Torn

by Karen Moore

  Hanna sensed the mood lightening as Michele went to find the bottles of vintage champagne that he’d put aside for this purpose.

  “Can I give you a hand?” she asked, feeling guilty that she’d contributed so little to the day. She followed him into the dining room where the table was already set and waiting for the festive feast.

  “Yes, you can bring in the glasses if you don’t mind. That would be a real help,” he said, pointing to a tray of tall elegant flutes standing ready on the traditional wooden dresser standing at the far side of the room.

  “Fine, will do. Anything else?”

  “Oh, and the canapés over there,” he indicated another tray of small dishes filled with an array of crostini, along with salted almonds and pistachios.

  “I’ll take the glasses in first and come back for those,” said Hanna, picking up the first tray.

  By the time she returned to the lounge with the canapés, Michele was filling the flutes ready for the toast. Hanna set the little dishes down on a side table and joined Luciano, who handed her a glass.

  “Salute! Buon Natale a tutti! Happy Christmas, everyone!” he declared, raising his glass and slipping his other arm round Hanna’s shoulder.

  “Salute! Cin, cin! Cheers, good health,” echoed the family members, their glasses poised in mid-air.

  “And before we drink a toast to another prosperous year, I have an announcement to make,” declared Luciano ceremoniously, shooting Hanna a conspiratorial smile. “This is going to be a landmark year for our family, as Hanna has done me the honour of consenting to be my wife.”

  His words were met with a few seconds of stunned silence, followed by a ripple of applause. The news had obviously taken them all completely by surprise.

  “That’s wonderful news,” said Arazia smiling, although her face seemed drawn and tight. “We’re just a little taken aback, that’s all. Everything has happened so quickly…”

  “Don’t mind my wife, Hanna,” said Michele. “We’re quite traditional in Sicily, set in our ways. The important thing is that this is what you want and are happy.”

  “I haven’t finished yet, there’s more news!” interrupted Luciano, eager to round off their bombshell. “You’re going to become nonni – grandparents – and Paola and Giulio auntie and uncle. What do you think of that?!”

  More applause and laughter, followed by the menfolk slapping each other on the back, the women exchanging hugs. Hanna smiled shyly, a little embarrassed at Luciano’s flamboyant announcement but nevertheless delighted by the family’s response. They all seemed genuinely pleased and each one in turn embraced her, kissing her on both cheeks.

  “That explains the ‘illness’ then,” said Paola, smiling. “I’d already guessed but didn’t want to mention it until you did. I’m delighted for you both. When’s it due?”

  “Towards the end of July,” confirmed Hanna. “I’m so excited but I want to get the first trimester over and done with, so I feel better. It’s not been the best of starts.”

  “Never mind, you’ll get there,” said Arazia firmly. “But first things first. When are you planning the nuptials, before or after?”

  “Just as soon as we can so that everything’s in place before the baby’s born,” said Luciano beaming proudly, taking Hanna’s hand. “We would have done it soon anyway. The baby just means that we’re bringing it forward.”

  Arazia nodded as if this wasn’t news to her. Had Luciano already told her? Maybe, but the important thing was that his family was happy and supportive. Otherwise, it would have been difficult or even impossible: they were such a close-knit family and Luciano wouldn’t act against their wishes.

  “We’ve had far too much excitement for one day, already!” declared Michele. “C’mon, tribe, don’t know about you but I’m starving! If everything’s ready, let’s go and eat!”

  Chapter Nineteen

  North Wales, Monday 13th November, 2017

  Today was the day. Hanna’s first day at work and Eva’s first day at nursery. Hanna had been dreading it, taking their first real step back into the world, starting to mix with strangers again. For the last few weeks, they’d been in their own little bubble, with only Rhys and Nerys and their furry friends Cosmo and Bryn for company.

  Hanna had spent the last few days preparing. For her, it was straightforward enough and involved doing some research on the walking festival: what had been done in previous years, and what new ideas and opportunities she could think up for this year’s event. But with Eva, it was quite a different matter and took no end of persuasion.

  “It’ll be fun, Eva, you’ll see. There’ll be lots of other children to play with and you’ll be able to make new friends. Much better than being with boring grown-ups all the time. And it’s only for a few hours…”

  Eva’s face set in a scowl and angry tears sprang from her eyes. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay here. You can’t make me,” she wailed.

  “It won’t be so bad, and we can stop off on the way back and see the birds,” said Hanna, referring to the RSPB nature reserve at Conwy – a sure-fire win with Eva who loved anything involving animals.

  Eva’s face brightened momentarily. “OK, but only if Babbo comes, too.”

  Hanna sighed. “Eva, you know that’s not possible. Daddy’s busy working away and won’t be back for a while. It’s just you and me now, which is why it’ll be nice for you to make some new friends.”

  The conversation continued in the same vein for several minutes. No matter how she cajoled, there was no pacifying her defiant little bundle of a daughter. Finally, in exasperation, Hanna said, “What about a visit to the bird place, a boat trip down the river, and an ice cream afterwards?”

  A whisper of a smile appeared on Eva’s petulant tear-stained face.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” Hanna said, relieved that her daughter was relenting at last.

  “Only if Orsina can come,” said the tot, as if determined to have the last word.

  “Okay, but take good care of her and make sure you don’t lose her.”

  “She’s my best friend – she looks after me.”

  Hanna smiled. “In that case, I’d better have a word with her and make sure she does a good job!”

  That was two days ago. Hanna felt it better not to broach the subject again until the actual day. Now it was here and she expected a tantrum, but Eva took it all in her stride and let herself be dressed in leggings and a flowery tunic without making a fuss, even singing one of her favourite songs in her usual jumble of Italian and English. I’ll have to warn the nursery about the Italian, thought Hanna reluctantly.

  Hanna dressed quickly, donning her burnt-orange sweater dress, opaque mocha tights, and matching boots. Smart enough to make an impression but not over the top, she hoped. A quick lick of make-up, a brush through her hair, and she was ready.

  The slate clock on the kitchen wall showed it was nearly nine; time to go.

  “Are we all ready?” she asked, having noticed Eva clasping Orsina to her chest. Eva gave a solemn nod without uttering a word. She’s still not happy about it, thought Hanna. “C’mon, then, let’s hit the road!”

  Gathering up her bag and their coats, she bundled the lot into the car and fastened Eva securely into the car seat. The engine started with a splutter and seemed about to peter out before finally sparking into life. She pulled out slowly onto the track, which sparkled with a covering of light frost, and proceeded to negotiate the bends down to Conwy with care, although by now they were becoming quite familiar.

  It was unusually quiet in the car; in the rear-view mirror, she saw why – Eva had already dozed off. That left Hanna free to ponder the day ahead and what it would bring. For her, this was to be a sort-of induction where she’d meet the Head of Tourism and the rest of the team and find out more about the job. She was looking forward to it now; it felt like ages since she’d had to apply herself to work and she relished the new challenge. For Eva, it would be a whole new world, one where childre
n spoke a different language and played different games. Hanna wondered how she’d take to it. If it did work out, that might be difficult, too, as Hanna was hoping to do most of her work from home which would mean that Eva wouldn’t be at nursery that often.

  On reaching Conwy, the traffic thickened and Hanna concentrated on the road and the route ahead. Eva woke up just as they were approaching Bangor.

  “Where are we? Where are we going?” she asked, clearly still muzzy from her nap.

  “Remember, Mummy’s starting work today and you’re going to nursery to meet some new friends.”

  Hanna caught Eva’s sour, grizzled expression in the mirror.

  “Don’t want to, want to stay at home,” she began, kicking the car seat in protest.

  “Look, we’re nearly there now and the lady at the nursery said that there’s a magician coming in today. You’ll like that.”

  Eva’s face brightened. “How long do I have to stay there?”

  “Well, I’ll drop you off on my way in, you’ll have some lunch there, then there’ll be the magic show in the afternoon, and I’ll pick you up afterwards. If there’s still time, we’ll stop off at the nature reserve on the way back. If not, we’ll go at the weekend. How about that for a plan?”

  “Orsina likes it, so I have to, too.”

  Hanna laughed at the tot’s logic. She’d finally managed to win her round.

  By the time they drew up outside the nursery in Llangefni, Eva was back to her usual animated self, chattering away to Orsina in the back of the car. Hanna marvelled at Eva’s mood swings, how she could go from being a little devil one minute to an angel the next, and her own ability to stay so patient with her.

  Hanna released Eva from the car seat and took her hand as they approached the glossy red door of the Victorian terraced house where the Happy Tots nursery was located. The door was opened by a large woman in her forties with bright red hair and matching smudges of paint across her face and down the front of her smock.

  “You must be Hanna! And is this little Eva?” the woman said in a strong Welsh lilt before Hanna got the chance to speak. She bent down to say hello, but Eva had taken refuge behind Hanna’s legs. “Hi Eva, I’m Dilys. We’ve been expecting you. Come on in and meet the others.”

  “Nice to meet you, Dilys,” said Hanna with a smile. “Thanks for taking her in, especially on such an ad hoc basis. I really appreciate it and hope she won’t be too much trouble.”

  “Course, she won’t. She’ll be fine, won’t you, pet?”

  Eva smiled shyly as Dilys ushered them down the hallway into a large room that stretched the full length of the house. A group of excited toddlers milled around a handful of nursery assistants. A painting session was in full swing; huge expanses of white paper lay across the floor, half covered by multi-coloured handprints.

  Eva squealed with glee. “Can I have a go, Mammina?” she asked. Without waiting for a reply, she let go of Hanna’s hand and skipped over to join the others, her previous shyness now forgotten.

  “Well, that certainly didn’t take long!” said Hanna with a smile. “And here’s me thinking that she’d find it hard to settle in!”

  “We don’t usually find that newbies have too many problems,” said Dilys, as she watched one of the assistants help Eva into a smock and start to show her what to do. “Would you mind stepping into the office for a couple of minutes while we finalise the details? Do you have time?”

  Hanna glanced at her watch. Just under half an hour before she was expected at the Town Hall, which was only a couple of streets away. Plenty of time to complete the paperwork.

  “Yes, no problem,” she replied, hoping that the questions wouldn’t be too searching.

  “I hear Eva’s mother tongue is Italian,” said Dilys. “It shouldn’t be a problem as we have a little boy, Ottavio, whose family is Italian. He speaks in a jumble of English, Welsh, and some Italian dialect. Sicilian, I think.”

  Hanna’s blood ran cold.

  Chapter Twenty

  Sicily, Tuesday 17th February, 2014

  Hanna couldn’t believe how quickly the next few weeks flew by. At times she felt out of control, as if she were just a minor player caught up in the frenzy of arrangements the family was putting in place. The pregnancy was taking its toll, further adding to her feelings of helplessness. Arazia, her future mother-in-law, was determined that the wedding would go ahead before Hanna’s bump became too noticeable, so the bella figura could be maintained.

  But Hanna consoled herself with the thought that her relationship with Luciano was strong and this was what they both wanted for the future. He was quite happy to leave the wedding planning to his mother and her little band of helpers, who were all treating it like a military operation. Hanna would have preferred a small intimate affair, especially in the circumstances, but there was no chance of that. Not only was there the wedding and the baby to think of, but also somewhere more spacious for them to live. Luciano’s apartment in Cefalu wasn’t really suitable now there was a baby on the way.

  She confided her thoughts to Ceri over coffee at the apartment they used to share in the old town. They’d just been to visit the sprawling new hospital development on the edge of town where she would give birth.

  “Am I being selfish? I suppose I should consider myself lucky. Things with Luciano are going really well although he’s still away a lot. I seem to be spending more and more time with his mother and sister, listening to their ideas and agreeing to all their elaborate plans. It’s going to be such a high-profile affair, you’d think we were local celebrities.”

  “Well, it certainly saves you and Luciano the bother, especially as you’ve not been feeling too well,” said Ceri. “Maybe you should let them get on with it and count your blessings. Don’t stress, just relax and enjoy it.”

  “Maybe I should. Anyway, I couldn’t back out of it now even if I wanted to. It’s all a bit scary really, like being on a runaway train.” Hanna giggled nervously.

  “Yes, it’s funny how things have changed so fast for both of us. Whatever happened to our carefree lives as tour guides? No responsibilities, no ties. Just look at us now – you about to get married into a prominent Sicilian family with a baby on the way, and me involved with a journo on a mission!”

  They both laughed. At least they had each other to confide in. If it wasn’t for Ceri, Hanna would feel pretty isolated. She could always rely on Ceri for her practical, no-nonsense take on life.

  “And anyway, I’m facing my own dilemma,” said Ceri, turning serious. “I’m not going to be able to afford the rent on this place when you’ve gone. I’ll have to find somewhere else to live. Sergio wants me to move in with him, but his life is so chaotic. I don’t know if that’s what I want right now.”

  “I’m sure Luciano would help…” Hanna started hesitantly.

  “Thanks, but I don’t need his charity. I’ll manage fine on my own,” interrupted Ceri sharply.

  “OK, I’d hate to think that you’re being forced out of here because of me getting married.”

  Ceri’s face softened. “Sorry, didn’t mean to bite your head off. Just need to think about my options and where things are headed with Sergio before I rush into anything. It’s been playing on my mind. So, are you going to fill me in on where the plans are up to?”

  “You might want to make some more coffee – this could take a while!” Hanna joked as Ceri acted on her suggestion and disappeared momentarily into the kitchen to replenish the coffee pot.

  Hanna’s mobile rang. She checked the screen – it was Arazia, again.

  “Ciao, cara. I’ve got some wonderful news. I’ve found the perfect place for you and Luciano. It’s just outside Cefalu and has loads of room to bring up the little one. You just have to see it! We can all go up at the weekend and stop off for a spot of lunch. What do you think?” she enthused.

  You couldn’t doubt her enthusiasm and energy, thought Hanna. Exactly like a runaway train. She sighed inwardly. She should be grat
eful that Luciano’s family was being so supportive. Half of the arrangements wouldn’t have been done if they’d been left to Luciano. They agreed to meet up with the vendor that Sunday, followed by a late lunch at some restaurant that Arazia insisted was a ‘must do’. Yet another of the family’s plans that she was going along with.

  Arazia was right. The house was set in an idyllic location, nestled in the foothills of the Madonian Mountains, above a lush green valley. Built of local honey-coloured stone, it sat bathed in wintry sunlight, warm and welcoming. Hanna and Luciano exchanged glances; the place was impressive.

  Arazia and Michele were waiting for them outside with the owner, who was introduced as Salvatore. From the way the three of them were chatting, Salvatore seemed to be more than a passing acquaintance.

  The house was enchanting, surrounded by a garden full of succulents and native plants that would be a blaze of colour in the spring and summer. And as Salvatore showed them around, the more Hanna saw, the more she liked. The only downside was that it might be a little rustic and isolated for someone used to the hustle and bustle of towns. But in every other respect, it seemed perfect.

  “The property dates back to the seventeenth century but has been restored over time,” explained Salvatore, opening the solid wood front door and ushering them inside. “You’ll see that there are several buildings clustered around a cobbled inner courtyard which opens onto an extensive garden. The main house spreads over two floors. This is the living room.”

  Hanna cast an appreciative glance around the spacious room, lit by the rays of sun filtering through the windows. Furnished in a simple rustic style in warm shades of terracotta, it oozed character, from the wide open hearth, broad wooden beams, and exposed stone walls, to the heavy wooden shutters framing the windows and doors. Luciano caught her eye and smiled, evidently thinking along the same lines. The kitchen was equally as expansive and rustic but with the benefit of a modern, high-end range cooker and integrated appliances. Upstairs were four ample bedrooms, one of which had been converted into an office. There was plenty of space for their new family.