Everybody Wants to Rune the World: A Happily Everlasting World Novel (Bewitchingly Ever After Book 2)

by Mandy M. Roth

  “Betty,” said Walden, looking tired.

  “They’re not,” she said in a sweet-sounding voice. “There are men’s fingers in them too. The recipe is an equal opportunist. Just got to shave the men’s fingers a bit more often than not. A number of men have hairy knuckles.”

  Sigmund stopped just shy of drinking the tea. Was she serious? Surely she didn’t mean she’d really baked fingers into the treats.

  The look on Jake’s face said she was more than serious.

  “The tea is safe,” said Morgan in a hushed whisper, as if she didn’t want to offend Betty. “But always question what she gives you food wise. Her type of demon feeds on different things—but their favorite things are body parts. Apparently, that’s why she’s here, so Luc can keep a closer eye on her. I don’t think he had the heart to banish her to a corner of hell. She is very sweet except for the whole eating-people thing.”

  “She’s a demon?” asked Sigmund. “She looks so unassuming.”

  “I don’t think she was always this way,” said Morgan. “And just because she looks like a loving grandmother, doesn’t mean she’s harmless. Betty can handle herself if need be. Trust me.”

  Betty took a cookie for herself and popped it into her mouth, downing it before Jake was able to stop her. She then brushed the edges of her lips in a dainty manner as if she hadn’t just eaten a finger-filled baked good.

  Sigmund swallowed hard, feeling slightly ill. He set the cup of tea back on the tray. He’d play it safe and not drink the tea either. Just in case the demon had gotten something past Morgan.

  Just then, Luc Dark entered, wearing one of his signature tailored suits. The man was always dressed like he had a high-powered board meeting to get to right before cigars and drinks at a boys’ club. He nodded to Sigmund. “How are you holding up?”

  “I killed two people, how do you think I’m holding up?” questioned Sigmund. “Sorry. I’m not trying to be difficult. I appreciate you opening your place to me. Thank you.”

  Luc gave a warm nod and smile. “Of course.”

  Betty looked toward Sigmund. Her eyes crinkled with mirth and she appeared downright giddy. “You killed two people? Tell me all about it, dear. Go slow. Spare no detail. Let me pull up a chair. I don’t want to miss anything. Did you keep the bodies? Can I eat them?”

  Walden gave Luc a pained look.

  Luc appeared slightly embarrassed and went to the woman, putting an arm around her, treating her as if she were frail rather than insane. “Betty, dear, what did we talk about just the other day?”

  “That eating the guests is wrong and I’m not allowed to do it anymore,” she said, taking his hands in hers, looking at him as if she were his grandmother and he was the sweetest thing in her life. Considering he was the devil himself, that was saying something.

  “Well, yes, but what else did we talk about?” he asked, his shoulder-length dark, wavy hair falling forward slightly. His obsidian gaze slid to the woman’s face. “You remember, right?”

  She stared up at him, seeming so delicate, so innocent and inconspicuous. Not like someone who would bake fingers into anything. “That I can’t even think about eating the guests?”

  Morgan sighed. “She’s as old as time, Luc. Literally. Like been roaming the Earth since the start of it. She gets confused. She can’t help it. Betty, he’s reminding you that you’re not allowed to try to feed body parts to anyone, and you’re not allowed to eat people. You’re on that Keto diet thing that doesn’t have people listed as an acceptable meat. Remember? We sent away for that cookbook for it and everything. The one Barnebas brought the other day.”

  “I have a pie in the oven for Barnebas. He just loves pies,” she said, clearly not following along.

  Luc sighed. “Betty, are there any body parts in the pie?”

  “Do zombie parts count?” she asked, her voice almost childlike.

  Walden grunted.

  Jake all-out laughed.

  The twins shared a look, appearing amused.

  “Betty,” stressed Luc.

  Morgan huffed next to Sigmund. “Let her eat zombie-part pie. They were dead to start with and let’s be honest, we have more than one voodoo priestess in town, so it’s almost like there’s an all-you-can-eat buffet here for her. And New Orleans is only how far away? How many voodoo practitioners are there? That place is crawling with zombies. Pun intended. She’s really doing us a favor, keeping the zombie population somewhat manageable. Wish she’d start eating vampires. They’re everywhere down here. I swear they all flocked here in hopes of being the lead in a romance novel. As if.”

  The devil rubbed the bridge of his nose like he was getting a headache and then exhaled slowly, bending a fair amount, since he was Sigmund’s height. “Betty, you can eat the pie this time, but you’re not allowed to give any to anyone else. Okay?”

  She patted his cheek. “Luc, you’re such a good boy. Want me to make gumbo for dinner? You’re always happy with a bellyful of rice and gumbo. Got me a special family recipe for that too. You a fan of werewolf toes?”

  “No!” everyone but Sigmund shouted fast.

  “We’ll order something in,” said Luc. “Okay?”

  She nodded. “Speaking of orders, Bob helped me order the werewolf toes on the computer. If you buy them in bulk, you get a discount.”

  Morgan laughed.

  Luc grunted. “Did he now?”

  Betty nodded. “He’s always looking out for me. Such a dear, that one. He was worried about me when I got home later than normal from my evening walk.”

  Luc stiffened. “Betty, you went out alone again?”

  “Oh yes, dear,” she said, smiling sweetly. “It was a lovely evening.”

  Walden gave the devil a look that said that news wasn’t great. “Do I need to have my deputies comb the area for any issues?”

  Morgan groaned. “Betty, did you do anything Luc would be upset about last night?”

  The older woman touched her chin lightly, pondering the question. “I walked over and had sweet tea on the porch with Cherry. Toil and Trouble went missing, and she cast a locator spell to find them. I walked with her down to the marina. We saw Rockey on the way. Did you know he’s an actor?”

  Morgan laughed. “Yes, Betty. We know.”

  “You were with Ms. Cherry the whole time?” asked Luc.

  Betty tipped her head back and forth as if she were dancing in place to music only she heard.

  “Betty, focus,” said Luc. “Were you with Ms. Cherry the entire time you were out on your walk?”

  “Oh, no,” said the small woman. “Once we found Toil and Trouble near the water, she took them home. I sat on a bench and watched the boats coming in.”

  “Sounds harmless enough,” said Morgan.

  “Howie found me then. Said I had to come home. That it was time. Such a good boy, that one.”

  Everyone exhaled, looking relieved. Sigmund wasn’t sure what the woman had a history of, but from the way they were acting, it was noteworthy to say the least.

  She smiled. “Then I smelled the body under the pier. It’s where I got the men’s fingers for my recipe.”

  Walden whipped out his cell phone. “Head on down to the pier. It would seem we’ve another body.” He put his hand over the cell a second as he lowered it. “Betty, can you tell me anything more about what you saw down there?”

  “Sand and water.”

  York snorted.

  Walden sighed and kept giving orders to someone on the phone. When he disengaged the call, he stared at Luc. “Do you think she’s had anything to do with the rash of dead bodies we’ve had this year?”

  Betty clapped and brought her joined hands to her chin. “Oh, it’s been wonderful, hasn’t it?”

  Morgan laughed.

  Sigmund just sat there, too stunned to comment.

  Luc glanced at Betty. “Why don’t you go on into the kitchen and see if Marie-Claire or Murielle need a hand getting everything ready for the spell they’re going to
cast?”

  Betty perked. “The one to help the new boy who came to us today, and will need dark magic summoned?”

  Sigmund nearly laughed at being called a boy. He was thirty, but to a demon as old as time, he probably did seem like a boy.

  Luc nodded. “His name is Sigmund, and he’s a friend of mine from Everlasting. You know, one of the towns I keep a vacation home in?”

  “Oh, yes. Sounds like a lovely place. Howie would be terrified of it,” she said.

  Sigmund wasn’t sure who Howie was or why he’d be scared of someplace that was thought of as lovely.

  The twins chuckled.

  The one with his shirt untucked and holes in his jeans, who was sitting in a chair across from Sigmund, grinned. “I still can’t believe a demon is scared of anything, let alone happy things. Weird.”

  “York, don’t pick on my best friend,” said Morgan defensively.

  York offered a cocksure grin. “If you’re still bitter that music television no longer plays music, raise your hand.”

  The box of tissues went flying rapidly across the room at York.

  He caught it with one hand, laughing as he did. He then set it on the coffee table. “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?”

  The other twin, who was standing, groaned. “Morgan, you know he spent weeks learning ’80s songs so he’d have an arsenal of titles to use when talking to you, right?”

  Sigmund stared at him, not following.

  Morgan sighed. “I became living-challenged in the late ’80s. Happened at a music concert. York thinks he’s funny. He’s not.”

  York put his hands to his chest. “What Have I Done to Deserve This, you West-end Girl?”

  Morgan’s tea wobbled, and it looked as if she’d been surprised by what York had said. “You brushed up on Pet Shop Boys songs?”

  York flashed a smile. “Howie told me you like them.”

  “I do,” said Morgan quietly, some of the snark leaving her voice.

  Chapter Four

  Sigmund’s attention was pulled in the direction of Jake, and the hall that led to the foyer and the open front door. A light breeze brought with it a scent that appealed to him greatly. Sage and lavender if he wasn’t mistaken. As he caught another whiff, his body responded, tightening, a second before what he carried within him awoke.

  The kraken came to life in him, and he grabbed the arm of the sofa, sucking in a huge breath. That only served to give him a bigger dose of the alluring scent. His heart beat madly and his pulse raced, so loud that it drowned out everything else around him.

  Vaguely, he became aware that Luc was before him, bending, putting his hand to Sigmund’s head, worry creasing the man’s brow. His mouth moved but all Sigmund heard was his own heart beating wildly. For a moment, he was fairly sure the organ had left his body altogether. For all he knew, it was now out in the kitchen with Betty, waiting to be part of her gumbo.

  Sage and lavender floated over the air to him still, and a low growl started deep in his chest. The kraken was not playing around. It wanted to be free. It wanted the source of the scent.

  Frantic, he looked toward Jake, a man he trusted fully, scared he’d lose control again and someone else would end up hurt or dead. “D-don’t let me hurt anyone!”

  “I won’t,” said Jake, a pained expression on his face.

  “Sigmund, look at me,” said Luc, his dark eyes flashing to red and back again just like that.

  The kraken retreated, but it wasn’t gone.

  No.

  Sigmund could feel it, lurking just below the surface, as if it were swimming back and forth deep within him, waiting for the perfect moment to make itself known again.

  It was an opportunistic pain in his backside, and it was evident he wasn’t at a point where he could control it.

  At all.

  That was why he was in Hedgewitch Cove, because Jake had told him these people could help him. He just hoped his friend was right.

  Luc sighed. “Bails, you okay?”

  With a shaky breath, Sigmund answered, “Not in the least.”

  Luc nodded, compassion on his face. “I know. It didn’t get away from you.”

  This time.

  The words didn’t need to be spoken. Everyone was already thinking them.

  Walden took a deep breath. “Sigmund, my first time shiftin’ into a gator fully left me dazed for thirty years one summer. I ate three demons while in gator form. Found out about it later.”

  “Don’t tell Betty,” said Morgan lightly. “She’ll be jealous.”

  “Thirty years one summer?” asked Sigmund.

  York laughed. “Daddy is so country. It’s similar to a month of Sundays if you’ve heard that phrase. He’s basically saying he was dazed and confused for a long time over that summer.”

  “Ah. I see,” said Sigmund.

  Morgan snorted. “No, you don’t. You’re about as Yankee as they come. Not that I’m judging or anything. I’m not local, but I’ve been a dead resident here since I crossed over, so you’d think I’d count as one. Nope. To them, I’m still a Yankee.”

  Sigmund laughed nervously, realizing they were all trying to make him feel better about what he was going through. “Thank you.”

  Luc stayed bent before Sigmund. “Marie-Claire and Murielle are Caillat witches, Bails. I know that doesn’t mean a lot to you now, but I need for you to trust that they are powerful. And they are good women. Murielle is Walden’s wife. Two of their girls are headed here now to assist in a spell to help you get a leash on your shifter side, at least long enough for you to be taught control techniques.”

  Sigmund stared at the devil. “Who can possibly teach me to control this? No one can know what it’s like to have something this dangerous as their other half. No offense to Jake or any other shifter here, but centaurs kind of pale next to a kraken. Half of Jake stays him when he changes forms. He can think rationally. I turn into a huge squid-like beast with a one-track mind.”

  Nodding, Luc stared at Sigmund. “True. But I think York can relate to what it’s like to share himself with a beast that doesn’t think like him at all when it’s in the lead.”

  “York thinks?” asked Morgan, earning a grin from York.

  “Only when I absolutely have to, darlin’,” added York from the sidelines before looking at Sigmund. “I’m a were-shark. A great white.”

  “And are you in control when you’re fully shifted?” asked Sigmund, needing hope.

  “As much as I can be,” said York. “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. I won’t lie to you. The road isn’t going to be paved with cute, fluffy kittens.”

  Morgan gasped. “Don’t let Howie hear you saying cute, fluffy kittens. It will take us days to get him out from under his bed. Took Luc and I nearly four days to get him to come out after a guest hugged him three weeks back. Traumatized him something fierce. Almost as bad as the happy clown from York’s and Louis’s fifth birthday party. That thing scared Howie so badly that he stayed under his bed for a solid year.”

  Sigmund glanced to his right at the nothingness there. “Really?”

  Everyone else in the room nodded and spoke at the same time. “Really.”

  “This is a very odd town,” said Sigmund.

  Walden grinned. “We pride ourselves on that here, boy. Never forget that. This is the perfect town for you. We don’t judge. Well, not that much. We do our best to discourage the eatin’ of body parts.”

  The smell of sage and lavender found Sigmund again as Luc stood and stepped away. This time, the kraken behaved, more than likely not wanting to take on the devil two times in a row.

  It was smarter than he gave it credit for.

  Walden glanced in the direction of the hall. “Virginia is here. I can smell her.”

  Sigmund perked. Who was Virginia, and why did her scent make him so crazy?

  “Missi shouldn’t be far behind,” said Louis. He looked at Sigmund. “They can help.”

  “It’s true.
All my kids got at least some magic in them, and hunter.”

  Sigmund’s breath caught. “Hunter?”

  “I come from a long line of them,” said Walden. “It’s how Jake and me know each other.”

  “But you’re a were-gator,” said Sigmund, confused as to how the man could be both a hunter of supernaturals and a supernatural.

  “Don’t go reminding me!” yelled a woman with a thick Southern accent, tinged with French, from the kitchen area, making the twins laugh.

  “Careful, Mémé Marie-Claire is out there getting ready to work a spell with Momma,” said York with a smirk. “She might just happen to drop a little something in it to turn you into a toad. We all know how well you and your mother-in-law get along.”

  “Your momma won’t let her turn me into a toad,” said Walden, sounding a little unsure of his own words.

  “Uh, Dad,” said Louis from his seat. “I heard Mémé Marie-Claire offer you as a snack to Betty when we got here. Thankfully, Betty said she didn’t like gator meat. Thought it was kind of gamey.”

  Walden laughed and glanced at Sigmund. “My line was cursed a long time ago by witches. They wanted hunters to know what it was like to be the things they hunted. So, everyone in my line is a supernatural of some sort. It’s random. Since my mate is a witch, each of my kids also has witch in them.”

  Louis nodded. “We’re basically hodgepodges.”

  “What he said,” added York.

  Just then, a boxer dog came running into the living room, and Sigmund did a double take when he realized what he was carrying in his mouth.

  A head.

  A human head.

  A human head that was looking right at him. It blinked.

  Sigmund gasped.

  The head gave him a look that said he was offended by the shock. It then glanced up at Luc. “Dark, your dog is a menace.”

  Sigmund lurched back on the sofa. The head could talk?

  Morgan laughed. “That’s Hank. Headless Hank, to be exact. You might have heard of him.”

  York nodded. “He’s kind of famous. Most know him as the Headless Horseman.”

  “Are you kidding me?” blurted Sigmund.