“I’m staying at the Ritz tonight,” she says. “We could go talk there if you wanted? They do a killer dinner.” Somehow dinner is the last thing on my mind.
I motion down at my sweaty gym clothes as we walk. “How about we head to my place first? I’ll shower, you can eat lunch, and then we can go anywhere you want,” I offer. “I’m sure the eau of man is appetizing with all the pheromones I’m giving off, but the Ritz won’t let me in their dining hall like this.” I catch her smile out of the corner of my eye.
“Okay,” she says, looking up at me without turning her head. “You wouldn’t be trying to take advantage of me, now, would you?”
I chuckle. “Me? No way. I want to talk to you.”
“But you also want to fuck me,” Lainey says. A mother walking with her child leans over and covers her kid’s ears and scowls at us. I laugh. Lainey looks behind us, trying to pass the blame onto the people trailing us on the busy street.
“I see your language is still as colorful as ever. What changed? It’s been six long months.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “You’re not answering my question.”
We get to my apartment building and enter the elevator. It’s not empty. “Yes. To answer your question. Of course,” I say, mumbling quietly but loud enough that she can understand. She leans against the back of the elevator car, smiling like the cat that got the mouse. There’s a few people between us, but I can see her over their heads. Her new haircut accentuates the angles of her face. Her long hair was a huge turn on, and right now I’m second-guessing myself because she looks smoking hot. We exit on my floor and I let her lead the way to my place. Leaning over her, I unlock the door, push it open, and give her the ‘after you’ wave.
She glances around, checking everything out like any woman or interior decorator would do. “Is Maverick coming back for his things?” she asks. Sometimes I forget about her past, how she’s just as observant, if not more so than I am. I notice a leather duffel in the corner and a shirt lying on top.
“He must be, yeah. Unless he’s leaving it here until next time.”
I hike my thumb down the hall to my bathroom. “I’m going to shower. You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen. Sparkling water is in the fridge and plates are in the cabinet next to the sink if you don’t want to eat out of foam.”
She reminds me that she’s been here and knows exactly where everything is and I retreat to the shower. I’m antsy, wound up, too excited to think straight. This is the moment I’ve waited for and I don’t have a game plan. First, I start the shower to heat up the water and then I slip the box out of my pocket and crack the lid. It’s not a bauble of the highest caliber, it’s a wedding band. Lainey’s wedding band that I had made especially for her. How did he do this? It has diamonds wrapping the entire band and an inscription that reads. We’re better together. How fucking intuitive was I, back then? What does Maverick think I’m going to do with this now? I take a deep breath because it’s been almost a minute and I haven’t breathed. This takes me back. What if we’ll never be there again? Who knows what she’s thinking? I’m a part of a past she wants to forget. I’m holding the ring, wide-eyed, shirtless, when Lainey knocks on the door.
“Can I come in? I’ll sit on the toilet and talk while you shower. I know how lonely you get when you have to wash yourself.”
I slip the ring into a drawer, throw off my shorts, and jump into the shower. “Come in,” I yell. The steam has clouded the glass shower, so she can’t see me. I’m sweating bullets and contemplating huge decisions. My face is probably contorted beyond recognition.
I hear the door click open and nothing else. She must be barefoot. “Thanks for the sandwich. It was so good I ate it quicker than it takes you to jack off. That’s what you’re doing in there, right?”
I see her outlined in the bathroom. She’s standing, not sitting like she said she would. “No, I’m actually planning my attack,” I say, shampooing my hair and then washing my face with the run off. “Tell me about the new you. Then maybe I’ll be able to come up with something.”
“I’m not something you should attack, Cody,” she replies, laughing. “I’m the same person, just new and improved. You know those women who go from relationship to relationship in short time frames? Like a serial dater except it’s more than dating. Well, I feel like those women never truly find themselves. They only know who they are with another person. Sure, I bet they change a little with each new man, that’s necessary, but who are they really? Do they like watching Discovery TV on Friday nights or is it just because their significant other does? I bet they’d rather be playing strip poker instead. What I’m trying and failing at saying is that I found more of myself when I was alone. I wasn’t lying to Dax about my past or trying to fix some horrendous mistakes with you. I just was.” I’m intrigued. It makes sense, but it also is worrisome.
I clear my throat. Soap got in my nose. “Are you happier single? Without me? Without anyone else? Is that what you want now?”
“No! God, no. I like dick too much. You know that. It’s been torture not having someone to hold me and love me and well, you know. I learned a lot, though. I can cook for one person. I can successfully babysit multiple kids for entire weekends, I like the farmers’ market, and most importantly, I love you.”
My heart skips a beat. And then another. I see her approach the glass. She puts both of her hands up. I put one of my hands up to meet hers. “So the question isn’t am I happy single. It’s are you happy single? And do you want to try this the old-fashioned way? From the beginning?”
I sigh. I’m clean, so I push open the door. Smiling, I say, “It’s not really old-fashioned for you to see me naked, Fast Lane. No, I’m not happy without you. I’m okay without you, because you forced me to be, but I’m not happy. The second Vadim died the only thing I’ve wanted is you. You’re the last piece to the puzzle, the last thing he stole from me that was obtainable. I lost those years and so much more. But you’re here and perfect and by some act of God, willing to give me a chance. I thought I fucked it up,” I say, keeping my gaze locked on hers even though her gaze is slipping down, around and all over my body. “I missed you, Lainey. I love you, always,” I say. I’ve proclaimed my love for her standing stark naked and wet. That counts for something. It has to. The time apart has changed me, like every experience in my life or in anyone’s life, really. You are everything that has happened to you. The good and the bad. The experiences sink into your soul and stain you. No one knows, of course. They can’t hear the screams or see the smiles, but they belong to you forever. Take them, before they take you. As for the opportunity standing in front of me, I’m taking it and running.
She smiles as a tear runs down her face. “I know we’re taking it from the beginning, but you’re the only one naked, and I really want to kiss you right now,” Lainey says, tilting her head to the side with that look in her eyes that drives me wild.
“Kiss me then,” I say, raising my chin. Softly she takes a large step toward me and falls into my arms, mouth first. I catch her with my lips pressed against hers, the scent of her perfume filling my senses.
I inhale deeply. “New perfume?” I ask without taking my mouth off of hers.
She smiles against my mouth. “You like it?” she asks, replacing her words in my mouth with her tongue. I’m not giving up her tongue, so I merely nod, pull her clothed body closer, and relish this moment.
Lainey moans and my cock strains against her and every hair on my body stands on end. How easy it would be to tear off her fucking clothes and sink inside of her. I’d bang her against the glass wall so hard I’d worry about shattering it. The hard way is what needs to happen.
I pull away, panting. “If we’re taking it slow, then I need to turn the water on cold and truly jack off this time. Just quickly.”
“Tell you what. You jack off and I’ll masturbate at the same time. That’s totally old-fashioned, right?” Lainey asks, a glint of mischief in her eye. If sh
e gets naked, I’m liable to slip and fall inside her. She knows it. This might as well be my invitation. Have we made any headway about our future? About our past? Does it matter right now?
“To be honest, when I told you I needed to come home and shower I really did intend to shower by myself and then do whatever you wanted. I didn’t expect—”
She cuts me off by holding up one finger and then removing her skirt and blouse.
She tosses them on the floor by my running shorts. “Sometimes what you expect and what you get are different. Other times what you want and what you get are the same,” she says, voice breathy. Sliding off her black string panties, she’s bare to me. “You also didn’t expect me to be so fucking horny I could cut glass with my nipples and water a third world country with my pussy. I need to get off. Do you want to watch me get off?”
There’s my girl. My crude, wildly beautiful, uninhibited woman. I nod to the other side of the shower, where there is a stone seat. She sidles past me, brushing her pink nipples on my stomach as she passes. I close the door of the shower, turn on the hot water to steam it back up a bit, and grab my dick. Lainey sits on the seat, tucks her heels beside her, and lets her knees fall open. She is deliciously wet and pink. I haven’t seen pussy, her pussy, in way too long. I want to kiss it, lick it, slide my thick dick inside it. I start stroking my cock, long deep thrusts as I think about fucking her. Leaning her head back against the glass, she pinches her nipples and then slides her hand down her flat stomach to her small clit and starts rubbing it. I wish my dick was rubbing it. I groan. “You like when I rub it like this?” she asks.
“I want to be the one rubbing it,” I growl. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Lainey. So beautiful. Finger yourself. I want to watch,” I say.
She does. She dips her middle finger into herself and lets it sink in slowly. Watching her finger disappear into her hot tightness, I let myself imagine my dick in its place. “I’m so tight, Cody,” she whispers. It’s steamy now and wisps of it wave in between us, causing condensation on the four walls of glass.
My dick is throbbing, and pre-cum is seeping onto my fist as I beat it. “How tight?” I ask, squinting through the steam to see her pussy eating her finger. She’s working her clit with her other hand, using small quick strokes. It’s just how she likes it. She’ll come fast and fucking hard if she keeps it up.
Her blue-eyed gaze meets mine. “Want to find out just how tight?” Yes. Yes. I’d give my life savings.
“Yes,” I say. “Please.” Manners go a long way, especially when a nice woman is about to let you feel how tight she is.
“Fingers first,” she orders. First? That means I get a second, too. And I almost come realizing it. I stop stroking my shaft immediately at the turn of events. I’m on my knees in front of her with my finger replacing hers quicker than you can say ‘home run’. She is so fucking tight.
“Your pussy is tight around my finger, Lainey. Can I try two?”
She nods, bites her lip, and spreads her legs farther. I flip my hand over and slide my pointer and middle finger in. It’s difficult. “You haven’t been properly fucked for a while,” I say.
“Not since you,” she replies, her eyes closed in pure bliss. I lean down because there’s no way I can avoid it and lick her clit. She cries out and holds my face to her pussy while I finger her and eat her out. She comes the second I begin applying pressure with my tongue. I feel her muscles tightening around my fingers as I stroke her G-spot.
“Fuck, that feels so good. I missed you,” she says, raising her hips up in an attempt to keep my fingers inside her. I kiss up her stomach, lick each nipple, and then tongue her neck up to her mouth. She kisses me greedily, sucking her wetness from my lips and tongue. Slowly I remove my fingers from her pussy. “You sit,” she says, pointing to her seat. She trades me places, looks me in the eyes, and straddles my lap, placing the head of my cock at the entrance of her sopping wet pussy.
Lainey bites her lip, tells me she loves me, and sits down on my dick.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Lainey
HE’S SO BIG and it’s been so long since I’ve had something this massive inside me. The paltry dildo I play with at home has nothing on Cody Ridge. It’s basically an orgasm meat stick. Lowering myself down onto him isn’t easy. I have to pause, wait for it to stretch out a little, and then drop down a little lower. Cody’s eyes are rolled back and his hands are planted firmly on my hips. He wants to pull me down, but he won’t—he’ll let me take my time.
“Your dick feels so good inside me,” I say, licking his neck and edging my way lower. I’m filled completely and he’s not all the way inside. I just sit down and relish the feeling of being consumed by him. By Cody Ridge. The first and only man I’ll ever love the way I’m supposed to. He leans over and places a tender kiss on my shoulder, just letting me be connected to him without moving. His dick throbs inside me, telling me what he truly wants.
I rise up and down again. He hisses in delight, a satiated smile transforming his face. “Yes. More of that,” he says. I give him more now that I’ve acclimated to his girth. I ride his glorious cock while admiring his muscles painted with tattoos and his fucking hot face, all the while bringing myself closer to an orgasm. Cody uses my hips now. He brings me up and down, using only his biceps at a pace that drives me wild. Too slow, yet not fast enough to send me over the edge. The steam from the shower causes the perfect amount of friction between our bodies. A little bit slippery, but not too wet.
“I’m going to come,” he says.
“Where do you want to come?” I ask, licking his neck.
“In your fucking mouth. I’m going to come in your mouth.” I ride his dick, rocking my hips several more strokes until Cody pulls me up and off him. I replace my pussy with my mouth. He grabs a fistful of my hair and pushes my head down over his cock until it’s down my throat. He comes in hot waves as he groans and growls, jutting his hips up with each hot burst of semen.
“You were always good at swallowing my dick,” he says, out of breath. “But never that good.”
I raise myself up, wipe my bottom lip with my thumb and pointer finger, and look him square in the eyes. “I need more. I was about to come,” I admit. He smiles, grabs me by the waist, turns me around so I’m facing away from him, and fucks me doggy style so hard that I’m sure the neighbors heard my orgasm. Cody comes again, deep inside me, saying my name like a prayer.
_______________
“So much for old-fashioned,” I murmur. We’re wrapped up in his sheets in his large bed.
“Doggy style is so old-fashioned, Lane. I mean, animals do it like that. I bet the first humans that had sex fucked doggy style. There’s your old-fashioned.”
I stroke his muscles, tracing his tattoos, my head against his chest. “It’s hard to go slow with you. We paused for over three years. That was our slow period. Don’t you feel like we should be making up for lost time? Even though I’m the one who did most of the wasting of time. You’re right about doggy style, though. Very old-fashioned.” He laughs and with my ear pressed against his skin I feel the rumble of his laughter all the way to my toes.
His chest has stilled and his breathing has evened. Content is how I feel in this moment, at ease with my choices and full of forgiveness and willingness to grant second and third chances. Not just because no one else can rock my world like Cody, but because I know this feeling inside of me is only sparked by him. I lied to myself with Dax. Our love was real, but it was different. It was tame and safe. The work it took to come to this realization should have been my first tip off that something wasn’t quite right. Love with Cody isn’t work. It took me six long months to develop the right mindset to be okay with that. It’s okay to be stupidly in love with someone, to want to sacrifice everything else because of said love. Maybe it’s not like that for some people, but it’s like that for us and I’m okay with it. Volatile, passionate love that shakes us to our core only comes along once in a lifetime. During my
time away, I soul-searched. Is this what I want? Will I ever truly be what he wants? Can he see past our rocky, and frankly, murderous decisions from days past? I’ll always be that woman, but now I’m more, I’m the woman free from my chains. No one will control me again nor use my love to destroy me. I’ll never wait with trepidation wondering when the other shoe will drop. I’ll never wait. Cody waited for me. More than just the six months, I realize. He’s waited for me for years.
“I never told you, but thank you for always waiting for me, Cody,” I whisper.
He strokes my hair. “It wasn’t too hard, Fast Lane. Especially because I was waiting for my forever.” I swallow down the lump of emotion in my throat, and perhaps a touch of guilt for the time I spent figuring this out. He drags his thumb across my bottom lip. “I hoped it would turn out like this. I wasn’t sure. After everything I’ve been through, waiting for you was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. No more pause button or lost time. This is it. I’m calling it. No referee needed.”
“Calling what?” I ask, as a tear sneaks out of the corner of my eye and falls onto his tanned, warm skin.
I glance up and his gaze flicks down to meet mine. “I’m calling this our time and space. Right here. Right now.”
“It is, you’re right. Guess it took a little while to get it right,” I say, laughing and crying at the same time. He sits up in the bed, bringing me with him.
He clears his throat and says, “And because I’m not wasting another second, I have something I want to give you.” My hand on his chest senses his heart hammering away, pumping overtime. Cody’s eyes are wide and questioning when I look at him. “It’s our time, Lane,” he says again. The emotion pouring from his gaze is enough to kill a woman not as strong as me. Still, it renders me speechless. I can only nod my head, like a small child.
The Crazy Good SEAL Series: Books 1-3 Page 81