Rebel in a Small Town
Page 18
At the SUV, Gladys buckled the little boy into his seat. Zeke’s eyes were heavy, and his hand reached for the plush puppy strapped to the side of the seat. Once behind the wheel, Gladys fastened her seat belt and waited for Amanda to do the same.
“You two have a nice evening,” she said to Mara, then rolled up the window before backing down the driveway.
Mara watched as the SUV disappeared down the street. “I think my son has been kidnapped.”
“Our son. And I think that would technically be babysitter’s interference, since that is your grandmother behind the wheel and you’re staying at her house while you’re here.”
“Is that really a thing? Babysitter’s interference?”
“No.” James shook his head. “Mostly because parents don’t usually balk at a grandmother babysitting for a couple of hours.” He brushed his hand against her elbow. “And we could use the time to talk.”
Mara glanced at the road, but the taillights of the SUV had disappeared. She followed him into the backyard. James pointed to one of the reclining lawn chairs, grabbed two bottles of water from the cooler and sat in the chair beside her. He’d have liked another beer, but he wanted to be sober for this conversation.
“I’m helping the crew clean up at the day care tomorrow. So that they can start on the new building next week.”
“Collin mentioned that.”
“After, we’re meeting at the Slope. Wednesday night darts, but on Friday.” The sun sank farther behind the trees, cooling the air nicely. A light breeze blew through the oak trees along his property line. Not too much longer and the fireworks would start. “You should come. With me.” Why did he feel like he was seventeen again with those five little words?
That first weekend in Jefferson City, things had flowed naturally from surprise at seeing her to a quick drink that led to dinner, then to her hotel room.
Asking her to darts shouldn’t have been a bigger deal than that night, but somehow it was. He took a long drink of water, but the liquid did nothing to calm the fire in his throat.
“Do you really think that is a smart idea? You know how the gossip mill works.”
“Maybe I don’t care how it works.”
Mara fiddled with the label on her bottle, tearing one corner free, then gently working the rest of it off in one long sheet. “We can’t do this.”
“Play darts?”
“Fall into old patterns.”
“We’ve never played darts before.”
She turned to look at him, her blue eyes dark in the evening light. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do.” He just didn’t care. He knew he should have cared. Two days ago he’d cared. Hell, earlier this morning he’d cared what people would think once the word got around about him and Mara. About Zeke. Somewhere between his conversation with his parents at Bud’s and tonight with all their friends and family around, he’d stopped caring. He wanted to spend time with Zeke, definitely. But more than that, he wanted to be with her. “We aren’t kids, Mara. What other people think of us doesn’t matter. Not compared to what we know about the situation we’re in.”
“And what situation is that?”
He reached for her hand, rubbing his thumb across the smooth skin of her wrist. “We had clandestine weekends for three years. We have a son. We’re now in the same town at the same time, and neither of us is attached to anyone else.”
“You want to have an affair? In Slippery Rock?” Her jaw dropped. “That is not responsible. I’m leaving in—”
“And I’m not leaving. We both know where we stand.”
“James.” She shook her head. “That would be crazy.”
“Maybe it’s time I did something a little bit crazy.”
“You don’t do anything crazy.”
“I did once.” He wasn’t proud of what he’d done on graduation night, but he’d paid his penance for it.
“And look what happened,” she said.
“I sent anonymous checks to the school transportation fund. You left town.”
“Because if I wasn’t here, they would never think to ask you questions. Plausible deniability.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t have to. I was leaving anyway. I just moved up the timetable. Wait, did you say you sent anonymous checks?”
“Of course. The school borrowed money to get the buses back into service quickly. I sent donations every quarter to pay them back.”
Mara blinked at him. “When Cannon hired me, I got a signing bonus and sent the whole thing to the school. For the transportation fund.” She laughed. “I should have known you would find a responsible way to right the situation.”
She’d not only left town to take the spotlight off him but also repaid his debt. “I didn’t ask you to do that, either.”
“What else was I going to do? If I’d dropped the whole senior prank thing, like my brother and the others tried to get me to do, you would never have gone with me. You wouldn’t have gotten caught up in the moment.”
“It wasn’t your fault. Letting the air out of the tires was my idea. I wanted to do something crazy, just one crazy thing, before I lost my chance.”
Mara linked her fingers with his. “See what impulsive gets you? You’re the responsible one. I’m the impulsive one. Those are our roles. Meeting you guys at darts would be...switching roles. That didn’t end so well last time.”
“You think it was responsible to walk away in Nashville,” he said.
“Of course.”
“You switched the roles in Nashville. I’m switching them here.”
A loud boom sounded in the distance, and the first firework lit up the sky in a shower of green and purple sparkles.
He’d convinced himself it was the responsible thing to do, letting her walk away in Nashville. Now, he could see that had been a rash, impulsive move. Made out of hurt and anger at her. James didn’t like to make the same mistakes twice, but this time it was he who would switch the roles, and he wasn’t doing it out of fear.
He was doing it because he couldn’t imagine not being this close to Mara without being physically close to her, as well.
Another boom sounded, and the sky over the lake was lit brilliant white. Her blue eyes were worried, and there was a cute little line between her brows.
“I know you’re leaving. You know I’m staying. What’s the harm if we spend some time together before that happens?”
* * *
THE HARM WAS that she was already finding it hard to keep their roles separate, and they’d barely spent any time alone. There was Zeke to consider. There was her family to consider. There was James’s future as the sheriff to consider.
For the first time in her life, Mara wanted to consider all the options. To weigh every potential consequence before acting. If she’d done that in Jefferson City or any other place they’d met before Nashville, things would be so different between them.
“The harm is to Zeke. The harm is to your career. What happens when people start to talk about us? This is small-town America, James, where people still salute the flag and go to church on Sundays and attend every parade. No one is going to elect a sheriff with ties to a criminal.”
“You’re no criminal.”
“Not to you. Not to my family. But you know as well as I do that there are more CarlaAnns in Slippery Rock than there are Gladys Tylers or Mama Hazels. People like CarlaAnn are vindictive, and they have long memories. I can’t be the reason you don’t get elected.”
“Wow, that’s a little insulting.”
“It’s the truth.” Another boom sounded, startling her. James watched her expression in the flashes of light, and she hoped he couldn’t see through her bravado. Yes, she was worried about his career. More than that, she was worried
about what it meant that she wanted to say yes. She wanted to say yes now more than any other time in her life.
“If the people in town are stupid enough to not elect me because of pranks from our high school days, I don’t want to be their sheriff.” His gut twisted as he said the words. He wanted to be sheriff—he wanted it for himself—but he wanted to get the position honestly, and hiding Mara or Zeke felt wrong. “We have a kid. We also have chemistry together, and I’m not saying this at all the right way, but as long as the town is going to talk, why shouldn’t we give them something real to talk about?”
Mara sighed. “Sweet words, Calhoun. You’re a real sweet talker.”
“Well, as long as I’m on a roll, I’ll say this. I like being with you. I like talking to you, and I like having sex with you. I don’t plan on having that sex when Zeke is in the same room, so x him out of the equation. I don’t plan on having sex with you in the middle of the courthouse square, either, or in the farmers’ market or in the middle of the lake. People are going to talk one way or the other, so while the fireworks show is finishing up, why don’t you think about how you’d like to spend the time you’re in town? You want to spend it thinking about all the things we could be doing with one another or actually doing those things? Worrying about the people who are talking about you, about us, or telling them to screw off because you have your own life to live?”
He released her hand, but didn’t leave the chair beside her. He was close enough that she could feel his heat, and it seemed hotter than usual. Maybe because of the annoyed speech he’d just made.
Mara folded her hands in her lap and tried to focus on the display lighting the night sky. The blues and greens and purples and whites all blended into a kaleidoscope that hid the stars. It was beautiful.
James might be right that people would gossip no matter what the two of them were doing, but that didn’t mean she had to fall right into bed with him. She needed to be responsible here.
She needed...
God, she needed him. Or she wanted him. Mara couldn’t be sure which was the stronger emotion, and she thought maybe it didn’t matter. James was right about the chemistry thing; the two of them had that working in their favor.
She tapped her foot against the grass. Chemistry was not responsible.
Paying her bills, that was responsible. Repaying the school, responsible. Walking away from him in Nashville had been fear-based but also responsible. She hadn’t been ready for the feelings she felt for him. Hadn’t been certain what, if anything, he felt for her. She had still been hiding from the feelings of abandonment by her parents.
The Mara she was today resulted because she had walked away from him in Nashville. She’d been responsible.
A series of booms sounded, signaling the end of the fireworks display.
Mara swallowed.
She didn’t want him to drive her to the orchard, not just yet. It was selfish, but she wanted to stay here, sitting with him on the back lawn, watching the lake. She wanted to pretend, just for a little while, that this was where she belonged.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE LAST OF the fireworks faded into the night sky, leaving the backyard in a blanket of darkness. In the distance, he could see smoke from the displays, but the breeze kept it moving toward the middle of the water instead of inland.
Mara hadn’t said a word since he laid everything out for her. Hadn’t moved a muscle since she folded her hands in her lap a few minutes before. He knew because, while she sat rigidly watching the end of the display, he had been watching her. Waiting for her to throw caution to the wind, the way she always did.
Then he could take her inside and feel her body against his again. He could feed the flames of attraction he’d been trying to ignore since he saw her between the revolving door at Mallard’s. Responsible? Not even a little bit. And he didn’t care.
“James? The absolutely most responsible thing we can do is drive out to the orchard.”
Damn. James clenched his jaw, prepared to take his argument to another level. One that involved his lips on hers until she agreed with him. He would use any persuasion he had to until she admitted what she wanted.
Until she admitted that she still wanted him.
She was being stubborn and scared. Stubborn fit her, but scared didn’t. Mara was one of the bravest people he knew.
“I don’t want to be responsible.” Her words were quiet amid the sound of the cicadas buzzing under the trees.
James’s mouth went dry when she stood and pulled her loose tank top over her head. She kicked her navy flip-flops from her feet and unbuttoned the denim capris, sliding them over her hips. Under them, she wore a bright red bikini.
“I’m going for a midnight swim, if you’d like to join me,” she said and started for the shoreline.
“It isn’t midnight,” he reminded her.
Mara shrugged. “Details.”
James tossed his T-shirt to the side as he followed. At the water’s edge, he slipped off his flip-flops. The water was shallow in this area, but it dropped off quickly. Mara dived beneath the still water and surfaced several yards from shore.
“The water’s perfect,” she said, moving her arms in half circles, treading water.
James splashed water in Mara’s direction. He dived beneath the surface, swimming under the water until his fingers brushed against her legs. He surfaced and shook his head to get the water out of his eyes.
“This is not responsible,” she said as if trying to remind him. Or maybe she was reminding herself. James couldn’t be sure.
“Responsibility is overrated,” he said, then wrapped his arms around her and pressed his mouth to hers as he pulled her to him.
The water was warm, surrounding them like the most comfortable of cocoons. He had Mara in his arms, really in his arms, for the first time in two years. That kiss outside the B and B didn’t count because it had been fueled by anger. If he hadn’t kissed her, he’d have throttled her.
Tonight all he wanted to do was kiss her, and so he did.
Their legs tangled together in the water.
“This isn’t much of a swim,” he said.
“Cardio is cardio. We’ll just have to work a little harder to get our heart rates up.” She was close to him, so close he could feel her heat in the water, and that familiar sizzle shot through his body.
Damn, but it was a good thing he could stop reminding himself that sizzling with Mara was off-limits.
“We’re in about eight feet of water right now. We got cardio covered just staying above the surface.”
Mara put her hand against his chest. “I’d rather not drown tonight, and if you kiss me again like that, drowning is definitely an option. We should head back in.”
“Mara,” he said as his legs brushed against hers, “until fifteen minutes ago, this was not part of my plan.”
“Mine, either,” she said as her arms circled his neck again. “If we both regret this in the morning, we can pretend it never happened.”
James was absolutely positive he wouldn’t regret sleeping with Mara in the morning, and there was no way he could pretend it never happened. “I’ve never regretted a single moment spent with you. That goes for before we were hooking up and after.”
She smiled in the moonlight, and his chest squeezed. “Me, either.”
James kissed her, gently at first, getting a feel for her. She tasted sweet, like the strawberry shortcake Mama Hazel had brought to dinner. The feelings the kiss brought, however, were anything but sweet. The air between them seemed to sizzle, her arms tightened around his neck, and James let go.
The other kisses had been a sampling, just a teaser to take the anger away. The way he’d always had a drink of apple juice after taking medicine as a kid. This wasn’t a taste, and there was no burn of anger that he
needed to destroy with sweetness. This was Mara, his Mara, and he wasn’t going to let her go.
James let the slight current move them closer to shore, and then dropped to his knees, bringing Mara with him. With the small beach he’d created in his backyard behind them, he pulled Mara down on top of him. She sank over him, kissing his mouth, his jaw while her hands explored his torso.
James deepened the kiss, letting his tongue dip into her mouth. Enjoying the press of her breasts against his chest, and the slide of the water at their legs rippling gently in the night air. His thumb caressed her neck, and he could feel the unsteady beat, beat, beat of her carotid.
He cupped her breast in his hand, and her nipple pebbled beneath the silky fabric of her bikini top. He’d noticed with that first kiss, but being here with her now, the difference between her body in Nashville and now was definitely different. She would always be tall, and would likely always veer toward the willowy side of things, but she’d developed curves at her breast and hips that hadn’t been there before. A slight roundness to her tummy.
The changes were small, but they made her even more beautiful to him. Because the changes were a physical reminder of the little boy they’d created together. James pushed the bikini cup aside, wanting to feel her skin in his hand, and Mara moaned.
“I’m not the same girl I was, James. Having a baby, it changes the female body—”
“I don’t care.” James buried his hands in her hair, wanting to keep her here, right here for the rest of his life. Who cared about work or location. As long as she was with him, everything would be alright. “You were a beautiful girl, and you grew into a beautiful woman, and you’re more beautiful right here on this beach.”
She laid her mouth on his, dipped her tongue inside his mouth. “You say exactly the right things,” she said.
Mara slid down his chest, kissing her way to his sternum as her hands played with his flat nipples. She slid a little farther and he felt her hot tongue tracing along his abdomen. Her head was the only part of her within reach, so James buried his hands in the blonde strands. Her hands tugged at the waistband of his shorts, and then slipped inside to cup his length.