers and decided they should each have their own wing,” I tell her and step into the kitchen. The garden is just beyond the back wall, lined with black glass from floor to ceiling. The floors are a dark walnut and polished so smoothly I can see our reflection in them.

  Her eyes move across the sleek, modern kitchen, from the high-end cabinets to the white granite countertops. Everything is done in white. It’s clean and modern and balances the black glass perfectly.

  I anticipate her saying many things, but not the next words that spill from her lips.

  “I’m sorry.”

  My forehead pinches with a deep crease. “For what?” I question.

  “You said you had four brothers. I take it that one or more have passed?” She turns to face me and her hip brushes one of the stools to the island. I can tell she’s not sure if she should sit or not, and I leave her wondering. Just like I leave the pangs of regret and sadness to settle in my gut. Instead, I focus on how discerning Aria is. She’s a deadly combination of beautiful and perceptive. I need to remember that.

  “Carter,” Jase calls out from behind me and when I turn his steps slow. His eyes drift from where I am, almost blocking Aria from view, and then to her.

  “I didn’t realize you were busy,” he says to me although his eyes travel down Aria’s body. Even with her robe tied tightly with the sash and covering her décolletage, she looks like she was made to tempt.

  “What is it?” I ask him and again he looks at her. From my periphery, I watch her glance at the floor and those fingers of hers continue making tight knots around one another.

  Gripping the back of her neck, just slightly, she stops her fidgeting.

  They both want to know what she is to me. I can see it written on their faces as much as I can feel the tension in the air.

  It doesn’t matter what she is, so long as they all know she’s mine.

  Even more, I know Jase is questioning the way I hold her at this moment and why she’s out of the cell. Maybe he’s wondering how long I’ll keep her out here. Or how long I’ll keep her period.

  I make soothing strokes with my thumb along the back of her neck as Jase tells me something about a car. I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. I don’t give a damn either. I assume it’s some update about the supply, but he doesn’t want to speak openly in front of Aria.

  My little songbird relaxes under my touch, peeking up at me every so often. I know she’s wondering what he thinks of her.

  “Aria,” I say her name in the middle of whatever Jase was saying and he falls silent. “I’d like you to step outside, so I can talk to Jase.” All I can hear is her breathing in this moment. The fear, the hope, the surprise of her surroundings. My poor Aria knows so little. But she’ll learn.

  She quickly nods but she doesn’t move until my hand slips down her back, leaving a trail along the silk. Jase stays by the island, his hands in his pockets as I lead her to the door. It’s black glass as well and blends into the wall, only opening when a verified print is pressed against the biometric security panel. Aria watches intently, but she wouldn’t be able to open it if she tried and with fifteen-foot walls around the garden and a guarded fence around the estate, she won’t be able to run.

  I can see it on her face when the realization registers with her.

  “And when I’m done with this conversation, it’s back to the bedroom.” I lean in closer to her and whisper in her ear, “I’m going to fuck you until I’ve had my fill.”

  The sound of Jase’s footsteps lets me know he’s coming as I watch Aria walk into the garden, letting the sun hit her face as if it’s the first time she’s ever experienced it.

  “I have Jared on the lookout at the club. We’ll have a list of the heavy buyers of S2L by the end of the week.”

  “Perfect,” I answer him although I watch Aria walking deeper into the garden to lie on a patch of grass. “Anything else?”

  “Talvery knows we have her.”

  A smile pulls my lips up. “It took him long enough. One of Romano’s men leaked it?”

  I turn to Jase, who’s watching Aria as he nods. “It couldn’t stay secret forever.” He turns to look at me before adding, “He’ll come for her.”

  “He’ll want to,” I correct him. “But which of his men would be willing to come here and die for her?”

  “She speaks highly of Nikolai,” Jase offers, and I can see the hint of a smile on his face. Aria’s first week in the cell gave me plenty of information as she talked out loud to nothing but brick walls, begging for help and companionship. Nikolai’s name slipped from her lips nearly every single fucking day.

  “Let him come. He can be the first of them to die.”

  Chapter 22

  Aria

  The smell of coffee is what wakes me, and without thinking I roll over in the large bed, stretching before I’m even fully awake. The soothing ache of my muscles is comforting, as is the gentle fragrance of clean linens and the hint of a masculine scent that makes my core both ache and heat.

  And then I remember.

  It’s always like this.

  I’ve been out of the cell for three days, and yet when I wake up in Carter’s bed, it takes me a moment to remember. Maybe I don’t want to admit that it’s real. Maybe a part of my subconscious is far away from here. But each morning I have to remember.

  Slowly, I calm my beating heart and wait for a noise, any sign that he’s here. He’s a sinful addiction, creeping into my blood and fueling the lust and fire for the forbidden. I crave him, his acceptance, his dominance, and yet I’m so aware that’s all wrong. That small voice that whispers there must be a way out of here is getting quieter by the day. That’s what scares me the most.

&nb
sp; Three mornings I’ve woken up in Carter’s bed, and just like the last two, he’s not here.

  Not physically, but he’s watching. I learned the hard way yesterday, only the second day of being out of the cell. I thought I couldn’t waste another day, listening and obeying. I had to try to find a way out of here. The memory forces my gaze to the dresser.

  I was snooping. How could I not? He wasn’t here, and I still have no way out of his grasp. No one comes in and no one goes out. The place is a fortress and I its prisoner.

  And so, drawer after drawer, I slipped them open, hoping to find something. I’m not sure what. A gun or a weapon.

  I’m not sure he’d listen to me if I made demands and held him at gunpoint, or that I’d be successful in rushing him or forcing him to let me go. Somehow, I find it hard to believe, but still, I had to try.

  My eyes close and my body tenses, remembering his deep voice and how it shook me to the core. The drawer slammed shut as I screamed out and dared to look over my shoulder at Carter leaning against the doorframe.

  “Kneel.” The one word I’ve refused over and over from Carter brought me to my knees. My words tripped over one another as I tried to apologize or hide what I was doing.

  But I’ve always been a terrible liar and he knew better.

  “Open your mouth.” Hearing him give me the command made my pussy hot and clench with desire. He throat fucked me. A punishment, I suppose, but it’s not what it was for me.

  With my fingers digging into my thighs, my eyes burning, and my breath cut from me, he shoved himself down my throat. And I was nothing but wet for him.

  The fear was still present. It’s always present. The knowledge that when he was done using me, he could send me back to the cell kept that fear very much alive.

  He wasn’t done with me when he pulled away and allowed me to breathe again. As I heaved for air, he forced me to all fours. Shamefully, my face turned hot as it hit the rug and he slammed inside of me. My back tried to arch as I moaned a ragged, strangled sound of pleasure.