by Jenika Snow
And tonight I can’t help but feel they’re at the beginning of something great.
I listen to them playfully bicker back and forth and I can’t help but grin. I love watching them, but seeing them together also makes me think of what I want in my own life. A great friendship with the potential to become something more. I can’t help but think of Logan, of all the things I’ve missed with him, of all the things I want with him. I’m just about to get up and grab some plates for the pie I made when I hear three heavy raps at my front door. They’re so powerful that I actually jump in my chair.
I look between Rowan and Marie, but he’s already up and striding toward the door.
“Stay here,” he says to us. But I find myself getting up and following him, hearing Marie’s protest behind me.
I stand off to the side and watch as Rowan straightens in front of the door. He reaches out and opens it, but from my position I can’t see who’s on the other side.
I hear someone speaking, but it’s too low for me to make out what the other person is saying. But before I know it is happening, the front door is pushed open forcefully, and Logan is slamming into Rowan, taking them all the way back so he slams against the wall. I cry out and slap a hand over my mouth, feeling my eyes widen. Logan is much bigger than Rowan, and his body has him pressed to the wall, the anger and violence coming from Logan tangible.
“She’s not yours.” The words come from Logan like a knife to my body. My heart is thundering hard and fast, painfully. “You have no right to touch her.” I have no idea what is going on right now. It is like I am in some Twilight Zone episode, some alternate dimension.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Rowan sounds shocked, angry.
“She’s mine,” Logan says through gritted teeth.
I see the confusion on Rowan’s face. I don’t blame him. Mine probably matches his expression.
“What the fuck? Marie is the woman I want!” Rowan pushes Logan away and he moves backward. I know Logan allowed it.
Marie comes out then, her hand covering her mouth as well, the shock clear in the way she holds herself. She’s probably just as surprised about their behavior as what Rowan just said. I never knew they were anything more than friends, and apparently, neither did she. She looks between Logan and Rowan, and then has her wide-eyed stare trained on me. The room grows silent as everyone just stands there.
“Logan, what the hell is going on?” I finally say, my heart in my throat, my pulse racing. He looks at me, this tense expression on his face.
“I thought you were having dinner alone with him.” His voice is so rough, so deep. “And something in me snapped, Lila.” He runs a hand over his mouth.
I just shake my head, not sure what to think. “I don’t know what’s going on, Logan.” The room is tense, the air thick, almost suffocating.
“Maybe we should go,” Marie says to Rowan. “We should probably talk…about… things.”
“We will, but I’m not leaving your friend here with this asshole,” Rowan grits out, and Logan growls low, stepping closer to him. “I don’t know what the fuck has gotten into you, man, but this is insanity.”
It is, but right now that’s probably not the right thing Rowan should be saying.
“Rowan, it’s fine. Logan is calm now.” I stare at Logan. “Isn’t that right, Logan?” My voice is firmer. “There’s not going to be any trouble, is there?”
Logan shakes his head, his focus on me.
“I don’t think I should leave,” Rowan says again.
“Rowan, Logan has his shit together,” Marie says, but she sounds a bit unsure.
“I’m fine, seriously.” I exhale. “Logan, things are fine, right? This was just a misunderstanding.” The room is silent as everyone waits for someone else to speak.
Finally Rowan sighs and grabs Marie’s hand. He stares at Logan. “I don’t know what the fuck has gotten into you, but chill the fuck out.” He then walks past me but stops. “You need me, I’m waiting outside the door, okay?”
I smile. I should have known he wouldn’t go far. Rowan is a stand-up guy. I nod and thank him. I give Marie a hug, and they leave out the front door, shutting it softly behind them. For long seconds I just glare at Logan.
“What the fuck?” I don’t normally curse, but this night went from lovely to insanity. I don’t wait for him to answer. I just head into the kitchen and grab a beer out of the fridge. Once the cap is popped I down half of it, breathing out heavily once I’ve swallowed. I turn to see Logan standing in the doorway of the kitchen and hallway, watching me, looking a little guilty.
Good.
“Shit, I’m sorry about tonight.”
I finish the rest of my beer, watching him over the rim. I set the bottle down and wipe my mouth clean with the back of my hand. “You should be. What was that all about?” Truth is, my heart is thundering. Did he think Rowan was hitting on me? He said I was his, that he didn’t want Rowan touching me. All of those things were what I wanted to hear for years. And tonight they spilled forth like a volcano exploding.
“Talk to me. What the hell went on back there?”
He pushes away from the doorway and comes into the kitchen, pulling a chair out and sitting down. For long moments he doesn’t speak, and finally I move over to the other chair and sit down across from him. We stare at each other, this chemistry moving between us, but it’s thick, sucking the air from my lungs.
“I saw him through the window, watched as he touched you, and something in me snapped.” He’s staring right in my eyes, the intensity in his tangible.
“You said I was yours.” The words spill from me.
Nothing is said, and I swear the way he’s looking at me is like he’s reaching out and touching me.
“I did,” he says unapologetically. “And I meant it, Lila.” He leans forward. “I meant every fucking word.”
Chapter 6
Logan
My cock jerks at the way Lila blushes at me from across the table. It’s still showing signs that disprove my mistaken assumptions. Three place settings, not two. Three half-filled wine glasses, and three empty food plates with used forks, knives and cloth napkins around them.
I capture the hint of a shy smile playing across her face. It’s a shame I almost hurt her friend. It’s embarrassing to know I was such an ass, jumping to conclusions so fast without confirming the truth.
That man isn’t interested in Lila. He’s with her friend. I’m mad at myself for almost leaving because of my crazy jealousy, but thank fuck my possessiveness won out. Thank fuck I came back. Now I have no fucking regrets, especially about telling Lila and that guy that she’s mine. Those words were a long time coming, and it seems like she’s been waiting to hear them too.
“I have to admit,” she starts in a shaky whisper, “it’s not easy for what you said to sink in. I almost can’t believe what I heard.”
“It’s all true. I meant every word.”
“How long have you felt this way?”
“For a long time. Years.” I lean forward in the chair and stretch my arm across the table, facing my palm up. “I was a fool for waiting this long to tell you. I should’ve stepped up years ago, back when we were kids. And when you left town right after school ended… I swear to God, not telling you is my single biggest regret.”
“I…I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. I cared so much about you. About our friendship. And I wanted more. I just... I didn’t know if you felt the same way I did.”
Cared? Wanted? Did?
For a brief while, I start to consider the possibility that Lila’s feelings may have changed after all this time, but put that thought out of my mind the second she gives me her hand. I only have to hear her words, and see her, and feel her skin against mine to know there’s bone deep chemistry between us. Her voice wavered as she spoke, hesitant as though she was doing her best to keep from crying. I see the pulse point at her neck beating faster too, and her skin warms against my palm, as though her
body is responding to me without any intention on her part.
Soon, I find myself taking in all of her, feasting with my eyes on every feature, every curve, the slight show of cleavage at the upper seam of that cute sundress she has on, and every inch of her body silhouetted underneath.
“I can’t change the past, Lila,” I tell her, getting to my feet without releasing her hand. I move to her and cup her cheek. “But if you feel what I’m feeling, you know there’s nothing else in this world that I want. Just for you to be mine. I want you. Tonight and for as long as you’ll have me.”
Lila pushes her chair back, stands, and takes a step to me, her gaze full of promise.
“I…I never thought… If I can tell you… I don’t think I can really express how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that, Logan.”
“What happened back then, it’s all on me,” I say. “Let’s leave the past in the past where it belongs. We’re here now. That’s what matters.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and locks her wrists behind me. “I’ve cared about you for so long, but our friendship meant so much to me too. Finding the right way to tell you was so hard… I tried, I just—”
I cut her off with “I love you, Lila.”
She has said more than enough. I know what I need to know. This thing between us has been brewing since forever. It’s lust, passion, deep admiration, and love, all rolled into one. I want to fuck her as much as I need to take my time and worship her. To possess her as much as to hear her call out my name and tell me she’s mine.
The time for explanations and excuses is past. All that’s left is action. To show her with my hands, my mouth, my tongue, and other parts that have been aching to feel her and her alone.
Gliding my fingers down her neck, I lower my face to hers, loving how her body has already moved closer. When I cover her mouth with mine, time stops. Everything around us disappears. It’s just me and her. I immerse myself in the feel of her soft lips, the way her body molds to me, the heat of her lower belly grinding against my cock as though she’s been wishing for this moment as long as I have.
“Logan.”
She whispers my name against my lips with so much sweetness and need that I don’t stop my hands from roaming down her body. My rough fingers reach the hem of her sundress at the back of her legs, and I clutch the fabric inside my fist as I slide it higher, higher, higher. With my hands at her ass, I open my palms and grip her exposed flesh below the line of her panties, picking her up at the same time.
My cock continues to harden, pushing at my zipper, begging to be released, desperate to find its way home inside of Lila. When I feel her long, shapely legs wrap around my hips, with just my work pants and her lacy panties between us, it takes all of me not to rip every piece of clothing off of her body.
As my hands spread her ass cheeks and my cock grinds against her mound, I lower her onto the kitchen table, not caring about the dishes, cutlery, wine glasses and place settings I shove to the side to make room for what we’re about to do.
She runs hot, satin-soft hands down the length of my spine and back up into my hair. I graze my lips on her neck, inhaling the floral scent of her perfume mixed in with her intoxicating feminine scent. I trail past her collarbone to the pale, inviting skin at her cleavage. I peel back her sundress covering one breast and take the lace cup of her bra with it. My mouth touches her nipple lightly and Lila moans out my name as her fingertips rub my scalp in response, gripping a handful of hair.
That sound.
That sweet sound of her voice, her moan, my name filling the air.
We’re way past the point of no return. Nothing and no one can stop us now, and whatever self-control I might’ve had is long gone.
“Yes, Lila,” I growl at the sensitive flesh of her tight, pink nipple, then tilt my head up and meet her gaze. “Say my name. Tell me everything you need. Tell me how much you want this. How much you want me.”
“Yes. I do. I want you, Logan. I want this…so much.”
I find the hem of her panties at her hips and grip it tightly. With just one sharp tug, the force rips through the lace. My need flies up a few notches when the scrap of lace is freed from her body and bunched up in the palm of my hand. The thought that there’s nothing but my clothes between us causes my firm, aching cock to throb its demands at that heated spot between her thighs.
There’s the tiniest notion at the corner of my brain telling me I should find a condom. Protection. Somewhere. Anywhere. I didn’t plan for this to happen tonight. If I thought we’d be here right now, about to fulfil years and years of untapped desire, I would’ve brought some along. Hell, I would’ve stopped at the flower shop in town too, and bought her those white magnolias she always loved. To make the moment special. To give her something memorable to cherish. And protection would’ve been good too.
“Logan,” she hums as I start to form the words to ask if she’s got a stash of condoms in the house, but the way she calls me this time is different.
“Yes?” I answer more soberly.
“I need to… I have to tell you… There’s something you should know,” she says in the softest whisper. She rests both her hands on the top of my shoulder and meets my gaze. Those big blue eyes are filled with so much emotion, so much longing. And something else. I’ve seen that look before. There’s something she wants to tell me, but it’s clear she’s having the hardest time as she tries to let the words escape her thoughts.
“Go ahead. You can say anything,” I remind her, preparing myself for the heaviest of confessions. “There’s nothing you can tell me now that’ll change how I feel about you. About us. Just say it. I promise it won’t—”
“You’re going to be my first,” she blurts out.
Whoa.
Well, hell.
Lila’s a virgin.
I wasn’t expecting that, but fuck, her news is like music to my ears. I’m no monk, but I haven’t been with a woman in years. Running the ranch and taking care of my parents’ affairs when they passed devoured all my time. The women I came across over the years haven’t appealed to me enough to redirect my focus. Maybe deep down, I’ve held out some hope for Lila to come back into my life.
And she did.
All her news does is confirm my deepest instinct.
Lila was always meant to be mine.
Chapter 7
Lila
I feel my heart in my throat, pounding, a heavy beat that reminds me that this is really happening. I lift my hands and grip his biceps, his flesh warm, thick from working out in the fields day in and day out. Before I left, Logan always looked out for me, always took care of me. We were the best of friends, but I wanted us to be much more.
He’d wanted more too.
“What we have is the realest fucking thing in this world, Lila.”
I lift my hand and cup his cheek, the scruff under my palm surprisingly soft. I rise up on my toes and press my mouth to his, the kiss soft, sweet almost. He has his hands curled around my body. He opens his mouth and slips his tongue inside, fucking me like I want him to do between my legs. For long minutes we kiss, our breathing fast and hard, identical. When he pulls away I’m gasping for air.
I am done waiting, done trying to pretend I can live without Logan in my life, in the way we were always supposed to be. I should have never run. I’m here now, and that’s what matters, I tell myself.
“Take me, Logan. Be with me. Make me yours,” I whisper. I feel him playing with the hair by my ear, and chills race up my spine. This moment I’ve dreamed about for so long, fantasized about until it consumed me.
He looks into my eyes and I see the love he has for me reflected back. “For me, it’ll only ever be you, Lila. It’s only ever been you for me.”
Every part of me is on fire. I’m wet, so soaked between my thighs I know he’ll slide into me effortlessly. I’m nervous, know there will be pain, but with that discomfort will be pleasure because I’ll finally be with the man I love.
He moves impossibly closer, my legs spread to accommodate him, his erection thick, like a steel pipe pressing to my most sensitive, intimate part. This sound of need leaves me, guttural, raw.
Before I know what is happening, Logan is gently pushing me back so I’m lying flat on the table, a few pieces of cutlery falling to the floor with a clatter. I don’t care about anything else but being with Logan. I’m panting as I watch him lower himself between my legs, his face so close to my pussy I can’t breathe. My chest is rising and falling, my stomach hollowing as I breathe, watching him down the length of my body, knowing he’s about to kiss me there.
He looks up at me, his gaze heavy lidded, his warm breath moving along my exposed folds. I can’t think, can’t even breathe right now. His hands are on my inner thighs, his fingers digging into my skin. I hope there are bruises there, painting my flesh so it shows his ownership of me.
“I have to taste you, have to know your flavor, memorize it, Lila.”
I lick my lips, knowing I won’t be able to actually say the words. Instead I nod, my hands wrapped tightly around the tablecloth beneath me, the fabric my lifeline right now.
“Ask me to lick you, to taste you, sweetheart.”
I’m so dizzy that if I weren’t already lying down I might have passed out. My mouth is so dry it’s like I’ve been chugging sand.
“Go on, Lila, baby. Tell me what you want and it’s yours.”
I tighten my hold on the linen beneath me, knowing I want a hell of a lot from Logan, more than maybe I deserve after running off. “I want you to touch me … down there.” This is all new to me. Aside from some making out and heavy petting during my college years, I don’t know anything about being sexual. I always wanted to save myself for Logan, and I have, but now I feel so inexperienced I’m embarrassed.
He groans and before I can think, or try and say anything else, he’s licking at my pussy. I let my head fall back on the table, crying out as pleasure assaults me. He licks up my center, as if I’m an ice cream cone melting in the hot summer sun. My mouth opens on its own, my body going rigid as exquisite pleasure slams into me, taking me away, sweeping me under.