Enduring Light

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “Charlotte.”

  I heard the voice but didn’t understand the strange new pull.

  “Charlotte, please.”

  The pleading got me in a place it shouldn’t have—in a place that was only Calvin’s—but the voice was Liam’s. I turned to look at him, finally allowing Kevin and Henry to take Calvin’s body from me. Calvin wasn’t there—the body was just a shell. I knew that with complete certainty. I also realized that, in death, Calvin had given me not one gift but two. He’d given me my life, and he’d given me another chance at love.

  Liam fell to his knees beside me and pulled me into his arms. “Charlotte.”

  My body should have resisted, should have hated another man holding me—but it didn’t. It felt right. “How? Calvin knew, didn’t he? He did this.”

  “He made me promise. He made me promise I’d always take care of you. I’d already made that promise to myself.”

  I gripped his shirt, noticing he’d already grown taller. The connection between us was undeniable. “You’re my Gerard.”

  He nodded. “I’m not Calvin, and I never will be, but I swear to you, Charlotte, I will make you happy. We will be happy.”

  He cradled me against his chest as I cried. “I need time.”

  “You can have all the time you want. I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can remember, and I’ll be in love with you until the day we die. I can give you space, I can give you time, I can give you everything.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Kevin

  That wasn’t what was supposed to happen. That wasn’t the way it was supposed to work. Charlotte wasn’t supposed to experience such crippling heartache. She wasn’t supposed to look at me with those hollow eyes. I wanted to make it all go away, to start over and tell Dad we weren’t moving back to Charleston. But as soon as I thought it, I knew I didn’t mean it. Charlotte and I were born for our roles in Energo. The Source would have made sure we found our way there eventually. The other reason for discarding the thought was currently standing right next to me.

  Samantha squeezed my hand. “She will be all right.”

  “I hope so.”

  “She has Liam. He is her true Gerard now. He is who she has always loved, and he loves her. They will find peace.”

  “I still can’t believe… I can’t believe she almost gave her own life.”

  “She was only doing what she believed was right. You would have done the same.”

  “No. I couldn’t have done that to my family.”

  “Even if it meant saving them? That’s what she was thinking. That’s what Calvin was thinking when he took her place.”

  “I can’t believe he’s gone.” I didn’t mean Calvin, although his death wasn’t a small one. Losing Monty hit me in a place I didn’t think would ever heal. I’d spent my whole life looking up to him, and I hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye.

  She looked up at me. “It is okay to cry.”

  I nodded and lost it. I cried for Monty, for Calvin, for Percy, for Ruth, for everyone Blake had destroyed out of his relentless jealousy.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Charlotte

  Three Weeks Later

  My bed—Mom’s old childhood bed—was my home for three weeks. Under the blue quilt, I could pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist. I could wallow in my pity, my guilt, and my hatred for myself. Calvin had sacrificed himself for me. The least I could do was honor his memory. He may have made Liam my Gerard, but that didn’t mean he really wanted us to be together. He was only trying to protect me, to give even more selflessly. He’d done all that, and I hadn’t even been as good when he was alive. The memory of my kiss with Liam burned in my chest. Even if it had been the Source’s doing, I was still a participant, and I’d enjoyed it. If Calvin knew of my plan, did he know about the kiss? Could he read me better than I could read him? Had he loved me enough to overlook it? These were questions I’d never have answers to. Whatever tipped Calvin off about the meaning of the scroll had caused his sacrifice. I cursed who or whatever told him.

  Liam had come to see me several times, as had my parents and brother, but I couldn’t handle seeing anyone yet. When I wasn’t thinking about Calvin, I was thinking about Monty. I missed him so much. He’d been like a second father to me, such a large and constant part of my life, and he was gone. Losing two of the most important men in my life in a single day was too much. I didn’t want to eat, but I discovered that if I ate one meal a day, everyone left me alone.

  My door burst open, so I pulled the quilt over my head. “Go away.”

  “No!” Kevin tugged the quilt off the bed. “I will not go away.”

  I rolled over.

  “Charlotte, this has to stop!” He threw open the curtains, flooding the room with sunlight.

  “No! It doesn’t.” I started to cry again.

  “You’re acting like a spoiled brat, and I’ve had enough. Do you think the rest of us are happy about how things worked out? Do you think Mom’s thrilled that her brother’s dead? Do you think I’m jumping up and down? And Liam? How do you think he feels? He loves you so freaking much, yet you’re freezing him out like he doesn’t matter.”

  “I have nothing to offer anyone.”

  “Bullshit. What about James? You don’t have anything to offer him?”

  “Is he here?”

  “His body is. Do you think he magically woke up?”

  “I thought he would maybe… I don’t know… since Blake is dead.”

  “No. But maybe you can do something now. Didn’t you ask the Source?” He sat down on the bed next to me.

  “Not directly, but I may have an idea.” The mention of James had shocked me. I did know how to help him. Maybe someone’s life could still be saved. I sat up. “Where is he?”

  “In the great hall.” Kevin looked triumphant. “Will you finally leave this room?”

  I glanced around at the messy space. “Yes.” I got out of bed and walked toward the door.

  “Uh, Charlotte?”

  “Yes?”

  “You should probably clean up and change. We all love you, but you’re pretty disgusting.”

  I picked up a shirt from the floor and threw it at him.

  He easily caught it. “Your aim has improved.” He tossed it back onto the floor and went to the door. “I’ll see you downstairs.” He closed the door behind him.

  One glance in the mirror showed me I looked like hell. I had bathed the day before, but the dark circles under my eyes weren’t going anywhere. I just splashed some cool water on my face and tied up my hair. I stripped off my nightgown and put on the first dress I found in the closet. It was light blue. That was all Mom used to wear.

  I tentatively walked downstairs, not sure what kind of reaction would be waiting for me.

  Liam met me at the bottom of the stairs. “Charlotte?” I’d felt his presence from upstairs, and I assumed he felt mine.

  “Hi, Liam.” I tried to hold myself back, but the pull was too much.

  He took me into his arms. “Charlotte.”

  “I’m sorry.” I was apologizing for everything, but mostly for hurting him over the past few weeks.

  “I understand. Your mom thought you’d want to take things slow, that you wouldn’t want everyone rushing up to you.”

  “She knows me well.”

  “Do you want to see James now?”

  I rested my head on Liam’s chest. “I want to see him, but we need to move him to the cathedral.”

  “The cathedral?”

  “Yes, but Liam?”

  “Yeah?”

  I looked up at him. “Can someone else move him? I don’t want to separate from you now.”

  He smiled. “Of course. Let’s tell a guard.”

  Liam and I walked toward the cathedral, hand in hand. It felt so good to have his strong hand around mine. He’d always been a shoulder to cry on for me, but with Calvin’s death, he had become so much more.

  He stopped walking. �
�I have something for you.”

  I looked up at him. “You do?”

  “This.” He pulled a crystal heart out of his pocket. The trinket was made from the same iridescent crystal as the other pendants on my necklace. “I know it’s probably getting heavy, but I wanted you to have one from me, and the heart seemed symbolic, because… well, you’ve always had my heart.”

  I leaned up and kissed him. He responded immediately, and it was like I could feel everything he was feeling. I could have kissed him forever, but it was time to save James. Liam held my hand as I pushed open the door to the cathedral.

  My family waited for me inside. The last time I’d been in there, we were worried about someone barging in. That was no longer a concern. We’d taken back Bellgard.

  “Dad!” I’d seen him briefly after Calvin and Monty had died, but I’d been in such a state of shock that his presence had barely registered.

  I enjoyed the warmth of his hug before he pulled away slightly to give Mom a turn. He never actually let go, and it became more of a group hug.

  “I’m proud of you,” Mom said.

  That surprised me. I’d expected her to say she was glad I was okay or something along those lines. “For what?”

  “For having the strength to face the world again.”

  “I told you, we just had to force some sense into her.” Kevin hugged me.

  “You do realize that you are the only one who could ever get away with that, right?”

  Kevin grinned. “Yeah, I definitely do.”

  “Glad you are back, Charlotte.” Henry smiled nervously.

  I knew he wouldn’t hug me on his own accord, so I made the first move. I glanced over Henry’s shoulder and noticed James lying on a cot.

  I snapped back to reality. I had a job to do. I sorted through my new knowledge, hoping that my idea would work the way I thought it should.

  I kneeled in front of the water basin and placed my hands in the flowing current. I closed my eyes and willed the current to slow until it was barely moving. Without looking, I knew that Mom and Liam were on either side of me. Their proximity gave me extra strength and confidence.

  I opened my eyes. “Please bring James over and put him in the water.”

  Kevin put James in the water on top of my hands. I closed my eyes again and found my memory of when he’d jumped in front of me. I paused the memory long enough to figure out exactly what Blake had used against him. I reached inside myself to find energy. Only my energy would be strong enough. My experience with Blake had taught me the power of light—my light. The afterglow created by Calvin’s sacrifice had infused the river with light. If I could tap into it and combine it with my own, I could reverse even the darkest curse.

  I concentrated, trying to pull out the dark and replace it with light. I worked until I could barely hold on. I let go of him and fell back. I didn’t fall far. Without opening my eyes, I knew I was in Liam’s arms. I let myself fade out. Liam’s energy would bring me back. I’d used almost all of my own energy, but it would recharge. Like everything else, I just needed time.

  ***

  “So something tells me I missed something kind of big,” James teased. He was wrapped in a blanket, watching me when I woke up from my recharging sleep.

  “You’re okay!” I pulled him into a hug.

  “Yes, thanks to you, I hear.”

  “No, it wasn’t just me. None of this would be possible if we hadn’t taken out Blake, and I never could have done that alone.”

  “I know that, Charlotte. I just thought you might like the credit.”

  I laughed. It felt good to laugh again. “Glad to see you’re still James.”

  “Yeah, it’s still me.”

  “Good.” I finally released him, taking a few steps back to join Liam again.

  James turned to Liam. “So you are the new Gerard, huh?”

  Liam nodded. “Yes. That means you have to listen to me.”

  “Not a chance. But seriously, I’m glad it’s you. You two have been ready for each other for a long time.”

  I searched James’s face, looking for a sign of humor. “Okay, maybe you aren’t the same James.”

  “What? I can’t get sentimental sometimes?”

  I kissed him on the cheek. “You can anytime you like.”

  “Good to know.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?”

  “For you being hurt, for what happened to your father. I’m sure it’s hard on you, too.”

  He shrugged. “He was my father by blood, but he was not the same man in the end. It does look like I am out of blood relatives now, though.”

  I took his hand. “We may not be related by blood, but we’re your family.”

  He laughed. “Please do not start on that. Your kids better not call me Uncle.”

  “They will already have at least one uncle, so it’s okay.”

  “Yeah, where did Kevin go anyway? He disappeared pretty quickly.”

  Liam smiled. “I… uh… think he had a date.”

  “A date?” James asked. “With Samantha?”

  “Yes. They said they were heading to Kenset to return some dragons, but I think that was just cover for alone time.” Liam nudged me gently.

  I laughed. “I owe him big time. Sometimes it takes an older brother to knock some sense into you.”

  Liam took my hand again. “Yeah. I felt your anger but decided to stay away. You guys have your own way of dealing with things.”

  “That we do.”

  ***

  Nothing could stop the fresh tears that fell from my eyes when I knocked on the door of Calvin’s childhood home. His family would be coming to Bellgard for the official burial, but I wanted to make a trip to Rawlins first. Mom had delivered the news since I’d been too distraught, and I was riddled with even more guilt for my failure to face them myself. I wasn’t there to apologize, though.

  Mrs. Boyd took a step back when she answered the door. “Charlotte?”

  “Hello, Mrs. Boyd. I’m sorry to barge in on you like this, but…” I started crying, and so did she. We hugged for a moment.

  Mr. Boyd appeared behind his wife. “What brings you here?”

  I composed myself. “Is Nathaniel home?”

  “Nathaniel? Sure. I can get him for you.”

  Liam, James, and I waited outside. It reminded me of the time I’d waited outside with Calvin’s younger siblings. It felt like a lifetime ago that he’d brought me home to meet his family. Calvin was so full of hope, so full of dreams. I choked back sobs, and James gave me a hug. The gesture was such a non-James-like action that it worked. I stopped crying before the young teen with a startling resemblance to his older brother walked down the front steps. Liam kept his distance, and I appreciated it. As much as I needed his touch, throwing our love in the Boyds’ faces was out of the question.

  Nathanial bowed his head. “You wished to see me, my Essence?”

  I looked past him at Mr. Boyd. “Would it be possible to run this farm without Nathaniel?”

  “Without Nathaniel?” he sputtered. “I have my youngest children still, but why would you ask such a question?”

  “Calvin was the bravest, strongest man I’ve ever met. I loved him with all of my heart, and he made the ultimate sacrifice to save me and his people. I am sure that much of his strength and devotion comes from this family. Because of that, I wish to utter an edict.” I reached inside myself the way I now knew I could. I would be eternally grateful to the Source for all of the new knowledge. I had gone from the most uneducated Essence in history to the most informed. I would use the gifts for good. “From this day forward, there will be a Boyd on every Guard. Nathaniel, would you be the Boyd on mine?”

  His eyes widened. “Really? A Guardian? Me?”

  Liam pulled out Calvin’s sword. “Yes. I would be honored to have you on the Guard.”

  “Of course. Of course I will.” Nathaniel turned to his parents. Both had tears in their eyes.

&nbs
p; Liam nodded solemnly. “Then take this sword and take your place.”

  Nathaniel took the sword from Liam, and it slowly turned green, first lighter then a much brighter shade.

  “You may take a few days to prepare, but then I expect you in Bellgard for training.” It was strange hearing Liam so official, but he was taking his job seriously.