Girl at the Bottom of the Sea

by Michelle Tea

  “Mother!” Unnr turned toward the gathering and held Syrena out as if she were a child. “Look what I found!”

  “Be careful with dear Syrena!” cried a woman with long silver hair. She wore a crown of spiraling shells around her brow, and her dress seemed to be made of water itself, shifting and spilling over her like the most elegant Grecian toga. “And hello.” She addressed Sophie with a kind and crinkled face. “You are Sophia. We have great party planned for you. I hope you are ready.”

  “Party,” Sophie repeated dumbly, the word making her realize how tired she was, like even her bones were exhausted. She would maybe like a sleeping party. Maybe even a party where she’d sleep so deep she’d wake up back in Chelsea with a normal family. Normal, non-evil grandmother. Normal, cranky mom. Normal boy-crazed bestie. Pigeons that didn’t talk, creeks free of mermaids.

  But even as she had this thought, this familiar wish, she realized it didn’t quite sit with her anymore. The thought of giving up Syrena was impossible now. And to have not known Livia? To have not known Livia would be worse than having lost her. Sophie truly understood the sadness that Syrena kept so close to her heart, the loss that she cherished. Sophie had such a loss, too.

  “Meet my daughters,” Ran said. “Bara and Unnr, my waves. So strong, are they not? Strong and happy. Hard workers.”

  She turned to another girl, with wet sticky hair, crimson and heavy. She did not look happy like Bara and Unrr. “Blooughadda,” Ran said. “My right-hand maiden. Mother’s helper. Not very happy, no. But so strong. Say hello, Bloo.”

  Bloo bared her teeth at Sophie and waved one hand idly. Her fingers were topped with sticky red nails.

  “H-hi,” Sophie stuttered.

  “Dufa,” Ran continued, motioning to a giggling girl who seemed, Sophie thought, a bit drunk. She swayed this way and that, so simple and happy that Sophie thought she was perhaps not all there, that she had a child’s mind in the body of a great, gorgeous woman.

  “Dufa!” Syrena cheered at the sight of her.

  “Hel-hellooooo,” Dufa cried in a high-pitched voice, giggling at her own tipsy gait.

  Sophie turned to Syrena and whispered, “Is she—is she drunk?”

  “Drunk on the tossing of the great sea!” Dufa hiccupped cheerfully. “Drunk on the drinking of great whirlpools spinning down my gullet!”

  “Sophie!” Syrena snapped. “Is—how you say?—rude to talk about people as if they are not there! Especially Jottnar!”

  “I’m sorry,” Sophie said to the woman, who bowed at the waist as if in curtsy, then began to topple.

  “I’m Hefrig.” Another maiden stomped toward Sophie and, crouching down upon a rock, bent to offer a crushing hand for shaking. Sophie hesitantly lifted her hand in return, and found it swallowed up to her elbow by Hefrig’s mighty grasp. “I sent my sisters for you,” she said. “And I’ve been helping Papa with the feast, boiling the ale and the fish. It’s not so often we get company, you know. We couldn’t be happier. Syrena is like one of us, and one of Syrena’s is one of ours as well.”

  “Thank you,” Sophie said.

  “My turn!” shouted another maiden, who swam over to Sophie and wrapped her fully in a hug, twining her arms and legs around the girl. The sensation reminded Sophie of being at the beach with her mom, before she’d learned to swim. Revere Beach in summer, the smell of coconut tanning oil and the spray of the surf, her little-girl arms and legs wrapped tight around Andrea, who held her safe, bobbed her in the water. This was how the maiden had embraced Sophie. Except the maiden was three times larger than Sophie, who was close to smothered by her clutching.

  “Hronn!” a voice Sophie could not see hollered. “Goddess! Get it together!”

  “A girl!” Hronn squeaked, intensifying her hold on Sophie. “A real, human girl! Oh, I love you! I love you so!” And then the maiden Hronn was tugged away by a final maiden who looked upon both Hronn and Sophie with such disdain the waters turned chilly and Sophie’s teeth began to chatter.

  “This is Kolga,” Ran said proudly. “Like all my daughters, she serves her purpose.”

  “To family!” hollered a man, mostly obscured by the passel of females. He nudged his way through, a crown of coral rocky upon his head, a beard as unruly as Syrena’s hair tangling from his chin. A wide shell overflowing with ale sloshed in his palm, and with a wink at Sophie he dumped it into his mouth.

  “To family!” Syrena cheered, and all the voices followed, a roar of sound that echoed in Sophie’s ears.

  “I’m Aegir,” he bellowed, “and this is my family.”

  “We’re your family, are we?” Ran said. The lift of her eyebrow created a ripple of water. “I’d say you’re our family!” Everyone laughed, but Sophie felt a little left out, a little homesick for her own faraway family.

  Syrena swam over and grabbed her hand. “Listen, was impossible to prepare you, they are so wild, ya? But you will grow used to them. They wonderful. Let us go with them. I stay close to you, ya?”

  But Syrena did not stay close in the endless caverns. As they moved deeper into the cave that was the Jottnar palace, rooms led onto rooms, all decorated with gleaming golden artwork and sculpture, with long wooden tables set with china and crystal. Treasure chests spilled with gold and rubies, for nothing but show it seemed. Sophie’s mouth nearly watered at the sight of it. Strands of pearls and hunks of emerald, diamonds that caught the light and stung her eyes. All of it pure decoration here under the sea.

  In the largest room, all manner of creatures frolicked beneath a vaulted cathedral ceiling. Dolphins chittered and fish flopped and spun. The Billow Maidens danced, making waves that pulled and tugged Sophie this way and that. Anxiously, Sophie waited for Syrena to return, but the mermaid was glowing, deep in conversation first with Aegir and then Ran, then falling into the fawning clutches of Hronn, who covered her with kisses. Sophie spun in the currents and gazed at them all. The Jottnar were uniformly beautiful, with thick hair and clothing made of water. Shells and coral decorated their hair, too, but not in the sloppy way they hung in Syrena’s locks—the Jottnar wore fishbone tiaras and barrettes of barnacles studded with pearl. They draped themselves casually in the spoils of the treasure trunks, layering golden webs upon their bodies, then tossing them away. Even Aegir had a thin strand of diamonds bunching his long beard midway down his belly.

  Sophie had never seen Syrena so joyful. The mermaid tilted her head back and laughed. The Billow Maidens played with her hair, braiding it and tying it into knots and bows, decorating it with lengths of pearls pulled from the treasure chests as if they were nothing more than a Tupperware craft box. Golden platters were piled high with food, crabs and lobsters and fish of all sorts. Even the dolphins were part of the party, chomping the seafood right from the platters.

  Sophie was able to pick the Dola out from the pod. Still heavily decorated, a bit apart from the others, not partaking of the Jottnar feast. The Dola looks like me, Sophie thought. The Dola doesn’t belong down here, and neither do I. Sophie imagined what Ella would say about this place. She would be bored, with all these girls and not even one boy to get giddy about. She would say funny, mean things about the Billow Maidens, and probably pocket some jewels from the treasure chests. Sophie was suddenly gripped by a longing for her friend that was so great it felt like her heart had hiccupped. She should bring her back a trinket, a souvenir. What would Ella want? Sophie rummaged through the great chest, picking through golden coins and diamond crowns. Maybe she should bring her two souvenirs, Sophie thought—one to pawn for all the money it could bring her, and one to keep for herself.

  Sophie felt Kolga approach before she saw her. The water turned suddenly cold, like bathwater that had been sitting for hours. Sophie shivered and turned, and there she was. Her eyes were blue, as were her lips, and even her skin seemed like she wore grayish blush on her cheeks. Still, she was beautiful. She smirked at Sophie.

  “You like our jewels, do you?” she said in a chilly voice.

>   “Well, yes,” Sophie said. “They’re beautiful. You have so many.”

  “Years and years and years of treasure,” Kolga sighed. “So much of it was here before I was even born. But Mother brings back more with every wreck. Sailors used to pad their pockets with gold, you know, back in the day. So that if the ship wrecked they would have gifts for Mother, and she might be pleased and spare them.”

  “Did she?” Sophie asked hesitantly, glancing over at Ran, who was dancing with Hefrig, spinning by their elbows, holding crab claws in their fists. She seemed the very source of happiness. Sophie couldn’t imagine her wrecking a ship, drowning its passengers, stealing its bounty.

  “Of course not,” Kolga said snippily. “It doesn’t work like that. You can’t buy your way out of destiny. Mother does what the Dola tells her. But humans always think that things will save them.” She said things with terrible scorn in her voice. “Take what you want,” she said to Sophie, but it was not a warm offer. “We don’t care about such stuff down here. We play with it, but it doesn’t mean anything to us.”

  Sophie felt herself growing angry with this snobby maiden. “Easy for you to say,” she snapped. “When you have so much. Things like this”—she looked around at the trunks of riches—“they help people on the earth. It—it buys them things.”

  “See?” Kolga said, raising an icy eyebrow. “Things to buy more things. Humans. Ridiculous.”

  “Some things are necessary,” Sophie said, her voice rising. “People need real things, like food, or, or they need to pay rent, or pay to have lights in their house, so they can see, and they need to pay to see the doctor if they’re sick, and a lot of people can’t afford those things—”

  “Well, it sounds awful,” Kolga said. “Human life. Why don’t you all do something about it if you hate it so much?”

  “It’s not that easy,” Sophie said hotly. This maiden was impossible. “Do you even know any humans?”

  “I walk amongst you from time to time,” Kolga said in a bored voice. “But the things that interest you—it’s like being amongst babies. I’d rather stay down here with my sisters.”

  “Well, we wouldn’t like you, either!” Sophie said, and began piling chunky strands of gems around her neck. The stones were so heavy they cut into her collarbone. “And I guess I’ll just help myself to these, then, if you’re so above it all.”

  Kolga laughed, a string of frosty bubbles. She waved her blue-gray hand at Sophie, as if dismissing her.

  “I’m walking away,” Sophie said, “but I’m walking away because I don’t want to talk to you. Not because you did that.” Sophie swished her hand back at the maiden and stumbled away, her gait off balance with the heft of the jewels piled around her neck. She made her way to Syrena, who was speaking with Unnr in a low, happy voice.

  “Sophie!” the mermaid welcomed. “We were just to speak of you!”

  Unnr took note of Sophie’s scowl and the hefty pile of jewels around her neck.

  “Ah… were you just talking to Kolga?” the maiden asked.

  “To talk to Kolga is to fight with Kolga!” Syrena said.

  “She’s terrible!” Sophie spat. “I don’t understand how you all live down here, stealing treasures from people and drowning them, and then you act so happy to see me. Syrena, I want to leave!”

  Unnr turned to Syrena and gave a sad little smile. “See?” She said. “It is very hard for us to be friendly with the humans, for this reason. They don’t understand.”

  “But Sophie is Odmieńce,” Syrena said. “A great race, like Jottnar. Sophie—” She smiled at the girl, placing a tender hand on Unnr’s arm. “Jottnar much like Odmieńce. You practically cousins. Old, old people.”

  Ran drifted over to them and handed a lobster tail to Sophie. “Here, my love. Eat up.”

  “But you kill people,” Sophie accused.

  “Sophie!”

  “How is this different than Kishka!” the girl demanded. “Kishka and her evils?”

  “Kishka!” Ran gasped. “Oh, dear. Kishka—Kishka is of a different nature than the Jottnar. We are of the sea, we are the sea. We do the sea’s bidding. The sea gives life and takes life, and we are its servants. In return, the sea gives us joy, and health, and family.”

  “And, like, a billion dollars worth of gold and diamonds,” Sophie grumbled.

  “Yes, true. They add much beauty. And I do adore beauty.”

  “She was talking to Kolga,” Unnr said to her mother.

  “Oh, my Kolga. I think humans would say she was born without a heart. But it is how she serves the sea. She makes its waters cold, and the shock of it helps the sailors go quicker. She is a mercy in her way. All my daughters help me.”

  “Me and Bara just sort of manage things,” Unnr offered. “Bloo is mostly lazy, but she is helpful when the ships are battling. She only helps when there is war.”

  Sophie looked over at the maiden with the sticky red hair. She ate not from a platter of cooked fish but chomped into live ones, eating them slowly.

  “Wars are hard,” Ran said. “They are Kishka’s work. But we cooperate with the sea, and we help to end it as swiftly as possible. Most of my daughters cannot bear the wars. To die by the sea, that is natural, destiny. To die by war, it is the work of evil. I am grateful that Bloo is so capable, to help with those calls.”

  “Dufa stirs the waters to confuse the sailors, spin them down.” Unnr said. “This helps the boats sink. Hefrig is more of a clobberer. She’s good if it is taking too long. She moves things along with a swift punch. And Hronn, she brings the sailors down. The last thing they know is Hronn’s embrace.”

  “I have more daughters,” Ran said proudly. “Bylgia works out in the deep, pushing the boats toward us. And Himinglaeva, she is the most beautiful. She floats along the vessels and brings pleasure at the sight of her. She brings the stars down to her belly and shimmers. She is delightful. I do wish you could meet all of my children. But—” She smiled at Syrena. “You are so close with my tenth daughter, the mermaid Syrena. I feel as if she is my own.”

  “After Griet,” Syrena said, “after all that happen, I stay here for so long. I learn to cook food like Jottnar do, and make ale. I help with all the maidens, like, what you call—nanny? So many little maidens! Make me quite crazy. But so very nice to be among others. To know and see love, like I had for Griet. I thought my love was gone. It could have infected my heart and made me go bad. This is what Kishka hopes will happen. She hopes that we are weak-hearted, that we tip ourselves into hate. I could have gone about and brought pain to humans for what they did to Griet. And my wrath would double up inside my heart till it was huge and rotten inside me. Kishka would have sunk her teeth into me then, and I would not even know! But I come here—I see love. I learn my heart strong. Too strong for hatred.” The mermaid laid her head on Unnr’s arm.

  “You do seem very good,” Ran nodded, observing the mermaid. “Even better than last time, yes? You seem—happier.”

  “Is her.” Syrena pointed a long, elegant finger at Sophie. “She do something. She try to take away all my pain, pain for Griet, and for other loss. Not good, but also, she do take away some bad things. We all have little bits of dirt on our hearts, ya? Sophie clean them up.”

  “And I will clean you up!”

  Sophie ducked out of the way as Dufa came twisting toward Syrena, holding a great, lumpy sponge in her hands. “You are a mess! I never seen you look so scabby!”

  Ran smiled and nodded as her daughter got busy loofahing the dried, torn scales from Syrena’s tail. And to Sophie’s surprise, Syrena seemed glad at the attention, smiling with pleasure as her scales started to shine.

  Sophie noticed, as she bent to the mermaid, that Dufa’s legs beneath her watery dress were also somewhat scaled, and her toes were webbed. Her hands too, clutching and working the sponge, had bits of shining web between the fingers. A look around at the others showed Sophie that all the Jottnar had these attributes—shining scales that climbed their
legs beneath their clothing, and webbing that fanned their fingers and toes.

  Sophie shivered as Kolga approached the two of them, holding a comb fashioned from fish bones. She began working the tangles from Syrena’s hair. Unnr left to fetch a hollow piece of coral filled with something fatty she smeared across Syrena’s tail, following the path of Dufa’s sponge. Syrena sighed and—Sophie could not believe the sound—giggled.

  “You maidens spoil me so,” she said happily.

  “And what of you?” Sophie turned to see Bloo, the most fearsome of the maidens, staring her down. “What is it you need?”

  “Uh… nothing,” Sophie said. “I’m good. I’m just a girl. I don’t have, you know, tail problems or anything.”

  “Your hair is insulting,” Bloo said. “I must fix it.” And without asking permission, the maiden pulled a comb from her own crimson hair. She lifted the hem of her watery dress to wash away the sticky red from the tines. Blood, Sophie realized with a shiver. That’s blood in her hair.

  Bloo went to work sternly, pulling apart the great tangles that had snarled Sophie’s hair. The girl protectively shielded the octopus. “Be careful,” she said weakly.

  “What is that octopus doing living on your head? We should eat him.”

  “No!” Sophie cried. “I like him. Please.”

  “And this?” Blooughadda held up the lock of Sophie’s hair holding Livia’s feather.

  “Leave that!” Sophie snapped, tugging it away from the maiden. “That is my power.”

  Bloo smiled, her lips lifting up over her fanged teeth. “Well, well,” she said. “Perhaps she is Odmieńce after all.”

  “Of course I’m Odmieńce,” Sophie said haughtily. She was getting sick of these snotty maidens. “I turned myself into a shark and bit Kishka’s head off!”

  “Did you?” Bloo asked, her bloodshot eyes wide.