The Game You Play: A Rixon Raiders Novel

by L A Cotton

  If he had, I could kiss the play-offs goodbye.

  That was assuming this didn’t land on Principal Finnigan’s desk first thing Monday morning.

  Fuck.

  I’d really fucked up. But I’d been caught between a rock and a hard place.

  “Yeah, Cap?” Grady asked.

  “Shut the fuck up.”

  “Come on, we should probably get out of here before the cops show up.” Cam barely met my eyes, disappointment radiating off him.

  But screw him.

  He didn’t know the whole story yet, no one did.

  I’d tell them eventually, but first I needed a shit ton of Advil and a bottle of Jack.

  I managed to crawl into the back of Asher’s Jeep, Mya climbing in behind me while Cam and Hailee sat up front. There was no sign of Felicity, but I was almost certain I’d seen her there, standing with the girls.

  Maybe I dreamed it up.

  A mirage in the middle of one of the worst fucking beatings of my life.

  A beautiful angel in the middle of my own personal hell.

  “Guess the rumors are true,” Mya said, studying me intently.

  “Yeah, and what do they say?” It hurt to fucking breathe let alone talk, but there was something about the way she looked at me that had me intrigued.

  “You’re not just a pretty face.” Her lip curved. “Before you pass out, tell me one thing. Was it worth it?” She kept her voice low, as if we were sharing some big secret.

  “So worth it.” I sank back against the leather, swallowing a groan and closing my eyes. “So fucking worth it.”

  Her hearty laughter was the last thing I heard.

  “What the fuck were you thinking, bro?” The veins in Asher’s neck throbbed with frustration. “We’re this close to State and you go and screw it all up and for what? To say you have bigger balls than Thatcher? It makes no sense, none.”

  “Ash, leave it,” Cam said coolly, his eyes hard on me.

  “Leave it? Are you fucking kidding me? He’s out. When Coach gets wind of this, and he will, he’ll have no choice but to pull your,” he jabbed his finger at me, “ass from the team. All that hard work for nothing. I just don’t get it. You told us all to leave it, so then why the fuck did you—”

  “ASH!” Cam roared, and his eyes grew to saucers.

  “What?”

  “I said, leave it.”

  “Yeah, whatever, I’m out. I need a beer or something.” He stormed from the room, the door slamming behind him.

  “That went well,” I smirked, the pain meds and whisky slowly working their way through my system.

  “Jase, come on, cut him some slack. He’s only worried. We all are.”

  “Yeah, yeah, save me the Mother Teresa routine. I knew what I was doing when I went down there.”

  “So why’d you do it?”

  “Like you don’t already know.”

  “For her?” His brow hit his hairline. “But why?”

  Why?

  That was the question I’d asked myself over and over since getting back to Ash’s house.

  “Because the thought of him hurting her any more than he already had kills me.”

  A slow smile cracked his face.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Took you long enough.”

  “Doesn’t change anything,” I groaned, pain burning through every part of me.

  “I think it does. I think it changes everything.”

  “I’m not that guy, Cam. I’m not like you.”

  “You just got your ass handed to you... for a girl. I think you’re more like me than you give yourself credit for.”

  I snorted. “I had him.” There was no way Thatcher had the upper hand on me. Sure, I was bloody and bruised but so was he. My knuckles were busted wide open to prove it.

  “So in the end you risked everything... for a girl.”

  “Not just any girl.” My head dropped back, my eyes shuttering as the reality of everything sank in.

  Asher was right. I’d blown everything I’d ever worked for. But it wasn’t for nothing.

  It was for her.

  And I’d do it again. Over and over, if it meant protecting Felicity from the likes of Thatcher and his goons.

  “He has some images of her... us.” I groaned the words, guilt slamming into me. It was all my fucking fault. Thatcher might have been unhinged but I’d given him the ammunition he needed to come after Hailee and then Felicity. All this time, I’d thought by not caring, by not giving a crap about anyone around me, I was protecting myself. But they weren’t the weak link.

  I was.

  “Images, what kind of... oh, shit.”

  “Yeah,” I breathed out. I still had no idea how he got them, but I’d seen them with my own eyes; me and Felicity in my car down by the lake. “He threatened to send them viral unless I agreed to the fight.”

  “Did Aimee know? She was the one who messaged Asher.”

  “I have no idea why the fuck she was there. She turned up at my house to warn me it was a setup, that Thatcher intended on fucking me up enough to ruin my shot at playing in the play-offs.”

  “First Hailee, now you and Felicity. This isn’t just some harmless prank, Jase; it’s more serious than that.”

  “You think I don’t know that?”

  “We have to report him.”

  “I started it.” I ground out. “None of this would ever have happened if it wasn’t for that video I sent him of me and Aimee.”

  “True but that was between the three of you.” Cam rubbed his temples. “You never passed that shit around. He’s out of control and there’s still nothing stopping him from sending those images to everyone. We have to report him.”

  “Give me some time to figure this out, yeah?”

  “Jase...”

  “Twenty-four hours, that’s all I’m asking.”

  “Fine. But if you don’t handle this the proper way, I will. Coach and Principal Finnigan are going to blow a gasket when they find out about this, maybe the truth will soften the blow.”

  I didn’t share his optimism, but it was hard to worry about the play-offs when I currently felt like I’d never lift a ball again.

  “You look like shit. You sure I can’t take you to the ER?”

  “Nah, I’m good. Got everything I need.” I flicked my head over to the bottle of Jack and box of pills.

  “Okay, get some rest. If you need anything...”

  “Thanks, and Cam?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Was she there? I mean, I think I saw there but it’s all a bit hazy.”

  “She was there,” he hesitated, “but she left.”

  “Right.” His confirmation hurt more than any bruise caused by Thatcher’s fist.

  “She’ll come around.” He lingered by the door.

  “You think?”

  “I know so.” A faint smile tugged at his mouth.

  “How’s that?”

  “Because that’s what you do when you love someone.” Cameron slipped out of the room as if he hadn’t just delivered a bomb.

  He thought Felicity loved me?

  After everything I’d done to her, the way I’d treated her.

  It wasn’t possible.

  Was it?

  Did I even want her to love me?

  It was crazy.

  Her and me.

  I cared about her, sure. I wouldn’t have done everything I had for her if I didn’t.

  But love?

  I wasn’t in love with her.

  She was nothing like my usual type. Quirky and irritating. Unapologetically weird with her lists and lack of filter. But she was also kind and compassionate and she didn’t take herself too seriously. And she had a banging body hiding underneath those god-awful overalls she wore.

  My heart began to crash violently against my ribcage, my palms growing clammy. I was having some kind of reaction. A moment of complete ‘oh fuck’ clarity.

  I was ass over elbow in love with Felicity G
iles.

  When I woke up the next morning, I was pretty sure I was in hell. So when a knock sounded on the door, I croaked, “Come in,” hardly caring who it was. I just needed some damn pain meds.

  The door swung open and Hailee’s head peeked into the room. “Oh my god,” she hurried over to me, unshed tears in her eyes.

  “I hope you’re not going to cry on me,” I said gruffly, “because I don’t do tears.”

  “What the hell were you thinking?” Perching gingerly on the edge of the bed, Hailee grabbed the box of pain meds and gave me two, handing me a glass of water to wash them down with.

  A pained groan rumbled in my chest but I stuffed it down. “Thanks.”

  “Are you sure I can’t persuade you to go the ER?”

  “Not gonna happen. But I’ll go see our physician Monday.”

  “Coach is going to lose his shit.”

  “It is what it is.”

  “Jason don’t do that. Don’t downplay the fact you just threw away the play-offs to try to defend my honor.”

  “Of course you think this about you, little miss ‘look at me’.” Even though it hurt like a bitch, I chuckled. The look on Hailee’s face was just too damn priceless.

  “You mean, you didn’t do this to get Thatcher back for trashing the portraits?”

  “Oh, I definitely got a couple of hits in for that.” I managed a wink despite the bruising around my eye. “But no, it wasn’t about you.”

  “So what the hell… Felicity.” Her eyes widened. “This was all for Felicity.”

  “How’d you guess?”

  “Because this isn’t you. Well, it is, I mean you’re not exactly known for your cool headedness. But you wouldn’t risk everything, the play-offs, if it wasn’t important.” The understanding in her eyes was almost too much to bear. “What did he threaten to do?”

  “He has some photos of us. Threatened to send them viral if I didn’t agree to the meet. I couldn’t do that to her, not after everything.” Flopping back onto the pillows, I stared up at the ceiling.

  “So all this? Pushing her away, shoving Jenna in her face, acting like you didn’t care, it was all to distance yourself? To protect her?”

  My eyes slid slowly to hers. “He knew she was someone to me. He knew she was my weakness, so yeah, I thought if I pushed her away, if I pretended I didn’t care, he’d forget about her. I didn’t know he had the images. He must have had one of his guys keeping tabs on me.”

  “Oh, Jason.” Hailee did something she’d never done before; she grabbed my hand and squeezed gently. “You care. All this time you cared. You know you have to tell her, right?”

  I gave her a pointed look.

  “Jason, come on, she thinks you and Aimee—”

  “Aimee is nothing to me.”

  “I know that, but Felicity saw the way she jumped in to protect you. Put yourself in her shoes. She didn’t even know you had an ex.”

  “Fuck,” I breathed out, pain splintering through me. Only this time, it wasn’t just the physical kind.

  Everything was so fucking messed up.

  “You have to fix this. Otherwise, it was all for nothing.”

  That’s where she was wrong though.

  It wasn’t all for nothing.

  Because if I knew anything about relationships, about love, it was that you protected the people you cared about. You stood up for them and made sacrifices.

  And I’d just made the ultimate one.

  I’d sacrificed the one thing I wanted more than anything. But even now, even knowing I probably wasn’t going to see a single play-off game, I didn’t regret it.

  I only regretted not choosing Felicity sooner.

  Felicity

  I was in dream heaven. Jason’s greedy lips tracing featherlight kisses up the slope of my neck, the heat of his body radiating around me, his delicious scent assaulting my senses.

  “Open your eyes, babe,”

  “I don’t want to,” I murmured, feeling desire swirl low in my tummy.

  “Felicity.” His voice was so real. “Open your eyes.”

  “No, don’t make me. I don’t want this to be over.” It was too nice here. Wrapped in his arms, safe and protected. Cherished. I snuggled my face into his shoulder, breathing him in.

  “Jason,” I sighed, his name sweet on my tongue.

  “Yeah, babe?”

  “Make love to me, please.” I wanted him. More than I’d ever wanted anything. Certain, if he didn’t touch me soon, I’d drown in the flames raging inside me.

  A throaty groan filled my ears as his lips brushed the shell of my ear. “Open your eyes and ask me again.”

  Damn him. Even in my dreams he was insufferable.

  “Fine, all good things have to come to an end eventually,” I mumbled to myself because I knew the second I opened my eyes—

  “Jason?” I grabbed the sheets, my body paralyzed as he loomed over me. “B- but what are you… Jason?”

  “Hey.” His swollen lip curved into a hesitant smile. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

  “Scared me?” I sucked in a harsh breath, my back plastered against the pillows. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

  “Among other things.” A faint smirk played on his face.

  “Oh God,” I mumbled, turning my face into the pillow. It hadn’t been a dream at all. Jason was here, in my room.

  He’d kissed me… and I’d begged him to make love to me.

  The universe owed me some good karma in the future after all the shit it had put me through lately.

  Sensing my impending meltdown, Jason backed up, giving me some space. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, revealing the extent of his injuries. I reached for him instinctively, ghosting my fingers over the dark bruises around his eyes. He leaned into me, exhaling a shaky breath.

  “Why, Jason? Everything you’ve worked for…” my voice trailed off, the weight of what had happened on Friday night settling over us.

  “For you,” he whispered.

  The words were like a gunshot to my heart.

  Two little words I’d never in a million years expected to hear.

  “Me?” I choked out, my eyes searching his for any signs this was a joke. That it was all a part of his cruel game.

  “We should probably talk.”

  “Talk… you broke into my house in the middle of the night… to talk?”

  “I was supposed to wait.” He raked a hand through his unruly brown hair, letting it fall haphazardly around his face. “Had it all planned out and everything. But I was lying in bed, trying to ignore the pain, and I couldn’t wait another second longer. I had to see you now.”

  “You did?”

  I’d spent all weekend fretting over him, greedily absorbing any minute details Hailee would feed me.

  Jason nodded, a small uncertain smile lifting the corner of his mouth. He winced at the involuntary action.

  “It hurts?”

  “Like you wouldn’t believe. But not as much as it hurts knowing I might have screwed things up between us.”

  Us.

  He thought there was an us still?

  Maybe I was still dreaming, stuck in some beautiful nightmare.

  “Is this real?” I asked quietly. He leaned in, cupping my face, brushing his thumb over my lips. Raw desire blazing in the depths of his eyes. “Does this feel real?”

  “Honestly, I’m not sure.” I could barely think straight with the way my heart was galloping in my chest, crashing against my ribs looking for a way out.

  “What about this?” Jason moved closer, his lips touching mine.

  “I’m still not sure, you should probably do it again. Just so I can be certain.” I fought a smile and he chuckled, the sound like a salve to my battered heart.

  Slowly, he threaded his fingers into my hair, tilting my face ever so slightly to align our mouths at the perfect angle. “Jason,” I pleaded, desperate for him to kiss me, to show me this was real. But he hovered there, staring at me with such inte
nsity I thought my heart might explode. His eyes were dark and hooded and filled with so much emotion, I couldn’t breathe.

  I couldn’t do anything but wait.

  “You are the single most important thing in my life, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” he said with complete conviction.

  Then he kissed me.

  But it wasn’t just a kiss at all.

  It was Jason willingly handing over his heart. With every press of his lips, every stroke of his tongue, he silently told me everything I’d so desperately craved to hear from him as his mouth moved over mine. He might have been the one in control, setting the pace, but I was the one with the power. It simmered between us. An unspoken admonition. He was apologizing to me through actions, not words, but the ball was in my court regarding what happened next.

  “Jason, wait,” I said, physically forcing myself to break the kiss.

  He dropped his forehead to mine, letting out a pained groan. “Hey,” I said, sliding my hands gently against his cheeks, forcing him to look at me. “I’m here, I’m right here, but you’re right, we should talk.”

  There was so much we needed to figure out. Things I needed to know before I let him off the hook.

  “I can come back later,” he started to pull away, “when it’s—”

  “Jase?”

  “Yeah, Giles?”

  “Shut the hell up and lie down with me.” I shuffled over to make room for him and threw back the cover. His brow went up but his expression quickly softened.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Get over here before I change my mind.” My parents were sleeping right down the hall, and I didn’t want to think about what my dad would do if he found me with a boy in my bed, let alone a Raider, but I wasn’t about to give up the chance to have Jason here like this. In my bed, heart on his sleeve and ready to talk.

  He kicked off his sneakers, his hoodie going next, before slipping in beside me. We lay on our sides, facing one another. “What did you mean, you did it for me?” I asked.

  “Thatcher knew you were someone to me. He sent me some messages, threatening to come at me through you. So I distanced myself.” His eyes shuttered. “Pushed you away.”