Five Star Desire

by Jacquelin Thomas

  Addison picked up the phone and punched in Kellen’s number.

  “I’m just calling to check on you,” she told him when he answered his phone.

  “I’m still numb.”

  “You will probably feel this way for a while,” she stated. “When I first realized my mother was terminally ill and her death was imminent, I didn’t want to believe it. Soon after, I just didn’t feel anything anymore. When she died, I was numb for a few months. After that there were days when I wasn’t sure that I would make it through to the next one.”

  “How did you get through it?”

  “My father and my brother were very supportive. My best friend, Tia, was great. After my mother died, I didn’t even want to get out of bed, but she would come over, throw open the blinds to let sunlight inside... I would get so angry with her, but she refused to let me just check out on life. I still miss her like crazy, but Kellen, I can tell you that what you’re feeling is normal. It will take time, but the pain you’re feeling right now will lessen eventually.”

  “I don’t know about that,” he responded. “I don’t think I’ll ever feel normal again.”

  “You will,” Addison assured him. “In time.”

  “I picked up the phone a few minutes ago to call Dreyden. Then I remembered that he’s gone and won’t be coming back.”

  * * *

  A shrill scream pulled Kellen from his bed the next morning. He banged on the alarm clock, trying to shut it off.

  He made his way downstairs and out to the patio. It seemed he was the only one awake at the moment. He sat listening to the ocean, while trying to drown out the silence.

  Barbara joined him a few minutes later.

  “I miss Dreyden,” Kellen uttered, breaking the silence. “I can’t bear the idea of him lying in that cold grave. He should be alive and well.”

  His mother reached over and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I know, baby. This is one of the worst things I’ve ever had to face...losing a child. It’s hard, but we will get through this.”

  “It’s just not fair,” he argued. “Dreyden had so much to live for—he deserved to live, get married and have a family. He deserved to grow old.”

  “God obviously had another plan for him,” Malcolm interjected. “Although I don’t understand why He allowed death to take my son, I am grateful that Dreyden did not suffer too long.”

  “I’m angry.”

  “Honey, your brother is in a better place.”

  “That’s what people say to try and make you feel better. But it’s not working for me.”

  * * *

  “How was the funeral?” Tia asked. “It looked like there were hundreds of people in attendance.”

  “There were,” Addison confirmed as she picked up her menu. “It was a beautiful service. I just felt so bad for Malcolm Alexander and his family. Kellen was heartbroken. He could hardly talk without crying.”

  “The family seems really close.”

  “They are very close and this has been hard on all of them.” Addison took a sip of her iced tea. “It brought back a lot of the emotions I felt when my mom died.”

  “I figured it might.”

  “I miss her so much but the pain has lessened over the years. This is still so new for Kellen and his family. It’s so hard on them. I wish there was something I could do.”

  “Have you talked to Kellen since the funeral?”

  “I check on him every day. He’s grieving and he’s angry.”

  “Just continue to be there for him.”

  “He told me that he’s going to pack up Dreyden’s condo this weekend. His brothers wanted to help, but he refused them—he wants to do it himself. Ari and Blaze are going to have it cleaned and painted so they can sell it.”

  “Maybe you should go over there and help him,” Tia suggested.

  “I was actually thinking about that,” Addison confessed. “I feel like it’s a bad idea for him to try and do this alone.”

  “I agree.”

  She nodded. “I’ve decided. I’m not going to let Kellen deal with this alone.”

  Chapter 14

  Kellen spent the morning clearing out Dreyden’s bedroom. He missed the sound of his brother’s voice, and his strength. Oh, what he wouldn’t give for that wisdom now, to sit here in this condo talking and working through it.

  A knock on the door cut into his thoughts.

  He walked in quick strides to answer it.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” Kellen asked in surprise. The last person he expected to see standing there was Addison.

  “I knew that you were planning to be here today, so I thought I’d come help you.” She broke into a smile. “That’s what friends do.”

  “Come on in.”

  She followed him to the bedroom. “I started in here. Dreyden wanted us to take all of his clothes to the center. I just finished packing up his shoes.”

  “I’ll start with his clothes,” Addison said as she grabbed an empty box.

  He watched her for a moment before returning to the task at hand.

  After packing away all of the clothes, Addison made her way to the linen closet.

  She packed the linens and towels while Kellen concentrated on the items in the dresser.

  They took a break shortly after 2:00 p.m.

  Kellen ordered a pizza.

  They sat down to eat after it arrived.

  “I’m close to all of my siblings, but Dreyden and I...we were friends.”

  Addison took a sip of her soda. “My family and I have never been that close, but I know how you feel. I would be devastated if I lost any of them.”

  “I’m so angry,” Kellen confessed.

  “Anger is a natural part of the grieving process. It’s okay,” she assured him.

  “When does the acceptance part come?” he asked.

  “It varies person to person.”

  When they finished eating, Kellen assessed and photographed each piece of furniture in the house for potential listing on eBay or valuation by a dealer, while Addison was assigned the task of cataloging the items.

  “You didn’t want to keep anything for yourself?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “I have his watch collection. We all decided that it was best to sell the condo and furnishings. The proceeds are going to Dreyden’s favorite charity.”

  “That’s very sweet,” she murmured.

  “It’s what he would’ve wanted. He left this place to me, but I could never live here,” Kellen stated. “Just too many memories.”

  Addison nodded in understanding. “It’s the very reason I sold my mother’s house.”

  She remembered all too well, those early days afterward. It was very painful to be around a place that evoked endless memories of her mother. Addison’s heart ached for Kellen. Dreyden wasn’t just his brother but his best friend, as well.

  * * *

  He sat on the rug opposite her, his back against a wingback armchair, his legs stretched out in front of him. His legs looked so long and strong, the muscles of his thighs discernible beneath the soft denim of his jeans. At some point he’d taken his shoes off and his socked feet were crossed at the ankles.

  Addison cleared her throat, even though she had no idea what she was about to say. Before she could speak up, his phone rang.

  “Sorry. It’s probably one of my brothers. They have been calling all day to check on me.” He reached out to grab the handset from the end table. “Hello.”

  The coldness in his voice, the abrupt change in his demeanor—Addison knew the call was regarding Dreyden.

  “I’m sorry to have to tell you this way, but Dreyden passed away recently.” His gaze traveled to where she sat.

  She gave him
a reassuring smile.

  Something flickered across Kellen’s face.

  “Sorry about that,” he said, hanging up the phone. “It was a friend of Dreyden’s. She has been in Hong Kong for the past year. She didn’t know that he’d passed away. She didn’t take it very well.”

  “Sounds like she really cared for your brother.”

  “I think she did.”

  She eased down to the floor beside him. “I wish I could make your pain go away.”

  “I would give anything to have my brother back with me.”

  Addison embraced him.

  Kellen held on to her as if holding on for dear life.

  A delicious shudder heated her body at his touch. She closed her eyes and concentrated on keeping her breathing even. The warmth of his body captivated her. Addison felt the heat of desire wash over her like waves.

  He smelled good, like warm skin and amber and spices, and his shoulder felt very solid beneath her hand. She let her hand drop to her side.

  Kellen’s hand reached out to catch it before she could withdraw.

  Her eyes traveled to his lips. She wanted so much to feel the touch of his mouth against hers.

  Where had that thought come from?

  She knew the answer to the question, although she wasn’t ready to acknowledge it.

  * * *

  Surprisingly, Kellen wasn’t really thinking of her skin in a sexual sense, but more of the gentle give-and-take of shared heat. It was refreshingly simple and nice. Like a handful of summer sun on a dark winter’s day.

  However, the warmth building in the pit of his stomach coupled with the way she felt in his arms ignited something more.

  Their gazes locked as his fingers wove with hers. For a long beat they simply stared at each other.

  “Addison Evans,” he said, so softly it was barely more than a whisper.

  Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers.

  The world stood still.

  His heart stuttered in his chest.

  He forgot to breathe.

  Then his mouth moved against hers once more and heat exploded in his belly. In that fraction of a second Kellen knew how it would be between them—passionate.

  Addison jerked backward.

  “Are you okay?” Kellen asked, reaching out to her.

  She couldn’t seem to look him in the eye, could barely force herself to lift her gaze to the middle of his chest. “Yes. Fine, thanks. All good.”

  He eyed her intently. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  Kellen was drawn to her, in every possible way, and he knew, in his gut, that he was in no fit state to handle the intensity of his own feelings. They were too overwhelming, too confronting, when he was grieving the loss of his brother.

  Yet his hunger for her would not be denied.

  * * *

  Kellen was a wonderful lover, powerful and intuitive and generous. He made her feel beautiful and sexy and happy and wild, but the reality was that she shouldn’t have slept with him. She never should have let things progress to that point.

  Don’t. Don’t do this to yourself.

  Addison tried to reason that it was just sex. That it didn’t matter.

  Except that it did.

  Something had happened when they were skin to skin.

  Something intense.

  At least, it had been intense for her. Intense and tender and mind-blowing—all at once. Not what she’d expected, by a long shot. Not what she’d been looking for, either, but it had happened.

  For her, anyway.

  It had been a night for revelations, apparently.

  But today was a different day. What took place between her and Kellen was now in the past, and she was determined to let it stay there.

  She pulled into her parking space and turned off her car. Addison glanced around, looking to see if Kellen had already arrived.

  Addison let out a sigh when she spotted his vehicle.

  Inside the building, the elevator doors were beginning to shut, but she picked up her pace and slid inside just before they closed.

  “Good morning,” Kellen greeted.

  “Good morning,” she said in response. The last place she wanted to be was in such a small space with him.

  Tension bounced off the walls, making the space feel especially tiny.

  “I had a great time last night,” Kellen began.

  She interrupted him by saying, “What happened last night...it was a huge mistake.”

  “What do you mean it was a mistake?” he asked, confusion written all over his face. “It was something we both wanted.”

  “I’m a big girl with better sense than this. I should have stopped myself. Obviously.” Addison drew a slow breath and pressed the heels of her hands against the dull throb at her temples. “Kellen, it never should have happened. I allowed my emotions to cloud my judgment.”

  He straightened up and stared at her. “I don’t share your feelings, Addison. I don’t regret what happened between us.”

  Addison met his gaze. “I didn’t say I regretted what happened. I’m just saying that it was wrong.”

  “I still don’t agree,” Kellen uttered. “Everything about making love to you is right. You just don’t want to admit it.” He stared at her for a long beat, a muscle in his jaw flickering as though he was working to contain strong emotion. “Last night meant something to me, Addison. I want you to know that.” His voice was all gravel and bass.

  He reached for her but Addison retreated out of his grasp. “No, it can’t happen again.”

  “Addison...”

  She shook her head. “I’ve worked too hard for everything I have and I won’t let a workplace romance destroy my efforts. Kellen, I’m sorry.”

  “Your career won’t keep you warm on cold nights.”

  Addison didn’t respond.

  When the elevator doors opened, she rushed out, walking briskly to her office.

  Chapter 15

  Kellen couldn’t believe that he had completely misread Addison. After the way they had made love, he assumed that they were building something together, but obviously he’d been wrong. He was preciously close to being completely in love with her, but it was obvious she didn’t feel the same way.

  When her gaze finally met his, he saw a distance in her eyes that broke his heart, a distance that made him feel like something had finished before it had ever really had a chance to begin.

  He walked toward the elevator and pressed the button. Kellen was in need of some fresh air.

  When he returned, he found Addison waiting on him in his office.

  “What can I help you with?” Kellen asked.

  “I wanted to make sure that I didn’t sound harsh when we talked earlier.”

  He shook his head. “You didn’t. We’re fine.”

  “I know that you’re grieving—”

  “Addison, I heard you loud and clear,” he said, interrupting her. “We’re friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be. I understand completely, and I’m okay with it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do.”

  Kellen walked past her and around his desk. He sat down and turned on his monitor.

  When he finally looked up, Addison was gone.

  * * *

  Addison stayed in the safety of her office. She wasn’t ready for another face-to-face with Kellen. She was furious with herself for letting herself get so carried away with him. She knew better, even if Kellen did not consider it an issue.

  Despite her resolve to keep her distance from him, Addison’s body still craved his touch. She was relieved that Kellen hadn’t tried to approach her. The only subjects she wanted to discuss with him were all work-related topics.

 
She had run into him a couple of times earlier. Once on the elevator and then when Addison was leaving for lunch. He barely spoke to her, which bothered her some, but it was for the best. There was no point in her getting upset when it was she who had set the terms.

  Kellen was still grieving, too. He was still trying to make sense of his brother’s death. Deep down, Addison wanted to be there for him but thought it best to stay out of his life. Her feelings for him were much too intense.

  She pushed away from her desk and rose to her feet.

  Addison walked over to the leather couch in her office and sat down. She thumbed through a stack of renderings, forcing her mind back on work.

  It wasn’t working, however.

  Kellen weighed heavy in her thoughts.

  A couple of hours later, Addison decided to leave for the day. She figured she could get more work done from home.

  Addison left quickly, hoping to leave the building without running into Kellen. She didn’t want him to know how strong of a hold he had on her.

  She was not so lucky.

  Kellen was waiting on the elevator when she turned the corner.

  “Going home?” he asked.

  Addison nodded. “I decided to work remotely for the rest of the day.”

  “I’ll be here late tonight,” Kellen stated. “Charles called a team meeting this afternoon.”

  “Do you need more time on the Haynes project?”

  He shook his head. “I’m fine. I’ll have it completed on time.”

  She missed their banter and easy conversations. Kellen was all business whenever he talked to her. They didn’t even discuss football anymore. Addison told herself that she shouldn’t expect anything different from him. He wanted more than she was willing to give him.

  He no longer wanted anything to do with her. She couldn’t deny that it hurt deeply, but she could not have it both ways.

  * * *

  Six weeks later, Addison sat inside the examination room, her arms folded across her chest. She had put off this appointment for as long as she could since missing her period. The past couple of weeks of nausea, exhaustion and hormones gone wild, prompted a call to the doctor’s office. Her menstrual cycle was late and Addison needed confirmation of her suspicions.