Legally Red

by A. A. Albright

  Oh dear. I sometimes thought that the lives of my coven seemed a little like a soap opera plot, but as you’ll know by now, every word from Candace’s mouth was true. When the former minister had kept Wanda’s dad secretly locked away for years, Candace’s mother had known all about it, which I guess makes her one of the minor villains of the piece.

  ‘See!’ She glared at her daughter. ‘I knew it. That is what all of this is about. You can’t testify against all the horrible and illegal things I did for the former minister while I’m your mother. But as soon as you’re emancipated, that’s the very first thing you’re going to do.’

  I couldn’t fault her reasoning (although I could definitely fault her parenting). Back when the bad eggs in the Plimpton coven were being hauled into court, Candace’s mother had gotten away with her crimes for one reason only – because her daughter was the only willing witness.

  Wanda and Finn had gathered a good deal of evidence against Mrs Plimpton, but after the Wyrd Court had already spent a small fortune bringing the former Minister’s cohorts to task, they were reluctant to hold yet another trial unless the case was truly airtight. And the only way to make it airtight would have been to hear Candace’s testimony – which was unfortunate, seeing as it wasn’t possible in our Magical Law system for a child to testify against a parent. But an emancipated kid … well, they could probably do whatever the heck they liked.

  ‘I’m not going to testify against you,’ said Candace, her hands on her hips and her face flushed with anger. ‘I wanted to at first. But the second I’m free of being your daughter, I have about a million things more important to do than waste my time on you!’

  ‘Oh sure,’ her mother sneered. ‘That’s what you want me to believe, all so you can drive the knife in when I least expect it. Well if you think I’m sticking around and waiting for that to happen, you’ve got another think coming. I’ve got a new house all organised. The second I click my fingers you’ll never see me again, you smug little so-and-so.’

  While I couldn’t very well disagree that Candace was a bit on the smug side, the rest of it was a big back of rotten nuts.

  ‘Mrs Plimpton.’ I pulled her aside and lowered my voice. ‘You can’t just abandon your daughter. She’s a kid. She might not win today, but if she does, don’t you think you should still hang around? Prove to her that you love her no matter what.’

  She snorted. ‘Love her?’ she screeched, loud enough for her daughter to her. ‘How could anyone love a little girl as bossy as that?’ She snapped her bag shut, picked up her suitcase, then snapped her fingers and disappeared.

  I stared at Candace, wondering if I should hug her, or try and find some way to comfort her at least. But Kitty jumped down from a beam on the ceiling and leaped into her witch’s arms.

  ‘Come on then, Melissa,’ said Candace, stalking up the incredibly grand staircase. ‘I don’t have all day. Help me pick out which ribbons to wear.’

  15. Modern Parenting

  Miles arrived at the Wyrd Court three minutes before the hearing was to begin. By that time, Candace was pacing the floor and cursing his name. The second he arrived I rushed to his side.

  ‘I have to talk to you, Miles. About Goldie, and about Decon Phelan’s murder. I–’

  The hand came up. ‘You really do have a remarkably bad sense of timing, Melissa. We shall discuss this matter when it’s more appropriate.’

  I opened my mouth again, but he turned to Candace and said, ‘Come on. Let’s get inside and win this thing.’

  ≈

  Judge Blasket was presiding, just as Wanda and I thought. She was a woman with greying auburn hair, pale blue eyes and a smile that could be equal parts stern and kind. I hadn’t been before her in a court setting until now, but she was one of the more forward-thinking judges in the Wyrd Court.

  She once asked me to be her assistant, but at the time I was working for the ex-Minister. And as much as I would rather have worked for anyone other than Justine Plimpton, I had remained her assistant so that I could spy on her, mess things up for her and generally make her life as difficult as possible. I realise that makes me sound like a terrible employee (and a pretty dismal person, too) but come on – she was evil.

  The hearing was held in a small room, much more child friendly than the high ceilinged courtrooms where the criminal trials took place. We all sat in comfy purple chairs, surrounding a large round table. Judge Blasket had even brought a bowl of sweets for Candace.

  ‘I don’t want your sweets!’ cried Candace, pushing the proffered bowl away. ‘We’re here to decide if I can look after myself. You’re just trying to trick me into acting like a greedy little kid so you can convince yourself I’m not up to the job!’

  Oh, Candace! She really was one of a kind. As she continued to berate the judge, Miles gently tapped her on the arm and whispered in her ear. I couldn’t hear what he said, but I did hear her hiss back, ‘All right then. But only so I can win!’ She turned and smiled at the judge (it was more of a grimace really, but she was trying very hard). ‘I’m so sorry if I seemed rude, Judge Blasket. That’s not like me at all. The nerves must be getting to me. Thank you most sincerely for your kind offer of some sweets.’

  The judge gave her a gracious but knowing smile. ‘That was a little bit more sucking up than I needed under the circumstances, Candace, but I give you an A for enthusiasm. I was rather expecting your parents would be here by now.’

  ‘Yeah, well, you know what they say – expectation is the broom that lets you down over the deepest ravine. Judge Blasket, my mother has just absconded – to who knows where – because she fears that once I’m emancipated I’ll testify against her and she’ll be sent to Witchfield for her involvement in the ex-Minister’s crimes. And as for my father … well … he’ll probably be here in about two minutes. And when he does arrive, he’ll stink of whiskey and his latest girlfriend’s perfume.’

  She was barely finished the sentence when the door bust open, and a tall man walked in. I vaguely recognised him from when I used to have to take Mr Rundt (one of my previous bosses – I’m sure I’ve already mentioned him with all of the disdain he deserves) home from the Flying Club. Candace’s dad was one of the posh set, the witches with more money than sense who spent all of their free time – and probably quite a lot of time they should have been working, too – at the Riddler’s Cove Flying Club. I’d never seen him on a broom, but the same could be said about most of the club’s members.

  ‘Sorry, Judge,’ he said, straightening up his tie. His neck had lipstick on it, and he really did smell of perfume and whiskey. I could see a woman in the corridor outside blowing kisses his way. She was wearing heels high enough to make a person dizzy – maybe that would explain what she was doing with a guy old enough to be her father.

  ‘Take a seat, Mr Plimpton,’ said the judge through gritted teeth. ‘Seeing as you’ve already held us up, I think it’s time we began these proceedings in earnest. And in fact, I think I should rather like it if you were the one to begin. This hearing is the first of its kind, and I’ve decided to take rather an informal approach. So you can start by telling me why you feel Candace shouldn’t be emancipated, and then Candace can say her part.’

  She glanced at the door which was slowly swinging to a close behind Candace’s father. ‘Then I would allow both your lawyers to speak – if yours had bothered to turn up, that is. Is your lawyer running a little late too, Mr Plimpton? Perhaps she’s busy reapplying her lipstick.’

  Candace’s father guffawed. It’s never been my favourite sort of laugh, but it is the one he used. ‘Oh, Binky’s not my lawyer. Nah, I’m not really sure what she does for a living. I don’t have a lawyer. Do I really need one?’

  Judge Blasket sighed. ‘It’s completely up to you, Mr Plimpton. You can either request we postpone things until you’re better prepared, or we can begin now. Which is it to be?’

  ‘Oh. You want me to make the decision.’ He fiddled some more with his tie. ‘Begin, I suppo
se?’

  ‘Was that a question, Mr Plimpton?’

  ‘Hmm? No. No I don’t think so. I’ll kick things off if you like. Always was good at getting the party stated. Now let’s see … What would I like to say … ? What would I like to say …? Hmm …’

  ‘Only you know that, Mr Plimpton,’ the judge said, looking like she’d like to use his tie to strangle him. ‘Perhaps you could begin as I already suggested. Tell us why you don’t want Candace to be emancipated.’

  He goggled at the judge, letting out a shriek of laughter. ‘Oh, right! You were serious about that before. Wow. I didn’t know if I’d misheard or if you were joking.’

  She ground her teeth. ‘This might be an informal setting, Mr Plimpton, but this is the Wyrd Court. You will show these proceedings the respect they demand, or you will be held in contempt.’

  ‘Right.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Of course. Now, you want me to tell you why I don’t want Candace to get what she wants today. Well, I’m afraid I can’t do that, Judge. Because you see, for the first time ever, my interests align with my daughter’s. She wants to be emancipated, and I happen to think that’s the best idea since wizard brooms.’

  I wish I could tell you I was stunned by what he’d said, but I’d be lying. Because after speaking with Candace’s mother, I doubted I could be surprised by the depths some parents could sink to, ever again.

  I looked anxiously at Candace. She was keeping her face emotionless, but I could see her feet tapping nervously beneath the table. She’d had to leave Kitty at home, which was unfortunate for a girl who refused to take comfort from anyone or anything except her familiar.

  I might not be surprised by the turn things were taking, but this was the first time Judge Blasket had ever met either of Candace’s parents, and she was most definitely in shock. She gave Mr Plimpton an open-mouthed stare, taking quite a few seconds to collect herself. ‘Did I hear you correctly, Mr Plimpton? You’re saying that you are not here to tell the court why you should retain custody of your daughter? You’re here to tell the court that you support her request for emancipation?’

  He nodded. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I’d say that’s about the size of it.’

  ‘And you’re not concerned as to how Candace will support herself?’ asked the judge.

  He shook his head. ‘She can go into an orphanage for all I care. And don’t look at me like I’m the bad guy here. The kid’s the one who’s rejected me. If anything you should be feeling sorry for me. All I’m doing is telling her she can have what she wants. It’s called modern parenting.’

  I personally thought it was called shirking your responsibilities, but I didn’t have any kids, so what did I know?

  The judge turned to Candace, her face softening into a sympathetic smile. ‘Are you all right, young lady? Would you like a minute to yourself outside before you present your side of the case?’

  Candace drew her shoulders square and held up her chin. ‘I’m perfectly fine, Judge Blasket. Why wouldn’t I be? Now, let’s get on with things.’ She pulled a file out of her little pink briefcase and passed it to the judge. ‘In there you’ll see copies of my bank statements, as well as projections of the profits I’m likely to make over the next few years from my various interests. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. I will not be a burden on the magical state, Judge Blasket. Furthermore, I think you’ve already seen that neither of my parents are actually looking after me as it is. All that my emancipation will do is make my current situation official, and–’

  The judge held up a hand. It wasn’t quite as impressive as Miles’s hand of interruption, but it was close. ‘In a minute, Candace. I’m just a bit busy being amazed by your bank statements at the moment.’

  I glanced at Candace’s father, watching him crane his neck to try and get a look. Finally, he stood up out of his seat and began to read over the judge’s shoulder.

  ‘In your seat Mr Plimpton!’ she ordered.

  He scurried back to his chair, but judging by the fact that he was wide-eyed and whistling, I think I can say with certainty that he got to see more than enough.

  He cleared his throat. ‘Well, now, Judge, I think I might have jumped the wand a little bit before. You see, when I said that I didn’t want Candace, what I meant was that I didn’t want the poor girl to have to take care of herself. I–’

  Again, Judge Blasket held up a hand. She stood up, gathering Candace’s papers in her arms. ‘I think we can all agree that a situation as sensitive as this ought to be resolved as quickly and painlessly as possible. With that in mind, I’m going to need a few minutes alone to deliberate.’

  ‘But Judge,’ said Miles, ‘how can you deliberate? I haven’t had the chance to speak for my client.’

  She paused at the door and gave him a tight smile. ‘It would hardly be fair when Candace’s father has no lawyer, now would it? I’ll be back soon, Mr Master.’

  ≈

  While Judge Blasket was gone, Candace’s father attempted to strike up quite a few conversations with his daughter. Most of his attempts revolved around how much hardship he was going through and how he could really use her help purchasing the latest Snaz Mag watch and Whizman broom. Seeing as he was already wearing a Snaz Mag watch, and I knew quite well that he was the owner of one of Whizman’s most expensive brooms, I doubted he was quite as hard up as he’d like his daughter to believe.

  But Candace hadn’t come down in the last meteor shower, so she sensibly ignored him each and every time. It was the right decision in my opinion, especially seeing as one of his more personal attempts at conversation was, ‘So what age are you now, anyway? Seven? Eight?’

  When the judge finally returned, she had a determined look upon her face. She sat in her chair and looked around at us all.

  ‘I’ve come to my ruling,’ she said. ‘It may seem quick, but believe me when I say that this was no easy decision. As you all know, this is the first case of this kind in the Wyrd Court. And I hope it won’t be the last. When it comes to children’s rights, we even lag behind the Irish humans. That needs to change – and I encourage you, Mr Master, to bring as many children’s rights cases before this court as your heart desires.’

  Candace grinned and – to my shock and surprise – grasped my hand.

  ‘However,’ the judge went on. ‘As much as I believe we need change, this particular case is not going to be the beginning of such a movement.’

  I felt Candace’s small hand slip from mine. My own limbs were feeling a bit listless. I might not have believed Candace was going to get the result she wanted, but I’d hoped that I was wrong.

  She glared at the judge, while Miles seemed to be trying hard to keep his expression even. I knew he wasn’t used to losing, but I was a little surprised that he was shocked by this outcome. Even in London, where he hailed from, the decision would have most likely been the same.

  ‘Judge Blasket,’ he said. ‘I think you need to let me speak for my client. I–’

  ‘You would make an admirable case, no doubt,’ she said, cutting him off. ‘And I would quite likely agree with everything you have to say. I’ve seen Candace’s financial statements and I am one hundred percent sure that she is a young lady who can easily look after herself. But … it doesn’t seem right to me that she should have to.’

  She turned her eyes on Mr Plimpton. ‘You and your wife brought this child into the world, and she is your responsibility. In the absence of physical abuse, my hands are tied by the current laws, Mr Plimpton. Candace will be released into your care.’

  He smiled in a way that made me want to smack it right off his face. ‘Very good decision, Judge. I commend you.’

  ‘I wasn’t finished,’ she said, narrowing her eyes and pointing to Candace’s financial statements. ‘While I looked through your daughter’s bank records, Mr Plimpton, something became very clear to me. For months now, she has been buying her own school books and supplies. She has been paying for all of her clothing and – by the looks of it – quite
a lot of her own food, too. When Candace is released into your care, her money will not be going with her. Candace will be free to carry on all of her amazing businesses and projects, but we’ll be setting up a trust, to ensure that any profits she earns cannot be touched until she is an adult.’

  Mr Plimpton gasped, and once again resorted to playing with his tie. ‘Now Judge Blasket, I hardly think that’s fair. I want to appeal this. No, I want to cancel this and come back with a lawyer.’

  Judge Blasket stood up. ‘Stop fiddling with that infernal tie of yours, Mr Plimpton, and be quiet! Today’s decision is final. There is no recourse. You will be paying for your daughter’s food, clothing, education and pocket money – and we will be carefully watching to make sure she’s getting every little thing that she needs. We’ll also be appointing a social worker to carry out regular spot checks.’ She looked at Candace. ‘You’ll be given an address and telephone number so you can reach them at any time, day or night.’

  The judge stopped speaking, and the whole room went quiet as we took in her ruling. Eventually, Candace’s father stood up and said, ‘Well come on then, troublemaker, and be quick about it. I’m having a party this evening, mind you, so you’d better keep your smart mouth shut and leave us grown-ups to it.’

  Candace looked pleadingly at the judge.

  ‘It’s your responsibility to look after your daughter, Mr Plimpton,’ said Judge Blasket. ‘Not to boss her around. And certainly not to hold parties while a young girl is trying to sleep. And I would heed me, if I were you – or my next warning won’t be nearly so pleasant.’

  ‘Hah!’ he spat. ‘Boss her. She’s the bossiest bossy boots in all of Ireland.’ He sighed and straightened his tie for the umpteenth time. ‘Fine. I’m going home. Candace can follow me whenever she likes. I’ll do some shopping so there’ll be food in the fridge for her ladyship whenever she deigns to return.’