Home to Heal

by Lois Richer

  “By inviting me?” Abby didn’t believe that, but she didn’t have time to think about it.

  “I’m starving,” Zac insisted. “We might as well eat what she’s prepared, don’t you think?” He waited for her nod before ushering her to the table in the dining room, which was set with fine china, glittering crystal glassware and sparkling silver. “Nice. Wait here. I’ll serve.”

  “No, we should do it together.” She followed him into the kitchen, nose twitching at the delightful aromas wafting from there. “Smells fantastic, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes.” He licked his lips as he lifted the dishes from the oven. “I hope she made that chocolate cake for dessert.”

  Abby pulled a sticky note off the fridge.

  “Salad,” she said as she reached in to retrieve it and the dressing for it. “So fresh and inviting.”

  “You can have all of it. I’d rather eat this.” He held out a glass-covered dish with browned cutlets in it.

  “You don’t even know what it is,” Abby teased.

  “Yes, I do. Veal cutlets. She asked me earlier this week if they were still my preference. I had no idea why.” He carried it and the other side dishes to the table.

  “She’s seated us close together so we don’t have to reach, I guess,” Abby said as she sat in the chair he held for her.

  Zac sat down next to her, his arm brushing hers. “Cozy,” was all he said before he gave thanks.

  Abby started with her salad, her heart thumping merrily each time Zac got close. She wanted to savor every moment of this evening so she could take it out and remember the details when she was far away and all alone.

  “How did the session today go?” she asked.

  “Not great.” He set his half-full salad bowl aside and leaned back to wait for her. “I was too distracted.”

  There was something different about him, something...relaxed? She gave up on the salad.

  “Distracted by?”

  “My stupidity.” He served her creamy mashed potatoes with a faint aroma of garlic, glazed carrots, fresh peas and, of course, the veal.

  “What are you talking about, Zac?” Had something happened? What had she missed? Abby suddenly regretted her decision to take the twins for a long hike this afternoon. She should have been there...

  “Stop worrying,” he said, covering her hand with his. “It’s nothing bad. I just had a reality check. Enjoy your meal before it gets cold,” he urged, but she noticed his other hand shook slightly as he tore apart a freshly baked roll.

  Nervous? Why would Zac be uncomfortable with her?

  Abby tasted the food, allowing the delicious flavors to mingle on her tongue. But she couldn’t sidetrack her thoughts from what he’d said.

  “What kind of reality check?” she wondered when she couldn’t control her curiosity a moment longer.

  “Oh, God and I had a little set-to.” It sounded like he was toying with her, until Abby saw the way his eyes glinted when he tipped his head to the side and allowed her a closer look.

  “Zac?” she whispered uneasily. “What’s really going on?”

  “With Miss P.? I haven’t a clue. With me?” He took off his glasses and set them aside. “I finally admitted to myself that God loves me and that I love you.”

  “Pardon?” She was afraid to believe it, afraid she’d only heard what she wanted to. Her heart trembled when he pushed away their dishes and grasped her hands.

  “I said I love you. I know I haven’t acted like it. I’ve been running scared, Abby.”

  She heard the tremor in his voice. “Scared of me?” she whispered.

  “Of you. Of God. Of life.” A small mocking smile lifted his lips. “It’s a very uncomfortable position. Which is probably why I’ve been such a bear these past few months...” He stopped abruptly when her forefinger pressed against his lips to stop him.

  “You had some things to figure out. Please tell me.”

  “I was in Peace Meadow,” he said, shaking his head. “There’s something about that place since you fixed it up...”

  “We relax there. We relinquish our barriers,” she murmured, thinking of her own faith renewal that had taken place there. “Then God can open our eyes and show us how foolish we’re being.”

  “Foolish is the right term,” he said, his fingers tightening on hers. “I finally saw that I am the child and He is the parent.”

  “And the mission?” she wondered, peering at his beloved face and soaking in every detail, praying this wasn’t a dream she’d wake up from.

  “May I tell you about that day?” His brown eyes turned to cocoa while his face tightened into a mask. “I feel like if I tell you, if I share the worst day of my life with you, it will somehow cleanse the horrible memories.”

  “Then tell me,” Abby invited, thrilled he’d decided to share these most personal details with her.

  So Zac bared his soul, bringing light to every dark detail, every horrifying image and every lingering fear that still lurked in the corners of his mind.

  “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” she said when he’d finished. She cupped his jaw in her palm. “I’m so, so sorry.” She blinked when he turned his lips and placed a kiss in the center of her hand.

  “Thank you, darling heart. But I’m not.” He grinned at her surprise. “Oh, I’d like to have my full sight back, don’t get me wrong. But I think God had to take me into the realm of the sightless in order to get me to see that pain and suffering aren’t a waste. To teach me more about Him, force me to learn what I didn’t want to.”

  “And what did you learn?” she whispered, half-afraid to hear the answer. But why fear? Wasn’t God in charge?

  “I learned that my ways are not His ways. Obvious, huh?” Zac’s fingers began toying with her hair, coiling it about his fingers. “I realized that you are a beautiful, giving person, inside and out, and that you somehow learned to reach past your pain to help others. I learned humility. Truly I did,” he said when she smiled. Then his voice dropped, grew serious. “I learned something else.”

  She hardly dared hope...

  “I also learned I love you, Abigail Armstrong. I’ve been desperately praying you might possibly feel something for me, that my anger and harshness and bitter tirade haven’t hurt you.”

  “Oh, Zac.” Abby touched her lips to his chin. “I’m so proud of you. You’ve worked your way through a very hard, costly time and you’ve come out shining on the other side. Your new ministry is a true gift from God and you use it to glorify Him. You love God, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do.” He nodded, his gaze never leaving her face. “I have been blessed with two earthly fathers who both taught me that my being, who I am, comes from my heavenly Father. I think I forgot that for a while.”

  “I’m so glad you’ve remembered.” She smiled at him, somehow shy.

  “But you haven’t answered me.” He frowned. “Does that mean you don’t have any feelings for me, Abby? Did I spoil everything by being so self-centered?”

  “No.” She moistened her lips, half-afraid to say it, yet determined not to let this God-given opportunity pass her by. “I love you, Zac. I have for some time. Oh!”

  She gulped as he grasped her hand and eased her from the table right into his arms.

  “Seriously? You love me?” he demanded, staring into her face.

  “Well, of course—”

  The rest of her words were stifled by his kiss, tender and loving, yet strong, showing her without a doubt that she was the woman of his heart. And Abby responded, tentatively at first, and then, throwing worry to the wind, with her entire being.

  And when the storm had passed and they stood embracing each other beside the perfectly set table still bearing the sumptuous but cooling meal, Abby giggled.

  “What’s so funny?” Zac demanded.

  “We’
re standing in Miss Partridge’s dining room, kissing. Imagine if she saw us?”

  But Zac only laughed and shook his head.

  “I kind of think that was her whole aim in inviting us both here tonight,” he said. “She decided to play matchmaker to the matchmakers, and truthfully, I think she’s much better at it than us.”

  Abby agreed as she gave silent thanks to God for granting her heart’s dearest wish—to love and be loved.

  “The only thing is, I have nothing but love to offer you, my darling. Not a paying job or a place to call my own.” Zac brushed tiny kisses against the scar on her neck. “I don’t even know where all this counseling will lead.”

  “None of us know what tomorrow holds,” she said, reveling in his embrace. “It’s called living by faith.”

  “Yes. So will you marry me and live by faith with me?” he asked. “I don’t see very well, I’m stubborn and opinionated and—”

  “And the most wonderful man God could have chosen for me,” she finished happily. “Yes and yes. When?”

  “As soon as we can arrange it.” He kissed her once more to seal their pledge and then made a face.

  “What’s that for?” she asked, enjoying the touch of his face under her fingertips.

  “The twins already announced our faux engagement,” he reminded her. “This is going to be rather anticlimactic news for everyone else.”

  “That won’t stop Mia and Zoe from telling it, though.” Abby laughed. “Not that they’ll need any help. Miss P. has probably already beaten them to it.” She fell into thought, the laughter dying.

  “What’s wrong?” Zac nudged her chin up with his knuckle. “What are you worrying about, beloved?”

  “I’m not sure I’ll make a very good missionary’s wife,” she murmured. “Not like your Maria.”

  “Maria wasn’t perfect, Abby,” Zac said. “You have the most beautiful eyes.” He blinked when she tapped his cheek. “Sorry, I got distracted.”

  She laughed at that.

  “Anyway, listen, darling. Maria had faults. She burned every meal she cooked for the first two years of our marriage. She was a lot smarter than me when it came to diagnosing and parenting, and she constantly reminded me of that fact. So what? I loved her, anyway. But she’s gone and you’re here and I love you. Is Maria going to be a problem for you?”

  “I don’t know,” Abby answered truthfully. “I wasn’t a very good wife to Ken. What if I make mistakes?”

  “What if I do? Will you forgive me?”

  “Of course. I love you.” She punctuated that with a kiss.

  “And I love you. I loved Maria, Abby, but she’s my past, just as Ken is yours.” He smiled that dear beloved smile that promised the world. “We are different people now. You are my future. I want us to work, play and grow old together. I want us to teach the twins about God. I want to help anyone who seeks me out, if I can.” He drew back to give emphasis to his next words. “But it’s only doable if you’re there with me, encouraging, helping, reminding and teaching me about my priorities.”

  “Not even your horses on the Double H could drag me away now,” she whispered before she leaned in for his kiss.

  Abby loved the way Zac held her, as if she were the most precious thing in his world. For the rest of her life she would remember this evening and the love Miss Partridge had helped them both realize.

  “What?” she murmured when he eventually drew away.

  “I was just wondering if our matchmaker made that special chocolate cake for us.” He winked at her.

  “Zac! You’re thinking about dessert at a moment like this?” She pretended to scold him, but in truth she wanted to share that special treat with him. She wanted to share every moment, every dream, every laugh and every tear with this man. “I think it’s in the fridge,” she guessed as she carried their plates to the kitchen.

  “Wrong.” Zac deposited the serving dishes on the counter, then pointed. “It’s in that big old cabinet.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because when she was grilling me on anatomy all those years ago, and was finally satisfied that I knew my lessons, she’d invite me over here for a treat and she’d always, always take it out of that cabinet.”

  Abby opened the door and started laughing. Zac looked over her shoulder. Soon he, too, was grinning from ear to ear.

  The chocolate cake was there with Congratulations! written across it in perfectly formed white letters.

  With the flourish of a maître d’ in a fancy dining room, Zac cut them each a slice. They sat together at the breakfast bar, enjoying every bite, until he put down his fork and grabbed her hand.

  “My darling, we must find Miss P. a very special man. She deserves it for doing this for us.” He paused, grinned. “And just think of the treats she’ll give us for that.”

  “You know what I love most about you, Zac?” Abby said, twining her arms around his neck.

  “What?” he demanded, kissing her chin.

  “Everything.”

  * * *

  Later they cleaned up the house before returning to the ranch to thank their dear friend for her part in their joy. Alone at last in the little log house, with the twins sleeping soundly, Abby pulled a notebook out of her bag and sat down next to Zac.

  “Serious candidates for Miss Partridge,” she said, pen at the ready.

  “A boyfriend could be our wedding present to her,” Zac murmured. “If we could find him in time.”

  “A wedding. We have to plan a wedding.” Abby’s brain glazed over as she began dreaming about her future.

  She rubbed her shoulder against Zac and turned to a new, clean page titled Wedding.

  Epilogue

  The morning of Zac’s marriage to Abby dawned bright and clear with nary a cloud in the sky. Since they were having an outdoor wedding, he thought that was a good sign. He and Drew had just finished gathering wildflowers for table decor when his phone rang.

  “Good morning, wife-to-be.”

  “Zac, I need to talk to you. It’s urgent.” Abby’s tone worried him.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked while his brain begged God to solve it, whatever it was.

  “Absolutely nothing. In fact, something is marvelous. Meet me in Peace Meadow in fifteen minutes,” she ordered briskly.

  “But we’re not supposed to see each other—”

  “Seriously?” Abby demanded, her tone scathing. “You’re going to cling to some blather about silly traditions when we serve the God of the universe?”

  “No, dear,” he answered, totally chastened. “Be there in ten.”

  “Henpecked already? Have I told you how much I love my new sister-in-law-to-be?” Drew’s grin said it was payback time. “Fantastic woman you’re marrying. Won’t let you get away with anything. Can I help?”

  “Just be there with me, at the right time. And don’t lose that ring,” Zac warned. Then he sighed. “I sure wish our brother could be here. Having Sam home would make it perfect.”

  “It’s already perfect, bro. You’re marrying the woman of your dreams. Now go do as she says.”

  “Yeah.” Zac hurried out the door and along the path, hanging on to the rope more as a memory than necessity. In Peace Meadow he saw Abby standing by the gazebo, her hair in huge rollers and some green gunk plastered over her face. “Yeow,” he said as he found a not-too-sticky spot on her cheek to kiss.

  “This mask is Miss Partridge’s idea. It’s supposed to make me beautiful.” She touched her face and grimaced. “I just hope I don’t break out.”

  “You already are beautiful, Abby.” Zac glanced around, then looked at her again. “What’s up?”

  “You do realize you’re marrying a genius, don’t you?” she demanded, her face wreathed in a grin.

  “Old news to this supernerd.” He dodged her playful swat. “So tel
l me what’s happening, genius.”

  “I had the most incredible idea this morning while I was out walking. Do you know what’s behind this gazebo?”

  “Uh, trees,” he guessed, unsure of what he was supposed to say. “And a creek.”

  “And then what?” she demanded.

  “Not Hanging Hearts land,” he said. What was going on?

  “I know but hear me out.” Abby grabbed his hand and began painting a mental picture. “What if we bought that land? We could abut Peace Meadow and build a house so we’re overlooking the meadow. A big house. With plenty of bedrooms.” She paused, waited for his response.

  “Uh—okay.” Zac stared at her, then turned to view the property.

  “We’d cut down a few of the trees, just enough for access. We could build a stone bridge so you could get across.” He must have looked confused because Abby began speaking faster and faster. “People could stay overnight with us if they needed more time with you. You could continue to see them in the meadow and your family could easily visit us. It would be perfect.”

  Zac was beginning to see her vision.

  “It would be,” he agreed quietly, hating that he had to dull her enthusiasm. “But that’s not our land, Abby.”

  “No. That’s true. It isn’t.” She grabbed his arm and tugged him along to a little space in the trees. “Look up there. To the right?”

  Zac couldn’t see anything.

  “It’s a sign,” she said with great glee. “For Sale. This could be ours, darling. We could buy it and turn it into a center where you can continue your work. It would be perfect.”

  “It would be perfect, my darling. Anywhere with you is perfect.” Zac drew her into his arms. “But, sweetheart, I don’t have the kind of money it would take to buy that land and build on it.”

  “I do.” She wrapped her arms around him and laid her sticky green cheek next to his. “More than enough to build a house for us, too.”

  “But, Abby,” he protested, drawing back. “That’s your money, from your parents. You wanted to do something to honor them.”