The Crazy Rich Asians Trilogy Box Set

by Kevin Kwan

  “Are you sure about that?” Victoria said indignantly.

  “Yes, I was in the room when Ah Ma specifically requested to see him.”

  Eddie shook his head angrily, bolting up from his chair. “If nobody is going to do anything about this, I am! Nicky’s going to give her another heart attack!”

  “Give who a heart attack?”

  Eddie spun around to see his grandmother sitting in a wheelchair as Nick pushed her into the breakfast room. Trailing them were her oxygen tank and several other medical devices, dutifully being guided along by her Thai lady’s maids. Behind them followed a cluster of nurses and the on-duty associate cardiologist.

  “Mummy! What are you doing down here?” Victoria shrieked.

  “What do you mean? I wanted to have breakfast in my own breakfast room. Nicky told me that Ah Ching was making her delicious crepes.”

  The young associate looked at Professor Oon rather helplessly, but handed his boss several computer printouts. “Prof, she insisted on coming downstairs, but I managed to run some diagnostics first.”

  Professor Oon scanned the morning’s reports, his eyes widening. “My goodness…Bravo, Mrs. Young—I am amazed you are feeling so well this morning!”

  Su Yi ignored the doctor, her eyes instead focusing on Eddie. “What an interesting place for you to sit,” she said mischievously.

  “Oh, sorry,” Eddie said, getting flustered as he hastily got up from his chair at the head of the table, while Nick dutifully rolled Su Yi’s chair into place.

  “Come, sit next to me,” Su Yi said to Nick, patting the table. One of the maids swiftly produced a chair, and as Nick took his seat beside his grandmother at the head of the table, he couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. For the first time since he had arrived in Singapore, he felt like he was home again.

  Ah Ling entered the breakfast room and placed a cup and saucer in front of Su Yi. “Here’s your favorite da hong pao*2 tea.”

  “Splendid. I feel like I haven’t tasted tea in ages. Ah Ling, did you get my message to see that Nicky’s room is made up? For some reason he’s been staying in Sentosa, of all places!”

  “Yes, Nicky’s bedroom is all ready for him,” Ah Ling announced, trying to suppress a giggle as she noticed the veins in Eddie’s neck beginning to twitch.

  “Is my little brother coming over tomorrow for Friday-night dinner?” Su Yi asked.

  “Yes. We’re making Mr. Shang his favorite yen woh.”

  “Ah, good. Astrid, be sure to invite Charlie tomorrow night.”

  Astrid’s heart soared. “I’m sure he would love to come, Ah Ma.”

  “Has everyone seen Astrid’s engagement ring?” Su Yi asked.

  Catherine, Alix, and Victoria craned their necks to study the diamond on Astrid’s finger, realizing with a start that they were staring at their mother’s old engagement ring.

  Alix, who had absolutely no interest in jewelry, quickly went back to devouring her crepe, but Victoria couldn’t hide her look of disappointment—she always thought that this ring would be hers one day.

  “Astrid, it looks lovely on you,” Catherine offered, before adding, “Are you planning on having an engagement party?”

  Su Yi cut in enthusiastically, “What a good idea. Ah Ling, will you call the T’siens and the Tans to come over tomorrow night? Let’s have a party!”

  “Of course,” Ah Ling said.

  “Mummy, I don’t think you should have so much excitement when you’re just beginning to feel better. You should rest,” Victoria said officiously.

  “Nonsense, I’ll rest when I’m dead. Tomorrow, I want to see everyone. Let’s celebrate Astrid’s engagement and Nicky’s homecoming!” Su Yi decreed.

  Fiona noticed that Eddie was turning purple. Elbowing him in the ribs, she said, “Eddie, loosen your ascot so the air can get in. And breathe, darling. Breathe deeply.”

  * * *

  *1 Cantonese for “How are you?”

  *2 Grown in the Wuyi Mountains of China’s Fujian Province, da hong pao—which translates to “big red robe”—is one of the world’s rarest teas. It’s priced at $1,400 per gram, which makes the tea worth thirty times its weight in gold.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  WU MANSIONS, SINGAPORE

  “Your IC, please,” the security guard said sternly as Astrid rolled down the window of her car. Astrid dug into her purse for her wallet, took out her Singapore Identity Card, and handed it to the guard. He held the card up to his eye level to compare the semi-pixilated photograph to her face, squinting at every detail.

  “It was a bad-hair day,” Astrid joked.

  The guard didn’t crack a smile, but took her IC into the guardhouse and began to scan it through his computer system.

  Astrid had to resist rolling her eyes. This particular Mainland Chinese guard already knew her—how many times had she been here in the past few months? It made her understand how the Wus came to develop a particular reputation among Singapore’s establishment when Charlie’s father, Wu Hao Lian, first made his fortune in the early 1980s. The Wus did seem pretentious—there was no avoiding that fact.

  At a time when the moneyed crowd preferred to populate elegant bungalows tucked away in the leafy enclaves of Districts 9, 10, and 11, Wu Hao Lian had bought a large parcel of land off one of Singapore’s busiest thoroughfares and built a sprawling family compound right there for all the world to see. He had erected a tall white stucco wall around the property, and at the top of the wall, sharp red-glazed tiles undulated up and down like the scaley curves on a dragon’s back, ending at the main gates with twin carved dragon heads in bronze. Rectangular gold plaques placed in niches at thirty-foot intervals around the wall were engraved in an ornate calligraphy script with the words:

  To ordinary Singaporeans—the ninety percent who lived in public-housing apartments—it seemed like the Wus were the richest family in the land. The family was seen being driven around in a fleet of ever-changing Rolls-Royces, always accompanied by security guards in a Mercedes wherever they went. They were one of the first families on the island to flaunt their private jet, and spent all their holidays touring Europe, where Irene Wu and her daughters developed a voracious appetite for haute couture and haute jewelry. Whenever Irene appeared in public, she was always clad in the most ornately festooned frocks and laden with so much jewelry that all the other socialites nicknamed her “Christmas Tree” behind her back.

  But all this was so long ago, Astrid thought as the tall steel gate embossed with the ornate W seal began to slide to one side and she sped up the short driveway to the Palladian-style house with a white columned portico covered in bougainvillea. The Wus had receded into the background, especially after Charlie’s father passed away and a new generation of brash billionaires burst onto the scene in the early 2000s, building even more ostentatious pleasure domes and vying for visibility in the society pages. Only Charlie’s mother remained in Singapore these days, reluctant to give up her house.

  Astrid pulled up behind a gray Mercedes SUV already parked underneath the portico. She saw Lincoln Tay, her distant cousin, emerge from the driver’s seat and walk around to the trunk of the car. “Ah Tock! Fancy seeing you here,” Astrid said as she got out of her car.

  “What can I tell you? You’re always hanging around the rich and famous, and I just work for them,” he joked. “Now Astrid, tell me why are you still driving that old Acura? Does it even pass inspection anymore?”

  “This is the most reliable car I’ve ever owned. I’m going to drive it until I’m forced to scrap it.”

  “Come on lah, you are so loaded, at the very least you should upgrade to the ILX. Or maybe Charlie can buy Acura the company for you and have them design you a car from scratch.”

  “Ha-ha, very funny,” Astrid said. It occurred to her that every time she saw this distant cousin, he would make some sort of r
eference to her money.

  “Hey, come and see something very special,” Ah Tock said, as he opened the trunk of the SUV. A large Igloo cooler was strapped to one side of the spacious rear, and Ah Tock carefully lifted out a large plastic bag that had been inflated with oxygen. Inside was a dragon-like fish about two feet in length.

  “Oh, it’s an arowana,” Astrid said.

  “Not just any arowana. This is Valentino, Mrs. Wu’s prized super red arowana. It was worth at least $175,000 and now it will be worth $250,000, minimum.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I just took Valentino to his plastic surgeon. He was beginning to develop a droopy eye, so we gave him an eye lift. And he even got a very slight chin job. See how handsome he looks now?”

  “There’s a plastic surgeon for fish?” Astrid asked incredulously.

  “The best in the world, right here in Singapore! He specializes in arowanas.”*1

  Before Astrid could properly soak in this fabulous bit of trivia, the front door opened and Irene Wu came running out. A round-faced woman in her early seventies, she was dressed in a bright orange Moroccan-style tunic top embroidered with tiny mirrored glass pieces and sequins, white capri pants, and fluffy white bedroom slippers embroidered with the Four Seasons Hotel logo. On her fingers sparkled an emerald ring; another ring consisting of three interlaced bands of diamonds set in white, yellow, and rose gold; and a pear-cut diamond ring that was nearly as big as the real fruit itself.

  “How is he? How’s my baby Valentino?” Irene asked breathlessly, rushing toward Ah Tock and the plastic bag.

  “Mrs. Wu, he’s doing very well. The surgery was a success, but he’s still a bit sluggish at the moment from being drugged. Let’s get him acclimated back in his tank.”

  “Yes, yes! Aiyah, Astrid, I didn’t even see you. Come in, come in. Sorry-ah, I am so kan jyeong*2 today because of Valentino’s procedure. My goodness, don’t you look lovely. Who are you wearing today?” Irene asked, admiring Astrid’s floral kimono-inspired wrap dress.

  “Oh, this is a dress that Romeo Gigli made for me years ago, Auntie Irene,” Astrid said, leaning in to give her a peck on the cheek.

  “Of course it is. So pretty! And don’t you think it’s high time you started calling me Mama instead of Auntie Irene?”

  “Come on, Mum, lay off Astrid!” Charlie said, standing at the front door. Astrid beamed at the sight of him and rushed up the steps to give him a tight hug.

  “Aiyah, I’m going to tear up and ruin my mascara. Look at my two lovebirds!” Irene sighed happily.

  As the group entered the house, Charlie steered Astrid towards the sweeping Gone with the Wind–style double staircase instead of the living room.

  “Where are you two going?” Irene asked.

  “I’m just taking her upstairs for a little while, Mum,” Charlie said in a slightly exasperated tone.

  “But Gracie has spent all day making so many types of nyonya kueh. You must come and have tea and nyonya kueh with me in a little while, okay?”

  “Of course we will,” Astrid said.

  As they climbed the stairs, Charlie said in a low voice, “My mum is getting more and more needy every time I see her.”

  “She just misses you. It must get rather lonely for her now that none of you are around in Singapore.”

  “She’s surrounded all day by her staff of twenty.”

  “It’s not the same and you know it.”

  “Well, she has a house in Hong Kong—she could spend all her time there if she wants, but she insists on staying here,” Charlie argued.

  “This is where most of her memories are. Just like yours,” Astrid said as she entered Charlie’s bedroom. The space had been redecorated several years ago in cool, masculine tones with shagreen-covered walls and custom-designed contemporary wood furnishings from BDDW in New York, but Charlie had kept one reminder of his childhood in the bedroom: The entire ceiling had been installed with a mechanized mural depicting all the constellations in the sky, and as a kid, Charlie would go to sleep every night staring at the glowing ceiling of stars as they rotated daily according to the zodiac.

  Today, he wasted no time in pulling Astrid onto the bed and smothering her with kisses. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” Charlie said, kissing the tender area right above her collarbone.

  “Me too,” Astrid sighed, as she put her arms around him, feeling the ripple of muscles down his back.

  After spending some time making out, they lay entwined in each other’s arms, staring up at the sparkling night sky together.

  “I feel like a teenager again.” Astrid giggled. “Remember how you used to sneak me up here after MYF*3 on Saturdays?”

  “Yeah. I still feel like I’m doing something naughty having you in here right now.”

  “The door’s wide open, Charlie. We haven’t done anything R-rated,” Astrid said with a laugh.

  “I’m so happy to see you in such a good mood,” Charlie said, running his fingers through her hair.

  “I feel like the storm’s finally lifted. You have no idea how amazing it felt to be in the breakfast room yesterday when my grandmother came downstairs.”

  “I can only imagine.”

  “She made everyone look at my engagement ring. It’s like she was daring the rest of the family to challenge us.”

  “Your grandmother is one cool lady. I’m looking forward to seeing her tonight. She invited my mum too, you know?”

  “Really?” Astrid looked at him in surprise.

  “Yeah, an engraved invitation was delivered this morning. My mother could hardly believe it. She never thought the day would come that she would be invited to Tyersall Park. I think she’s going to frame the card.”

  “Well, it’s going to be quite a party. I can’t wait to see the looks on certain faces when I walk into the drawing room with your mother!”

  “Which ones?”

  “Oh, you know, one or two of my aunties are snottier than others. And there’s one cousin in particular who’s going to lose his shit!”

  “Rico Suave, the Best Dressed Man in Hong Kong?” Charlie teased.

  “Best Dressed Hall of Fame, he’ll tell you.” Astrid laughed. “Come on, let’s go back downstairs before your mother thinks we’re doing something nasty up here.”

  “I want her to think I’m doing something nasty.”

  They got out of bed reluctantly, straightened their clothes, and strolled down the gracious curving stairway hand in hand. Passing through the archway underneath the staircase, they entered the grand living room, which was handsomely decorated in French Empire style intermingled with museum-quality Chinese antiques. In the middle of the cavernous space was a large free-form pond, where a grove of tropical trees grew out of the water, reaching almost to the top of a glass-domed cupola. Big koi swam in the gurgling pond, but the focal point of the living room was the main wall, which featured a two-hundred-gallon fish tank painted pitch-black that was recessed into the wall.

  “Valentino looks happy to be home!” Charlie said excitedly as the two of them went up to look at him. Inside the tank, Irene’s precious super red arowana undulated happily all alone, the pink fiber-optic light making his body glow an even brighter iridescent red. Astrid looked down at the coffee table, which was groaning with a colorful array of nyonya dessert cakes on navy-and-gold-rimmed Limoges plates.

  “Kueh lapis, my favorite!” Charlie said, plopping down on the plush gold-brocade sofa and picking up one of the buttery pieces of cake with his fingers.

  “Don’t you think we should wait for your mum?”

  “Oh, she’ll be out in a minute, I’m sure. Let’s get started. You don’t ever have to stand on ceremony here—you know how down-to-earth my mother is.”

  Astrid began to pour tea into Charlie’s cup from the silver tea service. “T
hat’s what I’ve always loved about your mother. She doesn’t put on any airs—she’s such a warm and simple lady.”

  “Yeah, tell that to the folks at Bulgari,” Charlie snorted, as Ah Tock entered the living room. “Lincoln! Are you going to join us for some tea? Where’s my mum?”

  “Um, she’s in her bedroom. She went to lie down,” Lincoln said as he fidgeted with his cell phone.

  “Why is she lying down?” Charlie asked.

  Astrid looked up from pouring her tea. “Is she not feeling well?”

  “Er, no…” Ah Tock stood there with a funny look on his face. “Astrid, I think you better call home.”

  “Why?”

  “Um…your grandma just passed away.”

  * * *

  *1 The Asian arowana is the world’s most expensive aquarium fish, especially coveted by collectors in Asia who will pay hundreds of thousands for a fine specimen. Known in Chinese as lóng yú—dragon fish—this long fish plated with large shimmering scales and with whiskers jutting from its chin resembles the mythological Chinese dragon. Aficionados believe that the fish brings good luck and fortune, and there have even been tales of arowanas sacrificing their lives by leaping out of their tanks in order to warn their owners of imminent danger or bad business deals. No wonder lovers of this fish are willing to shell out thousands to get their precious pets eye lifts, fin tucks, or chin jobs. No word on arowana Botox yet, but that can’t be far behind.

  *2 Cantonese for “panicky, anxious.”

  *3 Methodist Youth Fellowship.

  PART THREE

  The man who dies rich, dies disgraced.

  —ANDREW CARNEGIE, 1889

  CHAPTER ONE

  TYERSALL PARK, SINGAPORE