by Bella Jewel
Jack shifts uncomfortably beside me.
“Just seein’ what you’re up to,” he says, glaring at Jack.
He’s wearing boots that are undone, laces strewn over my floor. His jeans have rips in them and his shirt is tight and black, but God does he look rugged, and masculine, and hot. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Rainer look so hot. My heart stammers in my chest.
“That’s none of your business,” I bite out. “Can you leave?”
“No. Your dad asked me to watch out for you, and I don’t think he’d like you alone in here with him.” He jerks a thumb at Jack.
He’s a giant liar. My dad doesn’t even like Rainer, and he knows it. Also, my dad doesn’t give a shit what I do because he’s an emotionless dick.
“I think I should go,” Jack says, standing.
“I think you should, too.” Rainer grunts.
“Rainer!” I snap. “Can you please leave?”
“No.”
He keeps his arms crossed. I grind my jaw, wanting to throttle him. Jack turns to me, and smiles. “Let him act like a dick. We had a good time and he hates that he can’t control that. I’ll call you, okay?”
“What did you fuckin’ say?” Rainer barks.
I leap up and place a hand in the middle of his chest. “Enough,” I growl.
Jack glares at him, then leans down and kisses my cheek. “Good night, beautiful.”
I inwardly sigh. “Night, Jack.”
He walks to my door and swings it open, letting himself out. As soon as the door has closed, I spin on Rainer. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Me?” he yells. “What were you thinking? First date and you’re in here letting him grope you?”
“He wasn’t groping me, you tool. We were going to kiss but we never even got that far because you jumped in here and acted like a twat.”
“He shouldn’t have been in here, Emy.”
“You know what?” I screech. I’ve had enough of this. “I’m fucking done with this, Rainer. Done with it. You don’t get to decide who I do things with, and I’m sick to death of you being an asshole. Get out.”
“Jesus, I was just—”
“Get out!” I scream. “I’m so tired of you. Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
His eyes widen, because I’ve never screamed at him before. “Jesus, Emy, I didn’t realize it meant that much to you.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” I yell, and my voice hitches at the end. “You’ve been kissed, you’ve been with people, you’ve made love, I’ve done none of it because no one wants to do it with me. No one wants . . .” My voice wavers and he steps closer. “No one likes me. I’m not pretty enough. Not good enough. Not popular enough. He was willing to kiss me. He was willing to give me that when no one else will and you took it away. That’s not fair. That might be my only chance. And you t-t-t-took it away.”
He takes another step forward and leans down so his eyes are level with mine. “You’re wrong about the lot of it. You’re more than good enough to have all of those things and more. Jesus, Emy, you’re better than anyone I know. And if you think he’s the only one who will ever want to give you that, you’re wrong. But I get it. You wanted it, and I ruined it. So there’s only one thing I can do to make that up.”
“There’s nothing you can do,” I whisper, dropping my head.
He takes my chin in his hands and lifts my face so my eyes meet his. “There is. I can give you what I took away.”
Before I can say anything or protest, he steps forward and lowers his mouth at the same time. His lips hit mine, and I’m so stunned I just stand there, completely shocked. His mouth is hot, really hot, and he smells amazing. I respond without even thinking, opening my mouth to let his tongue in. I’ve never been kissed before, and the feeling is foreign. His tongue is soft, and his lips are warm but slightly scratchy.
It feels nice.
Really nice.
He pulls back before I get the chance to enjoy it just a second longer. We’re both panting and when our eyes meet, I feel something tugging at my heartstrings. It’s probably just fondness for him. I adore Rainer. I always will. Yes, that’s it.
I smile weakly and he gives me a lazy half-grin in return. Then he surprises me by pressing a kiss to my forehead before turning and walking back to my window.
“I won’t screw shit up for you again, Emy,” he says, sliding it up. “You deserve whatever you want.”
With that, he leaps through the opening.
And my heart gives me another strange tug.
~*~*~*~
“So let me get this right,” Kenny says, skipping beside me as we walk to school on Monday. “Jack went to kiss you, but Rainer interfered and ended up being the one to kiss you?”
I shrug. “Something like that. He was just being nice because he ruined my first kiss.”
“Uh-huh,” he says. “Or maybe he wanted to kiss you.”
“Dude, no. Rainer and I are friends. Trust me, it was a friend kiss.”
Except the tongue. God, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the tongue.
“Or . . .” he says. “He likes you.”
“Trust me, I know him. He doesn’t. He’s all up in Missy’s space.”
Kenny snorts. “Slut.”
“Right?” I grin.
We reach the school grounds and Kenny splits, heading to his group of friends who play chess before class. I go in the opposite direction, weaving through the cars and making my way towards the front doors. I’m just about there when a hand lashes out, curling around my wrist and tugging me backwards. I yelp and spin around, jerking my hand back, to see Missy and a group of her friends standing by a bright yellow car.
“Can I help you?” I mutter, glaring at her.
“Yes, you can,” she says, throwing her hands on her hips. “I want to know what your relationship is with my guy.”
“Your man?” I snort.
She flicks her perfect hair over her perfect damned shoulder. “Yes, Rainer. My man.”
I roll my eyes. Rainer would love to know she’s strutting around calling him that.
“Rainer is my best friend. Deal with it.”
“Yeah,” she says, laughing bitterly. “See, I have a problem with that. I don’t like my man having female friends, especially when he leaves me to climb through her window . . .”
“He often climbs through my window,” I say in a taunting tone. “In fact, he spends a lot of time sleeping in my bed with me.”
Her face goes bright red and she nods to a big, butch friend. That friend steps forward and before I realize what’s happening, she slams me towards the nearest car so hard my head jerks back and bangs into it. Missy gets up in my face, while her butch friend holds me. “Listen up, you geeky, ugly little nerd. Rainer is mine. I don’t like your part in his life, and I’m not going to ask you twice to change it. This will be your only chance. Stay away from him, cut your friendship with him, or you’ll have me to answer to.”
“You?” I wheeze. “You mean your big, butch friend here? Because last time I checked, you had no balls and had to hire a gorilla from the local zoo to do your dirty work.”
Okay, so I probably asked for the punch that butch bitch lands to my gut after my crude comments. A pained grunt leaves my mouth and pain shoots through my stomach and ribs. It’s sharp and intense. That can’t be good.
“What did you say about me?” Butch growls.
“Only the truth.” I gasp between pants.
She hits me again, this time harder. My legs go out from beneath me, and I crumple to my feet as she lets me go. Pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt rips through my belly and tears burst to my eyes. Missy leans down and yells, “Stay away from him, or it’ll be worse!”
Then she rallies up her friends and disappears into the school.
Great. Just great.
~*~*~*~
I can’t stand, because it hurts way too much. The bell has already gone, and everyone has cleared out, so it’s just m
e, pressed against a stranger’s car, gasping for air. My stomach hurts, and I think there’s a bruise or two forming. Maybe one of my ribs is broken. That girl can punch. I need to get up, go home and rest this one out. It’ll teach me for opening my big mouth.
The sound of a rumbling truck catches my attention, and I jerk my head up to see Rainer pulling into the parking lot. Late, as always. Of course he would choose today, a day when I really don’t need him to see me. I try to shift, but the pain really is too much. Maybe I’ll just act casual, as if I’m sitting here being a rebel and skipping class.
I watch as he jumps out of his car, a few of his friends getting out behind him. They’re laughing and smoking, completely oblivious to me. Hopefully it stays that way. They start to walk off, when one of his friends, Jimmy I think his name is, says, “Isn’t that your friend, Rainer?”
Rainer turns and fixes his eyes on me, and I watch as they narrow. Great. Really. Great. He waves his friends on and then tosses his pack on the back of his truck before jogging over to my side. When he stops in front of me, his brown eyes scan over me, before he asks, “What’re you doin’ here, Emy? Class has started.”
“Ah,” I say and my voice comes out pained. “I’m, just . . . chilling.”
I’m a bad liar.
He narrows his eyes. “Chilling? I don’t think so. I know you better than that. What’re you really doing?”
Shit.
“I, ah, just fell. Hurt my ankle.”
“Shit,” he says, kneeling. “You should have called me.”
He lifts my ankle and inspects it, frowning because there’s not any swelling. He puts it back down and lifts the other, causing my body to jerk a little. A pained groan leaves my throat and I press a hand to my stomach without even thinking. He drops my ankle and reaches over, grabbing my shirt. I try to slap his hand away, but he’s too quick. He lifts it and his eyes flare with rage as he sees the dark bruises starting to form.
“What the fuck happened to you?”
I wave a hand. “I fell.”
“Bullshit. Do you think I’m stupid? My dad has knocked me around enough for me to know when something is there from a fist and not a simple trip. Who did this?”
“Rainer, come on, it’s fine.”
His eyes flash with rage and he barks, “Who did this, Emalie?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re lying!”
“Rainer please,” I say and much to my horror, a tear slides down my cheek.
“Fuck,” he says, leaning over and scooping me into his arms. “Sorry.”
“Why are you carrying me?” I manage through choked tears.
“Because you’re hurt. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“I don’t need the hospital,” I protest. “I just need sleep.”
He frowns. “You could have internal damage.”
“I’m fine. Please, Rainer. Just take me home.”
He stares down at my face and his jaw tics. “You’re not going to tell me who did this, are you?”
I shake my head, looking away.
“I don’t like it, Emy. Don’t fuckin’ like it at all.”
“I know,” I say softly.
He places me in his truck gently, and I wince in pain as I’m forced to move.
Neither of us say anything more, but I know how much this is bothering him.
I just can’t tell him who did it.
CHAPTER NINE
NOW – MALI
I can’t take my eyes off him, no matter how hard I try—and believe me, I’m trying. There’s an air about him that just can’t be unseen. He moves across the ring with grace, his big body flexing and pulling. Max moves with a more determined, fierce aggression, but Rainer? It’s as if he was born for it. The two of them dance around each other like lions, sizing each other up. I honestly don’t know how they can bring themselves to fight when they’re good friends outside of the ring.
“How hot are they?” Belle asks, leaning in so she can talk in my ear over the roaring of the crowd.
I nod. “Hot. I can’t believe they are so at ease in there.”
“Would you believe that Rainer and Max hated each other only weeks ago? They got into a massive fight one night, because Max thought I was sleeping with Rainer, which I obviously wasn’t. Anyway, after the fight, Max decided to take Rainer on, because he fought so well.”
I raise my brows. “Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“I never thought Rainer would be much of a fighter. Not that I don’t think he can’t do it, because he can, he just usually tries so hard to keep his cool.”
She smiles. “I think it’s his way of expelling pent-up energy. Rainer is calm only because he doesn’t know any other way to be.”
“Do you know him well then?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Not well. All I know is he and Pippa have a long past that’s ugly. Pippa hasn’t gone into detail with me, but the two of them grew close due to a life experience together. I think she’ll tell me about it one day when she’s ready.”
So I was right. Pippa and Rainer have connected over something. I just want to know what that something is. I’m not sure Pippa is going to offer that information up easily. I mean, if she hasn’t told Belle, there’s a good chance she’s not going to tell anyone. Which could make things difficult. She holds the answers, all of them, but I have no idea how to get them out of her.
I focus back on the ring just in time to see Rainer drive a swift punch into Max’s face. I gasp, pressing a hand over my mouth, horrified but fascinated all at the same time. Max returns the favor, ducking and slamming a fist into Rainer’s belly. The two of them fight hard then, fists flying, legs swinging, bodies dodging.
And it’s mesmerizing.
As I watch Rainer’s big body move, I get hotter and hotter. He’s so beautiful, so graceful and yet so deadly. His face is a hard mask and his muscles flex and pull as he moves around the ring as if he was born ready for it. I press a hand over my heart as the fight comes to a close, with Rainer taking the win. The crowd erupts in screams and the sound is deafening.
“Holy shit, if I didn’t love my husband so much, I’d wish I was the lucky girl getting to take all that energy tonight,” Belle says staring at Rainer.
Yes, I wonder what it would be like to fuck him right now, while he’s hot and bothered like that.
“She’ll be very lucky indeed,” I agree, keeping my eyes on him.
He spits some blood from his mouth and his eyes scan the crowd. My heart flutters. Is he looking for me? His eyes move straight past me, and focus on Pippa, and that’s when I see it. There’s a softness there, a deep, intense softness that can only mean one thing. Rainer is in love with her. I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier, and at the realization, something breaks inside me.
I’ve never seen him look at anyone like that.
God dammit, what am I doing here? What am I trying to prove?
“I need some fresh air,” I say to Belle, before turning and shoving through the crowd.
I push towards the stairs and shove my way through person after person, desperate to get out. There’s a deep pain in my chest that I didn’t realize had gotten so intense. It was okay when Rainer was just Rainer, it was okay that I didn’t know his past, and it was okay that he didn’t remember me. But what’s not okay is the idea that he is in love with another woman. And he is. Hard. His eyes expressed a longing for her that I would die to have aimed at me.
A tear bursts forth and I keep pushing through the crowd until I reach the front door. The moment the cool, spring breeze hits my face, I gasp it in, taking big, painfully large lungfuls of it until my hands stop trembling. I can’t stop the tears through. I stumble on my heels and an agony unlike anything I’ve ever felt tugs on my heart, seeming to suffocate me from the inside out. I mutter excuse mes to the crowd of people until I’m by the road.
I look left, and then right. I can’t see any cabs. I guess I’m going to have
to call one. I fumble for my phone when a presence comes up behind me. I feel it so strongly, and I know before he speaks that it’s him. Why the hell would he come after me? He doesn’t even remember my face, so why the hell should he care what happens to me? My body goes stiff, but I keep my eyes focused on the road.
“Everything okay?” he asks, his voice low and thick. “I saw you rush out. Are you sick?”
He’s just being a good citizen. Of course he is. Why the hell wouldn’t he do the gentlemanly thing and make sure I’m safe? I want to scream in frustration, but I just keep my eyes to the road.
“I’m fine,” I say, but my voice is thick and broken. “I just need to get home.”
He curls his fingers around my arm and spins me towards him. He’s still shirtless, seemingly unaffected by the group of girls who have stopped to gawk at him. He’s got sweat running down his chest, his face is slightly bruised, and there’s a little blood around his lip. He smells incredible. Like a man would smell right after sex. Wild sex.
“You’re crying,” he says, studying my face, running those gorgeous brown eyes over me as if he truly cares.
“And?”
His brows furrow. “Something upset you.”
“Yes, but it’s fine. I’m going to go home. Great fight.”
He doesn’t let me go. “You’re hiding something, aren’t you?”
I flinch. “I beg your pardon?”
“You . . . you have something in your eyes. Hurt. I don’t know what from, but I effect you somehow.”
God, he’s too smart for his own good. He always was. He used to be able to read me like a book and it would seem it’s the same now. I look away, because if I meet his eyes, I’m afraid he’ll see the pain in their depths. The real pain. The pain of knowing the man I love so dearly is in love with another woman.
“You just remind me of someone I . . . loved.”
He’s silent for a moment. “Did something happen to him?”
“Something like that,” I whisper.
“I’m sorry I bring back painful memories.”
My eyes flash up to his. “No, not it’s not like that at all. Believe it or not, I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.”