by Renee Hewett
She smiled sadly at Willow. “I have instructions to take you to your room. I’m sorry.”
“You can understand, can’t you? I need to see him.” Willow watched the other attendants go into the lobby, likely to guide the other guests.
“I do understand, and I promise that if you work on getting a shower, change, and rest, I’ll spend that time doing everything I can to get Graham’s location and permission to take you there.”
Willow could see in the woman’s brown eyes that she had sympathy, and she trusted what she said. “Okay.” She didn’t know how they expected her to find a way to rest, as worried as she was for Graham, but she would try.
This time, the walk to Willow’s room didn’t involve a tremor. She felt relieved that they’d at least been able to fix the problem, even if it had possibly cost Graham his life.
No. She couldn’t think like that. He’d be fine.
Before she tried to unwind, she had to report in. She used the phone—the only true connection to the rest of the world—in her room to call Jack. She had no idea what the time was in Ursanis and even less idea of what time it was where Jack was, but she knew he would answer.
“Baldwin, how’s it going.”
“Well, we can call the mission a success. The pyrosomes are returned, the Old One is asleep, the city and the world saved.”
“I got Risa’s communication about the cultists. Who would have thunk it, huh? The FPU had a group track them down. We think we got the main core of them, but there's always the possibility of lingering subsets. We’re looking into it."
“Great to hear, sir. The Ursanis team said they’ve followed up with other guardian locations, and so far, none have reported that their Old Ones have been disturbed.”
“Yeah, that’s what we heard too. FPU’s still sending teams down to the sites to ensure all groups are being vigilant, and not just saying they are.”
“That’s good.”
“I thought you would be more excited, seeing as you’ll be assigned to the follow-up. Is there more you need to tell me?”
“Graham, the Ursanis rep we traveled with, the Prince of Ursanis. He collapsed after the mission. I've not received an update on his status, but I'm worried, sir." Willow felt the words catch in her throat. She wasn't usually emotional to her work colleagues, but the familiarity of Jack's voice provided her a safe spot to be honest with what she was feeling.
“I’m sorry to hear that. It’s never easy when someone goes down on a mission.”
“It’s not just that. Jack, he’s my mate.”
“Oh.” Jack was silent for a moment.
"I don't know when I can leave. I can't go home with him like this."
“Willow, you have plenty of time off accumulated. You take all the time you need.”
“Thank you, sir. I’ll keep you posted.”
She hung up with Jack, then showered. Memories of her and Graham in that very place earlier came to her, both good memories and horrible ones. The memory of him telling her she wasn’t his mate combined with flashes of him collapsing was the only thing that made her dress and then lie down. She pulled the comforter over her as though it could protect her from those awful thoughts.
She woke when someone knocked on her door. She opened it to see not the attendant, as she’d expected, but a very well-dressed Ursanis woman with long black hair and impeccable posture. “Oh, hello, are you looking for me?” Willow asked, confused.
“Yes, may I come in?”
“Sure, of course.” Willow stepped back to allow the woman in, and she realized that she’d seen the woman in the operation briefing.
She was Graham’s mother, Celia Auman, Queen of Ursanis.
The room had a small table with two chairs, and Queen Celia sat in one. While the room was lovely, very nice for someone of Willow's non-status, she couldn't help but think the queen looked very out of place on the simple chair.
“Um, can I get you something? A drink?” There were some cups in the bathroom, Willow figured she could get her some water, at least.
But Queen Celia waved her hand. “No, please, just have a seat, if you would.”
Willow did as instructed and then couldn't hold back any longer. "Please, can you tell me anything about Graham?"
Celia smiled softly, kindness shining in her eyes. “He overtapped his power. It's amazing that he was able to wield so much to begin with—to access the pack link like that. I have to say, as a mother, I'm very proud of him."
Willow wasn’t sure what that meant. “Does that mean he just needs some rest?”
A shake of her head was all Willow needed to know how serious his condition was. “It’s something you can’t come back from.”
"Oh." Willow's heart sank, and her blood turned cold. It couldn’t be.
“For what it’s worth, I wanted to tell you that regardless of what my son might have said, you are his mate. A mother knows these things.” Celia reached across the table for Willow’s hand, and Willow nearly broke.
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she asked the question she’d been wondering all along. “If that’s so, why did he deny it?”
Queen Celia sighed and folded her hands in her lap. "When Graham was young, he was very close to his grandfather. They were best friends, did everything together. And then, when he passed away, Graham was deeply wounded. Despite the happy union of his father and myself, he was convinced that nothing lasts.
“Every couple that split in Ursanis made him even more sure that he would never let someone in. We thought that once he finally went on his trip, that once he found his mate, he’d be convinced that love was worth the risk of pain.”
Willow thought of how Graham had changed toward her when he heard the news about his father’s illness. Had he been about to accept her in his life, and then his father’s illness reminded him of his vow to stay alone forever? “And you don’t think he’s right? Forgive me for my boldness, but with your husband ill, and now this happening to Graham… I don’t know how you can do it. I can see why Graham would want me to leave, to deal with the pain now instead of later…”
“Because life isn’t about avoiding pain. It’s about embracing love when you have it and being strong when you face challenges. It’s about understanding that your years are better for sharing with someone you love. No one can ever take away your years of happiness.”
Another knock on the door gave Willow the opportunity to get up while absorbing Celia's words. This time, it was Alma with Risa in tow.
Celia had followed her to the door. “Thank you for the talk, Willow. Stay strong. You never know when a solution may arrive.” Her eyes looked over Risa, and then went back to Willow. The tilt of her head and secretive smile made Willow think she knew more than she was saying, but she wasn’t about to interrogate the queen.
“You too,” Willow managed meekly while Celia left, and Risa entered. Her attendant stayed in the hall, and Willow closed the door, leaning against it and closing her eyes in exhaustion.
“I talked to Jack. He said he talked to you,” Risa said.
“Yeah.”
“He said you’re probably staying here a while.” Risa had made her way to the table and put her bag on it. She rustled through it.
Willow pushed herself away from the door, making it as far as the table before plopping down in a chair. Then she noticed Risa was holding a strange, glowing ball. “What the hell is that?”
Risa held it high, letting the light flow through the purple and blue swirls inside of it. “When one of the summoners heard me say that you were Graham’s mate, they told me about this.”
“That doesn’t tell me what it is.” But a stir of excitement had started in Willow.
"I'm getting there. They said Graham used his magic and life-force putting down the Old One, and he won't wake on his own, but a mate can help a mate heal if they have this orb." As Risa stared at it, her voice sounded far away, lost in thought.
“Give it here!” Willow lunged
at Risa, but she pulled the orb away. “What the hell? What are we waiting for?”
“There’s more.” Risa looked Willow dead in the eyes, an expression more serious than Willow had ever seen.
“Spit it out.” She would let Risa say what she needed to, so she didn’t have to wrestle the orb away from her, but Willow didn’t care what more Risa had to say. If this could help Graham, she would do it.
Risa shook her head. “There’s a catch. If you’re not really mates, if there is any chance you’re not mates, it could kill you.”
“Okay, seems legit. Play with magic, risk death. Gotcha.” Willow made grabby hands for the orb, her patience waning.
“There’s more. If you are mates, and it works, then you’ll be wielding Ursanis magic, and it will turn you into one of them."
"Okay, sounds cool." Willow spoke between gritted teeth, getting closer to wrenching the orb from Risa.
“I mean it. Your skin will turn blue. You’ll get gills. You’ll be able to shift in moray or bear form.”
"Still not hearing a downside."
“Dude, it’s going to change your life forever.” Risa’s voice rose to a squeak, the tone she took when she felt people weren’t listening to her.
"Chill, I hear you. But even if he weren't my mate, even if I didn't feel for him like I did, I would do this. I would for anyone, including you. It's not a question."
Risa wasn’t convinced. “If you do this, everything will change. You’ll belong here… you won’t belong with… us... anymore.”
Willow stepped toward Risa, taking her by her shoulders. “There was always going to come a day when we wouldn’t be partners anymore. But, Risa, we’ll always be friends, and while it would have been nice to have more time together, I’m confident you’re ready to move on, to have a new partner now, to find your own path. This is mine. I’m sure of it in a way I’m rarely sure of anything this strongly.”
Risa’s eyes were watery, but she held her composure and handed the orb to Willow. "The attendant will take us to the medical wing."
Willow hugged Risa. “Thank you.”
13
Willow entered the room, closing the door behind her and then looked to Graham’s bed, staring at his comatose body.
This man was amazing. He gave all of himself to his people without thinking twice. If Willow could help him, she would.
If this worked, though, she knew Graham would be mad. Mad that she’d risked it not working, and mad that she made the decision to join Ursanis without consulting him. Without taking into account the fact that he’d spurned her. If he’d lied about feeling she was his mate, he had the right to do so.
Willow took a deep breath. If this worked, he would be alive, and that was all that mattered. If he told her he still wanted her to leave Ursanis, then she would.
Risa didn’t give her any instructions, but she figured she could try what she could, and if she couldn’t get things to work, and she remained alive, she’d go outside and ask.
She stepped over to Graham. Should she put it in his hand? No, she decided to place the orb on his chest, above his heart, and cup her hands over it.
“Graham, can you hear me? It’s Willow. I don’t know how this stuff works, but I’m here for you. Whatever you need, take it. Come back to your people… come back to me…”
She closed her eyes and imagined the purple and blue magic swirling inside the ball going into Graham’s body. She imagined it was life-force, magic, that would bring him back to consciousness. In her mind, she pictured it flowing through him.
She didn’t open her eyes until she felt Graham touch her hand.
Graham's eyes opened, and he reached his hand out to Willow's face. She smiled and was moving to kiss him when he spoke in a gravelly voice. "Why are you turning blue?" His eyes widened, darting around her face until he looked down to see the orb in her hand. "What have you done?"
With weakness but determination, he struggled to sit up. Willow stepped back, sensing his frustration and knowing helping him wouldn't ease his mood. The monitor next to him started beeping, and the alarms went off, prompting the guards and doctor to run in.
“Excuse me, ma’am. We’re going to need you to exit.”
"Is he going to be okay?" Willow looked around, hoping someone would take pity on her enough to give her some information, but all she got was a guard escorting her out.
Willow held the orb in her hand and went into the hallway. The purple and blue magic that had swirled inside was gone, and it was now just cloudy.
Her attendant, Alma, walked up to her. "Miss, they're going to be a while. May I suggest you come with me to your room?"
"No," Willow said, simply. "I'm not going anywhere. He's awake because of me, and I'll sit here for however long they're in there with him."
The attendant seemed to want to argue. Willow was sure that Graham had said he didn’t want to see her, but what were they going to do?
Then Willow took pity on the woman. She was just trying to do her job. She agreed to go along with her.
Willow was whisked away before Graham could form coherent thoughts. He saw the orb and saw her skin changing. He knew what she'd done.
Who had told her to do that? Why would she?
He knew why. He would have done anything to save Willow if the roles had been reversed.
The doctors took his vitals, and his guards stood around watching him. When he grew tired of that, he pushed them away. “If you’re all done poking and prodding, I’ve got some business to attend to.”
“Sire, we really suggest you remain here and rest.”
“I appreciate your advice, but I’m feeling quite refreshed, thank you.”
Besides feeling like he was a little hungover, Graham’s body did feel refreshed. But he knew what price was paid for that.
He changed into the clothes left for him and then marched out of the hospital wing to where he knew Willow would be.
“Open up.”
She did so, looking surprised.
“What are you…”
He walked in past her, cutting her off. “You had no right to do this.”
She crossed her arms. “Actually, I have every right to do what I want with my life. If you should be mad at anyone, it should be the person who gave me the orb, the power to do this at all.”
He squinted his eyes, seeing her point. “Who gave you the orb?”
“Risa.”
He nearly growled. This has Mother’s meddling all over it. “Who gave Risa the orb?”
“No idea, one of the summoners. I don’t believe she got their name.” Willow crossed her arms and glared at him. “Nice to see you up and doing so well. You’d think I could get a ‘thanks’ or something.”
Graham’s temper grew with her unwillingness to focus on the seriousness of the situation. “Willow, have you looked in the mirror? Have you seen what you are now?”
She threw her hands up and walked to the mirror above the dresser. “Yeah, I have. I’m one of you. Is that so bad? I happen to like you. And I’m looking forward to venturing out into the ocean and using these new gills to breathe in water without shifting for the first time. It’s oddly satisfying.”
He had to step away from the reflection. It was too odd to see both of them blue and striped, standing next to each other, looking like a perfect pair. "And besides free swimming, what are your plans now? You gained some of our characteristics, but you're not a magic-wielder. You don't have glamour powers like we have, to disguise yourself. You can't go around blue-striped in the natural world."
She shrugged. “I guess you don’t watch a lot of makeup artists online. There’s a lot you can do with concealer.”
"I'm serious." His frustration was starting to fade though. Willow was a smart woman. She knew what this was, and she made valid points.
“So am I. From what I understand, it’s not unusual for a mate to leave here, so I assume it must be pretty normal for them to have to conceal their changes in a nonmagical
way.”
“No,” he shook his head, thinking of those who had come and gone, “those who leave don’t have anything to conceal. Not every mate turns like this. In fact, I’ve never known anyone who has successfully done what you have.”
“Oh.” Willow looked taken aback. “I just kind of figured it was a common thing.”
“No. It’s not.” Graham sat, putting his head in his hands. It was remarkable, Willow being able to use the orb on him. But so was what he did, pulling on the pack magic. The truth was they were a pretty perfect pair.
She sat across from him. “Tell me more. No one has really talked to me about it.”
Everyone had been so focused on him, and so happy for his recovery. Of course, they hadn't sent anyone who would explain things to Willow. He was sorry he hadn't gotten there sooner and lost his anger quicker. "A mate has to be in a magic-flushed state. I've never known that to happen to anyone. And the mate using the orb has to be strong enough to accept the change. If your body hadn't accepted it, you would have died."
“Yeah, I was warned about the death thing.”
“And you did it anyway?” The idea terrified him.
“Like you wouldn’t have?”
Graham sighed. She was right. “Fine… thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She gave him a little smile, and he felt the mood lift somewhat. “I think the real thing we have to talk about here is why you tried to push me away before. You told me we weren’t mates. Not gonna lie, it felt pretty crappy.”
He looked at her, feeling the guilt punch him in the stomach. “I didn’t want to trap you here.”
“You didn’t give me a choice. I deserved that much.”
"Sometimes, people make choices, to only find out later they made the wrong ones. I can't risk that. I have to focus on my duties."
"Graham, sure, that might happen to some people. People all over get divorced. It's not uncommon. But you're not giving yourself enough credit. Even if things did go wrong between us, you'd survive. You have to believe in your strength at least that much, that's the first step.