The Doctor's Tale

by Claire Applewhite

  I held up a spent syringe. “What is this?”

  Freeman grinned. “You know damn well what it is. So it’s the maid’s day off. Why’d you have to rip my last clean shirt?”

  “I paged you. You didn’t answer.”

  He grinned like a barracuda. “Maybe I didn’t hear you.”

  “Yeah. Well, maybe that’s right. Maybe Mary’s daughter shouldn’t have needed a doctor tonight, huh? But she did, and you weren’t, shall we say, available.”

  “So what happened?”

  “I took care of it.”

  “Nice.”

  “You sack of shit. She almost died.” My mouth trembled for a moment. Fury and rage racked my body. “I know…I know, I am going to lose patients from time to time, but it’s not going to be because I didn’t try to save them. And, it’s not going to be because of you. You, and your arrogance and your ego.”

  “Yeah, I heard about the stellar job you did with Lori Raines. You’ve really got the nerve, you know that, Spezia? She up and f---ing escaped! Do you know where she is? Yeah, that’s what I thought. So, don’t come in here all high and mighty telling me what I already know about myself. Yeah, I like to zone out every now and then. I need to be able to stay up when I need to and sleep when it’s time to sleep. And I’ve found a way to do it. If you got a taste of my life, all I can say is, welcome to my private hell.”

  “You talking ‘bout hell, Dr. Freeman?” Mary stood in the doorway, her hands folded across her broad chest. Her eyes resembled black marbles. “Let me tell you a little bit about that. My daughter done lost her baby.”

  “Her baby? Did you say her baby?” Freeman said. “Didn’t she just have one?”

  Mary stared at him with the icy demeanor of an executioner. “I could kill you now and never look back.”

  “Mary, no…” I said.

  “But, no—I don’t think I will. Matter of fact, I think I’ll stick around and watch the people at the State Board yank your license, you junkie.”

  “I need a shot, Mary.” Freeman writhed as if he was in pain. “Don’t you have a heart anywhere in that body?”

  “Yeah. I got one.” She shrugged and glanced at Spezia. “Kinda broke about now, but it’s in there.”

  Freeman grinned. “Maybe you need a shot, too.”

  “What’s that about a shot, Dr. Freeman? Hmm?” A voice boomed from the hallway. Spezia recognized it all too well. He’d know Dr. Skelton’s voice anywhere—but, especially in here. Looking fresh and dapper in a crisp white coat, Dr. Skelton strolled into the room. “Perhaps I need to speak with the patient. Alone. Is that all right with you?”

  I almost laughed out loud. I felt delirious with victory. “It’s more than all right. “Come on, Mary,” I said. We’ll be in the ER.”

  Mary turned and winked at Freeman. “In case you need someone to tell you what to do. Hear?”

  “I need to see you in my office, Dr. Spezia,” Dr. Skelton said. “Tomorrow. Noon, hmm? I believe we have much to discuss.”

  NINETEEN

  Eddie noticed it for a couple of months, but he never told anyone. He figured, what would be the point? Just a little blood when he coughed, that’s all. Folks would just say, Eddie, why don’t you knock off the smoking? Fact was, he’d given up about all that a man could and stay alive. Maybe nobody else thought so; but, as far as he was concerned, it was the God’s truth. He stared at the droplets of blood on his rumpled handkerchief and tossed it into the trash with the eggshells and coffee grounds.

  “Eddie, when you going to stop hacking like that? Keeps me up when I’m tryin’ to sleep.” Starr’s raspy voice echoed from the back bedroom.

  Eddie heard the click of her lighter. Must be time to bless the first smoke of the day. “Keeps me up too, Starr,” he said. He strolled over to the wide window and gazed at nothing in particular. Suddenly, a cardinal flitted from the tree branch to the windowsill. It fluffed its scarlet feathers and stared at Eddie. “Lookee here, Starr. She’s looking at me. I bet she’s looking for Lori.”

  “Oh right. I feel certain, Eddie. You hear anything from the Princess of Pain?”

  Eddie stared into the distance. “Didn’t really expect to, darling. ‘Cause I know how she is when her mind’s made up. Woman’s like a mule in a harness that’s too tight. Makes a man hurry up and wait. That’s what a man’ll do.”

  “Wait for what?” Starr’s eyes narrowed with suspicion.

  Eddie jabbed his finger in front of her face. “You got no room to talk about Lori. Nope.”

  “Lori? What you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about your Dr. Freeman.”

  “What about him? He’s a good doctor.”

  Eddie glared at Starr. Before he could speak, a cough rattled in his throat like a pile of rusty cans blowing in the rain.

  Starr gasped at the droplets of blood that sprinkled the wall. “Eddie, is that…that blood?”

  When Eddie opened his mouth, a vicious cough racked his body. He heaved and heaved. Again, a spray of blood covered his handkerchief.

  “There you go again,” Starr said. “Seems like ever since Lori left, you been too sick to talk to me”

  “Have not. Just haven’t much felt like it, that’s all. You want to go for some pancakes or something?”

  Starr lit another cigarette and blew a puff into the air. “Sounds like the phone. Awful early for phone calls. You have an appointment somewhere darlin’?”

  “Nope.” Starr sure was in a funny mood this morning. Been that way a lot lately. Must be her hormones or something. Eddie hustled down the hall to the kitchen and lifted the receiver.

  “Yeah,” he said.

  “Edward Raines?”

  “Speaking.”

  “This is Sergeant Reggie Combs with the St. Louis Police Department. I have a police officer from Las Vegas on the line, Mr. Raines. He would like to speak with you regarding your wife.”

  Eddie coughed, and a spray of blood sprinkled his sleeve. He rummaged on the kitchen counter for a paper towel.

  “He wants to talk to me about Lori? Sure, put him on. I’m all ears.”

  “Here he is, Mr. Raines,” Sergeant Combs said. “Please accept our condolences.”

  “Your what?” Eddie said.

  “Hello, Mr. Rained? This here is Sergeant Roger Watts from Las Vegas. I represent the Las Vegas Police Department.”

  “Watts in Vegas? Is this a joke? This is a joke, right?”

  “This is no joke. Mr. Rained.”

  “It’s Raines.”

  “That’s what I said, sir. I need to speak with you about a serious matter. I hope that you will cooperate with us.”

  “I’m afraid you have the wrong number,” Eddie said. He turned to hang up the phone.

  “Wait just a cotton pickin’ minute, Mr. Rained. Don’t hang up. I’ve got some very important information for you.”

  Eddie felt confused. What in the—? “Sergeant Watts, is it? Look Sergeant, I don’t know anyone in Las Vegas, or anything about it, ‘cept it’s in Nevada.”

  “Eddie? Who is it, baby?” Starr’s voice echoed from the back bedroom.

  “Trying to find Lori, Starr. Don’t worry. The Las Vegas police are looking for her.”

  “Oh goodie,” Starr said. “That sure is a big load off of my mind, I have to say.”

  Eddie didn’t hear her. The only sound he could hear was the voice on the other end of the line.

  “Mr. Rained, we believe we have found your wife, Lori. The identification we found in her wallet listed you as an emergency contact.”

  “You found Lori? Oh, thank the Lord!” Eddie cupped the receiver with his hand. “Starr, the police found Lori! Hey, Starr!”

  “Mr. Rained,” Watts continued, “I’m sorry to have be the one to say this to you, friend, I truly am. We’re going to need you to identify the body.”

  Shaking chills rippled through Eddie’s body, just before the waves of sweat drenched his skin. The ponderous weight of the words crackled
in his bones.

  “The body? Whose body we talking ‘bout, Watts? Listen to me, you clown. If you done found Lori, then by God, put her on. I’ll come pick her up, wherever she is. Otherwise, you’d best be on your way.”

  “We can arrange this however you would like, Mr. Rained. The usual way is for the next of kin to make the final arrangements. As I said earlier, a card we found in her wallet listed you as the emergency contact. I believe this would qualify as an emergency, don’t you?”

  “Wait, just a minute…are you saying Lori died?”

  A long sigh breathed into the receiver. “Yes sir. That’s exactly what I’m saying. Like I said before, Mr. Rind, I am truly sorry. We estimate your wife died approximately 36 hours ago. I apologize for the delay, but it took us a little while to locate the next of kin. Your wife was out of state at the time of her death

  Eddie barely heard the remainder of the instructions. Something about bringing Lori back to Missouri and something about the cost. Sure, he said to Sergeant Watts, go ahead and send Lori’s body to the funeral home down the street. The Schreckengeist, he thought it was called. Some people thought the place was haunted, but in Eddie’s opinion, that was absolute, real time hogwash. But, he also thought that if anyone did see a ghost in a funeral home, well, that just made good sense to him. Like where else would they see one?

  What, Watts asked, about the cash in his wife’s purse? Nine hundred and something dollars? Eddie said he had no idea where his wife would have gotten that kind of money, but he guessed it would be enough to pay for some kind of burial—he would have to see about the life insurance he had left on Lori—he borrowed against it so much for the hospital bills. He couldn’t tell whether his hand or his voice trembled more. Somehow he wrote down a phone number, a name and an address. Then, he said goodbye to Sergeant Watts from Nevada, and wondered if God believed in second chances.

  Eddie didn’t know how long he stood there in the kitchen, there by the telephone, just breathing and feeling. Feeling like he wanted a second chance at a life with Lori. This time, he would make sure she didn’t get the cancer. How would he do that? Eddie didn’t know the answer to that question; but now, he did know absolutely know one thing. Even with all that happened, he loved Lori with all his heart. No matter what the gossips said about him, when he said he would take care of Lori until the day she died, he meant every word.

  “Eddie? Where you been, baby?”

  Eddie glanced at Starr. She was attractive in a certain way, he supposed, in her tight jeans and sweater. Now though—well, right now he just didn’t know what he felt about anything or anybody.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself. I do something wrong?”

  “She’s gone, Starr.”

  “Who? You mean Lori? She’s been gone for a while now, baby. What’s wrong with you?”

  “No, I mean, she’s—” Eddie stared at the wall while he spoke. “Lori’s dead.”

  “Well, sure. She had the cancer.” Starr frowned and chewed on her lip. “Where’d she die?”

  “Don’t remember what the cop said. Somewhere in Nevada. Something about a train station, all’s I can recall right now. They’re sending her body back here, so I guess I need to think about a funeral—or a party or something.”

  “Why don’t you call that neighbor woman friend of hers, what’s her name? She called her Mrs. P.”

  “That’s a good idea, I guess. I guess it’s a good one. You got all the answers, don’t you?”

  “Yes and no. Now either we go get some breakfast, or I’m making me some pancakes.” She opened the refrigerator and snatched a bottle of dark beer from the top shelf. “I was hoping there was one of these left. A lot better than orange juice, don’t you think?” She twisted off the cap and downed a long gulp. “There. So, are we going or what?”

  “Gotta get my wallet.”

  “It’s the danged phone again,” Starr said. “I’m getting it this time. If you answer it, we’ll never leave.” She grabbed the receiver, cradled it on her bony shoulder and took another swig of the beer.

  “Hi there,” she said, one hand planted on her hip. In an instant, her face brightened. “Dr. Pizza! Say, long time, no see, huh? Got some breaking news for you, Bubba. Oh, okay. Your news first. But, make it quick, hear? Eddie’s taking me out for pancakes. Oh, and something else. He’s coughing up blood all the time. Says it’s not a big deal, and I don’t know, maybe it isn’t, but I say, anything that looks that bad can’t be good. Well sure, I’ll try to get him to come in, but after the news he just got, I don’t know when that’ll be. What? You know, the news about Lori. Huh? You didn’t? Well, hon, see, she just up and died. Guess nobody told you. Well, now you know. I don’t know all the particulars, but Eddie said they’d be sending her body back today. You know, he was thinking that neighbor lady friend of hers, that Mrs. P lady—yeah, Pennybaker, that’s it. Well, maybe she could set something up for Lori’s friends. You don’t think so? Why not? You’re kidding me. Her too? Now, ain’t that something? Sure, I’ll let him know.” One last chug of beer, and Starr set the empty bottle on the kitchen table, kind of like a centerpiece.

  “Hey, why’d you call?” Starr listened.

  After a few moments, she spoke.

  “Buddy, listen to me. Eddie won’t be calling you about nothing. No more. And thank the stars above, Lori Raines is dead. She won’t be around to bother you or me or any of us. No more. So, just forget her. I plan to. Oh, and sorry about Mrs. P.” She hung up the receiver and heard a rustle in the hall.

  “Ready?” Eddie said. “I guess after the bad news I just got, it’ll be good for me to get out.”

  “Perfect timing, Eddie Bear,” Starr said. “Let’s go out and forget.”

  “Afraid I can’t forget everything at once, Starr.”

  Starr squeezed Eddie’s hand. For the first time, he didn’t squeeze her hand back, but Starr wasn’t worried. She got Eddie to forget about Lori once before, didn’t she?

  Well, she’d bet anybody a bottle of beer, she could do it again.

  Dr. Skelton stared at me in the gray light. Outside his office, snowflakes swirled through the barren trees, and piled high on the windowsill.

  “Are you sure, Spezia?” Dr. Skelton said. “Have you verified this information?” He sipped coffee from a Styrofoam cup and puffed on a cigarette.

  “Yes, Dr. Skelton.” Even to myself, I looked defeated and sounded discouraged.

  “After the conversation with Starr, I phoned the Las Vegas Police Department. I even called Amtrak and spoke with Brad, the man that helped her at the station. He told me Lori looked a bit tired, but nothing about her appearance alarmed him. Certainly nothing caused him to believe that she needed medical attention. It just doesn’t make sense.”

  “Hmm.”

  Just once, before I graduated, I wished Dr. Skelton would say something new.

  “Something like this happened to me once, you know.”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. Suddenly, I felt very guilty.

  “I’ve never shared this with anyone, but well…now might be a good time. Years ago, when I was a medical student, I was married to a young woman—don’t look so shocked, Spezia, I was young once too, believe it or not. I was very much in love with her. And I believed that she loved me in the same way.”

  “Dr. Skelton, I—”

  “Please, just hear me out.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “That’s not necessary. All right, as I was saying, I believed she loved me in the same way. I suppose she was fond of me. After all, I am rather likable, don’t you think? One day, I returned home to find a letter from her—can’t tell you how it shocked me, Spezia. Really shocked me. Well, she said she was going back to Plano, Texas, of all places. Seems that her old flame from West Point was getting a divorce and wanted to see her again. And so, after roughly two years or so with me, off she went, taking nothing but her clothes and a little money with her. Nothing much, really, in the material sense. Wh
at she took from me that day, Spezia, was much greater than any amount of money can buy. The day that I stood there, reading that letter, a piece of my soul died.” His voice trembled. “Do you know what I mean?”

  “Yes. Yes, I think I do.”

  “I tell you this now, because you will have occasions like this one, in which you know that you have done your best, and yet, things end very badly, even tragically. I know. It has happened to me. It can leave you scarred, but listen to me because this is very important—you cannot allow yourself to become bitter.” He stubbed out the cigarette and stretched his shoulders.

  “I feel terrible about this. I should have been there.”

  “Lori Raines died on her own terms. Let her go. From what I know, her life here was no picnic.”

  “How do I cope with the guilt of a failure?”

  “Myself, I recall the times when things turned out better than they should have—you will have those times, too—times when I thought all was lost, but I stepped up, and the Hand of Providence took the wheel. Which, by the way, brings me to your performance in the Emergency Room last evening. You are to be congratulated on your courage and leadership under pressure. That central line you put in was smooth. You saved that young woman’s life, Spezia.”

  “What are you going to do about Freeman? I can’t deal with that again.”

  “How long do you believe Freeman’s habit has been a problem?”

  “From the looks of the situation last night, it must have been going on at least a year. Nurse Potts said that the drug cabinet’s been short on Dilaudid and morphine for around six or seven months.”

  “Why wasn’t this deficit reported immediately?”

  “She said she thought she could deal with Freeman herself, before it became a big problem.”

  “That sounds like Nurse Potts.” Dr. Skelton rose and extended his hand. “Dr. Spezia, you are on your way to becoming a fine physician. Remember, always be decisive. Once the decision is made, do not second guess yourself. Make the best judgment you can at the point of decision. Never look back. Understood?”

  “Yes sir.” I smiled and shook Dr. Skelton’s hand.

  Dr. Skelton’s eyes glazed over with a distant expression. “Always remember, Spezia. There is what you expect in this life—and what you actually receive. Rarely do the two coincide.” With short, brisk steps, he rushed from the room.