Kade

by Dana Archer

  “You know nothing about me. Why I act the way I do. What I’m running from. How I need to live my life to guarantee I wake up another day. So don’t you dare get on your high horse and lecture me. You’re nothing to me.”

  “Other than the man who owns your soul.”

  A flash of panic narrows her pupils. She pushes against my chest with her free hand, putting some space between us but not escaping. My firm hold on her waist and wrist keeps her right where I want her.

  She shakes her head. “I am not your true mate. I don’t know where you got that crazy idea. Maybe because I smell like you. Or that I ran from you. Or that you think I’m playing hard to get or something. It’s not true, though. I am not your destined soul mate or whatever it is you think I am. What we did last night… It was sex. Nothing more. We can’t ever be more. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression or triggered your instincts somehow. I didn’t mean to.”

  Her rambling statement holds the same anxious tone she used last night right before driving off. “Ownership goes both ways, and it’s my duty to educate you as to your responsibilities to me.”

  “I don’t own you. I—”

  My tongue in her mouth stops her foolish words. Her flavor hits me…drugs me. Groaning, I kiss my true mate, deeply and completely until dizziness grips me and tempts me to reach for our connection. Despite the darkness in Zoe’s soul, I crave her. More than that, I need her. The shadows she holds inside her can act as my shield, my cloak, the wall that blocks the world out and lets me bask in the one I share here with Zoe.

  Releasing my tight hold on her, I stroke my hands over her body, from her neck to her rear and pull her so close, her every breath is one I feel along my chest while she explores me, caressing every part of me she can reach.

  Zoe’s wandering touch pauses at the edge of the chain hanging around my neck. She curls her fingers around the metal and eases back to look into my face. For a long moment, she stares at me, not at the gift she gave me, but the realization of what’s attached to the chain is there in her eyes. Too bad pleasure or happiness isn’t reflected in her gaze. The regret growing there is the kind that would destroy most men, inflicting them with foolishness and embarrassment.

  I hold my true mate’s gaze, letting my confidence show.

  With a raw curse on her lips, Zoe cradles the metal tag. For an endless moment, she stares at the inscription, the one she chose for the gift she gave me—a gag gift, maybe, but still a gift.

  “Do you remember what you said when you gave this to me?” For me, the memory is all too clear.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you?” Zoe looks up at my questioning tone. “Do you really remember?”

  “Yes,” she answers.

  “You gave this to me because you didn’t want to lose me.” Lowering my voice, I lure Zoe closer until her breath mixes with mine. “Did you lie?” I hold her gaze while my smirk grows. “Or can’t you handle me?”

  “Kade.”

  There’s defeat in her voice. Sorrow. I feel it along my skin and hovering in the air between us. Still, I wait. And I watch. And I learn. This woman is unlike any I’ve known. But she’s mine. And I’m hers. The softening in her expression, the slow swipe of her tongue along her lower lip, the lowering of her eyelids, and the way her entire existence focuses on me tells me she feels the same.

  “I can’t be what you need.” Dipping her head, she turns away, the fall of her hair hiding whatever shows on her face. “I can’t.”

  “You are. My perfect queen.”

  “Oh…Kade.” A hiccupping sob twists my name. “I can’t—”

  “You are.” I wrap a hand around her throat. A gentle squeeze urges her to turn her head to me. My lips touch hers. “My queen.”

  The tip of her tongue slips between my lips, and then she’s kissing me. Undressing me. Loving me. Just as the last time we came together, I don’t hold back. I take her. Own her.

  This woman is mine. Forever. And if I mess it up with her in this lifetime, I’ll find her in another and…

  I break our kiss, and stare into Zoe’s eyes. In her next lifetime, my true mate won’t be Zoe. She’ll be another woman holding the soul of my true mate. She’ll still be my queen, still be my haven from the outside world, still be the one meant to share my soul, but she won’t be the woman in my arms right now.

  She’ll be a stranger who might never call me her pretty kitty or look at me with unrestrained carnal hunger. I won’t know that version of my true mate. But I’ll know I failed her once before.

  With my hands holding my face, I kiss Zoe, working my way to the delicate space where shoulder meets neck. My fangs descend, instincts taking over, and I latch on to her. Her groan envelopes me, slips into me, and echoes in my head. The beat of her heart guides me, quickening mine to match hers, and the darkness hanging over her soul welcomes me with a cool sweep of air that calms me, dampening the fire within me and allowing our pleasure to roll through me, and wiping away the thoughts weighing in my mind so only this remains—this thing Zoe has stirred within me, leaving me stronger than I ever was before.

  I can’t put a name to it, but I know what it is. It’s power. And I want more.

  “Kade.” My name slips through our shared soul on an exhaled sigh.

  “My queen.” I tighten my arms around Zoe—body and soul—and give her a piece of myself.

  Pain blinds us both for a breathless moment as Zoe’s scream builds a storm within her soul. I draw her agony away, calming the clouds, easing the fear, and restoring the quiet solitude that welcomed me home. Brightness shines in the shadows. It’s the piece of my soul in hers. The thought skips through me. A firm mental shove thrusts me out before the wonder of what we are together can take hold.

  My fangs slip free of Zoe’s shoulder. She slaps a hand over the bloody spot and twists her body, dropping her bottom onto the couch.

  Her widened eyes latch onto mine. “What did you do?”

  I lick my lips, swallowing the last of my true mate’s blood, and crouch next to where she’s sitting with her legs tucked under her, but I don’t answer, at least not in words. I rest my hand over hers. Then with a firm push, I move her hand and uncover the bite she’ll carry for eternity.

  Saliva fills my mouth, but I don’t lick the wound closed. This thing between us isn’t done. It doesn’t mean Zoe needs to feel any pain while healing my mate mark.

  Taking her face in my hands and staining her cheeks with her own blood, I bring her lips to mine. Our kiss leaves the woman in my arms pliant and open. I nick my tongue, my healing blood flavoring our kiss. All the while, I revel in our connection, from this perfectly choreographed dance only we will ever share to the hint of power I glimpsed within Zoe. We were made for each other.

  Finally, I ease back and lock my gaze with my equal. “I granted your wish.”

  “What wish?”

  I lay my hand over her chest, right above her heart. “Now you’ll never lose me.”

  Panic drains the color from her face. “What did you do?”

  I move away from my true mate and gather my clothes, dressing without looking at her. With my shoes on and my shirt tucked, I glance over my shoulder. “I gave you a piece of my soul. Don’t lose it, my little queen. It’s the only one I have to give.”

  With that, I walk out, closing the office door behind me. This moment is all I can afford to give to personal matters. Others need attention, including righting a past wrong done to my other half. And punishing a male whom I can’t kill without starting a war with the Yuran pride poses a dilemma I haven’t quite decided how to meet. But I will. And when I do, Vince Catania Yuran will regret hurting my true mate.

  Sixteen

  Zoe

  Hours of staring at the bite mark on my shoulder haven’t given me the answers I need. It’s only left me with an overwhelming desire to seek out the man who bit me.

  With trembling fingers, I trace the scabbed entry points. While not healed completely, the open wounds clos
ed practically before my eyes in the minutes after Kade left me. Alone.

  Needing him.

  Hard rapping on the door forces me to move. Slipping my shirt over my head, I leave the attached bathroom behind and walk across the office. With my hand on the doorknob, I cut a quick peek at the blanket covering the mangled couch cushions. Even with the physical barrier blocking the damage Kade’s claws caused, I won’t be able to hide what went on here tonight, especially from shifters who will be able to scent the sex in the air.

  And what does it matter? Kade and I are both adults. If we want to fool around like bunnies, we can. And if Kade wants to toss away a piece of his soul, who am I to stop him?

  The tension over what happened here tonight slips away. I can’t change the past. I’ve learned that the hard way. What Kade did and what I unknowingly asked for is over. There’s no going back. Doesn’t mean I have to deal with the consequences. My car is parked behind the bar with a full tank of gas. Kade never took the ’Cuda back. As far as I’m concerned, him not taking his car back means he gave it to me.

  And now I have a piece of his soul cutting through the darkness I carry. I saw the effect he had on my soul after he left a piece of his behind, and I can’t help but wonder what my crazy side thinks of the solid flame acting as a candle among shadows shrouding our shared world.

  Another hard thump shakes the door. “Zoe, open up. There’s a human waiting out here for you. A clerk from a hunting goods shop near here. He says he won’t leave until he talks to you. I could throw him out, but he’s a regular and—”

  I open the door and come face-to-face with the bouncer I’ve met but have given a wide berth. His don’t-cross-me vibe isn’t one I ever wanted to tempt. Even now, I don’t want to mess with this man. He’s given me no choice, however. I rub at the hairs standing up on my arms and take a step back, leaving plenty of space between us. “The guy who was talking to Vince earlier?”

  “Stan.” Ilan leans against the opposite side of the hallway and crosses his arms. Light reflects off the shiny band on Ilan’s ring finger. “Do you know him?”

  “Not really.” I tip my chin to the thick wedding band on his finger. “You got married?”

  A small dip of Ilan’s head answers me.

  “Anyone I know?”

  “Sara.”

  “The Sara who works here?” I can’t help the amusement in my voice or whatever shows on my face. Even I remember how Sara used to watch Ilan on the nights they both worked together.

  “Used to work here.” Ilan uses his thumb to rub at the wedding band on his finger. “She’s taking some time off to care for our sons.”

  “Sons?”

  Warmth slides into Ilan’s normally impassive features. He raises one corner of his mouth in a half smile. “My nephews, technically, but we’re raising them as our sons. That’s what they are to us.”

  “Congratulations. That’s wonderful.”

  Ilan stares at me a moment while the joy of talking about his family fades from his expression. Obviously, either my tone or whatever’s written on my face doesn’t welcome his happiness. Darn. I’m usually much better at faking my empathy. Between seeing Mira pregnant and facing Vince again, this visit home has upset my balance, however.

  Then there’s this thing with Kade. Dang if I know what to do about it or him.

  Ilan looks past me at the blanketed couch. He doesn’t visibly inhale. Doesn’t so much as change his expression. But the moment he turns to me, the weight of his displeasure presses down on me.

  In a move I barely see, Ilan yanks the neckline of my shirt, revealing the bite mark on my shoulder. “Did he take a piece of your soul or give you his?”

  My first instinct is to deny what happened or plead ignorance. The desire to understand the ramifications of what Kade did stop me. “Gave me his. He told me not to lose it. That it was the only piece he had to give.”

  “If you die, he loses the piece of his soul you now carry. If you die, you’ve sentenced him to an eternity of incompleteness. If you die”—Ilan uncurls his fingers, releasing the neckline of my shirt, then lowers himself slightly so we’re face-to-face—“you will never be able to mate him in another life. You might know each other again. You might love each other again. But you’ll never walk through eternity with him. He won’t be able to mate you. You’ll die again and again while he mourns you forever.”

  Ice slithers through me and blends into an anger I can’t explain. “Why would he do this? I told him I can’t be what he needs. I told him I could never love him. He’s crazy thinking I’m his true mate or something.”

  Ilan stares at me for so long, I can’t help but wonder if he can look into my soul the way Kade had. And if Ilan can, what would he think of me? What’s inside me is not a happy place. Except for my own personal candle, however. Even with the gift Kade left behind, my soul’s cold and dark and not a happy place. Given the chance, my crazy side would likely decorate it with the rotting corpses of our enemies.

  Finally, Ilan rises to his full height. He adjusts my shirt, covering the scabbed bite on my shoulder, then walks past me and snatches a heavy sweatshirt from the back of the desk chair. He returns to me and tugs the thick gray material over my head, the soft inside a brush of coziness from someone’s favorite well-worn piece of clothing. I slip my arms through without being told, and Ilan lifts my hair out.

  Then he lowers himself so we’re eye level again. “Sara makes it so I can be a man worthy of her. That doesn’t mean I understand love. It simply means I give her what she needs. Just as I give my nephews what they need. It’s instinctual. Perhaps that’s what drove Kade to make this sacrifice for you. I can’t say, but I do have one bit of advice for you.”

  “And that is?”

  “Don’t let anyone else see that bite on your shoulder.”

  Ilan’s suggestion isn’t necessary. I remember how Josh was targeted in an attempt to hurt Mira before they mated. Kill me, hurt Kade.

  The anger builds, leaving me seething. How dare Kade put me in this position. “I can’t be what he needs.”

  Ilan shrugs. “I don’t know Kade well. Or what he needs. He keeps most of those in his inner circle at a distance, and those on the outside far enough away, they only see a powerful alpha.”

  “And where do you fall? Friend or stranger?” Josh considers Ilan a friend, but I don’t know about Kade. Honestly, I don’t know much about Kade other than he loves like a freak and looks adorable when he smiles.

  And thinks I’m his queen.

  “I don’t have friends. I have those I consider mine.” Ilan motions to the hall. “Now either talk to the human, or I throw him out. We close in twenty minutes.”

  “I’ll talk to him.” I roll the sleeves of the sweatshirt, then turn to the open door.

  “Zoe?”

  I glance over my shoulder at where Ilan’s standing next to the covered couch with the edge of the blanket in his fisted grip. “What?”

  “I lied. I have one more bit of advice.” Ilan lifts the blanket, revealing the cushions Kade destroyed while we had sex and he gave himself over to his primal side. “Don’t die.”

  “Wasn’t planning on it.” I turn my back on Ilan and head toward the main barroom.

  Lumberjack man, aka Stan, turns at my approach. He sets his beer down and moves to get up. I shake my head, silently telling him to stay where he’s at, and make my way to him, ignoring the curious glances of the few shifters from neighboring packs I’ve met but can’t claim to know. I never stuck around long enough to learn more than their names, and I have no desire to find out anything now. The way lumberjack man keeps glancing at the door sets me on edge. I want to know why he appears ready to bolt at the sight of the wrong person walking through that door.

  “You wanted to talk to me?” And Stan better make it quick too. I need to get out of here. Maybe jump in the ’Cuda and just drive for a bit. Too much has happened.

  “I wanted to give you a warning.”

  “Abou
t?”

  Stan sweeps the crowd, then leans closer. “Not here. There’s too many people around for this conversation.”

  Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. “I don’t know you, Stan. I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m not some whack job or creep, but you don’t know that.” Stan points to the very back corner of the bar, where a section of tables appears to have been deliberately left vacant. “How about we go sit over there?”

  I flick my gaze from the tables to where Ilan’s standing at the other end of the bar. He doesn’t look at me, but I don’t doubt he’s listening. My guess is confirmed when he grabs a basket of utensils and a sleeve of heavyweight napkins and heads to one of the far tables, close to where Stan indicated we sit, but not close enough he’d suspect anyone would be able to hear. I face Stan. “Sure, but make it quick. The bar’s closing soon.”

  “Yeah.” Stan rubs the side of his hand over his mouth, swiping a string of saliva over his cheek. His rancid breath wafts over me, churning my stomach with a stench of something rotten he must’ve eaten. “Yeah. I’ll make it quick. I want out of here in case Josh comes back to close up.”

  “Why? Doesn’t he want you here?”

  “No, no, nothing like that. I’m not a troublemaker or anything.” Stan offers a tight, apologetic smile, then walks with me across the bar. “And I know Josh is your brother. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about him. Me and my buddies… We used to be tight with Josh. Hung out all the time. I was a couple grades above him in school. You might not remember me, but I got held back a few times, so who knows. Last year before I dropped out, Josh was in my class. He’s a buddy. Well, we used to be real good buds, but he’s got a family now. Kinda cuts into drinking and horsing around time, you know?”

  “I know.” I speak up so Stan will keep talking, not because I can relate.