Sometimes Dead Men DO Tell Tales!

by David W. Smith

  “What?” Beth sounded wary. “What do you mean?”

  Throwing himself on the sofa, staring at her, he verbally worked through it. “Say, for instance, we go back to the Park right before it closes. It’s really slow and we jump again, laying low inside our hidden cave until everybody is gone. The cameras will be off and no one should be around. We walk down to the dog, borrow the key, and bring it back to see if it fits the lock. Whether or not it works, we take it back to the dog and no one’s the wiser.”

  “Cleaning crews.”

  “What time do they go through the ride?”

  Beth didn’t know. “I never got to work Pirates. Maintenance crews might be working if there’s some problem. We might have to lay low for a long time. Then, we have to get out—with or without a treasure.” She then added as an afterthought, “Adam, what if there’s just another clue behind the door?”

  “Then we’ll follow it.” Adam shrugged his shoulders. “But, you know, Beth, I have a feeling that this might be the last clue and beyond that door….” Adam’s voice trailed off as he began to think about the possibilities.

  “Well, let’s worry about getting out later.” Beth didn’t want to go there yet. “Let’s just get the door open first.”

  “I guess we can’t go carrying something through the same corridor Lance took us.”

  She gave a little laugh. “Well, we could try, but I don’t see that working very well.”

  “How about this? We stay in the cave overnight. When the first boatloads of people go through, we pretend we’re cast members doing ride check or something like that, and jump into the boat. Ask them how their day is going. Stuff like that. Think that might work?”

  Beth slowly nodded. “I like that. We have the clothes. Quality Control. But what if we have something large to carry out? Something bigger than what you’ve found so far?”

  “I guess I can bring a backpack and hope for the best.”

  “Your Pirate backpack, right?” she smiled.

  “So, do you want to ride together or in separate boats?”

  “Separate boats, I think.” Beth was a mix of excitement and nerves. “We’d better have a good dinner. It might be a while before we see the light of day again.”

  Adam thought about Security and grimaced. “Don’t word it like that. Let’s just hope our luck holds out.”

  The Park stayed open until 11 p.m. that night. Main Street was lit with thousands of tiny white lights in the trees. The water and light show Fantasmic! was over and the majority of the crowd surged toward the exits. Beth took Adam’s hand as they strolled through Adventureland, hearing the double shot of the Jungle Cruise skipper’s gun to ‘scare the charging hippo in the trees. You never know when he might jump.’ They decided to go right to Pirates to see how long the line was. There were just a few guests who filed through and the cast members were tired after a busy day.

  Beth was allowed to have the back seat alone in the second boat. Adam followed her a minute later. The other passengers were up front and didn’t seem too concerned with either the scenes or the other riders. Beth was unnoticed as she made her jump and hid behind the white rock wall. Heart pounding, she realized these stunts never got any easier. Holding her breath at every sound, she was startled when Adam came around the corner to join her.

  “Anyone see you?”

  “I don’t think so. They all looked pretty sleepy. You?”

  She just shrugged. “I don’t think so. Behind the bed after the next two boats?”

  Adam just nodded and put his arms around her to calm her. He was nervous, too, as this wasn’t a sure-fire plan. He could see some ‘elephant holes,’ as his dad called them. But, they had to try. At least there wasn’t a gun pointed at them. That much was a relief.

  The second boat went by and they crawled behind the bed. Two more boats and they stood at the map. Beth moved the bony hand while Adam pushed where he thought he had before. Going behind the headboard, they were dismayed to see the panel had not opened. “What did you do?”

  “I think it’s what I didn’t do…. Let’s try again…. Now!”

  Beth moved the hand back and Adam touched different places on the map, including the red X. This time the door opened and they sighed with relief as they crawled through. Adam lit the small Maglite he had hidden in the backpack and they made their way down the flight of stairs carved out of the fake rock.

  Flashing the light over the carved door and the floor around it, nothing looked moved or altered in any way. They could only surmise that Lance hadn’t been back. They half expected to see the marks of a crowbar or sledge hammer on the door.

  “Now we wait.” Adam shook out a small flannel blanket near a wall so they would have a back rest. “What time do you figure we should go out?” Adam grinned to himself as Beth cuddled up close to him on the hard floor.

  He could feel Beth shake her head against his shoulder. “Not sure. Depends on where Pirates is on the cleaning and maintenance list. I’d give it a good three hours. If they had any big maintenance things to do, they’d just close the ride for a few days. Since that isn’t the case, it might just be light cleaning, take trash out of the water, and a quick check of the flume and the audio-animatronics.”

  As they settled next to each other, enjoying the warmth and familiarity, Adam brought up something that had been bothering him. “Maybe you can help me figure something out, Beth. How come our secret access panel was never discovered? It’s been like thirty-five years. The map had to have been moved. The stuff covering the bed was probably changed or cleaned. How come nobody found this cavern?”

  As she pondered the different possibilities, Beth was silent for a moment. “Yeah, I thought about that, too. There are probably lots of hidden places in Disneyland that only certain people know about. But this one?” She shook her head again. “Only thing I can come up with is the location of the little door. It’s behind the huge headboard. From all the pictures we’ve seen, the bed is in the same place. It hasn’t moved. It’s possible the door could’ve been opening and closing every time someone did something to the bed. But it wouldn’t have been seen because it’s hidden in a place no one would go. We were crouched back there and we didn’t see the door until it was actually open.”

  “You could be right.” Adam’s arm around her shoulder pulled her a little closer. “You bring any cards?”

  “Oh! I didn’t even think of anything like that! What are we going to do for at least three hours?”

  “Well, I guess Strip Poker is out of the running.”

  “I don’t think that ever was in the running.” Men. Beth gave a light laugh.

  If anything, the banter helped relieve some of the nervousness. She still expected some panel to slide open and expose them to the utility corridor, be marched off to Security and thrown in jail. Okay, that last part didn’t help, she decided with a sigh.

  The minutes slowly ticked by. The noise of the crackers Adam brought to munch on sounded overloud in the quiet cavern. An offer for her to ‘try and get some sleep’ went nowhere as she was too wound up. Adam had said he would go for the key and she would wait there. It didn’t help when he added, “If I don’t come back, just leave as we planned in the morning and get out of here. You know where the truck is parked on the side street.” She nodded. The side street had been a good idea. A car left overnight in the parking structure risked being towed. The surrounding motels and restaurants didn’t allow non-customers to park, either. Walking all the way in from one of the streets behind the Disneyland Hotel had been worth the effort.

  “Is it time?” Her heart started pounding again when Adam got up to leave the security of the cavern.

  “I’m going up for a listen. If I hear anyone working, I’ll come back down. Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ll be fine.” He gave her a hug and a lingering kiss before grabbing the handrail to go up.

  The panel silently slid open as Adam pushed on the lever just inside the secret passage. The darkness that greete
d Adam was welcome, hopefully meaning that no one was working in that area. Still, he crouched behind the headboard and waited, listening.

  The animation of the ride had been turned off, as had the running water. It was eerily quiet. All those people who figured it would be so cool to walk around Pirates when no one else was there would be surprised at how spooky and wrong it felt.

  He waited a good five minutes to let his ears become accustomed to the silence. An occasional drip of water could be heard but nothing else. Walking to the edge of the water, he looked both ways but only darkness greeted him. Not wanting to chance the cast member pathways behind the rocks, he worked his way on the path next to the water flume. When he ran out of walkway, he took off his shoes and socks and waded through the two-foot deep water that was still with no pumps moving it. Once in the water, he stayed there not wanting to leave wet footprints. He waded through the silent fort battle and the Dunking the Mayor. The Mayor had been left in the down position. He smiled and wondered how long the Mayor could hold his breath. The burning town didn’t look quite so bad without the flames shooting up. Daydreaming about the eeriness of the motionless figures, Adam almost walked into two women cleaning the Jail Scene. Slowly he eased back and sank down in the water until his head was out of their sight. When they stopped talking, he knew they were looking in his direction. Holding his breath, he waited as water soaked into every inch of his clothes. Darn, he hadn’t figured on that. He’d be a mess in the morning. After a couple of moments, the women went back to work and their animated chatter. They moved on to the pirates in the final scene as Adam waited, water lapping under his chin. Glad I took my shoes off, he silently groused as he clutched them to his submerged chest.

  The women seemed to take forever on that last scene. What were they doing? Sewing new outfits for the pirates??Okay, calm down, he told himself. Nothing you can do, except look like a floating head when the first boat comes through in the morning.…

  It was finally quiet. The cleaning crew had gone out the door hidden behind the burning timbers. He waited another two or three minutes just to make sure they didn’t come back for something forgotten. Silence.

  Standing from his crouched position, Adam eased his sore legs and waded over to the waiting dog. “Hello, Sunnee,” he greeted quietly as he reached for the key. He was too short. There was no choice but to get on the walkway and risk the water run-off being seen. Figuring a wet butt print was better than two footprints, he sat on the edge as near as he could get to the silent dog and leaned backward toward his goal.

  Giving a tentative tug on the key, he hoped a piercing alarm wouldn’t go off. When nothing happened, he eased from his ready-to-run tenseness. No alarm—and no key. Sunnee didn’t want to let go. Adam had to turn around and get on his knees to work the key ring out of the dog’s mouth. Hoping he wouldn’t have to pull the faithful dog’s animated head off, he felt around in its grinning mouth. There was a hook hidden on dog’s tongue. With a sigh of relief, he twisted the hook and the key nearly fell into his hand. Before heading back to Beth, he gave Sunnee a parting pat on the head.

  Key in hand, he started back to the Captain’s Quarters and hoped Beth was still undiscovered. Since he was already wet, he just kept to the water and would use Beth’s blanket to wipe up the drippings that lead to their hidden cavern. Not a good time to leave a red-flag trail.

  When Beth heard the hidden panel slide open, her heart started pounding even though she knew it had to be Adam. In her nervousness, Beth flashed her light directly into his eyes when he came down the stairs. “Adam! It’s you! You’re all wet!”

  “And blind, Captain.” His remark was dry as he now could only see a white light dancing in front of his eyes. “Thanks.”

  Beth muttered an apology of sorts. “You were gone a long time. Why are you all wet? What happened?”

  He told her the story and then went out to wipe up the water. When he came back, she was staring at the key. “You didn’t try it yet?”

  She shook her head and handed it back to him. “You should do it. You’ve been working on this a long time.”

  Adam took another flashlight out of his backpack. “Hold your light on the door.” Adam handed her the light and then looked into Beth’s eyes. “Excited?”

  “Excited. Scared. Nervous.”

  She shone her light on the ancient door, finding the opening for the key in the heavy metal plate. The light wavered over the two silver marks in the plate, permanently scarred by bullets. Adam licked his dry lips—the only part of him that was dry—and aimed the key.

  His hand jumped when Beth suddenly asked, “Does it fit?”

  “Geez, you scared me!” Adam’s hand jerked just short of the keyhole. “Give me a sec.”

  The key slid easily into the lock. He gave a gentle turn to the left, but nothing happened. A turn to the right and they could hear the tumblers fall into place. A soft click came from inside the door.

  Hands shaking, Adam tugged on the door that probably hadn’t been opened in forty years.

  It creaked open, surprisingly easy on the brass hinges inside the door. A musky, dank smell poured out and dissipated. But, instead of another deep cavern like they were expecting, this space was about the size of a coat closet. After shining their light around the cobwebbed interior, they steadied the beam on the one object sitting on the floor of that closet.

  With a quiet determination, Adam started to pull the top off an old, beat-up wooden crate marked Props.

  Pant legs rolled as high as he could, Adam made his way back to the dog. The dog had held the key faithfully for forty years and it had to be returned.

  Adam dried off as best he could after his footprints were again wiped from the Captain’s Quarters. They waited in the blue tunnel when they heard the first screams of people coming down the waterfalls. Another day was at hand.

  Now they had to get out.

  Their jackets were inside the stuffed backpack. Wearing pirate shirts and bandanas, the fake nametags were in place. Adam just wished Beth didn’t look so worried. Her eyes looked terrified.

  This time they didn’t want secrecy. They had to get on a boat and sit before the first camera picked them up. And they had to make sure the other passengers believed they were working on the ride.

  “Always look like you know what you’re doing. People will believe you.” Lance’s words came back to Adam and he had to ignore the feeling of loss that swept through him. “You first.” Ever helpful, Adam gave her a little shove.

  “Don’t push me! I’m going. I’m going.” As she moved forward, she thought she heard a quiet, “I love you,” but she was already walking toward the boats.

  You work here. You belong here. You’re Quality Control. You’re dead meat, she just couldn’t help adding.

  Back straight, Beth smiled at the startled people as she stepped out of the walkway. She pointed at the first boat, “Any room?” She waved at a little boy who seemed shocked that a figure of a pirate was actually talking to them. She pointed to the second boat. “I’ll catch the next one, thanks!”

  She lightly jumped into the empty fourth row, grabbed the rail for stability and quickly sat. Those in the front rows turned to look at her. “Hi, there! Don’t mind me. Quality Control. I need to check the stabilizers now and then. Wouldn’t you think they would have the guys doing this, wouldn’t you? But, no! They have me jumping into boats. So, how is your day going so far? Having fun?” She couldn’t stop talking. Either that or she would start shaking. “How many rides have you been on so far? Remember, don’t try this at home.” She gave a light laugh to the people behind her. Once they relaxed, she hoped they couldn’t see her heart pounding against her nametag. Removing the bandana, she pretended to fix her hair as they went up the waterfall. The nametag was also stashed in a pocket and the laces on her blouse were tucked inside the best she could. Exiting with everyone else, she headed for the sunlight outside and didn’t look back. Walking slowly through Adventureland, she resisted the
urge to run as fast as she could to the Monorail. She just hoped Adam would be right behind her.

  At the Monorail Station, looking out over the silent, empty Submarine Lagoon, Beth waited and waited. The monorail Big Red had come and gone. The next, Monorail Blue, was winding its way around the overhead track. She gasped when a hand fell on her shoulder.

  “It’s me!” Adam whisper was a welcome relief.

  Giving him a bear hug, her hands brushed against the heavy backpack. “You’re all right! You look awful.”

  In the light of day, he did look awful. Unshaven, his clothes were wrinkled from being soaked twice and dried on his body, his eyes haunted, and his movements were jerky. “I feel awful. And wonderful. And still nervous.” He had to hold himself back from looking over his shoulder every couple of seconds. “I’m pretty sure it went all right, but I’ll feel better when we’re in my truck and heading away from here.” He couldn’t resist tugging his baseball cap a little lower.

  They moved into the middle of the few people waiting for the Monorail as it silently slid into the station. Beth held her questions until they were seated and pulling away from Tomorrowland. The Monorail slipped higher, banked right, and carried them over the berm that separated the reality of life outside the Park from the fantasy within. The monorail sped up as it traveled parallel to Harbor Boulevard, a good twenty-five feet above the cars below, until it turned right again and headed across the short-term parking lot and toward Downtown Disney. They looked down into the new California Adventure that had opened a year earlier, built on what used to be the original parking lot. Within a couple of minutes they came to a smooth stop at the Downtown Disney Monorail Station near the Disneyland Hotel. Glancing quickly around, Adam and Beth didn’t see anyone who looked like Security officers waiting to grab them. Trying to look like any other tourist, they ambled down the staircase and even had their hand stamped at the exit.