Amber Brown Is Tickled Pink

by Paula Danziger

  Luckily she isn’t looking at Fredrich. He has his finger in his nose. No surprise to me. I expected it earlier.

  His dad swats his arm and says in a low voice, “Do you want me to make you start wearing gloves again?”

  Fredrich blushes and pulls his hand away from his nose. He puts his hand in his pocket.

  I try to pretend that I didn’t hear his dad, but I can tell Fredrich knows I did.

  Normally I would wonder if he had a booger in his pocket.

  Today, I just feel a little sorry for him.

  Chapter Seven

  Mom and Max are holding hands. They are staring out at the pond. Mom lays her head on Max’s shoulder. It’s so perfect that I feel like this is the moment.

  I turn to Fredrich’s father and blurt, “Do you ever have weddings here?”

  “AMBER!” Mom says.

  “Sure we do,” Mr. Allen says. “Mostly in the off-season. Are you two getting married?”

  “Yes,” Max tells him. “Later this spring.”

  Mr. Allen smiles. “And you’re still looking for a place?”

  I can tell he thinks my idea is as good as I do.

  I hold my breath, hoping that Mom doesn’t say, “No, we’re all set. We’re going to city hall.”

  Mom and Max look at each other but don’t say anything.

  Mr. Allen jumps in. “Since Amber and Fredrich are in the same class, I can give you the friends and family discount. And if the wedding is before June first, we can do even better. I think you’ll be surprised at the price. Why don’t you come inside and we can talk?”

  “Sure.” Max answers before Mom can say anything.

  She looks a little flummoxed. But she follows them.

  I cross my fingers on both hands. Make it work, I think, make it work!

  Then I realize I’m alone on the porch with Fredrich. I don’t think I’ve ever been alone with him before.

  “It would be nice if they get married here,” he says.

  “It’s pretty.” I try to think of something else to say, but I’m surprised to find that I, Amber Brown, am out of words.

  “Do you want to walk down to the pond?” Fredrich asks.

  “Will there be skunks?”

  “They don’t usually come out in the daytime.”

  I glance through the window. I can see Mom and Max talking to Mr. Allen.

  “Don’t worry, we’ve got time. Once Dad gets started, it will take them a while to get away from him. He’s a really good salesman.”

  I hope he’s a super-salesman. I look at the pond again. “Okay, let’s go.”

  I don’t really want to spend that much time alone with Fredrich, but I need to give his dad lots of time to work on Mom and Max.

  We go by a bonfire pit.

  “We have the best campfires,” Fredrich says. “Lots of sing-alongs. Dad knows tons of professional musicians. They love to come here in the summer.”

  Fredrich’s life is more interesting than I had realized. “How long have you had this place?”

  “My grandfather started the camp. I really love it here. My whole family does. That’s why my brother Marvin was so upset when Dad banned him from camp until June.”

  “Why did he do that?”

  “Because this is where Marvin got the skunk that he put in the school. I’m glad I was smart enough not to help him with that one or I’d be at home today too. My dad is pretty tough.”

  Fredrich smiles. It surprises me. He doesn’t smile that often in school.

  This is the longest conversation Fredrich and I have ever had.

  In fact, it’s the only conversation we’ve ever had.

  The pond has a nice sandy beach. Fredrich shows me the boathouse . . . . it’s full of canoes and kayaks.

  We go to the lifeguard tower. “Can I climb it?”

  “Sure!”

  I go to the top. I love it up there. It’s got a great view!

  I turn around and see Mom and Max back on the porch.

  I wave to them and climb down. “Let’s go,” I say to Fredrich. “I want to find out what’s happening.”

  As we get closer, I see that Max is grinning. Mom isn’t exactly grinning, but she doesn’t look unhappy either.

  “Come on, Fredrich,” Mr. Allen says. “We need to get to back to work. You folks stay here as long as you want. Come say good-bye before you leave.”

  I grin at them. “Sooooooooo?”

  Max grins too. “It’s really a great price.”

  Mom makes a face.

  “Come on, Sarah. This would actually cost less than we planned on before we even started looking. It’s the price tag we were after but couldn’t find in town. It wouldn’t be formal, it wouldn’t be fancy, but it would be a load of fun.”

  Wow! This idea is even better than I thought!

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Mom says. “City hall would be so easy.”

  The time has come for the best, most powerful begging I have ever done.

  I drop to my knees and fold my hands in front of me. “Oh please!” I cry. “Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh purple please, oh glorious please, oh please like I’ve never asked for anything before. Let’s have the wedding here with all our friends!”

  A smile twitches at the corner of Mom’s mouth.

  Suddenly Max drops down beside me. He stretches his arms toward Mom. “Oh please!” he cries. “Oh please, my beloved, my darling, my jelly bean!”

  He’s good at this!

  Mom starts to laugh.

  “Oh please, queen of all mothers!” I cry. “Oh please, mother of the best child!”

  Max spreads his arms wide. “Oh please, my glorious bride-to-be. With but one word you can make our day.”

  “Our week!” I spread my arms wide too.

  “Our year!” Max cries.

  “All right, all right!” Mom gasps. “Let’s have the wedding here. Just stop begging. My stomach hurts.”

  Victory!

  Max and I hop up and share a high five.

  A lot of people say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

  Fortunately for me and Max, one way to Mom’s heart is through her funny bone.

  Chapter Eight

  “How about this one?” Aunt Pam says. “It’s not pink.”

  “No, it’s outer-space green,” I say.

  The dress is iridescent, which means shiny. And yes, I like shiny, but this one looks like an alien ate something that didn’t agree with it.

  I give Aunt Pam my “I can’t believe you expect me to wear this dress” face. It’s a face I’ve been making all day. Aunt Pam is getting exasperated. Mom is getting exasperated. The saleswoman is getting exasperated . . . . . . and we’ve been to six stores before we even got to her.

  I, Amber Brown, am exasperated too. I am also disgruntled, peeved, and put out. I have nothing to wear. I don’t mean that I’m naked. But now that we are having the wedding, I must, must, MUST have THE dress!

  It’s not going to be alien green.

  It’s also not going to be pink. Not that there’s anything wrong with pink. I like pink. I have a pink knapsack. But I told Aunt Pam and Mom when this long day began that I don’t think the best child should look like cotton candy.

  I’m not going to wear a little tuxedo suit either. That was Aunt Pam’s idea.

  Aunt Pam is here because now that the wedding is big again, or at least medium big, she decided to fly in from California to help with the preparations. She used her frequent-flyer miles. Aunt Pam loves frequent-flyer miles as much as I love my Frequent Dumpling Card.

  I, Amber Brown, think there should be Frequent Cards for everything.

  Mom already has her dress. She got it two months ago when she was visit
ing Aunt Pam.

  For her wedding with Dad, Mom wore a white satin dress with a long train. I don’t mean that it had a whistle and a caboose, just that it trailed along on the floor about ten feet behind her. Dad was in a tuxedo. The two of them looked a little like those couples you see on top of wedding cakes.

  I know this because their wedding picture used to hang on their bedroom wall.

  Now the picture is in my closet, next to the chewing gum ball.

  The dress Mom’s going to wear to marry Max isn’t really that fancy. But it is really, really pretty. The only bad thing is that it’s a color Mom and Aunt Pam call “ochre.”

  I, Amber Brown, know a lot about names of colors and ochre is the worst one I’ve ever heard. It’s sounds like that slimy green vegetable, okra. But it’s not. Mom’s dress is kind of caramel-colored. I think caramel is what they should call it.

  I try on three more dresses and hate them all. They should have been labeled UGLY, UGLIER, and UGLIEST.

  “Amber,” Aunt Pam says, “if you’re not careful, you’ll end up going to the wedding in a burlap sack.”

  “It’ll be better than this.” I hand a turquoise monstrosity back to the clerk.

  “That’s it,” Mom says. “It’s time to call it a day. We’ve got plenty of other things to worry about.”

  The clerk looks relieved.

  When we get to the car, Aunt Pam offers to drive. “You’ve got too much on your mind, Sarah.”

  “Okay, but hurry. Max is coming over so we can finalize the guest list. The problem is, he has more cousins than Amber has mismatched socks. There’s no way we can invite all of them.”

  I thought I liked lists, but this guest list is driving us all crazy. Max keeps trying to put people on. Mom keeps trying to take people off.

  It’s a trying situation.

  “We should make a set of Max’s cousins trading cards,” I say.

  Aunt Pam laughs. “Good idea! Your mom and Max can trade cards back and forth until there’s a list they agree on. Oh, and we could save them to use as favors!”

  Mom groans. “Favors! I forgot about favors. Remind me to put that on the THINGS WE HAVE TO DO FOR THIS DARN WEDDING list.”

  I tell her that phrase is a sign of a bad attitude. I like saying this because she is always bothering me about my attitude.

  Mom sighs. “You’re right. Please don’t tell Max I said it. I just forgot about the favors.”

  “Okay, but I’m confused. Are we supposed to do favors for people, like walking their dogs or mowing their lawns? What does that have to do with the wedding?”

  Aunt Pam laughs. “It’s fun to give a little gift to everybody who comes to the wedding, something to remember it by. That’s what people call a favor. I was thinking, Amber, that you and your friends could make the favors. They could have glitter.”

  “Glitterific!”

  Mom doesn’t even roll her eyes. She is looking a little cross-eyed. It’s not a good look for a bride.

  We pull into the driveway.

  Max is already there waiting for us. “What took you so long? Did you get a dress, Amber?”

  “Don’t ask,” I say.

  Max raises his eyebrows, but puts his hands over his mouth.

  We go inside.

  Max uncovers his mouth and says, “I’ve got good news. I think we’ve solved the music problem.”

  I know music is a problem because Mom and Max have been complaining that every band and DJ they’ve checked out is too expensive.

  “Really?” Mom sounds suspicious.

  “Really! Herman and Rose offered to do the music as a wedding gift.”

  “Who are Herman and Rose?” Aunt Pam and I ask together.

  “A couple of my second cousins. I just love them. You will too.”

  “I get the Herman and Rose card!” I whisper to Aunt Pam.

  “They’re musicians,” Max says. “They perform at Renaissance fairs . . . . . you know, the ones with jousting and everything. They’re great!”

  “Justin and me jousting . . . he’ll love it,” I say.

  Aunt Pam scowls at me. “No jousting at the wedding!”

  Mom is looking a little skeptical. “You’re not telling me that you want our guests to come to the wedding in costume, are you?”

  “Of course not. Well, Herman and Rose will be in costume. I don’t think they own any normal clothes. But no one else has to dress that way.”

  “It’s not very traditional,” Mom says.

  “Are you kidding? The music is five hundred years old. It’s super-traditional! Besides, it will make our wedding unique . . . like us!”

  “I don’t know.” Mom hesitates.

  “At least meet them and hear their music. They invited us over tonight. They want to play for us.”

  “Wagons ho!” Aunt Pam sings out. “We’re off to see Rose and Herman!”

  “Field trip!” I shout.

  Mom sighs. She can tell when she’s beat.

  Chapter Nine

  As we get in the car, Aunt Pam sings, “She’s his Rose and Herman’s her man!”

  Max joins in.

  I don’t even know the song Aunt Pam is singing, but it has a pun in it, and that makes me happy. It’s giving me a good feeling about Herman and Rose. I just hope I’m right.

  As Max and Aunt Pam start a second verse, Mom leans back and moans, “What did I do to deserve this?”

  “You fell in love with this adorable man,” Aunt Pam says.

  I, Amber Brown, am feeling very good. Here I am in the car with three of the four people I love most, laughing and singing and making jokes, on our way to cross off one more item on Mom’s THINGS WE HAVE TO DO FOR THIS DARN WEDDING list.

  After about twenty minutes we come to a town with a sign that says

  GEORGE WASHINGTON HEADQUARTERED HERE

  Ten minutes later we come to the same sign.

  “Didn’t we see that sign two towns ago?” Aunt Pam asks.

  “George Washington headquartered all over New Jersey in 1776,” I tell her. “He was being chased by the British, but then he pulled off a brilliant sneak attack. Mrs. Holt taught us that.”

  I like knowing this. I am proud of my state. I think all kids should be proud of their state.

  “Here we are!” Max pulls into the driveway of a big, very old-fashioned house.

  “Is this what homes looked like in the Renaissance?” I ask.

  “No, Amber, this is a Victorian,” Mom explains. “They came later.”

  “I love these old Victorians,” Aunt Pam says. “We don’t have many in Southern California.”

  As we get out of the car, the front door of the house opens. Out step two very odd-looking people. Well, their clothes are kind of odd. The people just look extremely happy. They must be Herman and Rose.

  “Maxila!” Herman runs down the front steps and throws his arms around Max.

  Rose is right behind him. “And which of you lovely ladies is Sarah?”

  Aunt Pam points to Mom and moves a step back. She barely makes it before Rose sweeps Mom into a big hug.

  Rose is little and round. If you put her in a red suit, she would make a perfect Mrs. Santa.

  Herman couldn’t be Santa, though, because he is tall and skinny. He does have a beard, but it’s short and dark brown.

  Rose turns to me. “And you must be Amber . . . . . Amber Brown. Such a colorful name . . . . twice as many colors as mine! Max tells me you’re colorful enough to deserve it.”

  I like her already.

  We go inside. Musical instruments are hanging on every wall. They also cover one of the tables, the couch, and all of the chairs. I don’t even know the names of most of them.

  The one I do know is the harp. I
t’s standing in a corner all its own. It’s taller than I am, and just seeing it makes me wish I could play it.

  “Sit right down and I’ll bring you some hot chocolate,” says Rose. She looks around the room and sees that there is an instrument on every place that we could possibly sit. She snatches something that looks like a guitar from one of the chairs. Herman picks up two other instruments and moves them to the table.

  While they are doing this, I have time to look at them more carefully. Rose’s face is round and merry. She has a braid coiled at each side of her head. Her dress is dark green velvet and down to the floor. The sleeves have white lace from the elbows to the wrists.

  Herman is wearing a black velvet cap. He has soft leather boots that reach almost to his knees. His leather vest has silver buttons. Under it is a white shirt with puffy sleeves.

  “Before we play, let us get you that hot chocolate,” Rose says. She and Herman head for the kitchen.

  Aunt Pam is smiling. “They’re delightful!”

  “Do they dress like that all the time?” I whisper to Max.

  “I’ve never seen them in modern clothes. But this is dressier than usual. I think they did it for us, Sarah.” He takes Mom’s hand.

  She smiles but looks a little uncertain.

  “Here we go!” Rose sings. She is carrying a silver tray with six mugs of hot chocolate on it. Herman is right behind her with another tray. This one is filled with cookies. I am liking these two more and more.

  Herman looks at Mom. “I don’t know if you’ve heard any of our music, Sarah, so we thought we’d play you some of the songs we’ve done at other weddings.”

  Rose sits down at the harp. Herman picks up a flute and stands near her. They nod to each other and start to play. At first the music sounds odd to me, but after a few minutes it starts to feel almost magical, as if it’s casting a spell.

  I look at Mom. She has a soft smile on her face. I can tell the music is getting to her too.

  Rose stands up. “We thought that song would be right for the ceremony.”

  Mom nods. “It’s perfect.”