by Bella Jewel
His eyes study my face, and his mouth softens slightly, lips parting just a touch. “Yeah,” he finally says. “I think you’re pretty good too.”
“Anyway,” I say, forcing a smile. “I should get home.”
“You got a ride?”
I shake my head. “I’ll call a cab.”
“No,” he says. “I’ll take you.”
“No Rainer, it’s fine. We . . . you don’t have to do that.”
He puts a hand up. “Least I can do.”
“I don’t want to push this,” I protest as he pulls a cell phone from his pocket. I have no idea how that got there. It certainly couldn’t have been there when he was fighting. He must have grabbed it on his way out after me. “You and I . . . we agreed that we would just act casual about all of this, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing for more or that any of this is an act . . .”
“Do you always talk so much, Mali?” he says, his eyes twinkling with amusement. I haven’t seen that twinkle since we were younger.
My heart swells a little. “No,” I say sheepishly.
He presses his phone to his ear and a second later, he says, “Pip, hey, any chance you could do me a big favor?”
My heart squeezes. Dammit.
“Yeah, I need to take Mali home, but my keys are in my locker. Are you still down there?”
He smiles, his eyes so bright, so into every single word she’s saying.
“Thanks, beautiful.”
Beautiful. Oh God that hurts.
“Out front.”
He hangs up and turns back to me, and I force another smile as we wait. Less than five minutes later, Pippa appears, looking like a fallen angel. She smiles at us and walks over, handing Rainer his keys. “Thanks, gorgeous,” he says, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead.
“No problem.” She smiles. “Is everything okay, Mali?”
“I think I just drank those cosmos a little fast. I have a belly-ache,” I lie.
Her face flashes with genuine concern. God dammit, I’m so jealous of her, but I can see why he adores her. She’s got a beautiful personality.
“Oh no,” she says. “I hope you’re going to be okay?”
I nod. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for tonight, Pippa. I had a great time.”
She steps out of Rainer’s arms with a smile up at him, and walks over, hugging me too. She’s so tiny, even next to someone petite like me. I hug her back and then watch as she flashes Rainer a warm, affectionate look, before disappearing into the club.
“Ready?” he asks.
As I’ll ever be.
~*~*~*~
“You’re in love with Pippa?”
I say this as we travel down the long, dark road back towards the main center of the city. Rainer’s fingers tighten on the steering wheel.
“What makes you think that?”
I laugh softly. “I’ve seen people in love, Rainer. I saw the way you looked at her.”
“Doesn’t matter how I looked at her. She’s in love with another man.”
“That wasn’t the question I asked,” I say carefully.
“Yeah, I’m in love with her. I’ve been in love with her for years.”
Even though I was expecting it, those words burn. I’m thankful the car is dark, so he can’t see the pain flash across my face.
“How come nothing ever happened?” I go on, wanting more information but hating what might come of it.
“Because it was a bad situation, and by the time I found her again, she was in love with Tyke.”
“Did she ever feel the same?”
He’s silent a while. Then he says, “No.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, because I really am. I know exactly how that feels.
“Don’t be. It was in the past.”
“Is that why you don’t see other women on a more permanent basis?”
He grunts. “I thought we were just friends, Mali?”
My back goes up. “We are. I’m not asking because I’m interested. I was just curious.”
He goes silent again. “Sorry. That was rude.”
I fall silent now, too, and we ride like that until we pull up at my apartment. It’s dark inside, which means Mimi is out or asleep. Probably asleep. She loves her sleep.
“Well,” I say, reaching for the handle, “thanks, Rainer.”
He doesn’t say anything, and I go to push the door open when he asks a question that pauses me right in the middle of it.
“Can I come up?”
Oh God.
I turn and look at him, and he’s studying me. I want to ask a thousand questions, like why the hell he wants to come up, and when he does, what is it he wants to do? But I ask none of them, not because I don’t desperately want the answers, but because as far as I know, Rainer doesn’t sleep with the same woman twice, which means I’m slightly different.
I can take that.
“Yeah,” I say softly.
Then I climb out of the car.
He follows me.
CHAPTER TEN
THEN – MALI
“Please, Eva, just be nice,” I moan to my sister, who is standing behind me, both of us meeting each other’s eyes in the mirror.
“Don’t you trust me, Emalie?” She grins, her eyes flickering with amusement.
“I do, but I want to look nice on this date, not like a clown . . .”
She wiggles her eyebrows. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Please, can you just be a sister for once?”
Her eyes flash a little and she nods. “I won’t make you look horrible, Mali. I promise.”
I nod and we both stare back towards the mirror. She takes my hair in her hands, and runs her fingers over the light blond locks. “I don’t know if there are a great deal of ways I can put this up, but I can give it style.”
My hair is short, sitting around the tops of my shoulders. I have it that way because it’s easier, and I don’t like to have it long. I am way too lazy for that upkeep.
“Okay,” I say, warily.
“Trust me. It’ll look great.”
“I hope so, because I’m not doing a good job at this as it is.”
She pulls out a straightening iron and plugs it in, switching it on. She puts a heap of product in my hair and starts talking as she works.
“This Jack, is he the one you had here the other week?”
I nod.
“The one Rainer sent packing?”
“You heard that, huh?” I sigh.
She nods. “It was hard to miss it.”
“Yeah, I guess it was.”
She runs the iron over my hair, and the warmth makes me tingle.
“Why does he do that?” she asks.
“Rainer?”
“Yeah.”
I shrug. “I have no idea. He said he’s looking out for me.”
“Sometimes you need to trust guys, Mali. He might know what he’s talking about.”
“Yeah, maybe, but I’m not going to just jump Jack’s bones. I’m not stupid.”
She says nothing, but I see her nod. She focuses back on my hair and our mother pops her head through the door, staring at both of us with a shocked expression on her face. Eva and I don’t often get along, being that we’re two completely different people. The only reason Eva agreed to do this was because she loves fashion, and what better than a makeover? I think this is the longest amount of time we’ve spent together since we were kids.
“What are you girls up to?” Mom asks, looking amazing in her peach-colored blouse over a cream ruffled top.
“Emalie is going on a date,” Eva points out.
Mom’s eyes get big. “You are?”
She probably thought I was a lesbian. I wouldn’t blame her. I’ve never shown a great deal of interest in boys, not because I wasn’t interested, but just because I didn’t know how to handle them. It was easier for me to act like one then to try and get romantic with one.
“Yes. It’s nothing major,” I say, f
lushing.
“Well, you’ll need something to wear,” she says, her eyes lighting up.
Shit, here we go.
“No, Mom,” I groan. “I’ll just wear jeans.”
“You can’t wear jeans!” she gasps.
“Why not?”
Her face, oh God her face. It’s hilarious.
“Tonight you’re going to let me help you, like it or not. If you want to impress this young gentleman, then you need to look nice.”
Young gentleman. God. Kill me now.
“Okay, Mom.” I sigh, because I know there’s no stopping her when she gets something in her head, and besides, it’s kind of nice to have their attention on me.
“I have the perfect dress,” Eva says, finishing up my hair. “I’ll get it.”
Mom replaces Eva’s spot when she disappears, and starts flicking my hair around. “You have beautiful hair, Emalie. You should let it grow out.”
I stare at my hair in the mirror, and it actually looks nice. Mostly I throw it up in a low ponytail but now it’s flowing nicely around my shoulders, with little flicks on the end. It’s pretty. My fringe is swept to the side, falling softly near one eye. I barely recognize myself.
“Turn around. I’m going to put a little makeup on.”
Oh man.
I hate makeup.
Mom spins my chair around and digs through Eva’s drawers until she finds the expensive makeup my sister refuses to leave the house without. She finds a chair and brings it over in front of me. There she starts puffing powders and creams and blushes on my face. I keep my eyes closed until she asks for them to be open for the mascara.
“There,” she says after about twenty minutes. “Oh Emalie . . . you look so beautiful.”
I look over to Eva, whose eyes widen. “Holy shit, sister. You look good.”
Nerves tighten in my chest as I turn towards the mirror. I gasp when I see my reflection. I’d hardly recognize myself if I didn’t know it was me. I blink a few times, sure I’m seeing it wrong. I have to be. Because like this, I look as beautiful as Eva, maybe even more. That’s not something I ever thought was possible.
My eyes, which are a greeny blue, seem brighter with the soft bronze and grey tones near my eyes. The mascara makes my lashes look long, and luscious. My cheeks are lightly blushed and my lips have a coating of soft pink lipstick. I look . . . pretty. Eva thrusts a dress in front of me and I tear my eyes from the mirror and look at it. “Ah,” I say in a shaky voice, because I hate dressed and even worse, I hate short ones.
“Trust me, if you want to impress him, you need to wear this.”
I stare at the black number and swallow. I’ve seen Eva in it and it make her look amazing, but me . . . I don’t know. I don’t have the curves.
“Get some shoes, too,” Mom orders.
Eva disappears into her closet and I stand with trembling fingers and take the dress, holding it up. “I don’t know.”
“Trust me,” Mom says. “Your sister knows what she’s talking about.”
I take a deep breath and then disappear into the bathroom to change. I drop my jeans and baggy shirt, and slide on the dress. It’s tight at the top, making my breasts poke up way too far. The swell is on view for everyone to see. The black dress stays tight right down to my waist and then it flares out. It’s above my knees, and seems like a 50s-style dancing dress, but it is pretty.
With a deep breath, I turn and glance in the mirror.
I lose my breath.
That girl . . . she’s not me. No . . . that girl is up there with Missy and Eva. She’s the kind of girl who can catch a man’s eye. It can’t be me.
“Here,” Eva says, barging in. She stops when she sees me. “Holy . . . look at you.”
“I don’t know,” I breathe.
She takes my shoulders and spins me around. “Come on, your beau just got here.”
My heart starts hammering. “I don’t know, it’s just a party and . . .”
“Trust me, you’ll knock them all dead.”
I swallow and take the shoes she thrusts at me. They’re strappy and silver, but not too high, thankfully. I quickly put them on, then I take the purse she hands me that matches the outfit.
“Don’t wreck my stuff, or I’ll kick your ass,” she warns as I rush out.
There she is. That’s my true sister.
I wave at her and rush down the stairs, trying not to trip as I go. I reach the bottom and stop dead as I see Jack, standing, looking handsome in a pair of denim jeans and a tight black tee. He’s smiling big, and when he sees me, something happens in his eyes. Something amazing. They flash with shock, then surprise, then they grow warm. Really warm.
“Emalie,” he breathes. “Wow. Just . . . wow.”
I smile shyly for the first time in my life, and I honestly don’t know what to do. I fidget and he notices, so he comes over with a warm smile and gently puts his hands on my shoulders, leaning forward and brushing his lips against my forehead. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Let’s get going.”
He turns me and I catch my Mom smiling at me with pride. She’s never done that before. It feels good. My chest swells and I smile at her, before letting Jack lead me out. He takes me to a small, red convertible and opens the door for me. “My lady.” He grins.
“Thank you, kind sir.”
I climb in and he goes around, jumping in his side. He pulls out onto the road and I laugh with joy as the wind blows through my hair. Jack laughs and reaches over, taking my hand. My chest swells with happiness and I have decided this just might be the best moment of my life. We ride, talking and laughing the entire way to the party being held at a frat house.
“You ready?” Jack asks, getting out of the car.
“Yes.”
I’m nervous, so horribly nervous. What if someone teases me? What if they think I’m a big joke? God. This is scary and exhilarating all at the same time. Jack opens my door for me and then reaches in, extending his hand. “Are you ready?”
“I really don’t know.”
He smiles. “Stick with me. I’ll take care of you.”
God, I hope so.
~*~*~*~
“This frat house is huge,” I say to Jack, keeping hold of his hand as we walk through.
“Yeah. I can’t wait for college for this.”
“Me too.” I smile, sipping the beer from the plastic red cup he got me.
“Hey,” he says, turning and placing his hands on my hips. “Thanks for coming tonight.”
“Thanks for inviting me,” I say, staring into his eyes.
“I like you, Emalie,” he says, his voice husky.
“I like you too.”
“I know we’ve only been on a few dates, but there’s something about you . . . I was wondering if . . . I dunno . . . you might consider being my girlfriend?”
Oh. My. God. Jack wants me to be his girlfriend.
“I might consider it.” I grin.
“You know,” he says, stepping closer. “I never got that kiss the other night.”
“So you didn’t,” I breathe.
My heart stammers. Mostly because he’s going to kiss me, but also because Rainer took the kiss Jack never got to give me. Still, I want to kiss Jack. A lot. His fingers go from my hips to slide up my sides and I shiver. I’m not used to this kind of attention and it freaks me out in a thrilling way.
“Can I give it to you now?” he whispers, reaching up and stroking his finger down my cheek.
“S-s-s-s-sure.”
He steps closer until his body is flush against mine and his fingers are splayed out over my hips. I tremble in his arms and I raise my hands to tangle in his shirt. As he tilts his head, I let my eyes flutter closed.
At the first touch of his lips, I’m . . . disappointed. The build-up to this moment has been intense, but there’s something missing in his kiss. My heart isn’t racing. He doesn’t have that intense smell that heightens all my senses li
ke . . .
Oh God.
Like Rainer.
Jack’s tongue slides out and tangles with mine, and I kiss him back. But I know it’s not the same. If Rainer had never kissed me, this would probably be an incredible moment, but instead I had expectations, and they’re not being met. It’s not that Jack can’t kiss. He can. His lips are soft. His tongue is gentle. He’s doing everything right, but the most important thing is missing.
The spark.
Maybe I just need to give it time. I like Jack. Really, I do. He wants me to be his girlfriend and I want that. The kissing will get more intense the more time I spend with him, I’m sure of it.
“Hey, fucker!”
Jack is torn out of my arms before I know what’s happening, and I turn quickly to see Rainer driving a fist into his mouth. Whoa. Hang on.
“What the fuck are you doin’ here, kissing some chick when you’re supposed to be dating Emalie?”
Oh. My. Lord.
He doesn’t know Jack was kissing me.
“Rainer,” I say, my voice shaky.
He stops mid-punch and his body freezes. He drops Jack, who is now bleeding from the lip and panting with rage, and turns to me. His entire body freezes as his gaze moves over me. He doesn’t have the same gentle look Jack had; instead, he’s . . . horrified. He hates it. He’s looking at me as if he doesn’t know me.
“Emalie?”
I swallow.
“What the fuck did you do to your face?”
My eyes flash with pain, I know they do, but he doesn’t see it. He’s too angry.
“I’m on a date,” I whisper, trying to suck back my rage.
“A date?” He barks a laugh. “Looking like a cheaper version of your slutty sister? What the fuck has gotten into you?”
I can’t take it.
I just . . . can’t.
I step forward, raise my hand and slap him. His head swings to the side and he hisses in pain. “Fuck you, Rainer,” I spit. “Fuck you and your shit. How dare you? How . . .” My voice breaks off and tears burst forth. Rainer’s eyes widen. “Tonight,” I croak. “Tonight my mom was proud of me, my sister spoke with me, and that man”—I point to Jack—“thought I looked great. Then you, always you, come in here and ruin it all. You and your stupid, blond girlfriend. I’m done.”
I turn and run out, hearing him call my name.