Shatter Me (The Jaded Series, #1)

by Alex Grayson

  “Please, Jaxon, just leave it alone. I have panic attacks sometimes, okay? I’m fine now. Mia’s here and I’m done with my paperwork. I would really like for her to show me the ropes around here so I can start doing my job.” I swear this man makes me run hot and cold. Sometimes I feel safe enough to quietly take my stand while other times he intimidates the hell out of me and all I want to do is crawl into a corner and hide. I recall being cradled in his arms and how safe I felt being there. Besides Chris I don’t think anyone has ever held me before.

  He continues to stare into my eyes like he’s trying to see into my soul for the answers he’s seeking. I may have panic attacks, but for the most part I’m pretty good at hiding my feelings.

  Steven is the prosecuting attorney in our town. As such, we either attended many social functions or had to host them ourselves. As his wife, I was expected to act with social grace and decorum. Little did people know that I was quietly dying inside and scared of the repercussions that I would face if I didn’t act to the best of my ability.

  Jaxon finally releases my arms, straightens, and takes a step back from me. His eyes stay on mine for another minute before he turns on his heel and walks away, silently muttering to himself. Again, he disappears down the hallway. Another minute passes before I hear a door slam.

  I glance in Mia’s direction and she’s eyeing me with a ‘what the fuck’ expression. I look away from her and notice that the one patron that was in the corner is gone. The person that was at the bar is still there and is watching me like I would fall apart at any moment. Funny thing is I’ve been so emotionally damaged that I feel like there’s an internal bomb in my psyche that is just waiting to explode.

  I quickly bend down to pick up the papers that I dropped during my freak out and walk towards Mia to hand them to her. “They’re finished.”

  Like her brother, she continues to stare at me, this time her expression is a little softer. After a minute or so she takes the papers from me and glances down to peruse them.

  “You forgot to put your address down.” She says.

  “Oh, um...” I quickly come up with a cover story. “I just moved in with someone and I don’t remember the address. When I get home, I’ll make sure to write it down and bring it tomorrow.” I just hope she forgets to ask me for it tomorrow.

  She shrugs and places the papers on the counter, “Follow me and I’ll show you around.”

  She leads me towards the hallway. The first door on the right, directly behind the bar is the kitchen, which holds the usual industrial size kitchen appliances you see in restaurants. The next door is the utility closet. Further down the hallway on the left is the break room, which also has several lockers that the staff uses.

  “We don’t really use it.” She says. “We’re either too busy to take breaks, spend them out on the floor with the staff and customers, or hang out in the kitchen with Hoots, our cook.”

  The next door on the left leads to the basement, which is also the stockroom. After a brief tour of the stockroom Mia leads me back upstairs. The last door on the left is the employee exit that leads to the back of the building. It’s the door that I saw from the outside when I first arrived. The only door left is the one at the end of the hall.

  “That’s Jax’s office. It stays locked when he’s not here. If he is here and the door is closed, knock first. If it’s open, you can go in. Understand?”

  “Yes,” I mumble.

  She leads me back to the front and starts explaining what needs to be done before the crowd starts arriving. It’s all pretty basic stuff. Make sure that all the drinks are stocked, including the taps, which she shows me how to do, take down the chairs and wipe down the tables, ensure everything is in its proper place, cash drawer has the right amount of cash, etc.

  By the time we’re done, I’m exhausted. The nightmare I endured, sleeping in my car, becoming acquainted with my new town, my break down from earlier, and learning the ins and outs of working here have finally caught up with me. It was closing in on six o’clock. Mia says the evening crowd will start showing soon.

  Just then Jaxon walks out of the hallway, takes one glance at me and says, “Go home.”

  My lungs freeze and I feel my body tense up. Is he firing me? Is it because of my freak out from earlier? I can’t lose this job. It’s my only hope to save money so I can stay one step ahead of Steven. I’m just opening my mouth to beg him when he says, “Be here tomorrow at five and you can get your first feel of how it is during busy hours.”

  I sag as relief floods through me. Not fired, okay, good. Although I’m still nervous about working here it’ll be refreshing to have something to do. I haven’t worked in a couple of years.

  “I’ll be here,” I tell him.

  “With your hair up.” He returns.

  “Yes,” I reply tartly.

  He arches his eyebrow that carries the two rings and smirks at me. Whatever. I’ve already revealed my scar so wearing my hair back tomorrow won’t really matter now.

  I leave using the employee exit. I notice as I make my way to my car that it’s starting to get dark. A sudden chill takes over my body. While I unlock my car, I take a much-needed deep breath and I can swear I smell the sweet tang of Steven’s Cuban cigars. I freeze and take another deep breath, but the smell is no longer there. It has to be my imagination, I tell myself. I’m still a little on edge from my episode earlier. There’s no way he’s found me again.

  Yet.

  A voice whispers in my head. I shake my head to clear the voice away and take a steadying breath.

  I start my car and head back to my temporary resting spot in the library parking lot. Once I park I shut off the ignition, grab my small blanket and pillow and recline back in my seat. I shoot Chris a quick message letting her know that my first day of work went okay. Before I’m fully nestled into my seat, I’m already drifting off into an unsettled sleep.

  Chapter Five

  The pain is unbearable. Excruciating. He’s being specifically cruel tonight. I have no idea why, just like many of the other times he’s hurt me.

  “You’ve been a bad, bad girl, my Pet. How many times do I have to tell you that I won’t tolerate naughty girls?” Steven says while I feel a piercing hot pain on my back from the self-made flogger he’s using. The flogger that Steven customized to have tiny needles at the end of the tails. He’s used it before on me, but he’s never put so much force into his swings.

  “Steven, please, I don’t know what I’ve done. Please tell me what I did and I promise to never do it again. I promise to be a good girl.” I beg him while I cry hysterically. I can’t not beg him tonight. The pain is just too unbearable.

  I feel the warm trails of blood that are trickling down my butt and legs. My arms are hoisted above my head and tied to the beam that runs across the ceiling. They are pulled up so high and tight that I’m standing on the tips of my toes. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. It seems as though Steven’s been at me for hours. My arms feel as though they’ll slip out of their sockets any minute. Please God, let it be over soon. I whisper the prayer in my head, but I know God doesn’t hear me. He never hears me.

  “Oh, you know exactly what you did, Bailey. You know what you did and you enjoyed doing it. Didn’t you, BITCH?” He screams the last at me and strikes me twice again, even harder with the flogger.

  Suddenly he’s in front of me and he has his hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing hard. I feel him kick my legs apart, which puts more strain on my arms. I’m practically hanging there by my arms. He takes the handle of the flogger and jams it so far and hard inside me that it lifts me up a little bit. The pain is all consuming. It feels as though he’s broke through some vital organ in my body. He continues his assault by pulling it out and ramming it back inside. He does this over and over again.

  Just then I hear a shuffle behind me and I’m reminded that we’re not alone. One of his associates is here as well. I feel him at my back and I know what’s coming. Steven
still has his hands wrapped around my throat and my vision is starting to get blurry. I welcome the knowledge that soon I’ll black out due to lack of oxygen.

  As if he’s read my thoughts, he withdrawals the flogger and loosens his hold on my throat. I gasp for air.

  “Oh, no you don’t. You need to be fully awake for what we have planned for you. You will learn how to obey me!”

  The man behind me presses his front to my back and I cry out because the course hair on his chest brushes against the open welts and cuts on my back. He wraps one arm around my front and picks me up. I feel his other hand at my bottom and a second later he impales his dick in my ass. I scream at the sharp pain I feel in my bowels and try in vain to pull myself up by my arms. It’s no use.

  Steven is in my face again and his hand is back at my throat.

  “Now, be a good girl, my Pet, and enjoy the lesson my dear friend and I are going to teach you.” Again, he jams the end of the flogger in me at the same time the man behind me lifts me and drops me back down on his waiting shaft. I scream out in utter agony....

  I wake up to a loud banging noise. I’m so off balance from the nausea that’s rolling in my stomach that I don’t have time to look around me for the noise that woke me. I frantically grab the car door handle and yank it before I spew the contents of my stomach all over my car.

  While I sit there half in and half out of my car dry heaving, I feel someone pull my hair back from my face. Out the corner of my eye, I can see a pair of white Ked sneakers.

  “Oh my God, Bailey, are you okay?” Comes the hysterical voice of Anna.

  “I’m fine,” I mumble while trying to calm my breathing.

  “I heard you screaming from all the way across the street. I thought someone was hurting you. When I ran over here I saw that you were asleep and dreaming. You were thrashing around and screaming “stop.” I tried to open the door to wake you, but they were locked. You scared the daylights out of me. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Little did she know someone was, indeed, hurting me, it was just in the past tense, not the present.

  I slowly sit up and grab the water bottle that’s on the passenger seat. I take a big gulp to try and rid my mouth of the vile taste of vomit. “Yes, I’m fine, thank you. I have terrible nightmares sometimes. They’re so awful that I get sick to my stomach.”

  Today I notice she’s wearing a pair of bright yellow skinny jeans and a deep purple sweater that hangs off one shoulder. Her hair is down and it’s flowing in golden waves down her back. She really is a beautiful woman.

  “Why were you sleeping in your car anyway?” Anna asks.

  Well, crap. How do I explain this question away? Luckily, she doesn’t try and delve further about my nightmare. Since I have no ready excuse, I give her the truth. Part of the truth anyway.

  “I’m...uh...running a little low on cash. I’ll be staying in my car until I make enough money to rent a cheap place.” It looks as though she’s going to protest so I quickly add, “It’s fine. I don’t mind staying in my car. I’ve done it before.”

  “But...”

  “Really, Anna, I’m okay. Staying in my car is the least of my problems.”

  Before she has a chance to ask about my last remark, I reach into the back seat of my car and grab my backpack and purse. I quickly run my brush through my hair, making sure it covers the side of my face I want to keep hidden. When I turn back around and get out of my car Anna has her hands in her tight pants pockets and she’s watching me with an enormous smile on her face.

  “I was just heading over to the diner. Want to go with me and grab some breakfast?” She asks me excitedly.

  As I’ve not had anything since early yesterday afternoon, I’m starving. The money I have left is precious to me, but I know that I need to eat as well. The last thing I need is to become sick because I’m not eating enough.

  I give her a small smile and say, “Sure, I could do with some breakfast.”

  I lock my car door and we make our way towards the diner on foot. As we move along the sidewalk, I realize that Anna must know just about everyone here in this little town. Several cars honk at Anna as they pass by and give friendly waves. Some people step out of their businesses to yell a greeting at her. There are plenty of “Hi, how are ya’s?” It must be so nice to be so welcomed and loved in such a small community.

  We walk into the diner a few minutes later and make our way to one of the booths. As soon as we are seated a short woman wearing a pair of sparkly black capri’s, a deep plum colored button up blouse, with the first few buttons undone, and an apron approaches us. Her strawberry blonde hair is piled high up on her head. She has on a bunch of gold and silver bangles on both wrists and a pair of big hoop earrings. She’s also sporting a pair of high black strappy heels. Shoes that shouldn’t be worn by a waitress while at work. Although the outfit is ridiculous for the type of work she’s doing, she looks darn good in it. Her name tag says she’s called Nitra.

  “Hey, Anna girl, what are you doing here so early?” She asks while propping a hand on her hip.

  “Having breakfast with my new friend here. Bailey, meet Nitra. Nitra, this is Bailey. She’s new in town and I’ve decided to take her under my wing. She came in the diner for the first time the other night and I knew right away that we were going to be great friends.” Anna finishes her introduction with two claps of her hand.

  Holy smokes! This girl really is something else. Her infectious excitement causes me to laugh, something I haven’t done in a long, long time. It feels strange to laugh, especially in the wake of a nightmare, but it also feels really good.

  Nitra turns my way and holds out her hand. “Nice to meet cha, Bailey. How do you like our little town so far?”

  I place my hand in hers and we shake. “I haven’t seen much, but from what I have seen it seems like a nice place.”

  “Of course it’s a nice place. Everybody knows everybody here. We’re all family and look out for each other. What’s not to like?” Stopping to pull out a notepad and pen, she continues talking. “So, what can I get for you two this morning? Or do you need more time to decide.”

  Before I get a chance to answer Nitra with my meager choice of a muffin and water, Anna pipes up and orders what could probably feed an army.

  “We’ll have some bacon, sausage, eggs, hash browns, toast, and pancakes, please. Double of everything. Oh, and have Cookie add some whip cream and strawberries to the pancakes. Can you also bring us both some orange juice and coffee?”

  Nitra’s eyes nearly bug out of her head as Anna rambles off her list of wants. Once she’s done writing everything down she walks off to put in our massive order. There is no way Anna can eat all that. I realize what she’s doing and I turn to her to protest. Before I get a chance, she’s out of her seat and squealing like a child that just woke up on Christmas morning. I turn to look at what has made her so giddy and see the man from the other night, Nick, walking into the diner. He smiles really big at Anna and immediately starts in our direction.

  When he reaches our table, he scoops Anna up and plants a hard smoldering kiss on her lips while swinging her around. It’s so hard to watch these two. They make love look so easy. They have no worries and you can tell they are both comfortable with each other.

  When they finally break apart from their private moment Anna turns to me while still holding onto Nick and says, “I want you to meet my new friend, Bailey.”

  It’s plain to see that Nick really doesn’t want to look away from Anna, but he forces himself to anyway.

  “Oh, hey, you were in here the other night right?” He asks while pushing Anna into the booth and following to sit beside her.

  “Uh, yeah, the night I got into town,” I tell him.

  Nitra brings us our orange juice and coffee. She adds a third cup for Nick. While pouring milk in his coffee Nick casually asks, “So, Bailey, what brings you to Jaded Hollow?”

  I’ve already prepared for this question so I answer him just as
casually while quaking inside, hoping he doesn’t see through my lie.

  “I just needed a change of scenery. I’ve always wanted to travel and nothing was holding me back, so I thought; ‘why not now?’” I glance down to my coffee and pretend to stir it, even though I haven’t added anything to it.

  “That’s very brave of you to just up and leave like that.” I glance up from my coffee to gauge his expression. Is he questioning my answer or is he just making an observation? He’s looking at me like he doesn’t know whether or not to believe me. Crap! I don’t need anyone doubting me. People may become curious if they think my story is false.

  Just then, Nitra walks up carrying our horrendous amount of food.

  “Sweet Jesus, Anna! Were you planning on feeding a whole baseball team?” Nick asks her.

  Anna giggles, “Nope, I’m just extremely hungry. Someone’s been keeping me busy the last couple of days and hasn’t let me up for air long enough for me to eat.” She says this with a wink towards me.

  Nick leans in and nuzzles her ear and whispers, loud enough for me to hear, “Hmm...I wonder who that could be.”

  I start to feel like I’m invading their private moment. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. I’ve never been around people that are so relaxed and carefree with each other.

  Anna peeks at me and I think she notices how awkward I feel. She nudges Nick back to his side of the booth and says, “Eat up, Bailey, before it gets cold.”

  I reluctantly grab an empty plate that Nitra left for us and start placing small amounts of food on it. Nick just starts eating straight off the plates.

  While Anna is piling her food on her plate, she asks me, “So, how do you like working at my brother’s bar so far?”

  I had no idea that Anna was Jaxon’s sister. Of course, there’s no way that I would know since I just got here, but I figured there would be more of a resemblance. Jaxon and Mia look just alike, while Anna looks nothing like them. Jaxon and Mia must take after one parent while Anna favors the other.