Undesirable

by Laura Stapleton

  “All right,” Skeeter wiped his nose on his sleeve. “I can keep an eye out for Ma’s ghost, just in case she’s not there yet.”

  “You could do that, yes.”

  “Can I go tell the other boys to help me watch for her?”

  “Of course, but keep in mind her ghost might be at our new home waiting for us, all right?” Ellen patted his back, but the boy was already distracted when seeing the other children playing.

  “All right!” Skeeter ran off, headed toward his friends.

  When the boy was out of earshot, she asked Marie, “How else was I supposed to handle that? He thinks his mother is around here as a ghost. Pa is going to be so angry with me.”

  Marie tried to be diplomatic, keeping her voice free from the hostility she felt for the oldest Warren. “Then, maybe your father should have taken care of this himself. Instead, he has drunk himself sick every day and ignored his sons.” As soon as she’d said the words aloud, she covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry. I tried to not say that.”

  Ellen reached out to Litter Buster, who ran into her arms. “Good to know he’s not changed. I was worried.”

  Her friend’s choice of words reassured Marie and compelled her to ask, “How are you? Really?” Unable to resist comforting her friend, she hugged Ellen and her brother at the same time. “Did they hurt you?”

  The girl melted into Marie’s arms like a long lost daughter. “No, not at all. Del was there.”

  “Was he really? I’m so glad. You’ll have to tell me what happened. But wait until Jenny is with us because I know she’ll want to know as well.” She stepped back hoping their friend would forgo her boycott of Marie long enough to properly greet Ellen. Buster whined until she let him down. Once free, the child ran off to join his brother. They both smiled at the little boy, and Marie said, “I’m sure Adelard is telling Sam now. I’m so sorry about Lucy. Did you have to see them…?”

  Ellen shuddered at the memory. “Yes. They told us not to scream; she did, and they killed her without hesitation. After that, I was too scared to make a sound.”

  Imagining the scene gave Marie goose bumps and she shuddered. “You poor dear. How about you wait until you’re rested to say anything about this? The main thing is you’re safe and here with us. The boys are fine, and your father will sober up someday.”

  As if hearing them talk about him, Jack’s moan and yell for her rose incoherent above the fort’s usual busy sounds. Ellen’s voice rang with sarcasm. “It seems like he’s already started the process.”

  Patting her friend’s arm, Marie reassured her. “Don’t worry about the boys. They’re safe with me. Just get him healed up first.”

  “Thank you, Marie. Both you and Jenny are the best friends ever.” She paused at another yell from Jack.

  “I hear her! Ellen! Where are you? Get over here!” He stumbled over to her, head bleeding from a cut. “I fell out of the damned wagon. Where were you? My Lucy is dead, and you weren’t here to help me. I need a bucket.” He staggered away and started retching.

  Feeling ill herself, Marie swallowed while telling Ellen, “I need to let you take care of him. Good luck.”

  Ellen nodded before going for the requested bucket. “Thank you. I need every bit of luck possible.”

  Walking back to the crew’s wagons, Marie stopped in shock. Charles and Hester seemed to be waiting, Charles leaning against the wagon and his sister sitting on the tailgate. She did not want to approach. Moving slowly, she took a step back and caught her former husband’s eye. Their gazes met, and she grimaced before catching herself.

  “Hello, Marie.” He stood up straight as his sister hopped to her feet. “We’ve come to say goodbye.”

  “Oh. Had we not done so before now?”

  “Yes, but not permanently.”

  “I see. Very well, Charles, goodbye, and I hope California is all you’ve hoped it would be.” She held out her hand to shake, wanting to keep things formal.

  He reached for her hand and pulled her into his arms. “I’ll miss you, dearest.”

  How could words trigger a stomach illness, she wondered. Marie fought the urge to throw up on him. She eased out of his grip and tried to smile. “Well, I’m sure Hester will keep you company.”

  His sister sidled over and took his hand. “At last, you understand.”

  “Hess,” Charles warned.

  “Good-bye, dear former sister, and good luck with Granville or whoever will take you in.” She snuggled up to her brother. “That Joe character seems desperate enough. In case Sam doesn’t work out, of course.”

  The demonstration of affection between the two made the bile bubble up from her stomach. Fighting the bitter taste in her mouth, Marie faked a calm she didn’t feel. “We’ll see. I’m in no hurry to replace Charles and look forward to being just another part of the crew.”

  Hester leaned over to her brother. “She can’t replace you. Look at her brown skin, and that dress. Sam might use her for a while, but how soon do you think it will be until he passes her off to one of his men? They’ll hand her on down until Lefty is the only one left she’s not, well, you know.”

  Her former husband snickered, and Marie saw red. She wasn’t that sort of woman, and they knew it. Plus, Lefty was an excellent young man. Certainly not the last pick of any litter he was in. Beyond furious, she gritted her teeth. “You’re here to say goodbye, so goodbye and good riddance.” She glared at both of them as they exchanged a look. Afraid of what she might say next, she added, “Excuse me, I have chores to do.” Marie turned on her heel and went to the supply wagon. Listening for their departure, she reached in for a water jar. Her nose began its familiar sting, warning her about the tears welling in her eyes. She grabbed a dishrag to place across her face when done crying.

  Marie made her way out of the fort and down to the water’s rocky edge, fighting tears all the way. Others were around but not so close to seeing her cry. She found a steady rock to sit on and dipped the rag into the cool water. Scalding hot tears began running down her cheeks as if the gurgling river called a siren’s song to them. All the grief she’d been pushing aside to be cheery welled up in her heart. Losing the plantation, saying goodbye to loyal servants, the humiliation of her marriage, and finally having to rely on the mercy of Sam weighed like stones in her stomach. Her throat hurt with the tightness of silent keening for her former life as she silently sobbed. She folded the rag, not opening her eyes, and placed the cold press against her upper face. Some part of her felt how the hot tears sunk into the cotton. The chill soothed her and eased the sorrow still welling inside Marie. When thinking ahead to her future, all she saw was a black veil clouding the view. Sam loved her, and she wanted to cling to him, but she’d done the same after her father died and married Charles.

  “Marie? Are you all right?”

  Sam’s voice surprised her, and she let the washcloth fall. “Hello, yes, and you? Did you catch anything?” She filled the water jar as an excuse to hide her face.

  He walked around to her, tilting his head to better see her. “Something is wrong. You’ve been crying.”

  “Everything is fine.” She nodded at his string of fish. “You did well today.” Struggling to her feet, she accepted his hand for balance. “Let’s get back to camp, so we can start dinner.”

  “You can help me clean these and tell me why you were crying.”

  Hearing the worry in his voice, she pulled up a distraction for him. “Better that I say how Del and Ellen arrived this afternoon.”

  “Great! Are they all right? Neither was harmed?”

  She smiled, glad her tactic worked. “He looked all right from a distance. Ellen looked good. A little frayed around the edges, but not bad. The boys were happy to see her.”

  Sam nodded as they entered the fort’s walls. “I’ll bet. She’ll keep them better fed and cleaned.” Nearing the wagon area, he held out his fishing pole and day’s catch to her. “Take these while I go and learn more from Del and the comman
der. Don’t wait for dinner. We may be a while.”

  Doing as he requested, she carried everything to the wagons while he went off in the other direction. Seeing Joe starting a fire, Marie held up Sam’s fish. “I’ve never seen this sort of fish before? Are they any good?”

  Joe stood, taking them from her. “They’re the best you’ll ever eat, ma’am. Let me have the pail, and I’ll get the boys to help me clean them.”

  Giving him the bucket, she asked, “What can I do?”

  He grinned at her. “Start fixing the rest of the supper.”

  “Mr. Granville said he and Del would be late.”

  “I expected as much. The soldiers will want every detail Du Boise can remember about the kidnappers. Make enough for them, but keep it to the side. It might be breakfast for them.” He nodded before walking down to the river with the fish and a pail.

  Facing the open gate, she stoked the fire. Marie glanced up to see Lucky and Arnold join Joe before he left the courtyard. She marveled at how Sam’s men seemed to know when and how to do everything necessary in a wagon party. Though she thought while getting the dry goods together for dinner, she’d learned a few things too. Soon white biscuits cooked in a Dutch oven, and the dried peas she’d soaked overnight simmered in a small cook pan. Knowing three men would make short work of cleaning a few fish, she set out a frying pan to heat.

  The men arrived with a bucket full of filets just as the pan caused drops of water to bounce on its surface. Lefty spoke first. “Dinner already smells good, ma’am. I’m partial to peas.”

  “Good. I didn’t know for sure, and I’ve not had them in a while.” She stood. “I can set out some blankets for us to sit on while we cook.”

  “Thank you, ma’am,” said Joe. He began laying out the fish, the meat sizzling when it hit the metal.

  Marie started to pull out blankets, Lefty, Arnold, and Lucky beside her, each waiting for their turns. She carried everything closer to the campfire. Lefty followed her with his journal, Arnold his current book, and Lucky brought his bugle and polishing cloth. She smiled at them. Each man waited while she placed their blankets in a stack. One by one they sat and began work on their projects. She settled in next to Joe and checked the biscuits. A quick stir of the peas showed they cooked nicely. The wind brought a scent of the cooking fish, and she smiled.

  Glancing up at her, Joe returned her grin. “Smelling good, isn’t it?”

  She nodded. “Very much.”

  “Looks like I’m just in time.”

  They all turned at Sam’s voice. “Didn’t take as long as I expected. They’re more interested in Adelard’s statement. I just corroborated his testimony and was a character witness.”

  “They do believe him, don’t they, that he saved Ellen’s life?” asked Marie.

  “Yes. Him bringing her back alive gave him a lot of credibility.”

  “Did Du Boise tell you the whole story?” asked Lucky.

  Sam shrugged. “I heard most of it before they had me leave.” He took a plate from Joe and gave it to Marie.

  She wanted to hear everything he knew about what happened to Ellen. Almost getting to her feet, she urged him, “So tell us, if you can.”

  “It’s pretty simple. The chief’s son had her taken and would have brought Lucy along as a prize if she’d not screamed. They had Ellen dressed as the bride when Del rode in and claimed her as his own.” Each man had food before Sam settled in to eat his own serving.

  Her jaw dropped when realizing what that meant. “They’re not married, are they?”

  “In the Shoshone’s eyes, they are now.”

  Wondering how Ellen might free herself from Del’s partnership, she asked, “Is that official in our country?”

  “Not legally if the couple doesn’t get a license.” In between bites, he added, “Plenty of people don’t out here. Too much trouble. A piece of paper isn't necessary for two people to work on a homestead together.”

  Marie raised her eyebrows when he looked at her. She didn’t like the gleam in his eye. “I’d still prefer everything be legal. Some day all this will be part of the United States, and I think most women would like the protection a valid marriage provides.”

  “As would most men, I expect. Don’t worry. You’re preaching to the choir on this matter.” He held out his empty plate for her to take. “A common law marriage is fine, but I’d prefer a legally binding contract saying my wife is mine.”

  The men snickered or chuckled under their breath. Marie gave him a grin, knowing he tried to get her goat. “Since you’re bereft of a wife and I prefer clean breakfast dishes, I’ll be glad to wash up this evening. Can’t have a big strong man like you doing women’s work.” She got to her feet, picking up the dinner pail and adding his empty plate to her own. All the others reached over for her to take their empty dishes, too, each one giving her thanks as she piled them in the wash pail. “I’ll be back for the pans, Joe.”

  “No need, ma’am. Mr. Granville and the boys want to help you by taking care of them for you. Good practice for when they get married.”

  Lefty and Arnold talked over each other, each denying they’d ever be under a woman’s thumb. Marie smiled at how Lucky just grinned and shook his head. She couldn’t see Sam since he sat with his back facing her. “Very well. I’ll get started on this, then.”

  Sam stood and followed her, saying, “It’s almost sunset. Let’s all get started, so we’re back before they close the gate for the night.”

  She slowed a little to let him catch up to her. “Thank you for helping. I’d not noticed how late it had become. What happens when they close the gates, and we’re outside the walls?”

  “They’d let us in, of course. The Army doesn’t want to lose civilians to Indian attacks.”

  “I tend to agree.” She saw Ellen walking with Jenny and the Allens. She waved to all of them, Ellen being the only one returning her greeting.

  “Did they just snub you?” asked Sam. “How dare they?”

  “Sam, it’s all right.” She put a hand on his arm. “They’re just maintaining a distance for Jenny’s sake. It’s not proper for a single woman to associate with me.”

  “The hell it is.”

  When he started towards the Allens, she held onto his arm and pulled him a little away. “Sam! You can’t say or do anything. You know they’re right. Please, leave it alone for Jenny’s sake. Mine too. I’d be mortified if they were forced to acknowledge me.”

  He stopped resisting and let her lead him to the river. “Since you insist, I’ll let it go. This makes a good case for us getting married.”

  Laughing, she shook her head. “No, I’d like better reasons than that.” She gave him a grin, knowing he’d not argue with her so close to his men. They washed as if long used to each other’s motions. She smiled when giving him the last clean fork. All the others had washed their one item and left.

  “Marie, why were you crying earlier today? Please tell me.”

  “It was nothing.” She straightened, and he stood with her. Continuing before he could begin arguing, she added, “Very much nothing, just Hester being her selfish little self.”

  His eyes narrowed as they walked back to the camp. “Do I need to talk to both of them?”

  She laughed. “You’re just spoiling for a fight, aren’t you? There’s no need. I just needed a good cry and indulged myself. I really do feel much better.” They entered the yard as the gates closed behind them. “Let’s worry about something more significant, like anything but the Warrens.”

  The first notes of Taps wafted to them on the late evening air. Sam leaned in and said, “That just leaves everything else in the world.”

  Marie stifled a giggle as they faced the flag as it was lowered. The entire fort stayed silent except for noises by various animals. The last notes faded, and activity resumed. She playfully punched Sam on the arm. “So much for us being sober during such a ceremony.”

  He gave her a little boy grin. “What can I say? I like se
eing you smile.”

  At the wagon, she put the dishes next to the pots and pans already put in there by the others. The fire didn’t burn bright enough, and the new moon kept the night dark. She yawned, vowing to pick up her sewing tomorrow or the next day.

  Marie straightened out her bedroll, glancing across the campfire to see Sam doing the same. She wanted to sleep in the wagon for propriety’s sake, but the air already held a nippy cold to it. She snuggled in under her blanket, almost missing Charles’ warmth. Thinking of him led to thinking of Hester. She squeezed her eyes, giving her head a slight shake. No more stewing over either one of them. She took a deep breath and began counting backward from fifty and soon fell asleep.

  Revelry played by the fort’s bugler woke her, and she stifled a curse at the noise. She’d have to see about helping the young man misplace his bugle for just one morning. She heard angry mutterings, recognized Lucky’s voice, and laughed out loud. It served him right for greeting the days with his own bugle as he had for so long. “They always say better to give than receive.”

  Lucky punched his pillow and growled as the others laughed. “They would be correct, boss.”

  Sam was the first to sit up. “All right, enough kidding around. Now that everyone is accounted for, I’m eager to get home.”

  “Sir, are the Warrens going with us?” asked Lefty.

  “No. I spoke with Warren early yesterday. They’re headed south with another group.”

  “We’re waiting for Adelard, aren’t we?”

  “I’m checking on that, next.” He put his bedding up and left them, headed toward the commander’s office.

  Marie saw the flag had been raised, and now the gates slid open to allow the day’s activities. She put away her own bedding as Joe handed the pail to Arnold for water. She marveled how they all communicated without a word. Familiarity didn’t just breed contempt, it bred a routine, too. Not rushing around while waiting on the twins left her idle. She helped Lefty fold his blankets, smiling at the kind young man when they were finished. “Having two makes the work more fun, doesn’t it?”