The Crazy Rich Asians Trilogy Box Set

by Kevin Kwan

  “News about our trip?”

  “No, she couldn’t care less about your trip. She wants to know if you’re pregnant, of course!”

  “Oh God! Now it begins,” Rachel muttered under her breath.

  “Seriously, wouldn’t it be nice to say you conceived a baby in Shanghai? I hope you and Nick have been trying very hard.”

  Rachel made a sound like she was choking. “Ack! Stop, stop! I don’t want to be having this conversation with you, Mom. Please. Boundaries!”

  “What do you mean, ‘boundaries’? You came out of my vagina. What kind of boundaries do we have? You are already thirty-two, and if you don’t start having your babies now, when are you going to start?”

  “Duly noted, Mom. Duly noted.”

  Kerry sighed. “So what happened to the girl who tried to poison you? Are they going to hang her?”

  “Oh God, I have no idea. I hope not.”

  “What do you mean you hope not? She tried to kill you!”

  Rachel sighed. “It’s more complicated than that. I can’t really explain it all over the phone, Mom. It’s a long story, one that could only happen in China.”

  “You keep forgetting I’m from China, daughter! I know much more about the country than you do,” Kerry said in annoyance.

  “Of course, Mom, I didn’t mean it that way. But you just don’t know the people and the circumstances that I’ve been exposed to since getting here,” Rachel said, feeling a sadness come over her, as she thought about her encounter with Colette earlier that week.

  The morning after they had returned to Shanghai, Rachel had been bombarded with voice mails from Colette: “Oh my God, Rachel, I am so, so sorry. I don’t know what to say. I just found out about Roxanne and everything. Please call me back.”

  Followed very shortly by: “Rachel, where are you? Can I please see you? I called the Peninsula and they said you never checked in. Are you with the Baos? Call me back, please.”

  Half an hour later: “Hi, it’s me again, Colette. Is Carlton with you? I’m really worried for him. He’s completely disappeared and not returning my calls or texts. Please call me.”

  And then in the afternoon, a tearful voice message: “Rachel, I really hope and pray that you know I had NOTHING to do with this. Nothing at all. Please believe me. This is just horrible. Please let me explain.”

  Nick felt strongly that Rachel should not return any of Colette’s calls. “You know, I really don’t believe that she’s as innocent as Roxanne claims. She’s ultimately responsible for what happened to you, and I’d just as soon never see or hear from her again.”

  Rachel was more sympathetic. “Say what you want about her being an obscenely spoiled princess, but you can’t say she hasn’t been nice to us.”

  “I just don’t want to ever see you get hurt again, that’s all,” Nick said, his brow furrowed with worry.

  “I know. But I don’t believe Colette really wanted to see me hurt, and I certainly don’t think she’s going to hurt me now. I feel like I owe it to her to at least hear her out.”

  At five o’clock the next afternoon, Rachel walked into the Waldorf Astoria Hotel on the Bund, tailed discreetly by two of Bao Gaoliang’s security men that Nick insisted accompany her. She made her way to the Grand Brasserie, a magnificent space framed by an elliptical mezzanine, tall marble columns that rose up to the second floor, and a stunningly landscaped interior courtyard. Colette got out of her seat and rushed toward Rachel the minute she saw her.

  “I’m so glad you came! I didn’t know if you would,” Colette said, hugging her tightly.

  “Of course I would,” Rachel said.

  “They have a fabulous high tea here. You must try the scones—they’re just like the ones at Claridges. Now, what tea do you feel like today? I think I’ll have the Darjeeling, that’s always the best.” Colette fluttered nervously.

  “I’ll have whatever you’re having,” Rachel said, trying to put her at ease. She noticed that Colette was dressed in a completely different manner than she had ever seen her—in an austerely elegant gray-and-white dress accessorized with nothing but a Maltese cross made out of old cabochon emeralds. She wore less makeup than usual, and her eyes appeared to be swollen from crying.

  “Rachel, you must believe me when I say that I had no idea Roxanne was going to do what she did. It was as much a shock to me as it must have been to you. I never, ever ordered Roxanne to do anything that would harm you. Nothing at all. You believe me, don’t you? Please say you believe me.”

  “I believe you,” Rachel said.

  “Oh thank God. Thank God.” Colette sighed. “For a while there I thought you were going to hate me forever.”

  “I could never hate you, Colette,” Rachel said gently, placing her hand over Colette’s.

  Two steaming pots of tea arrived, along with a tall silver stand overflowing with daintily cut triangles of sandwiches, scones, and a decadent array of sweet confections. As Colette began piling glistening pastries and fluffy warm scones onto Rachel’s plate, she continued to explain herself.

  “Roxanne was the one who came up with the idea of eavesdropping on the Baos after we left—it was all her idea. But then, when we heard their conversation, I was in shock, that’s all. All I could think of was that I had hurt Carlton, that I had made things far worse for him. And in that moment, just that one moment, I got really upset—not at you, but at the whole situation—and Roxanne misinterpreted my feelings.”

  “Boy, she really misinterpreted,” Rachel remarked.

  “Yes she did. Roxanne and I…we have a complicated relationship. She’s worked for me for five years now—she was an eighteenth-birthday present from my father—and she knows me inside out. Before she came to work for me, she had a miserable job at P. J. Whitney, and she’s so thankful to me, she doesn’t have anything else—I’m her whole life. She’s like that Helen Mirren character in Gosford Park, the ultimate housekeeper—she can anticipate my needs even before I know what they are, and she does things all the time that she thinks are good for me, even when I don’t ask her. But she crossed the line, she really crossed the line. I hope you know I fired her. I sent her a text message firing her the minute I found out everything.”

  Yeah, I’m sure she gets great Wi-Fi in her prison cell, Rachel thought. “What I’m not clear on, Colette, is why you got so upset over Carlton potentially losing some of his inheritance. Why does it matter to you so much?”

  Colette looked down at her plate and began to pick at the raisins on a scone. “I don’t think you know the pressures I’ve had to face in my life. I know how fortunate I am, believe me I do, but with this fortune has come tremendous burdens. I’m the only child, and ever since I was born, my parents have had these great expectations of me. They gave me the best of everything, the best schools, the best doctors—you know, my mother sent me to get my eyelids done when I was six? Through my teens, there was always some surgery done on me every year to make me look prettier. But in return they have always expected me to be the best. To be the top performer in school. To be the best of everything. I thought that they were priming me to succeed in business, but it turns out all they want is for me to get married and start giving them grandsons. To them, I am a crown princess, and they only want me to marry a crown prince. Richie Yang was their handpicked choice, and they were so angry when I turned him down. But I don’t love him, Rachel. I love Carlton—I’m sure you’ve always known that—and even though I’m not ready to get married, I want Carlton to be the one when I am ready. I can picture myself with him—he’s got that wonderful accent, and the height, and that beautiful face—we would have the most beautiful children together. My father doesn’t see any of that. He doesn’t understand someone like Carlton, he only gets traditional types like Richie. So Carlton is already in a tough spot, and if he were to lose his fortune—even a small part of it—it would only further diminish my fa
ther’s view of him. And it would make it even more impossible for me to marry him one day.”

  “But your family already has so much. More than enough for a hundred lifetimes.”

  “I know it can’t make much sense to you—coming from where you do—but believe me, my father does not think he has enough. Nowhere near.”

  Rachel shook her head in disgust. “I hope you realize that you’re going to have to stand up to your father at some point.”

  “I realize that. I’ve already been doing that—I said no to Richie, remember? And now I’m trying to prove to my father that I can do just fine, thank you very much, without his money. I know he’s testing me—he’s always doing such things—and I know he’s not going to cut me off for long. I mean, it’s not like he’s really going to stop paying the landscape architect at my country estate. But now I need your help.”

  “What can I do?”

  Colette’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Carlton finally picked up the phone. He told me to stop calling him. He said so many horrid, horrid things, I don’t even want to tell you. And he told me that he never wants to see me again! Can you believe it? I know he’s just upset about what happened to you. I know he’s feeling guilty, blaming himself in some way. Please, you’ve got to convince him that you’re fine, and that we’re friends, and that he doesn’t have to be angry at me anymore. I have something very important to discuss with him, and I need to see him as soon as possible. Will you please help me?”

  Rachel sat quietly, watching the tears spill down Colette’s cheeks. “You know, I haven’t seen Carlton since getting back to Shanghai. He hasn’t spoken to me or his parents. I don’t think he’s ready to talk to anyone yet.”

  “He’ll talk to you, Rachel, and I know where he is. He’s in the Presidential suite at the Portman Ritz-Carlton—that’s where he always hides out. Will you go and see him for me? Please?”

  “I can’t do that, Colette. I don’t want to force Carlton into seeing me until he’s ready. And I really don’t think I should be getting in the middle of your relationship. Nothing I can say will make him stop feeling the way he wants to feel. You need to give him time to heal, and he needs to figure out for himself what he wants.”

  “But he never knows what he wants. You have to tell him!” Colette pleaded. “I think the longer he broods about this, the more it will fester—like his accident. He was already such a mess all the time when he was recovering from his accident, I don’t want him to get into another mess in his head about this.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, Colette. People are messy. Life gets messy. Things are not always going to work out perfectly just because you want them to.”

  “That’s not true. Things always end up working out for me,” Colette said impetuously.

  “Well then I suppose you’ll just have to trust that they will this time.”

  “So you’re really not going to go over to the Portman?”

  “I just don’t see the point.”

  Colette’s eyes narrowed for a moment. “Oh, I get it. You don’t want me to get back with Carlton, do you?”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Yes, I see now. You want to punish me, don’t you?”

  “I don’t understand—”

  “You’re still angry about what happened to you.”

  Rachel gave Colette a look of frustration. “I’m not angry at you. I felt sad for you, maybe, but I was never truly angry.”

  “You felt sad for me?”

  “Yes, I felt sad about the whole situation, that things would ever get to a point where Roxanne would feel the need—”

  Colette suddenly slammed her fist onto the table. “How dare you feel sad for me! Who do you think you are?”

  Rachel jerked back in alarm. “Um, I didn’t mean it as an insult, Colette, I just meant—”

  “I took pity on you, Rachel Chu! I thought, here is this poor, pathetic orphan girl from America. I paid for your meals, I invited you to my house, you flew on my plane, I paid for the whole damn Paris trip. I gave you special access to the most exclusive places in the world and introduced you to all my important friends, and you can’t even do one small favor for me?”

  My God, she’s losing it. Rachel tried to remain calm. “Colette, I think you are being unreasonable here. I am grateful for all the generosity you have shown Nick and me, but I just don’t think it’s my place to tell Carlton to do anything, especially if it concerns his relationship with you.”

  “You’ve never really been my friend, have you? I see you clearly now, in your cheap American clothes and your cheap little jewelry!” Colette spat contemptuously.

  Rachel stared at her in shock. Was this really happening? She could see that all the other well-manicured women in the dining room were gawking at them now. The two security guards rushed up behind Rachel’s chair. “Is everything okay, miss?”

  “You brought security? Who do you think you are? Oh this is funny, are you trying to imitate me now? Well, I have double the security detail that you do! Roxanne was right about you all along—you’ve been envious of me from day one, and you’ve been plotting to get Carlton away from me and away from his family. This works out perfectly for you, doesn’t it? You want their money all to yourself. Well you can have their pathetic one-point-five billion dollars for all I care—that’s nothing compared to what my family has. You’re never in your life going to come close to touching me! All the money in the world is never going to buy you my style or my taste because you’ll always be common. You’re nothing but a common little bastard!”

  Rachel sat completely still for a moment, feeling her face get white hot. Deciding that she wasn’t going to endure one more second of Colette’s deranged abuse, she pushed her chair back and got up from the table. “You know, this is beyond absurd. For a while there I actually felt bad for you, even though I was violently ill for a week because of your actions. But now I have nothing but pity for you. You’re right, I will never be like you—thanks so much for the compliment! You’re nothing more than a spoiled, entitled little shit. And unlike you, I’m proud of my roots—I’m not talking about my birth father, I’m talking about the honest, hardworking mother who raised me, and the amazing family that supported her. We didn’t make some crazy fortune overnight, and we won’t ever need to hire some fancy butler to teach us manners. You don’t live in the real world, you never have, so I’m not even going to try arguing with you—it’s way below my pay grade to bother. You sit in your perfect little eco-luxury bubble, while your father’s companies are the biggest polluters in China. You may have all the money in the world, but you are the most morally impoverished child I’ve ever met! Grow up, Colette, and get a life!”

  With that, Rachel walked out of the hotel and onto the Bund, followed closely by the two bodyguards. “Shall we call the car, miss?” one of them asked.

  “You know, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get some fresh air. I think I’ll be fine from here—I’ll see you guys back at the house.”

  Rachel began walking down the famous curved boulevard, looking up at the gleaming art deco buildings and the red Chinese flags fluttering above them. As she passed a happy bride and groom getting their picture taken outside the Peace Hotel, her phone began to ring. It was Carlton.

  “Rachel! Are you okay?” he said, sounding anxious and euphoric at the same time.

  “Of course. Why?”

  “That fight you just had with Colette—”

  “How did you know about that?” Rachel gasped.

  “Someone videoed the whole thing on their phone from the mezzanine right above your table. It’s gone viral on WeChat! ‘Spoiled Bitch Epic Takedown,’ that’s what they’ve named it. Blimey—nine million views already!”

  17

  NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE WORLD

  LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS

  MAR VISTA CHILD KIDNAPPED
IN PRIVATE JET

  Breaking News—Van Nuys Airport was the scene of a high-speed chase last night at around 9:50 when LAPD officers pursued a private jet containing a two-and-a-half-year-old kidnapping victim as it sped down runway 16R. At least four squad cars were involved in pursuing the jet but failed to prevent it from taking off and leaving U.S. airspace.

  Minutes before, the child’s father, Bernard Tai, had made a frantic 911 call reporting that his daughter, Gisele, had been kidnapped from their home at 11950 Victoria Avenue in Mar Vista. Gisele’s babysitter allowed an unidentified woman into the home while Tai was out, and the woman departed with the child. By the time the police had tracked down Gisele at Van Nuys Airport, she was already aboard the private aircraft.

  Tai, who is a Singapore citizen but resides in Los Angeles, gave his occupation as unemployed and told LAPD that he was Gisele’s full-time caregiver. Tai was unreachable for further comment. LAPD would not release any more information about the jet pending further investigation.

  LOS ANGELES TIMES

  CHILD HEIRESS KIDNAPPED BY HER MOTHER

  Los Angeles—In a startling new development in the mysterious “private jet kidnapping” of a Mar Vista child two days ago, the Los Angeles Times has learned that the kidnapping victim, Gisele Tai, was taken by her mother, former Hong Kong soap opera actress Kitty Pong. Gisele is the sole heiress and only daughter of Bernard Tai, the president and non-executive vice chairman of TTL Holdings, which is headquartered in Hong Kong.

  Tai, who told LAPD that he was “unemployed,” is said to be worth over $4 billion and maintains lavish residences around the world. He is also the owner of the 388-foot megayacht Kitty’s Galore. However, for the past two years Tai and his family have quietly resided in a 2,807-square-foot house in the upper-middle-class neighborhood of Mar Vista. “I always suspected Bernard had money, but I never knew he had that kind of money. I knew he moved to Mar Vista because he wanted to raise his daughter in the most conscious way possible. He’s a terrific father. I never once met the wife,” said Linda C. Scout, who took a Nia class with Tai.