Undeniably His: Bliss Series, Book Five

by Hall, Deanndra

  “No! Not a word! I can’t believe he’d do that. Why? I don’t understand,” he says, his voice still a little loud. “I talk to him almost every day. I asked him how you were and he told me to call you up and talk to you. Son of a bitch … he didn’t want to tell me himself. I can’t believe it. You just wait ‘til I get my hands on him …”

  “Marie tried to take Baker away from him because of me. He tried to fight her, but his attorney was afraid it wouldn’t work, so he let me go instead.” It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud like that, and it sounds even more pathetic than before. “So that’s that.”

  “No. It’s not. She has no right to do that, Melina. No right. I’ll talk to him and―”

  “No, please don’t. I just need to move on. Please?”

  “But you’re part of my family! I can’t believe he did that. Does Blake know?”

  “I have no idea,” I reply. “Unless Boone told him, he doesn’t, because I haven’t talked to him.”

  “Why didn’t you call us when he did this? I swear to god, he may be my twin, but he’s a dumbass. Look, come to the house this weekend and spend it with Kara and me. We’d love to have you.”

  “I can’t. He doesn’t want to be with me, and I can’t be in the family if I’m not with him. So I’m on my own, Brock.”

  “I love you. You’re one of our girls. Melina, please―”

  “No. I can’t. I’m sorry. I love you too, you and Blake and Kara and Misti, but I can’t. I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you another time.”

  “Melina, wait. Please. Just come―” Before he can beg me more, I hang up. My heart is breaking again and there’s nothing he can say or do that will make it better.

  Sure enough, ten minutes later the phone rings. “Hello?”

  “Melina, you need to come here for the weekend,” Blake orders.

  “Hello to you too, sir.”

  “Stop it. You’re hurting. I’m smart enough to know that. Brock and I are hurting too now that we know. We love you and we want to take care of you, sugar. Please, just come, okay?”

  “But I don’t―”

  He interrupts me with a snort. “We’ll figure this out after I beat the shit out of Boone.”

  I close my eyes and sigh. Everything inside me wants to run to these two men, strong, loving men, men I’d trust with my life. The night Boone ended it with me, I knew he wasn’t ending it for just him. He was ending it for the whole family, and I was no longer a part of it. Knowing I’d never see any of them hurt almost as much. I haven’t just grieved for him―I’ve grieved for Brock and Kara, Blake and Misti, Brannon and Gertie, and all the kids. And Baker―I grew to love that little boy and I’d hoped he’d be my stepson. Now that’s all gone, every bit of it. I’d had no one. Then I’d had a huge, loving family. And I’m right back where I started.

  The last thing I want to do is break down, but I can’t help it. I’m sobbing when I can finally speak. “No, Blake. Don’t. Just leave it alone. I don’t want things to get worse. Just stop.”

  “No, Melina. Brock’s talking to Mom and Dad right now, and they’ll be furious, so you can expect to hear from them too. But we’re not just going to sit here and watch this happen. His ex never wanted to be part of this family. You’re the one person he’s supposed to be with, sugar. We know that. You know that. And he knows that.”

  “Doesn’t matter. If he loses Baker, he loses the one thing in this world that means the most to him, and I can’t let that happen.” I’m almost to the point that I can’t speak. One of the things I’d prayed for was that when they found out, they’d just shrug and go on. I should’ve known that wouldn’t happen.

  From the other end of the phone I hear him say “What?” There’s a voice in the background―I have to assume it’s Misti―and then he says, “Everybody’s flights are booked. We’ll all be there late tonight, and we’ve got lodging too.” I know what that means. They’re invading Boone’s house without his permission. God, he’s gonna be pissed, I know.

  “Blake, please …”

  “No. Done. End of discussion. In under twelve hours there’ll be six pairs of arms around you, sugar. Don’t fight this. Just let us love you and take care of you, okay?”

  There’s no point in arguing with him or any of the rest of the family. Their minds are made up and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m exhausted from the emotional drain and from the last five and a half weeks. “Okay. Fine. I can’t stop you.”

  “No. You can’t. See you this evening, sugar. And Melina?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you. Brock loves you. Kara and Misti, Mom and Dad―they all love you. The kids all love you. You’re part of us. See you when we get there. Bye, babe.”

  “Bye.” God, I don’t know how I’m going to survive this.

  * * *

  I hear the car pull up at about one o’clock in the morning, and I’m ready. Brock texted me earlier and told me everybody had their own suites, and his parents want me in the suite with them. The knock on the door makes my hands start to shake, but as soon as I open it, I fall into Brock’s arms. “Shhhh, cupcake. It’s all gonna be okay. Got your bag ready?” I just nod against his shoulder. “Let me get it and we’ll get going.”

  The ride downtown is uneventful. He asks me how my work is going, what I’ve been doing, if I’ve been going to the club. “I don’t feel like I belong there anymore without …” The words just won’t come. Every time I speak his name, the pain is too great.

  “You should be going, if for no other reason than to alleviate some of the pain. Blake and I will take you while we’re here.”

  “I can’t―”

  “Yes. You can and you will. You give Blake and me trouble, Dad will take you. If you’re smart, you’ll go with us.”

  “But Brian won’t―”

  “Melina …” When he stops, I wonder what’s about to come out of his mouth, and I’m a little afraid. “I’ve already talked to Brian. Matter of fact, I’ve talked to Dave, Steffen, and Clint too. They’re all concerned about you. It takes a lot for a Dominant to step into another Dominant’s territory, and they all busted right through Boone’s fence to spare his heifer. That told us something very important. You need us here. We’re going to take care of this. It may be a war, but the more soldiers you have, the better your chances.”

  It takes about thirty minutes for us to get to the hotel and by the time we pull up to the valet parking booth, I’m exhausted from the raw emotions and the time of day. I’m also trying to figure out how to call in from work when the sun comes up, but I’m smart enough to know that I’m too fragile to work later today. I can barely function. I knew this would happen if I ever saw a single one of them again, but all at one time? No. That’s going to completely slay me. The elevator opens to a penthouse with three doors, and I know what that means. Brock has one, Blake another, and their parents the last. He knocks once and the door opens.

  I don’t fall when my knees buckle―Brannon sweeps me up and in seconds, I’m on his lap on the sofa, his arms around me. All I can do is cry. Someone takes my hand, and I’m pretty sure it’s Gertie. Other voices surround me, familiar voices, until I hear the one I most want to hear.

  My swollen eyes open just enough to see Brock there, on his knees in front of his dad, reaching for me, and I fall into his arms. It’s almost like being held by Boone―almost―but close enough to at least comfort me a little. All I can manage to do is whisper into his neck, “Oh, sir, please, just hold me. Please?”

  “Not turning loose, cupcake―never turning loose. Doesn’t matter what my dumbass twin does, you’re ours. We won’t let you just fade away.”

  Fade away. That’s how I’ve felt for the last month, like I’m just fading away, like I don’t matter to anyone and don’t belong anywhere. I love these people. They gave me a place to belong and love I’ve never known from anybody else, but I’m fairly certain that when they sit down with Boone, they’ll understand it has to be this way. They
won’t want him to lose Baker any more than he does. And that poor little boy. Day after day I’ve wondered what his daddy has told him about why I’ve just disappeared. Does he think I didn’t love him? Does he believe I’d just walk away and never see him again? That thought makes me cry harder. I’m just sad, totally sad and hopeless.

  “Melina, sweetheart, stay here with Gertie and the girls. We’ve got an errand we’ve gotta run,” Brannon tells me as he pulls me back from Brock and helps me settle on the sofa. The minute I leave Brock’s arms, my heart starts to wither. I can hear Blake in the next room arguing with someone, and I have to believe it’s Boone. No doubt he’s furious that they woke him up in the wee hours of the morning to basically bust his balls. Wish I could hear that conversation.

  “Let’s roll. We’ve got some Alabama-style ass-kicking to do,” Blake announces when he steps into the room. I’m still crying so hard that I can’t beg them to leave him alone. They mean well, but this isn’t helping me. It’s only hurting more. As I sit there, folded over and bawling, I hear the sounds of kissing and doors closing.

  Someone’s on the floor in front of me and I open my eyes to find Kara there, stroking my hair and gazing up at me. “Honey, they’ll get this straightened out. A Lawson man told you he loves you and will never let you go. He’s going to live up to that promise.”

  “No,” I murmur and shake my head. “No, no, no. Just leave him alone. He made his decision. Please, just let it go.”

  “No way,” I hear Misti say from across the room. “Here. Sit up and drink this.” I feel someone behind me pull upward on my shoulders―has to be Gertie―and Misti shoves a glass of something into my hand.

  Sweet iced tea. One sip and my mind goes into overload.

  The first time he made love to me. The first time he told me he loved me. Meeting Baker. Meeting Brock and Blake. Their wives and how loving they’ve been toward me. Brannon and Gertie making me feel like I was their very own daughter. All those memories start to swirl together, and I feel dizzy and disoriented as my eyes close.

  When they open, I’m on a bed in a strange room. “She’s waking up. Melina, look at me,” a voice orders and I recognize it as Gertie’s. “Sweetie, look at me. We’re getting you some help, okay? It’ll be all right, I promise. Just hang in there with us.”

  Twenty minutes later, some kind of traveling nurse has been there and given me some medication. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t care. If it makes the hurt stop, that’s all that matters at this point. I don’t know where they got this woman, but she’s kind and compassionate, and she talks to me about what’s happened and how I’m feeling, then makes a call before she leaves the medication, probably to a doctor who’s her supervisor. I can see the sun peeking in through the crack between the drapery panels. I can hear Misti, Kara, and Gertie, plus a couple of the kids. But I don’t hear the guys.

  By the time they come back, the womenfolk have managed to get some food into me, get me into and out of the shower, get me dressed, and have me propped up on the sofa. Honestly, I don’t give a shit. I don’t care about anything, not them, not Boone, not Baker, and most definitely myself. Death seems like a perfectly good option, one that I want to explore as soon as no one is watching me. If they leave those pills out on the nightstand, I’m as good as dead.

  And the looks on their faces don’t help at all. I can tell they got nowhere with Boone. God only knows what they said or did to him. He’s probably in intensive care. I bet those arms that used to hold me are in casts now. Good. I don’t fucking give a damn.

  Brock sits down next to me, Blake on the other side, and their dad on an ottoman in front of me. Brannon presses his hands onto my thighs and looks up into my face. “Okay, darlin’, here’s where we are. Boone is just as broken as you, but he doesn’t know what to do. I saw the paperwork from his lawyer, the questions he asked and the answers, and she’s got him by the balls. I know you’d never do anything to hurt Baker, and he does too, but she’s adamant that she doesn’t want you around her child, and the attorney seems to think a judge will side with her. At this point, I really don’t know what to do, but I can tell you this. We will not abandon you. You’re part of our family now, and that’s everything to us.”

  “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but that will alienate Boone from all of you, and I don’t want that. With Baker’s illness and everything that means, he’s going to need your support, and he can’t get that if he feels like he has to stay away because I might be around. Surely you can see that,” I plead.

  “I may have to see it, but I don’t have to like it. This is wrong, pure and simple. I’ll be going back and doing some research into case law. Of course, I’m not from Washington state, but―”

  “Wait. Are you an attorney?”

  “Criminal and civil. Passed the Alabama bar so many years ago that I can’t count.” I had no idea―nobody ever told me what Brannon’s vocation was. “I’ll get to the bottom of this, but right now, you need to understand that we’re going to be spending time with you, talking to you, helping you. You need us, Melina, and we need you. Our family was complete when you walked into it. That’s not something we’re simply going to let slip away.”

  I look around as I dissolve into a puddle of tears. “I love you all so much. I finally had a family, and Marie had to ruin it all.”

  “It’s not ruined. It’ll eventually be made right. You’ve just got to hang in there, okay?”

  I can’t. But I’m not going to tell them that. They’ve gone out of their way to help me. I’ll let them think I can hold out a little longer.

  But I can’t. Next week, if everything goes as planned, I’ll leave this earth and never look back. In six months, I’ll be a dim memory for the few people who know me. They’ll be better off without me.

  I’m better off without me.

  * * *

  It’s been two weeks since the whole Lawson clan came to my rescue, such as it was. They call pretty much every day. Some days I answer. Some days, I’m so down that I can’t. I can’t talk to anyone. I’m making sure my work is done at the store because in three days, I won’t be there anymore.

  The doctor’s visit wasn’t hard. I told them I’m in a lot of pain in my shoulders and he gave me some standard-issue painkillers. Yeah, they’re hard to get, but I’ve never taken any, so they have no paper trail of me getting too many. I walked out of the office with a prescription in my hand, and I filled it in about fifteen minutes. Easy peasy. I didn’t realize it was so simple to kill yourself, but it appears to be almost effortless.

  My attorney drew up a new will, and I left everything to the club. Maybe with the proceeds from my stuff they can put in some new fixtures, do a little remodeling, things like that. Maybe somebody will even think to put up a plaque: This floor tile installed in memory of Melina Veronique Roberts, a long-time member of this club who left this earth with a broken heart. Yeah. That would be nice.

  I go home and don’t eat. Why waste food on me? I won’t be here long enough for it to matter anyway. I have some sleeping pills, so I decide I’ll take one. I’m trying to save them to take with the pain pills. All I really want to do is sleep. And then my phone rings.

  Brock. I can’t talk to him. It’s almost like talking to Boone, and there’s no point. It rings, then stops, then he calls again. While it’s ringing, another call is coming in. Blake. That’s weird. In minutes, Brannon and Gertie both try to call me, and in the meantime, Kara and Misti are ringing in too. What the fuck? Why all of a sudden is everybody trying to call me?

  But my heart almost stops when I see the next call coming in. Boone. He wouldn’t call me unless it was really, really important. My hands are shaking when I press the screen. “Hello?”

  “Melina! Thank god. Please, don’t hang up. I―”

  “What, Boone? There’s nothing to say. What do you want?”

  “Baker’s in the hospital.”

  My blood turns to ice in my veins. “What’s wrong?”


  “It’s over, Melina. The dialysis isn’t working anymore, and there’s nothing else they can do. We’ve stopped it.”

  “And the transplant?”

  There’s a deep sigh from the other end of the phone and I hold my breath. “There is no transplant. They haven’t found a donor. This is it, Melina.” His voice cracks when he sobs out, “I’m losing my son.”

  No. This isn’t fair. “I’m coming to the hospital and I’ll―”

  “No. You can’t. Marie will―”

  “Oh. My. God! You call me and tell me this, and then you tell me I can’t even come and see him? How dare you! Why don’t you just grab a big old knife and carve my heart out, Boone!”

  “Wait, wait! I don’t mean that you can’t see him! I just mean that we’ll have to fix it so Marie’s not here. I don’t know how I’m going to do that, but I will, I swear! So will you? Come to see him, I mean? When I can get this done? The nephrology wing of the children’s hospital?”

  I’m trying to calm down, but it’s hard. “Okay. All right. I see what you mean. Yes. I want to see him. Please. And thank you for calling and letting me know. I’ll wait for your call.”

  “Thank you. Thank you so much. I … I need you, Angel. Please. Don’t be mad at me.”

  “Don’t call me Angel.” The pain in my chest explodes every time he speaks. “I’m not your submissive anymore. I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I’m just a woman you used to know.”

  His voice is barely more than a whisper. “You’re far more than a woman I used to know. I love you, Melina. You know that. If there was anything I could do to―”

  “Call me when you get this worked out and I’ll come see him. Bye, Boone.” I hit END and sit there, steaming. I thought I was going to be away from all this pain and longing in twenty-four hours or less, and now this. I mean, yes, I want to see Baker. That little boy has my heart. But this? This is grossly unfair to me.

  I’m still pissed two hours later when my phone rings again. “Yeah.”