by A. m Madden
I recognized the handsome sportscaster named Quint Lawson from all the times Ryder had watched his nationally televised show. He shook his head condescendingly while a man rambled over the phone about how despicable it was for ruthless agents to “get away with murder” for a big fat contract.
“My nephew said this Carter person paid hundreds of thousands to ensure his players passed their courses. All those agents care about is the money. No integrity anymore. It’s disgusting…”
“Sir,” Quint said, interrupting his tirade. “Ryder Carter is a very reputable figure in this business. Let’s not jump to conclusions without proof.”
“If it walks like a duck,” the man went on.
“Thanks for the call,” Quint said with an aggravated huff and disconnected the irate caller. “Well, America, my time is up. As always, we will keep you up to date with any breaking news regarding this outrageous claim. Personally, I don’t buy it… but we shall see. This is Quint Lawson. Until next time, I wish you all good night.”
“I haven’t seen it anywhere else yet,” Wes said, still on the line. “I think that old fucker outed you.”
“I need to call Joseph. I’ll call you right back.”
I watched numb from shock as he jammed a finger on the screen until his lawyer’s name appeared. “Ryder… I saw it,” he said without delay.
“What are we going to do?”
“You’ll do nothing. I’ve been building a case, and I’ll handle it. That’s why you hired me.”
“So I’m supposed to sit here and watch it all?”
“You should call your clients and assure them you are innocent and have sought counsel for this slanderous attack. More than that, you cannot divulge under advice from your lawyer. I’ll send you a prepared statement in case anyone from the press calls. Otherwise, you do nothing.”
“Fine.” Ryder mumbled something else I didn’t catch and hung up. It broke my heart to see the panic on his face. When he shoved his fingers in his hair, hanging his head in defeat, a burst of fury instantly took hold. I pulled a hand away and tugged until he met my gaze.
“Listen to me, Ryder. We’ll fight that bastard with everything we have. He is not going to get away with this, I promise you.”
As my chest heaved with each word I spoke, he palmed my face with his other hand. “Riana, you need to calm down. Please. I can’t worry about you on top of everything else.”
He was right. Especially as I felt my heart beating out of my chest. But this was war, and I wouldn’t allow a narcissistic prick to destroy everything Ryder had worked toward.
“Promise me, Riana,” he pushed.
“Okay… I promise.”
“I need to call Wes back. Go take a bath, do your calming exercises. I’m going to take Kayla for a walk…” Her head bounced up at the mere mention. He leaned closer to kiss me before saying, “Come on, girl.” She jolted upright and trotted to the door in wait.
Watching him walk out had me feeling completely helpless. I had no idea how to help him and had to trust that Joseph was handling it.
Chapter Thirty
Ryder
November
There was my fucking face again. At the airport I stared at the large screen hanging above the bar near my gate before lowering my head. While safe behind my sunglasses, I ignored the closed-captioned text scrolling beneath my photo and instead buried my face in my phone.
My life had been hell for weeks. The night after the news broke of the lie Doug peddled, the entire sports world began buzzing with speculation. Was it true? Was it not? Athletes, agents, and sportscasters debated both sides like they would analyze a championship game.
Meanwhile, my phone rang off the hook. Reporters looking for a story. Athletes needing to know if there was any truth to the claims. Colleagues prodding for information. It was never ending.
An announcement with boarding instructions blared over the speaker right above my head. Thanksgiving being days away made the plane jammed. Crying children and eager parents surrounded me, and I tried to focus on getting home to the one thing I was thankful for.
My life with Riana.
If it weren’t for her, a bar brawl followed by prison time would’ve been a real possibility for me. I just wanted to hit someone, specifically Doug. So instead I threw myself into my job, traveling to see my clients in person in damage-control mode, while ignoring anything I read or heard that questioned my morals. And when I shut down for the day, for the week, I got lost in her in any way I could.
“We are now inviting rows ten through twenty to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass ready.”
With a heavy sigh, I grabbed the handle of my carry-on, wishing I could close my eyes and be back in Riana’s arms. As I shuffled my way toward the flight attendant scanning boarding passes, my cell buzzed in my pocket.
“Hey, baby. I’m just boarding.” I was met with silence and breathing. “Ree?”
“Okay,” she said, her voice strained before she sucked in a breath.
“What’s wrong?” The man behind me tapped my shoulder. “Go around me.”
“Ryder, I don’t want you to panic. I’m having contractions. They’re probably Braxton Hicks. The guys are taking me to the hospital just in case.”
“You’re not due for a month!” My outburst caused a few to turn and stare.
“I know. That’s why it’s most likely false labor. It happens. I just wanted you to know in case I’m not home…” Another hiss of air filtered over the call. “When you get here,” she finished. “You know hospitals and how long it takes them to get you in and out.”
Her words weren’t helping. “Riana… this can’t be happening right now.” As if she had a choice.
“We are now inviting rows twenty-one through thirty to begin boarding at this time.”
“Go, honey. I’m fine. Have a safe flight. I love you.” The line went dead, and I had no choice but to hang up the phone, get on that goddamn plane, and hope I could keep from losing my shit before we landed in two hours.
That was easier said than fucking done.
The flight was torture—the longest, most irritating, most fearful two hours of my entire life. Smooshed in coach, dealing with the most annoying group of humans I’d ever encountered, and counting the minutes.
Ignoring protocol, I was that guy who grabbed his overnight bag the moment the plane stopped at the gate. I pushed my way over and around other passengers, earning more curses and dirty looks than I could count. Halfway through first class, a flight attendant tried to stop me, until I barked, “My wife is in labor.” Thank Christ, she used my half truth to help me get off the goddamn plane.
I shamelessly used the same excuse at the taxi stand, and again when the driver believed it was a great day for a leisurely drive through southern Florida.
After at least a dozen apologies for knocking into people from curb to front door, I finally sprinted across the main lobby of the hospital with that damn suitcase in hand. If it didn’t hold my laptop and files, I would’ve left it at the airport.
Slamming into the reception desk at full speed, I barked, “Maternity?”
The older woman’s annoyed expression morphed into a grin. “Calm down, son. You’re here now and will see your baby coming,” she said, assuming she knew the reason for my panic. “Sixth floor.”
“Thank you!”
The small mob of people standing at the elevator bank was what forced my decision to take the stairs. By the time I barreled toward the nurse’s desk on the sixth floor, the sweat that coated my back had little to do with the physical exertion.
“Riana Carter.”
The woman looked at her screen. “Your relation?”
“Fiancé.”
“Someone will be out to speak to you shortly.”
“Why?” I asked, in a voice that sounded nothing like my own. The two seconds it took for her to respond were two seconds too long. “Sir, you can have a seat in the waiting room around th
e corner.”
I sprinted as if my ass was on fire and ran right into Ricky. “What the hell is happening?”
“She went into labor, and one of the babies’ heart rates fell. They’re performing an emergency C-section.” Rebecca and Marco stood from where they sat to join us at the door. “That’s all we know.”
“I need to be with her…” It didn’t take a genius to interpret his pause.
“You can’t, Ryder. They already started. Cooper is in with her. They’ll come find us once the babies have been delivered and Riana is stable.” At my silence, he squeezed my shoulder before adding, “She’ll be fine.”
“She’s been so stressed lately.” Desperation was to blame for the way I grabbed my neck in a crushing hold. “Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if…”
“This isn’t anyone’s fault, Ryder.” I wanted to scream it was but bit back my ire. I also wanted to kick and scream like a child throwing a tantrum.
No longer able to stop the despair that flooded through me, I left my bag at the door and dropped into a nearby chair. None of this was supposed to fucking happen.
“Do you want coffee?” Rebecca asked. “Something cold?” Without looking up, I twisted my head side to side. When sitting became painful, I paced the halls and begged to a higher power to help her.
My entire life lay behind those doors in the hands of people I didn’t know. People I had to trust. I’d never felt as alone in the world as I had at that moment.
The clock on the wall said it was about three hours since my world had been shaken to the core… it felt like a year.
By the time Dr. White appeared, wearing ugly green scrubs, I was back in my chair, gripping my head in frustration. Her face was unreadable, her eyes lacking the liveliness they usually held. Panic clawed its way from my heart to my throat. The taste of bile made me fear a bout of vomiting right then and there.
“The babies are fine and being cared for in the nursery,” she directed toward Ricky.
“And Riana?” I barked.
“She’s in good hands. This hospital is one of the best for critical and perinatal obstetrics care.” Her fucking admission meant nothing. The woman I loved was beyond my reach and shouldn’t be in the position to need the best care.
“Why does she need critical care?”
“She suffered from placenta accreta, which means it attached itself to the uterine wall. The stress of her contractions led to it detaching and causing a tear.” I heard a strangled mewl echo through the room, and when Ricky clamped a hand on my shoulder, I realized it was mine.
“Could this have been detected on her last sonogram?” Ricky asked what I’d been thinking. How did no one find this?
“No, probably not.” Dr. White met my confused gaze. “Most of the time the baby is obstructing the view of the placenta, in this case both babies. Unless there are symptoms, there would be no need to perform any invasive tests. These things happen, and the good news is we were able to deliver the babies quickly and therefore tend to Riana sooner than later.”
“Where is she now?” I asked, desperately needing to see her.
“She’s in recovery,” Dr. White responded with a sad smile. “Once she’s transferred to the maternity critical care unit, you could see her.”
Dr. White gave us a few minutes to digest what she’d said, or to ask any other questions.
I had a ton.
Why Ree? Why us?
Why couldn’t we have the same results that hundreds of thousands of other people experienced every fucking day without heartbreak?
But I couldn’t get any of those words out of my mouth. Deep down, I felt voicing those questions out loud would tempt fate. I had to believe she would be just fine.
“How long will she be in critical care?” Ricky asked.
“If all goes well, she’ll be moved once she’s stable.”
“If?” was his follow-up question.
“During surgery, Riana continued to lose a tremendous amount of blood. A transfusion was needed, and we then administered the drug Epinephrine to increase heart rate and help pump the new blood faster.”
“But you were able to stop the bleeding?” I blurted out, losing my patience. It felt like all the unknowns had begun crawling over my skin like insects. “She should be fine now after the transfusion and Epinephrine, right?”
“Yes, we were able to stop the hemorrhage and repair the tear… but she lost a lot of blood.” A visual of Riana, pale and lifeless, fighting for her life, slammed into my mind. Traumatized by it, I jumped when a hand rubbed my back in a show of support, and only then realized Rebecca was standing beside me.
I wasn’t sure if it was the look on my face that prompted Dr. White to add, “She’s been through a lot, and we’re taking good care of her.” I clung to that faith like a life preserver.
“Will she be able to have more children?” Rebecca innocently asked, and bile rose again to the back of my throat. All I cared about was her pulling through.
“We don’t know the damage to her uterus yet. But her ovaries are fine, she’s young, and we should be able to extract viable eggs if Riana would choose to have more children. There are many options for her to consider down the road.”
Fuck… she didn’t deserve this, any of it.
“I know it’s difficult, but have a seat. A nurse will be in once you can see them.”
Ignoring her directive, I resumed pacing back and forth when Cooper stepped into the room. His eyes went right to Ricky’s before landing on mine.
“Where is she?” I snapped, as though this was all his fault. Fuck that… it was all his fault.
“Recovery.” He returned his focus to Ricky, and I could tell he was trying to keep his euphoria in check for my sake. “They’re beautiful,” he whispered. “Perfect and beautiful.”
The two men engaged in a somewhat somber hug. I watched detached as Rebecca and Marco followed suit, quietly embracing them in a low-key way. Once they all pulled apart, Cooper dug into his pocket and lifted his palm toward me, with Riana’s engagement ring in the center of it.
When I snatched it angrily, he placed a hand on my shoulder. “She’ll be fine, Ryder.”
Shoving his arm away forcibly, I stepped closer until we were chest to chest. “Do not tell me she’ll be fine.” I got right into his face, holding his gaze before seething out, “You have no guarantee! She gave you your babies and now is fighting for her own life because of it!”
“Ryder,” Marco said, trying to calm me down with a firm hold on my shoulder.
Cooper looked at his brother-in-law and dipped his head in a “I got this” nod.
“Riana is a strong woman, Ryder. This was her decision. We didn’t force her into it.”
“No… you didn’t stop her either. I love that woman—”
“We love her just as much as you do,” he said, cutting me off. “In fact, I’ve loved her as she mended a broken heart because of you—”
Something in me snapped, and in slow motion I watched my hand draw back, ready to connect with his jaw… until Marco’s firm hand stopped the progression.
“What? You’re going to hit me, Ryder? Will that make you feel better?”
“Yes,” I admitted before pushing him with all my might.
“Stop it!” Rebecca cried out as Marco pulled me back, and Ricky did the same with Cooper. The move had me regretting not punching him in the face when I had the chance. “Are you freakin’ kidding me?” she went on with no patience. “You’re fighting over who loves her more?” Her livid blue eyes bounced between her brother and me. “This is not helping anyone.” She pointed a finger to opposite sides of the room. “Go sit down… and grow up. Both of you.”
Cooper followed her direction, avoiding me. Ricky looked as though he felt sorry for me. Marco kept a watchful eye on me. It was all too much, and I stormed out of the room, needing air. No one followed, giving me the time that I needed to calm down, pace, and pray.
A few minutes later, Rick
y turned the corner and found me. “You okay?”
“No.” My response was immediate. “I can’t lose her, Ricky. I just can’t.”
Sympathy softened his frown. “You aren’t going to lose her.”
“Really? You can guarantee me that? Did my brother have the same guarantee when his wife died in her last trimester and he lost his daughter a day later?” Predictably, Ricky’s mouth hung open in shock. “Yeah. It ruined his life. So please don’t promise something you have no way of guaranteeing.”
A nurse appeared a few feet away, interrupting our conversation. It didn’t matter. I was done, saying all I had to. “Mr. Carter, I can take you to see your fiancée.”
Wordlessly, I followed her toward the maternity critical care unit, still palming her ring. The walk seemed to stretch for miles, when in fact it was just across the hall. There were only two rooms, with a nurses’ desk between them. The one to the right was empty, and the left housed Riana.
My breath caught at how defenseless she seemed under those harsh fluorescent lights. A few wires and tubes tethered her to machinery, and I tried to ignore it all by rationalizing that she was just sleeping peacefully. Robotically, I approached her bed and sat on the edge of it.
“Hey, baby.” Taking her chilled hand in mine, the first thing I did was slide the ring back on her finger before bringing it to my forehead. “Listen to me. I’ll be right here when you wake up. Do you hear me?”
The only sound came from the equipment surrounding her… and my pounding heart. Beeps and buzzing noises sliced through the silence while I battled with my own thoughts. There was nothing to do but think. She’d never know the true gamut of emotions. I’d keep all the crushing anxiety I was racked with to myself. I would keep my altercation with Cooper to myself to avoid making her feel guilty. I’d hide from her the state of constant terror that plagued me like a virus.
Even as nurses came and went, I hadn’t moved a muscle as I continued to hold her hand. Not until Dr. White walked in sometime later and headed straight for Riana’s bed did I lift my head.