Desperately Seeking Dad

by Marta Perry

  Noise in the hallway wiped the smile from his face. It was stupid of him to tense at the very sound of his brother’s footsteps.

  If just knowing Anne could bring him this far from the person he’d been, he ought to be able to get through one breakfast conversation with his brother without snapping. He could try, anyway.

  Link wandered through the doorway, spotted the coffeepot and made straight for it. He didn’t glance at Mitch until he’d taken several long gulps from his mug.

  Maybe it was up to Mitch to get the conversational ball rolling. “How did your reunion go?” At least he hadn’t heard any damage reports, so it couldn’t have been too wild a time.

  An expression of disgust crossed Link’s face. “You wouldn’t believe it. The old gang is going domestic. Getting married, buying houses, having kids…I thought I was in an old television rerun.”

  Mitch grinned. “Wedding bells are breaking up the old gang, huh?”

  “That might be okay for them.” Link responded with an answering grin that reminded Mitch of the little brother who’d once looked up to him. “But it’s definitely not in my plans.”

  “What are your plans?”

  Link shrugged. “The company wanted to send me to Anchorage on a project, but I turned it down.” He shook his head. “Not for me. A two-year commitment, responsibility of crew chief…definitely not for me.”

  That was Link all over: running from any hint of something settled. “A little responsibility isn’t a bad thing,” Mitch said. He tried to keep the words light, but he could tell from the tightening of Link’s expression that he didn’t succeed.

  “This town is getting to you, big brother. Be responsible, settle down, act just like everybody else and maybe they’ll like you. Maybe they’ll forget what you came from.”

  His hand tightened on the coffee cup. “That’s not what’s important to me.”

  “Sure it is.” Link slammed his mug down on the table. “You think I don’t know? I watched you at that fall festival when the mayor called you up on stage, said what a great job you’d done. You were eating it up. You’d have licked his boots for that praise.”

  Link’s words moved slowly through his mind. The foliage festival Link meant wasn’t the most recent one. It was the one before.

  His heart turned to lead. It was the one that was held when Tina Mallory was in town, when Link wasn’t supposed to have been anywhere near Bedford Creek.

  He looked at his brother. “That was the festival before last. I thought you weren’t here then.”

  He could see the wheels turning in Link’s mind, see him backpedaling. See him deciding it didn’t matter.

  “Yeah, so? That was after you’d told me never to darken your door again. I didn’t bother to tell you I was in town. Place was so crowded with tourists, you’d never have noticed unless I’d walked right up to you. I wanted to see my buddies.”

  “And who else did you see?” The words tasted like ashes in his mouth.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean Tina Mallory.” He could see it, rolling inexorably toward him. Link and Tina Mallory. Emilie. He almost didn’t need to ask. He knew the truth, bone deep, and it was crushing him.

  “Tina?” Link shrugged, turning away, not meeting his eyes. “Don’t know her.”

  “You did.” Mitch stood, feeling as if he forced his way upward against a huge weight. He pressed his fists against the table. “You knew her. You went out with her. You left her pregnant.”

  “Pregnant?” Link’s face lost its color. “What are you talking about?”

  “Tina Mallory. Cute little kid who worked at the café. A little kid you got pregnant.” He hammered the words at his brother. “She’s dead now, if you care.”

  “No!”

  He could see Link’s mind working feverishly, trying to find an excuse, an evasion. He felt suddenly very tired, as if the past had rolled over him and flattened him, and he’d never be right again.

  “Don’t bother to deny it. I can see the truth in your face.”

  A hunted look flickered in Link’s eyes. “All right, I dated her a couple times. We got close. But I didn’t know anything about a baby. I went back to the job. Tried to call her maybe a couple months later, but she’d left town. I never heard from her again. She never told me anything about any baby.”

  Given Link’s history, the words rang true, but it didn’t seem to make much difference whether his brother had known about the baby or not. He could only think it was the end of everything.

  “It wasn’t my fault!” Link slammed his fist down on the table. “I know what you’re thinking, but it wasn’t just me. It was her, too.”

  “She was a kid.”

  “She was old enough to know what she was doing. And if you think you’re going to tangle me up in this, you’re wrong.” He thrust away from the table and reached the back door almost before he finished speaking.

  “Wait a minute.” Mitch reached toward him. “We have to talk about this. For once in your life you have to face your responsibility.”

  “You talk about it, big brother. I’m getting out of here.” He flung open the door before Mitch could get around the table, then looked back over his shoulder. “And think about this, while you’re at it. The only reason she even went out with me was because I was your brother.”

  That stopped Mitch in his tracks. “What are you talking about?”

  “That’s right.” The old mocking, defiant Link was back. “She went out with me because she had a crush on you, and you never gave her the time of day.”

  He slammed out.

  Mitch stared at the door, pain wrapping around his heart. It looked as if he and Link, between them, had just proved that everything people had ever said about the Donovans was true.

  That was what Anne would think. Anne. A fresh spasm of pain hit him.

  He had to tell her, even though it might mean the end of everything between them.

  There was only one thing he could do before he faced Anne with the truth. He’d catch up with Link and make him agree to sign the papers before he disappeared again. At least he could spare Anne that much pain.

  She’d take the baby… His niece. An even stronger pain slammed his heart, shattering it. She’d take Emilie and the papers, and leave. He’d never see them again.

  He wasn’t sure how he’d go about living with that.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “There we go, sweetheart.” Anne snapped Emilie’s romper. “All clean and dry and happy.”

  Emilie waved both arms, seeming ready to launch herself into space from her diaper change. Anne lifted her, planting a kiss on the soft round cheek.

  “That’s my girl. We’ll just go downstairs and maybe…”

  Maybe they’d look out the window and see Mitch? That was what she was thinking; she couldn’t deny it.

  Happiness seemed to bubble up inside her. Last night had been frightening, but it had been good, too. Thanks to Davey, she and Mitch had found their way past some of the barriers between them.

  Arms snug around Emilie, she started down the steps. For the last eight months, she’d believed having Emilie in her life was all she’d ever need to be happy. Now…now she was looking beyond just herself and Emilie, to the possibility of a real family.

  Even a month ago she wouldn’t have thought it possible. But she’d already trusted Mitch more than she’d ever trusted anyone in her life. Maybe she really could take that next step, a step toward the kind of emotional intimacy she’d never imagined having. If she and Mitch could reach that, they’d share the kind of love she’d never believed would be hers.

  The telephone rang in the hall below, and Kate rushed in from the kitchen to snatch it up, smiling at Anne and Emilie as they came down the stairs.

  “Good afternoon. The Willows.”

  She listened for a moment, then held the receiver out to Anne.

  “It’s for you. Let me take that sweet child while you’re talking.”

&n
bsp; Anne exchanged Emilie for the telephone. Kate, cooing to the baby, walked back toward the kitchen.

  Anne lifted the receiver. Mitch? There was no reason to think he’d call this afternoon, but even so her heart beat a little faster. “Hello?”

  “This is Marcy Brown.” The girl’s voice was hesitant. “You wrote me about Tina?”

  Her stomach turned over, and she gripped the receiver. Marcy Brown, at last. “I’m so glad you called. And sorry I had to break such bad news to you. The thing is, Marcy, I need to find the baby’s birth father in order to finalize the adoption. I’m hoping you can tell me something about him.”

  Silence seemed to press along the connection.

  “I—I don’t…well, didn’t Tina tell you who it was?”

  Careful, careful. “Tina mentioned one name. Mitch Donovan. But I know he’s not the father, and I can’t begin to guess why Tina would lie about it.”

  Marcy’s sigh came over the line clearly. “She said that, did she? I told her not to, but she wouldn’t listen.”

  “You know, then.” The blood seemed to be pounding in her ears. “You know who Emilie’s father is. You know why she named Mitch.”

  “Yeah, well, that part’s nuts, but Tina went off the deep end sometimes. Thing was, she really liked the chief, always talked about how nice he was to her and what a great guy he was. I think maybe when she realized the other guy was gone and wasn’t coming back, she sort of pretended. You know, pretended that Mitch Donovan was the one, so everything would be all right. She didn’t mean any harm by it… At any rate, it was Link Donovan. You know who I mean? The chief’s brother.”

  The hallway did a slow spin around her, and she sank down abruptly on the bench. “How… But how can that be? I thought he wasn’t even in Bedford Creek when Tina was here.” That was what Mitch had said. He wouldn’t lie to her.

  “He was there—”

  Anne could almost hear the shrug.

  “—just for a couple weeks in the fall. It seems to me I did hear him say he didn’t want his brother to know he was in town. Like they’d had some big fight or something.”

  The certainty settled on her like a weight. Mitch had mentioned the quarrel. Probably he’d never suspected Link was back in Bedford Creek at the crucial time.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Oh, yeah. He was the only guy she went out with, and I think she just went with him because he sort of reminded her of the chief.”

  “I understand.” She did. Tina, reaching out for love, had snatched at whatever was offered. But it hadn’t been love.

  A few more exchanges, a promise to send a photo of Emilie, and Anne put down the receiver. She knew now. She had the information she’d come to Bedford Creek to find.

  And after asking Kate to watch Emilie, she headed out to find Mitch.

  Ten minutes later, she stopped on the sidewalk outside the police station, stomach knotting. This would be difficult, so much more difficult than that first day, and she’d thought nothing could be worse than that.

  Help me, Lord. Help me find the words. This news is going to hurt Mitch so much. I don’t want to cause him pain, but he has to know.

  She took a deep breath and opened the door.

  Wanda looked up at her entrance, smiled, and waved her toward the inner office door.

  Anne tapped, then opened the door. Mitch stood at the desk, head bent, just hanging up the phone. Her heart gave a little jump at the sight of him. For an instant thoughts of her reason for being there slipped away, and she was back in his arms again the night before, knowing she loved him.

  No. She couldn’t let herself think about that, not now. Not when she had to tell him something that would hurt him so badly.

  “Anne.”

  She half expected him to round the desk toward her, but he didn’t. “I have some news,” she said, then stopped. This was so difficult, but she had to do it. She’d tried handling everything on her own, and it hadn’t worked. Surely she and Mitch had come far enough to deal with this together.

  “What is it?” He did come around the desk then, reaching toward her as if expecting the worst.

  “Marcy Brown called.” There wasn’t any way to say this but to get it out. “She knew about Tina’s pregnancy. Knew who the father was.” She swallowed hard. “She even knew why Tina named you.”

  He didn’t say anything, just stared at her from under lowered brows, his face expressionless. The mask was back in full force, as if he needed its protection.

  “She said…” She took a steadying breath. “She said it was Link.”

  There, it was out. Mitch would be shocked, denying it, but…

  But he wasn’t. He just stood there, looking at her, and she read the knowledge in his face.

  “You already knew.” The words were out before she thought about them. He knew.

  Pain gripped her. All this time she’d been desperate to find the truth, all this time…

  “How could you do this?” The blood pounded in her head. Later she’d need to weep, but not now. Now she had to react to this betrayal.

  “Anne, it’s not what you think.”

  “You knew how important this is. How could you lie to me?” Maybe she wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears until later. They stung her eyes, salty and bitter.

  “I didn’t!”

  Her heart turned to stone. “You knew. You didn’t tell me. What is that but a lie?”

  He reached out to her, as if to touch her, and she recoiled. He let his hand drop, eyes darkening.

  “I didn’t know, not until today. You can’t believe I’ve been lying to you all along—”

  “When today?” It was like being back in a courtroom, but she’d never tried a case that held so much personal anguish for her.

  He stiffened. “This morning. Link told me the truth this morning.”

  “And you kept it from me.” Her head throbbed. “How long were you going to keep it from me, Mitch? Until after he was gone again? Until he wasn’t here in Bedford Creek to embarrass you?”

  “No! That’s not why I didn’t tell you. Anne, you have to believe me. I only wanted—”

  She shook her head. “You’re wrong. I don’t have to believe you.” She could barely breathe against the heartache. “I was wrong ever to trust you. It’s a mistake I won’t make again.”

  Mitch stared at the door that had closed behind Anne—that closed on any chance he might have to make things right.

  He could go after her, but what would he say? I was wrong? She knew that already, and nothing he could say would make it any different.

  He’d ruined everything with his black stubbornness. If he’d gone to her with the truth right away, maybe there would have been some small chance to make things right. Now there was none.

  He’d told himself he was trying to spare her, to delay telling her until he could find Link and try to repair the damage. But maybe she was right. Maybe he was really trying to spare himself.

  He hadn’t fixed anything. He’d lost his brother and he’d lost Anne, and this was one thing he couldn’t blame on his father. This one was all his fault.

  One way or another, he had to find Link. Getting Link to cooperate wouldn’t change things between himself and Anne. How could it? But at least it would make things right for her and Emilie. That was all he could expect.

  Getting Link’s signature was the only thing left Mitch could do for Anne, and he wasn’t going to fail.

  But two hours later the possibility of failure loomed a lot larger. He drove down River Street one more time. He’d tried every friend of Link’s he could remember, tried every place his brother might be staying. He met nothing but blank looks. No one had seen his brother since the day before.

  He seemed to be out of options. His stomach twisted. He’d have to see Anne, let her know what he was trying to do. She wouldn’t want to see him, but he had to tell her he wouldn’t give up until he had Link ready to sign.

  He stopped in front of Kate’s
place, took the steps two at a time. He rapped on the door.

  Kate swung it open and looked at him, her gaze a little startled. “Mitch. Is something wrong?”

  “I need to see Anne. Will you let her know I’m here?”

  But Kate was shaking her head. “I can’t do that.”

  “What do you mean?” He could sense bad news coming, see it in the way her gaze slid away from his.

  “Anne’s gone.” Kate gave a helpless little gesture. “I couldn’t talk her out of it. She took the baby and went back to Philadelphia.”

  The road snaked ahead of Anne, glistening a little in the gray afternoon light. The cold, light rain slicked the pavement, and she slowed as she started up the steep hill. Maybe if she kept her mind on the road conditions, she could keep the pain at bay a little longer.

  It didn’t seem to be working. Her breath caught on a little sob.

  Mitch, how could you do this? How could you betray me this way?

  Emilie wiggled in her car seat, just beginning to fuss. She hadn’t been happy to be packed up so abruptly. And Kate…Kate hadn’t understood at all, but Anne hadn’t been able to explain her sudden need to leave.

  She still couldn’t, not even to herself. She’d just known she had to get away from Bedford Creek, away from Mitch.

  “Hush, Emilie. It’ll be all right. We’ll be home soon.”

  That was what she needed to hear someone say to her. It will be all right. But there was no one to do that.

  Why, Lord? she prayed bleakly. Why did You let me begin to trust, begin to care, only to face betrayal?

  She could have handled the fact that Link was Emilie’s father. She could even understand Tina’s convoluted reasoning in naming Mitch as the father.

  Tina had thought Mitch was everything Link wasn’t—solid, responsible, trustworthy. She’d probably thought she could count on Mitch to do the right thing.

  Anger pulsed through her; she tightened her grip on the wheel. She’d thought that, too. And they’d both been wrong. He’d chosen to protect his brother instead of her and Emilie.