Voyage

by E M Gale

  ‘That would be why the UESF lets them in then.’

  “And surely you knew that there are all sorts of human-alien cross-breeds walking around?”

  ‘Shit. Uh… of course I know that. My future self would know that.’

  I laughed. “Do you call them cross-breeds to their faces?”

  He shook his head. “It’s just a biology term.”

  ‘Right.’

  “And anyway, I knew that, I just didn’t know what the word ‘species’ meant in this context,” I said, waving my hand around awkwardly.

  ‘Yeah, sort of. Have I gotten away with that? Clarke, you really need more practice in keeping your mouth shut.’

  “Ah, I see the problem,” said Cleckley knowingly.

  ‘You do?’

  “The word ‘species’ has changed meaning since you were studying human biology.”

  ‘Huh?’

  “Biologically, two members of a different species can’t produce viable offspring–”

  ‘Are half-orcs infertile then?’

  “–but socially, the word ‘species’ means aliens from a different planet. Regardless of the fact that most can interbreed, and technically, orcs are a type of Homo sapiens sapiens. The main exterior differences are their colouration and teeth, and those are just superficial changes. The only other oddity about them is their tolerance to orcian coffee, but as it doesn’t grow on Earth, there’s no way humans would have evolved a tolerance to it.”

  ‘Weird.’

  I smiled. “Why do people have to keep changing the meanings of words? I can’t remember them all.”

  ‘Yeah, that sounded bicentenarianish. Maybe I should try to fake senility next.’

  “It must be hard to remember what a word meant when,” he said with a strange look in his eye.

  ‘Does he mean that because I’m an old vampire? Or in disguise as one? Still, it’s an odd way of phrasing that statement.’

  “Surely you mean ‘what a word means now’?” I said, with a shaky grin.

  ‘Stupid language. It’s nice everyone speaks English in the future, but why the hell can’t they speak normal English from two hundred years ago? I have real issues with the slang–I mean, there’s Japanese words, Chinese, Russian and orcish words which are all part of English now, and I’ve missed the years where they became common parlance.’

  “Yes,” he said, nodding to himself. “Can I ask a favour?”

  “What?” I said cautiously. I hated questions like that. No one with any sense would agree to a favour before knowing what it was, so why did people expect others to?

  “I was hoping to watch you run through the moves?”

  ‘Which moves?’

  “Eh?” I asked.

  “The sword fighting. I presume that’s what you were doing. You do have a sword on your knees, you must practise, surely?” He smiled benignly and tilted his head.

  ‘Well, yes.’

  “Why do you want to watch someone doing kata? It’s fun to do, but probably really boring to watch,” I remarked.

  “Oh, you enjoy it?”

  “Yeah, I kinda don’t think, I just feel the rhythm of movement. I like it.” I paused to think for a moment. “It reminds me of dancing in some ways, of long-distance running in others.”

  He nodded. “Long-distance running, in London?”

  “Well, you know, there are parks in London.”

  He raised his eyebrow.

  “Or were,” I added to cover.

  “There were last time I was there,” he said sounding amused.

  ‘Phew, not a time travel giveaway. I don’t think my future self goes back to Earth much.’

  “Anyway, I used to run around them a few times.”

  He was looking calm and engaged.

  “Why do you want to watch me anyway?” I asked.

  “Well, I want to see how a vampire moves. I thought this might be a good chance.”

  I nodded at that.

  ‘Well, Clarke, he’s not trying to cut you up or anything and do you really think that you’re giving away your tactics by letting Cleckley see you swing a sword? All the marines have seen you fight and they are far more likely to be a threat than Cleckley. Plus, he’s a doctor, he won’t even understand what he’s seeing.’

  “OK then,” I said. After all, I hadn’t finished my workout.

  I got up and stood in the centre of the room. Still, I had a healthy paranoia. There was no reason why he needed to see the kata I’d invented myself. So I went through a few of the kenjitsu kata I knew, not too fast either, at about a medium pace, concentrating on getting the moves perfect.

  I stopped after I’d done a few. Cleckley looked impressed.

  “Don’t you dare say, ‘Beautiful, Florentina’,” I muttered to myself.

  “What was that?” said Cleckley.

  “Ah, nothing. So vampires are fast, no?”

  He smiled at that. “You seem to be quicker than you were when I tested your reflexes,” he said.

  ‘Oh? Well, I guess I’ve had more practice since then.’

  I shrugged. “I have practised those moves over and over again.”

  He nodded. “It would make evolutionary sense that vampires are faster than normal humans.”

  ‘Eh? What is he talking about?’

  He could see my confusion.

  “Predators are faster than their prey,” he said. I bristled.

  “I don’t like that sort of terminology,” I said darkly. “I don’t prey on anyone,” I shook my head. “Neither do I feed on them.”

  “Ah. Would that be how Mr. Price refers to it, then?”

  I looked at him in surprise.

  “Uh… who said anything about Price?”

  “Do you miss him?” asked Cleckley.

  I regarded him warily.

  “Why would I?” I said, communicating a verbal shrug.

  “Well… because you were obviously sleeping with him.”

  “What? How did you know?”

  Cleckley smiled.

  ‘Oh, he thinks he’s oh so clever for figuring that out.’

  “Well, let’s see.” He grinned at me. “A vampire comes on board ship; the first day he insults you in front of your friends, but the very next day you give the most fawning description of him to the major that I have ever heard from anyone outside their teens.” He laughed.

  I raised an eyebrow at that.

  “But after that first night, you’re not seen speaking to him again in public. Which means that either you’re banging away in private and then had a huge bustup about something, or, knowing your type–and I don’t mean vampires here–you’re making up long enough to have violent sex before falling out again.”

  “Wha…?”

  ‘When did he learn to read my mind?’

  “How the hell did you know that?” I asked, utterly astounded.

  Cleckley chuckled again. “You and Mr. Price may be vampires, Clarke, but both of you still act and think like humans.”

  ‘Great. He’s not a doctor, but a mind-reader. That is unless Price told him all about it, except there’s no way he’d do that, I’m sure.’

  “Plus, half an hour after you made a joke, Mr. Price walked into the bar and made the same joke. And you knew he spoke Japanese.”

  ‘I suppose it doesn’t really matter if he knows. It was only a secret to prevent my friends asking questions about vampirism.’

  “Actually I didn’t know he spoke Japanese.” I sighed. “How many other people know about… uh, us?”

  ‘And I thought I was oh so subtle. Bloody hell, Clarke.’

  “Define ‘know’,” said Cleckley.

  “Um…” I waved my hands around vaguely. “Know, you know…”

  ‘How do you define ’know’?’

  “If you mean how many people have seen what I saw and put it together? Just the major. If you mean how many people are assuming that you were sleeping with him either because you’re both vampires and they’re known to be
promiscuous, or because you’re you, then probably all the marines as well.”

  ‘Heh.’

  “Great, and I was trying to be subtle. Do you think anyone… Do you think my friends know?”

  Cleckley shook his head. “I doubt it. To be honest, the main piece of evidence is that you are both vampires. And since they don’t know that…”

  I nodded, my mind drifting away from the subject at hand. “He’s so annoying.”

  “Who?” asked Cleckley. I threw myself to the ground and leant against the wall and started gnawing on my knuckle.

  “Price. He’s a stuck-up, crazy idiot.”

  Cleckley chuckled. “Oh, he’s not so polite and reserved in private then?”

  I shook my head. “Not in the slightest. In public he’s just contemptuous. In private he’s…”

  ‘–tender, violent, scary.’

  I shook my head at this point.

  “Argh!” I ran my hands through my hair, pulling it all out of place. “I don’t know quite how he got under my skin so much.”

  “With his teeth, I guess,” Cleckley muttered with a grin. I glared at him. “Sorry, Clarke.”

  “And I don’t even like him!” I wailed.

  Cleckley nodded at that, understanding, although I didn’t think I did.

  “He’s such a idiot,” I said with a sigh.

  Cleckley laughed at that. “Yes, vampires are just like humans.”

  “Well, what did you expect? We are humans. Just… different.” I replayed the last five minutes of conversation in my head. “And, anyway, vampires don’t bang vampires, they bite them. Well, and then bang them.”

  He laughed again. So I glared at him.

  “And that, by the way, is why I am interested in vampire biology, rather than xenobiology.”

  I frowned at him in confusion.

  “They are the only creatures in the known universe that have sex by biting each other.”

  ‘Oh.’

  “Uh-huh,” I said noncommittally.

  “And the only creatures that can survive death,” he added, with a curious look.

  “I prefer ‘people’ to ‘creatures’. We can speak and move and think, you know.”

  “OK. It’s also thought that vampires can communicate telepathically.” He was watching me closely.

  ‘Oh, the mind-meld thing? It’s great, unless you don’t want to talk to him.’

  “Some people say that vampires have some sort of group or hive mind,” he said.

  I raised an eyebrow at him.

  ‘More dumb rumours?’

  “But that doesn’t make too much sense. Despite you and Price both making the same joke, you did seem to be separate characters.”

  I looked at him in amazement. “Obviously we have separate characters. He’s an annoying idiot and I am not.”

  Cleckley looked a little embarrassed. “Well, I don’t put much faith in the telepathy theories,” he mumbled.

  “If we could communicate telepathically, why would we talk to each other?”

  “You didn’t much.”

  “Ah, well, that was because we had nothing much to say to each other in public. It would have given everything away if he started flirting with me or I started yelling at him. But we did speak to each other, you know.”

  Cleckley nodded his head.

  ‘I think he believes me.’

  “You see, only humans seem to become vampires,” he said.

  I nodded at this, even though I didn’t know that. It hadn’t yet occurred to me to ask the question.

  “And since vampires are so different from the other humanoid species it makes me wonder if there’s something special about humans.”

  ‘Ah, there’s that light in his eyes again. He’s highly interested in this stuff. Like he was with the stuff about where humanoids originated in the galaxy. Oh, I see.’

  “Something special like being the originator species of all the other humanoids, for example?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Well?”

  ‘Am I supposed to know the answer, then?’

  “Damned if I know. I’m not a geneticist.”

  He looked disappointed.

  “Look, surely it’s easy to tell. Just compare the genes of all the species and look for the one with the biggest variety. That’ll be the one closest to the original species, right?”

  Cleckley sighed. “It’s been done. There’s not much in it.”

  I nodded.

  There was a quick rap-rap on the door and then Rob burst in.

  “Hi, Clarke,” he said, smiling, and then, noticing Cleckley, he frowned.

  “Gah, why does everyone know where to find me?”

  “There are eight sims rooms but you use the same room each time,” said Cleckley. “They are identical, you know.”

  “I like this one, I always use this one, I always have used this one. When I fall into routines I don’t like breaking them if I don’t have to.”

  Cleckley raised his eyebrows at that. “Do you feel the need to switch lights on and off certain numbers of times?”

  ‘What is he getting at?’

  “No.” I opened my mouth to add ‘I don’t switch lights on generally’ but I remembered Rob was in the room and I didn’t want him to pick up a reference to my fantastic night vision. I turned to him. “So, Rob.” He looked annoyed. “What’s up with my favourite great engineer today?”

  He smiled at that.

  ‘Well, that cheered him up then.’

  “I was just looking for you.” He glared at Cleckley. “Sorry if I interrupted anything,” he added slightly acidly. I nodded. He gestured at us, giving away his irritation. “Carry on with what you were talking about,” he said, taking a seat on the floor.

  ‘Well… we can’t. Can we?’

  Cleckley was quiet and Rob was quiet.

  ‘Oh, what is going on here?’

  I stood up.

  “Are you two just going to sit there and say nothing?” I exclaimed. Cleckley looked amused, but he didn’t act like he had work to do elsewhere.

  ‘Bloody hell.’

  I sighed.

  ‘Well, this is my exercise room, there might well be seven more, but I like this one and I’m not going to leave it just for them.’

  I got up, attached the heavy weights to my wrists, ankles and waist and dialled them up to one of the heaviest settings I had tried.

  ‘At least a heavy weight will make it easier for me to not give anything away to Rob. Hmm, I wonder how heavy a weight I can lift?’

  “I’m not leaving my lovely exercise room just ’cos you’re both sitting there being quiet,” I said.

  They still said nothing. Rob glared at Cleckley, who looked amused and ignored him. So I started to run through the kenjitsu katas in order, very slowly, for the weight training and to make sure that I didn’t give anything away to Rob. I was aware of them, still there watching me for some reason.

  ‘Cleckley is probably taking notes about vampiric strength or some such thing, but why is Rob here?’

  I finished running through the entire sequence twice and stared at them both. Rob looked impressed.

  “Is this the sort of thing you’ve been learning then?” he asked. I eyed him cautiously whilst I dialled down and removed the weights, letting them land on the floor with a thunk. He didn’t look like he was building up to an anti-mercenary spiel.

  “Yeah, I said I did sword stuff,” I commented, unpinning my hair. It fell down past my shoulders, extra curly as a result of being pinned up all day. “You guys are weird, you know,” I said as I finger-combed my hair to try to get it under control.

  “Why do you say that?” asked Cleckley.

  “Why would anyone want to watch someone run through kata?”

  “Because you do it so elegantly, Clarke,” said Cleckley with a grin.

  ‘This is odd, he doesn’t normally flirt with me.’

  I frowned at him. Rob was frowning too and Cleckley looked amused.

&n
bsp; “Well…” I gave them both odd looks. “I’m going to shower. You two can have my sims room if you want. Knock yourselves out.”

  “Are you planning to go to the bar later?” asked Rob, jumping up to his feet.

  “Yeah, why not. It’d be out of character not to.” I grinned and headed up to my quarters.

  ‘I have no idea what they are up to. Cleckley probably hung around to see how a vampire moved, but why does Rob want to waste his free time watching someone exercise?’

  Coming out of the shower, I folded my legs up under me on the bed and flicked through my notepad.

  ‘I guess now is as good a time as any to find out who this Kuj Kuz-aj is. Let’s see… Kuj Kuz-aj, what a damn stupid name. I think Kujjie is easier to pronounce.’

  ‘Ah, found him.’

  ‘‘Notorious space pirate’. ‘Scourge of the outer edge’.’

  ‘They still use words like scourge then?’

  ‘Oh, dear, it seems I’ve managed to befriend one of the most notorious pirates in the galaxy whilst travelling on a military ship. Oops, that’s not going to be viewed as a good thing. I just hope it wasn’t him behind that Kreegle pirate attack on the ship. Surely not–since he knew I was carrying something for him, why would he attack me? And anyway, if they knew that ‘vampire Clarke’ was on the ship they might have sent more people.’

  ‘Is the stuff I’m carrying for him a trap? I mean, it’s possible that he offloaded something onto me that would get me into trouble, so that he could call in the police or space force or whoever is responsible for controlling piracy out here. But why? What possible reason could he have to do that?’

  The Garlic Trap

  I left the bar earlyish, headed back to my room, and fell asleep in the hope that I could wake up earlier. I woke up at the usual time in the middle of the graveyard shift and cursed my tiredness. Two cups of coffee and I was ready. I liberated the garlic from its hiding place.

  ‘Isn’t it odd that Price didn’t ask me why I had garlic in my room? Still, as he wasn’t brought up in the twentieth century he might not suffer from the erroneous belief it’s harmful to vampires.’

  I wandered down to the docking bay with a clove of it and put it just inside the door of the room with the hidden weapons. Now, if anyone came down here and went into the weapons room, they would tread on the garlic, and I would have an early warning that my theft had been discovered; I would be able to smell the crushed garlic on the shoes of anyone who had been in the room as they headed up to my quarters.