by Bella Jewel
His hand moves around and cups my breast, and it’s such a shock I jerk back. An ass squeeze is one thing, but the breast is taking it too far. “Jack,” I say, squirming. “I’m not ready.”
“You just said you were going to sleep with me.”
Oh. My. God.
“Not here,” I protest, but he keeps squeezing my breast.
“Why not here? If it was Rainer, I’m sure you’d be giving in.”
“Stop it,” I plead, hitting his hand.
His other one curls around my ass again and he holds me tight, fingers grinding into my flesh. He moves his hand from my breast down to my pants and cups my sex. I want to vomit.
“Don’t,” I beg. “Please.”
“You’re wet, I just bet . . .”
“I’m not. I don’t want to do this here. Please let me go.”
“You’re a tease, Emalie. You’ve been playing with me from the start, dangling that piece of shit in front of my face. Making me fight for you. I will get it before him, and I will shove his face in it.”
“Let me go!” I cry as he flexes his palm against my sex.
“No.”
I take a deep breath and then I slam my head into his. It’s enough to make him stumble back with a roar. I’m spinning, and it takes me a few seconds to react the way I know I need to. I raise my knee and drive it into his groin. He goes down with a bellow, and I turn and run. My mind is blurred, my head is spinning, and my vision feels off. There’s a tender spot on my forehead that’s throbbing with each pounding step.
My top gets caught on a tree branch and tears with a loud rip. More tears flow, and I’m ashamed. How could I be so stupid? Of course Jack just wanted to get lucky. The moment I said I was considering sleeping with him, he decided I was good enough for him again. How could I be so blind? He probably never wanted me. It was most likely a horrible bet or a joke between friends. Who can get the nerdy girl in bed?
I stumble over to my car, and people are stopping to stare at me. I don’t care. I just need to get home. Gosh, I shouldn’t even be driving, but I’m so desperate I don’t care. I fumble with the key and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get it in to unlock the door. I’m crying too heavily. “Emalie!” Kenny’s voice rings through the ringing sound in my head.
“Emalie, oh my God, what happened?”
“Nothing. I need to g-g-g-go.”
“Shit. Did he . . .”
“Just let me go, Kenny!”
“Where’s Rainer?” Kenny calls and I freeze, spinning around.
“No!” I yell. “No, please.”
“Someone hurt you, and they’re not getting away with it.”
“Kenny, please.”
He disappears and I become more frantic. I drop my keys and cry out loudly. My shirt rips more as I kneel down to try and fetch them. I can feel the cold night air against my skin, and I know my back is exposed.
“Emalie!”
No.
“Fuck, Emalie!”
Please no.
Warm hands encircle my waist and I’m being hauled up into Rainer’s strong arms.
“Rainer,” I sob.
“What happened? Shit, Emy, who did this to you?”
“Jack did it to her,” Kenny says.
“What?” Rainer growls, his voice like ice.
“We saw him with another girl and Emalie ran off. I told him that she’d seen him and he followed her . . .”
Rainer turns me so I’m facing him, and he really takes me in. His dark eyes travel down over my torn clothes and I see the rage fill his gaze.
“What did he do to you? Don’t lie to me, Emalie.”
“He followed me into the trees. We talked. I told him I was s-s-s-sad about him not giving me a chance. I mentioned that I couldn’t believe I was going to s-s-s-sleep with him and suddenly he . . .”
“He what?” Rainer growls.
“He started kissing me, and grabbing me.”
“Where did he touch you?”
I look into his eyes. “Rainer, please . . .”
“Where?” he roars.
“My b-b-b-breasts and . . .”
Rainer doesn’t need anymore. He turns me into Kenny’s arms and he sprints towards the trees.
“Rainer!” I scream, shoving out of Kenny’s grasps.
By now half the party is behind us, and as I run towards the trees, they all do to. Rainer catches Jack just as he’s exiting the tree line, and Jack doesn’t even get a chance to open his mouth before Rainer drives a fist into his face. The two boys go down quickly, and I watch in horror as Rainer punches Jack over and over. The sickening sounds of bones breaking snaps me back into gear.
“Rainer, stop!” I cry, running forward.
He hits Jack again and again.
“You piece of fucking shit. I’ll fucking kill you.”
“Rainer,” I sob, trying to reach for him.
“How dare you fucking touch her?”
“Rainer!” I scream so loudly he stops, fist in the air.
He turns and looks at me, and I’ve never seen his eyes so enraged. He’s panting, his big body heaving with anger.
“Please,” I whisper. “If you kill him . . . I won’t have you. Rai . . . please.”
His mouth is open and I can hear his angry pants.
“Please . . .”
He turns back to Jack, who is now groaning on the ground, blood all over his face. Leaning down, Rainer grabs Jack by the shirt. “It’s only because of her that you’re not fucking dead right now.”
Then he slams Jack down and turns, reaching out for me. I run to him. He’s got a bloody lip. I don’t know when that happened. Jack must have gotten one hit in—he certainly didn’t get more than that. Rainer curls his arm around me and we walk through the crowd who are all gaping at us. Rainer’s arm is protectively wrapped around me, and halfway there, he realizes how exposed I am and he stops, removing his shirt and spinning, sliding it over my head.
I think that, right there, is the moment I fall in love with Rainer Torrence.
~*~*~*~
“Just stay still,” I whisper, dabbing an alcohol wipe against Rainer’s split lip.
“Bit hard when you’re putting that shit on my face.”
“You have a split lip. I don’t want it to get infected. I’ve done enough, I don’t need that, too . . .” I say, looking anywhere but at his eyes.
We’re in the bedroom and I’m trying to clean up his face, but the air between us is thick with unspoken truths that we’re both trying to avoid.
“Emalie,” he says, reaching up and taking my wrist, stopping me. “Look at me.”
“Rainer, please,” I beg.
“Now.”
I move my eyes to his, and there’s something else in his brown depths, something I’ve never seen before. He’s looking at me with compassion but there’s a fierce protection behind his depths.
“You didn’t do anything. You didn’t ask for anything. You deserved none of what happened to you tonight.”
“Didn’t I?” I croak.
“Fuck, Emy, no.”
“I changed myself for him. I wore that dress and I let him touch me. Then tonight, I told him I wanted to sleep with him. I can’t blame him for being so angry. Maybe I did deserve it. Maybe . . .”
“Don’t,” Rainer warns, cupping my jaw in his hand. “Don’t you ever fuckin’ let me hear you say that again. He had no right to touch you. I don’t care if you danced naked in front of him. He had no right.”
“Maybe he just doesn’t respect me because that’s the way I am. You said it yourself, Rainer. I’ll never get anyone like—”
“Enough,” he growls. “Don’t, Emy. I was wrong. You’re beautiful, you’re funny, and any man would be lucky to get you.”
“Stop saying that,” I say, my voice trembling. “I know you don’t mean it, Rainer. You’re saying it because you have to.”
“When have I ever said anything I don’t mean?”
Tears spill fo
rth and he reaches up, stroking them away. My eyes connect with his and something passes between us, something we’ve never seen in each other’s eyes. It’s lust. I adore Rainer, hell, I think I love him, but I’ve never had such an intense emotion when I’ve been looking at him.
“Rainer,” I whisper.
We lean closer and my breath hitches. He’s going to kiss me. Not because he stole my first kiss, but because he wants to. I can see it in his eyes. I can see it in the way he’s holding onto me. Rainer Torrence is going to kiss me, and he’s going to want it. I think I might want it just as much.
My skin prickles and my entire body becomes alert and ready for him. As he moves closer, I think about how it’s going to feel to have his mouth on mine again. So soft. So intense. I swallow and my lips part as my eyes travel down and stare at his. Gosh, his lips are slightly wet, glistening, and ready for me. My heart rate kicks up, and I don’t want to wait a second longer.
I want him to kiss me.
I want it more than my next breath.
His lips finally connect with mine, and fireworks explode in my body, the fireworks I was so desperately searching for with Jack. We both gasp and his arms wrap around my body, hauling me up against him. I go willingly, wrapping my legs around his waist. He parts my lips with his tongue and then slides it inside. A shudder breaks out over my body and I press myself closer to him, reaching up to tangle my fingers into his hair. He stands, taking me with him and walks over to the bed, laying us both down.
The kiss becomes intense and so damned passionate I can barely breathe. I never realized until this moment just how much kissing Rainer would affect my life. I knew I cared about him, and I knew he was the most important thing in my life, but I never ever thought he’d be the person I’d fall in love with. Yet here I am, wanting as much of him as he’s willing to give.
His hand goes to my shirt and he slips it underneath, sliding it up my skin. I shiver and curl my leg around his hips. He groans and thrusts, rubbing his hard length against my sex. Oh God. That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. My lips feel bruised and they burn a little, but I don’t care. Kissing Rainer is more than I could have ever imagined. I never want it to end.
But fate has other ideas.
Just as his hand reaches my breast, the phone on the bedside table rings. We ignore it the first time, kissing harder, deeper, our tongues dancing. But then it rings again. And again. With a curse, Rainer pushes himself off me, pressing a palm to his erection, trying to adjust it. My eyes flicker to it, and oh, it looks uncomfortable.
“What?” he barks, answering the phone, keeping his smoldering eyes on me.
He listens a moment and then something washes across his features. It’s a mix of pain, shock and horror. “What?” he rasps.
His body seems to buckle and his shoulders slump, then he says, “I’ll be there soon.”
He hangs up and looks over to me. There’s something broken in his gaze. Something awful has happened. It’s written all over his face.
“Rainer?” I whisper, leaping to my feet. “What is it?”
“My dad is dead.”
Oh God.
No.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
NOW – MALI
God, my feet ache. My shift at work tonight was long. The shop was having a function, so we had preparation as well as serving, and by the time it ended, I had been there all day and most of the night. I plod up to my house, keys dangling from my fingers, but stop dead when I see the man sitting on my front steps, head in his hands. I flinch.
Rainer.
I stop walking and just stare at him, not really knowing what to say. I don’t even know why he’s here. My chat with Pippa yesterday shed some light on the situation, but in the end it still hasn’t given me any answers. My keys make a jingling sound and he looks up, his brown eyes pinning mine. “What are you doing here, Rainer?” I ask.
He stands and walks over to me. “Will you take a walk with me?”
I sigh. “I don’t think that’s wise . . .”
“Please, Mali.”
My shoulders slump. “Okay, but it can’t be far. My feet are killing me.”
He studies me, then glances around us. There’s a park over the road, with an old rusted playground no one uses anymore, though they never seem to want to knock it down, which makes no sense to me. Rainer points to it. “Is that too far?”
I shake my head. “No.”
We walk across the road in silence and when we reach the grass, I lean down and slip off my shoes. I carry them in my hand, sighing as the cool grass brings some relief to my tired, aching feet. We reach the swings and I sit on one. It’s probably ready to break, but I risk it. Rainer sits on the other and we both remain silent.
“I’m sorry for what I did to you, Mali.”
I shrug. “Shit happens.”
“Don’t do that,” he says. “I was a fucking jerk, and you didn’t deserve that. I know I said it was only a casual thing, and that’s the truth, but you’re still a girl and you still deserve respect. I should have told Pippa how it was.”
“She already knew, Rainer, so the only people you upset were yourself and me.”
He narrows his eyes. “You’ve spoken to her.”
It’s not a question.
“Yeah, I did speak to her. She wanted to talk to me about what went down. She’s not stupid and she cares about you, Rainer.”
His eyes meet mine. “Either way, I shouldn’t have done what I did. I’m not ashamed of you, Mali. In fact . . .”
He trails off and I stare at him, waiting for him to go on.
“In fact?” I prompt.
“You’re the best lay I’ve had . . . since . . . I can’t even remember.”
I blink. The best . . . lay.
“Lay?” I say, my eyes wide.
He closes his eyes, cursing. “There I go again, fucking things up.”
“It’s okay,” I say, waving a hand. “I’m flattered . . . I think.”
His lips quirk. “Anyway, I’m sorry. I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing here, but for some strange reason I find myself not wanting to stop. I can’t promise you anything, because there’s nothing to give, but I want to keep . . .”
“Fucking me?”
His eyes flash. “Yeah.”
“Well, it’s your lucky day, handsome,” I say, swinging the old rusty set. “I’m happy to keep it up, too.”
“Yeah?”
I smile at him. “Yeah.”
~*~*~*~
“So, go ahead and tell me something you’ve never told anyone else,” I say to Rainer, that night in my bed.
He just fucked me, long and slow, and now we’re tucked in each other’s arms, happily exhausted. He isn’t running. He isn’t making any move to leave. He seems happy enough to stay, and I’m fine with that.
“I am shit scared of spiders.”
I giggle.
“Seriously?”
He grunts. “Fuck yeah. They’re awful.”
“Do you scream and run around, hands in the air?”
He pinches my arm softly. “No, but I don’t like them being close to me.”
“You’re funny.”
He snorts. “I’m glad I entertain you.”
“You just don’t seem like the type to be scared of anything.”
He goes quiet for a moment. “You’d be surprised.”
“I think I would,” I admit. “You seem so strong on the exterior, but there’s a big story behind your eyes, Rainer. One day, you might want to tell me about it.”
He shifts and I think he’s going to brush it off again, but he starts speaking. “I was sold as a slave.”
My entire body jerks in his arms, because I’ve thought of a thousand different scenarios, but never, not ever did I think something like that had happened to him. My blood runs cold. A slave? He doesn’t mean . . .
“Not a sex slave,” he says, as if reading my thoughts. “I was a working slave.”
“
Rainer,” I breathe.
“That’s how I met Pippa.”
Oh no.
“Pippa was a slave too?” I gasp.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice thick. “We met and became close while we were there.”
“I’m so sorry. I . . . I never...how did you end up like that?”
He starts playing absently with a strand of my hair. “I got into drugs. I fucked with the wrong people, and as a debt repayment, I was sold to a tobacco farm somewhere in Mexico. I was there more than five years.”
Oh God. Poor Rainer. My poor, beautiful Rainer.
“And Pippa?”
“She had a really hard life and got sold for much the same reason. We were thrown in with each other and over the years, we became all the other person had. The scars on my back are the day I got whipped nearly to death protecting her.”
Tears start flowing now, and I can’t stop them. I never realized Rainer had led such a hard life. I never realized he had been through so much hell. What kind of horror did he live through? What kind of pain must he have endured?
“I got taken before her, and it was the worst day of my life. I only found her again recently.”
“I’m so sorry,” I rasp between tears. “I didn’t . . . I couldn’t . . .”
“We saw a lot of bad shit together—I can’t even begin to explain how much. We had to clean up a woman’s brains with our hands when the man who owned us got pissed off and shot her. That was our life.”
My body jerks and bile rises in my throat. Rainer seems to feel that and his arms tighten around me.
“But I’m free now, and so is Pippa. I’m trying to fix myself. To move on. I drink way more than I should, and I can’t keep relationships because my moods fluctuate so rapidly.”
“Is it how you lost your memory?” I whisper.
“Yeah. I didn’t really lose my memory as such, but traumatic events caused everything to become fuzzy. Some days I get so fucking frustrated because I can’t remember the simplest things.”
“It’s not your fault, Rainer. You’re a stronger person than most.”
“Sometimes fitting back into the real world is so fucking hard, I wonder how I’ll cope. You know, I’ve not told a fucking soul about that. I don’t know what it is about you, Mali, but . . .”
“I’m glad you trusted me enough. Sometimes telling your story is the start of the biggest road to recovery.”