A Mother's Love

by Charlotte Hubbard

  “This one, Mamma,” Gracie said. “And see? This box has white chalk and colors. I can write my letters and draw pretty pictures, too!”

  “That will be fun,” Rose said as they returned to the front of the store. Had her daughter perhaps inherited an artistic flair from Joel Lapp? It was another of those questions that would probably go unanswered.

  As she stood at the counter while Sam rang up her purchases, Rose felt overwhelmed by his kindness—as well as the many things she needed to accomplish before Thursday. The secret about who she really was weighed heavily on her, too—but this was no time to ask Sam what he knew about Roseanne staying with Dat and Mamma for the first eight months of her life.

  After Rose paid Sam, she divided their purchases among the tote bags, allowing Gracie to carry the one that held her blue fabric and the box of chalk. When Sam handed a stick of pink-and-green-striped candy over the counter, Rose envied her little girl’s delight. Would such simple pleasures ever make her smile again? Would she ever feel so overjoyed that she couldn’t help squealing?

  “Denki, Preacher Sam!” Gracie exclaimed. “I’m glad you’re my friend.”

  “I’m glad, too,” the storekeeper replied. “You girls be careful walking home. Cars sometimes come around the bend too fast.”

  Rose nodded, already thinking ahead to the cutting and sewing she would do this evening. She wondered if she should have bought some cheese and lunch meat—it seemed her head didn’t hold nearly as much necessary information these days as it once did. She glanced at Gracie, who had slung her tote over her shoulder so she could unwrap her candy stick.

  “Come on, sweetie,” Rose urged as she strode toward the door. “I’ll help you with your candy when we’re—Ach!”

  The door burst inward and a tall fellow stepped inside just as Rose was trying to go out. Her totes flew every which way, sending the little chalkboard and the white fabric to the floor and knocking Gracie’s candy from her hand.

  “I’m sorry,” the man said as he quickly stooped to pick up the totes and their contents. “I should’ve been paying attention—”

  “I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Rose insisted, mortified that she felt like bursting into tears. Her emotions went on a roller-coaster ride as she numbly watched the fellow refold the white fabric for Mamma’s dress. He put the blackboard back in the other tote and handed them both to her.

  “What can I do to make up for running into you?” he asked earnestly. “I’m really sorry.”

  “It’s all right. No harm done.” Rose glanced away shyly. Then she saw the stricken expression on Gracie’s face, and her quivering lower lip.

  “Sweetie, it’s okay,” Rose said as she reached for her little girl. “We’ll get you another stick of candy.”

  “No, I will get you another stick,” the man insisted as he picked the pieces of pink-and-green candy from the floor. “Is watermelon your favorite? Or shall I lift you up to the counter so you can choose your own?”

  Gracie nodded hesitantly, wide-eyed as the man crouched in front of her.

  “My name’s Matthias,” he said gently. “I’m really sorry I knocked all your stuff—and your candy—to the floor. Can I be your friend, anyway?”

  Gracie handed her tote to Rose. Then she nodded at the man again.

  “Will you tell me your name, honey?” Matthias asked.

  When he opened his arms, Gracie stepped into them, smiling as he hefted her up against his broad shoulder. “Gracie,” she said sweetly. “And Mamma’s name is Rose.”

  Rose felt her face turning three shades of red when Matthias gazed at her. He was probably six feet tall, broader than Nathan had been, with a brown beard and brown hair and laugh lines fanning out around his hazel eyes. It was nice, yet a bit alarming, that her daughter already seemed so comfortable with this stranger. Gracie wiggled happily as he walked to the candy display on the counter.

  Sam was watching them as though plans might be forming in his mind. “Matthias Wagler has a harness shop in Willow Ridge,” he told Rose. “He stops in every now and again for supplies. If I were to choose anybody for you and Gracie to run into, it would be Matthias.”

  Rose’s cheeks burned. What on earth did Sam mean, making such a remark? In her embarrassment, she couldn’t get Gracie out of the store fast enough. Not only was her daughter delighted to be sucking on a fresh watermelon stick, she clutched four other flavors in her little hand as they stepped out into the bright sunshine.

  “Matthias is nice,” Gracie said as they strode toward the road.

  “Jah, whatever,” Rose muttered. She looked both directions for traffic.

  “He likes you, Mamma,” Gracie prattled on. “I think he likes everybody—like Jesus does! Matthias looks just like the picture of Jesus in my Bible storybook.”

  Rose stopped in the middle of the road to stare at her daughter. Where did Gracie come up with such wild ideas? “Let’s get home,” she insisted, walking faster. She’d never seen Matthias Wagler before, and she didn’t care if she ever saw him again.

  Chapter 6

  Matthias caught his breath, noting how the sweet fragrance of watermelon candy lingered in the air. He was glad the store was quiet, so nobody except Sam Lambright had witnessed his run-in with that poor, startled woman. “So who was that?” he asked Sam. “Does she always look like a deer caught in somebody’s headlights?”

  A smile softened the storekeeper’s face. “Rose Raber lost her mother early this morning. That white fabric was for the burial clothing she’s going home to sew.”

  “Oh, no,” Matthias said with a sigh. “I chose a lousy time to upset her, but I couldn’t help noticing—”

  “Rose lost her husband and her dat last summer. Their sawmill burned down with the two of them trapped inside it,” Sam continued.

  “—that she’s a redhead who’s not pale and freckled.” Matthias blinked as Sam’s words sank in. “Jah, I remember hearing about that nasty fire. So little Gracie and Rose have no men around, and now Rose’s mamm has passed as well? Wow. That’s really sad.”

  “The funeral’s Thursday. We’ll be hosting the lunch at my mamm’s greenhouse after the service,” Sam said, slipping his thumbs beneath his suspenders. “Rose has never been one to seek sympathy, but, jah, she’s in a bad way. I don’t think it’s hit her yet—how difficult things might get as she’s raising little Gracie alone.”

  “What can I do for her?” Matthias asked earnestly. “I asked Rose, but I got no answer.” He had no intention of pestering Rose for a date—And where did that thought come from? I haven’t gone on a date since Sadie died—but he felt bad about running into her.

  He waited patiently as Sam considered his question. Matthias didn’t know the storekeeper very well—he only came to the Cedar Creek Mercantile because Willow Ridge had no such store where he could buy supplies for his shop.

  “What with no brothers or uncles nearby,” Sam said softly, “Rose doesn’t have anyone to dig her mother’s grave—although the funeral home would take care of that detail if—”

  “Nope, that’s exactly what I’ll do,” Matthias declared. “I’ll buy a shovel while I’m here, and I’ll let the undertaker know that task is covered.”

  “I’ll call Parker right now while you do your shopping,” Sam said with an approving nod. “I need to chat with him, anyway.”

  Matthias smiled, recalling the news he hadn’t yet shared. “Take your time, Sam. I’ve got a long shopping list today,” he said as he slipped the piece of paper from his pocket. “I’m relocating my harness shop—and myself—to Morning Star. Just found a little place on the outskirts of town, and I’ll be moving there soon.”

  Sam’s eyebrows rose. “That’s quite a shift, after living in Willow Ridge all your life. What brought this on?”

  Matthias shrugged. He was still getting used to the idea of this major change. “When my brother Adam married, his new wife moved into our place with her five younger siblings, and the house got a little crow
ded—plus a lot noisier,” he added with a chuckle. “And now Annie Mae’s had twins—”

  “So a place of your own sounds like a fine idea, I bet,” Sam said. “He’s a gut man, your brother, taking responsibility for all those kids.”

  “Adam’s the best,” Matthias agreed. “And Morning Star’s a fine town—has more businesses, Plain and English alike, so my harness shop should do even better there than it’s done in Willow Ridge.”

  “Change is a gut thing sometimes,” Sam agreed as he stepped from behind the counter. He gazed at Matthias for a moment. “Do I remember correctly that you lost your wife a while back? Maybe Morning Star will offer you more opportunities to meet somebody special.”

  Matthias sobered. “My Sadie’s been gone a little more than three years,” he murmured. “I like to think she knows I’m moving—and that she’ll believe I’m moving forward now as well.”

  “You’re young yet. It’d be a shame if you lived alone much longer, Matthias,” Sam said as he headed for the phone shanty “I’ll call Parker and be back in a few.”

  As Matthias grabbed a shopping cart, he thought Sam Lambright was taking an intense interest in his personal life. Was it because Sam was a preacher, who advocated marriage for all adults? Or was he watching out for Rose Raber, thinking of her future?

  Matthias shook his head at this notion. Rose was attractive and little Gracie was a charmer, for sure, but he had to remain focused on moving to his new home and setting up his new shop.

  The baby Sadie was carrying would’ve been nearly three by now . . . a bit younger than Gracie. We wanted that child with all our hearts.

  Matthias pushed his cart toward the back of the store, where the hardware and tools were. He hadn’t thought lately about Sadie and their unborn child—considered it a blessing that he’d finally emerged from the heavy fog of grief, which had enveloped him for so long. Meeting Rose seemed to be kicking some memories loose.

  Hundreds of times he’d chided himself for not being home when his wife had succumbed to an asthma attack. Afterward, the doctor had told him Sadie had probably gotten morning sick after Matthias had left on an errand, and then her asthma had flared up and she’d suffocated on her vomit. Nowadays Matthias could believe her death wasn’t his fault, but the grief—Sadie’s absence from his life—still haunted him on nights when he couldn’t sleep.

  Matthias focused on his shopping list. He stuck a sturdy spade and a blue tarp in his cart. A few aisles over, he found sandpaper, Spackle, putty, and white latex paint—all of which would come in handy when he moved into the house he’d bought in Morning Star. The older folks who’d been living there couldn’t maintain the place, so a lot of windows and walls needed repair before he painted all the rooms. He was glad his brother had offered to help with some of these tasks. Adam ran a home-remodeling business—and had some tools and skills Matthias was lacking.

  The jingling of the bell above the door, along with the sound of voices, told Matthias that other folks were entering the store. He quickly put a new mailbox in his cart, along with a sturdy wooden post to support it. He still had a few items on his list, but his cart was full so he pushed it up to the front to check out. Two young blondes—he thought they might be Sam’s daughters—nodded at him and disappeared into the workroom behind the front counter, where Sam was resuming his place.

  “My word, Matthias, you’ve got your work cut out for you,” the storekeeper remarked as he assessed the contents of the cart. “And on that same subject, Parker Conrad sends his thanks for your digging Lydia Fry’s grave.”

  “Where’s she to be buried?” Matthias asked as he began placing his smaller items on the counter. “In the cemetery right down the hill from here?”

  “Jah, it’s right alongside the pasture where the sheep are grazing,” Sam explained as he rang up the putty and the Spackle. “Take the second dirt road into the cemetery and along the fence, just past the biggest oak tree, you’ll find where Myron Fry’s buried—that’s Rose’s dat. Her husband, Nathan, is on one side of him, and we’ll bury Lydia on Myron’s other side.”

  “Should be easy enough to spot.” Matthias held up the mailbox so Sam could see its price. “Might as well tackle that job while I’m here in town. I’ve posted a sign on my shop door in Willow Ridge about being away today, so folks won’t be expecting me.”

  “You’ll be doing Rose a real favor. Not trying to play matchmaker, you understand,” the storekeeper said, “but you could do a lot worse than Rose Raber. Gut solid woman. Devoted to her little girl, her parents—and to her Nathan when he was alive.”

  Matthias refrained from rolling his eyes at Sam’s obvious ploy to fix him up. “Rose will probably go to live with a brother or an uncle, if she’s got no husband to support her.”

  “Rose is an only child. Her dat’s family lives in Indiana, and her mamm’s family is gone,” Sam explained. “When Nathan and Myron died, Rose sold her husband’s place and moved back home with Lydia—and Lydia’s chemo and other treatments have surely eaten into their savings. Not trying to make you feel sorry for Rose—nor will she appreciate your pity,” Sam added emphatically. “I’m giving you this information so you can sift through it.”

  “Food for thought,” Matthias said. He was glad to be paying for his items, because other folks were entering the store—and he didn’t want Sam discussing his personal life in front of strangers.

  As Matthias wheeled his cart outside and loaded his purchases in his wagon, he reminded himself that Rose wasn’t his immediate concern. He was simply going to dig her mother’s grave, and then he’d head back to Willow Ridge. As he prepared to move to Morning Star, he felt his life was too busy these days to even think about dating.

  Matthias vaulted up into the wagon seat and clucked to Ed, his gelding. It only took a couple of minutes to reach the Cedar Creek Cemetery. When he spotted the big oak tree, Matthias drove along the dirt path, past rows of identical cream-colored round-shouldered headstones. He parked in the ancient tree’s shade, unhitched Ed, and tethered the horse so he could graze.

  Matthias grabbed the spade. After he confirmed the names on Nathan Raber and Myron Fry’s stones, he paced off a space that would accommodate a plain pine coffin, marking boundaries in the grass with his spade. He spread the blue tarp on the ground beside the grave.

  As he began to dig, Matthias was grateful that the earth was soft from recent rains and that the oak tree shaded him. After he’d cleared away the rectangle of grass and the first layer of dirt, the digging became grunt work.... His hands and arms took over and his mind wandered. The grave got deeper and the dirt pile on the tarp got higher. He thought back to when he and Adam had buried their parents, and to the times he’d dug graves for other folks as a favor to their families.

  When Rose Raber’s face came to mind, Matthias couldn’t help smiling—and recalling Gracie’s little arm around his neck as she chose sticks of candy. Now that he was an uncle to Adam and Annie Mae’s twins, as well as his sister-in-law’s little siblings, Matthias was used to settling squabbles and wiping tears, singing songs and telling stories. It had been a real pleasure to gaze into Gracie’s wide green eyes and to see the freckles sprinkled across her nose as she sized him up—and decided he was worthy of her trust and could be her friend.

  Matthias was hip-deep in the grave when a voice behind him brought him out of his thoughts.

  “Hey there, Matthias! Dat thought you might like a cold drink and a snack.”

  Matthias flashed a grateful smile as the two young ladies he’d seen at the mercantile approached him. The older one carried a pitcher of lemonade and her sister held a plate of goodies. They wore matching lavender dresses and their smiles resembled Sam’s.

  “Now that you mention it, I could use a break.” Matthias stuck his spade into the loose dirt and levered himself out of the grave. “You’re Sam’s daughters, jah?”

  “I’m Gail and this is Ruthie,” the older girl said with a nod. She appeared to be in her late t
eens, while her sister was considerably younger. “We heard Dat talking to you about Rose Raber, and about how you’re helping her out—”

  “So we took a break from filling bags in the back room,” Ruthie continued, “because visiting with you sounded like a lot more fun than working.”

  “Ruthie!” Gail muttered, elbowing her sister.

  The younger girl handed Matthias her plate, which was filled with cinnamon rolls and chocolate chip cookies. “It’s true,” Ruthie insisted. “Where would you rather be on an April day, Matthias? Out in the sunshine, or cooped up in a storeroom full of barrels and boxes, scooping macaroni into plastic bags?”

  Matthias laughed as he accepted a glass of lemonade from Gail. “Can’t say as I’d be much gut at scooping macaroni—”

  “But you’re a gut fellow to be helping Rose Raber,” Ruthie put in, gazing directly into his eyes. “Bishop Vernon’s always telling us we’re to be the hands and feet of Jesus here on earth. I’d say you’re His muscle and backbone—and His kind heart.”

  Matthias swallowed his lemonade carefully. “That’s a very nice thing to say, Ruthie.”

  The young blonde nodded emphatically. “I’ll be sure Rose knows it was you who dug her mamm’s grave, too,” she said. “Rose doesn’t like to be beholden to anyone, so I’ll bet she offers to cook you a nice supper in exchange for—”

  “Ruthie, stop!” Gail whispered in exasperation. “You’re taking this too far.”

  Matthias glanced away, aware that his face was probably red—and that Ruthie would know he wasn’t flushed from digging the grave. He had a feeling that by Thursday’s funeral, everyone in Cedar Creek would think he was chasing after Rose Raber. “I appreciate your kind words, Ruthie,” he said, “but after I ran into Rose and knocked the bags out of her hands, I suspect she’ll be steering clear of me—and that’s all right. You really don’t need to match us up.”