by Zack Zombie
Table of Contents
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday My Birthday!
Saturday MIddle Entry
Saturday Night Entry
Saturday Late Night Entry
Sunday Early Entry
Sunday Middle Entry
Sunday Night Entry
Monday
Find out what happens next!
Copyright © 2015 Zack Zombie Publishing LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This unofficial novel is an original work of fan fiction which is not sanctioned nor approved by the makers of Minecraft. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang Synergies AB, and its respective owners, which do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this book. All characters, names, places, and other aspects of the game described herein are trademarked and owned by their respective owners. Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2016 Mojang.
Monday
Just a few more weeks until Halloween, and I can’t wait!
Not just because it’s my favorite holiday.
It’s also my birthday!
I’m gonna be 13 years old.
Now, I know that’s not a big deal, especially since Zombies can live forever.
But it’s a big deal to me.
You see, being 13 means that I’ll be a teenager now.
And being a teen means I can get a little more respect around here.
…And I need it too.
Because you know, being a 12 year old noob in middle school can be pretty painful.
Especially because those wedgies are starting to leave some serious marks.
…Not to mention what getting thrown into the dumpster is doing to the shape of my head.
I only wish I could get more respect at home.
But I think my Mom and Dad are always going to treat me like a baby Zombie.
Like this morning, my Mom made my lunch for school...
Now, I know that doesn’t sound that bad.
But she always makes these mob baby cookies to let me know she loves me.
Talk about embarrassing.
When I open my lunchbox at school the other mob kids are always teasing me about it.
“What’s the matter wittle baby Zombie? Do you need a wittle milk to go with your cookies?”
Then the whole cafeteria starts laughing at me.
It seems like I have a sign that says “LOSER” painted on my forehead every time I open my lunchbox.
Not to mention the one on my back that says, “I WANT A BIG, FAT WEDGIE RIGHT NOW.”
Now I would throw the cookies away before I get to school.
But they taste really good.
…Especially with milk.
But being 13 has its perks.
Like, I’m supposed to get a raise in my allowance.
But knowing my Mom and Dad, it’s not going to be much.
Their rule is that I’m supposed to get a dollar for every year that I’m older.
So for my 13th birthday, I get…you guessed it…13 dollars.
There’s not much a Zombie can do with 13 dollars every month.
So I just spend it on what’s really important, like cake!
Now I know I should be saving up my allowance like a responsible young Zombie.
But with only 13 dollars, I can’t even afford to pay attention.
But it’s ok. The really cool thing about being 13 is that my Dad said that I could get a job.
So I don’t have to survive on a measly 13 dollars every month.
I’m going to get a job and get paid the real ‘Benjamins.’
I just have to figure out what I’m going to do for work.
Right now the only thing I’m really good at is collecting boogers.
But I hope I get some money for my birthday too.
If I do, I want to buy a new video game for my ScareStation 465.
My parents gave me a ScareStation 465 for winning the Spelling Bee last month.
And it’s awesome!
And there’s a new video game Steve told me about that I really want to get.
He said it’s called HALO 3000—Zombie Apocalypse Edition.
Sounds so cool! I can’t wait.
Speaking of my birthday, I need to come up with a really cool theme for my birthday party.
Since its Halloween, I usually have a Halloween party for my birthday.
But the Halloween parties my Mom and Dad put together are kind of lame.
They’re not scary at all.
Last year, we had a “My Little Zombie Pony” Halloween Party.
Everybody had to dress up like a Zombie Pony.
Lame.
This year I want to do something really scary. Something to tell the world that I’m a big Zombie now.
Like…a pool party!
Zombies really hate water, so that should give them a good scare.
But maybe I shouldn’t. I just remembered that my buddy Slimey is terrified of water. Especially after what happened to his uncle.
The pool of Death!
Or maybe I could do a skateboard party!
Naw… Knowing Skelee he’ll probably fall down and break a bone or something.
Maybe I could do a surprise party?
I could just act surprised when everybody jumps out.
Well, maybe not. I think that would be really bad for Creepy…and that would be really bad for the rest of us.
I got it!
We can do a Harry Potter party!
That movie really gave me the creeps.
Everybody can dress up like those really scary kids from Hogwarts.
We can ride around brooms, wave magic wands, and talk in English accents and stuff.
And I can dress up like Harry Potter. I just have to get a uniform, some glasses, and carve a lightning bolt on my head.
Wow, this is going to be the best birthday party ever!
Tuesday
Today, I went to see Steve to tell him about my birthday party idea.
I found him in the forest, and he looked like he was looking for something.
Perfect time to try out my new scaring skills, I thought.
So I snuck up behind him and...
‘HYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHUURRRGHHHZZZOOWWIIIIEEEE!!!!!’
‘Oh, hey Zombie.’
Man, I’m getting rusty.
‘Hey, Steve. Whatcha doing?’
“I’m just looking for a villager. Some of the folks in my village said that he went out to the forest to look for pumpkins and he never came back.”
“That’s weird.”
“Yeah, he’s been gone for a few days now.”
“No, I meant that it’s weird he went to look for pumpkins. I usually stay away from those things. Aren’t they dangerous?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when I was a baby Zombie, I used to really love pumpkin pie. But then my Dad said that if I eat too much pumpkin, then I’ll turn into one. Kind of like doughnuts.”
Steve just looked at me…confused.
“That is weird,” he said.
“But, hey Steve, I wanted to tell you about my birthday party idea.”
“Are you doing the ‘My Little Zombie Pony’ party again this year? Cause I got a really nice Rainbow Dash stick-on tattoo I want to wear,” Steve said snickering.
“Ha ha, not funny. Naw, this year I wanted to make it really, really scary. It’s going to be the scariest Halloween party ever. This year I’m doing a Harry Potter Party!”
Steve just looked at me…confused.
“Yeah, we’re going to carry books, wear uniforms, wave wands and everything.”
Steve still looked confused.
“And I’m going to be Harry Potter. By the way, how good are you at carving Zombie skulls?”
All of a sudden we heard a noise.
“Hey, I think that’s him,” Steve said.
When we looked through the trees, we saw a villager, but instead of a big head and long nose, this villager had a pumpkin on his head.
“Why is he running around crazy and waving his hands in the air like that?” I asked Steve.
“I don’t know, but I’ve got to bring him back to the village.”
“See, my Dad was right. I told you that if you eat too much pumpkin, you’ll turn into one.”
Steve had that confused look on his face again and said, “I’ll see you later, Zombie.”
Then the villager with the pumpkin head ran off, and Steve chased after him.
Villagers are so weird, I thought.
I’ve always wondered why Steve isn’t weird like them. Come to think of it, it’s kind of weird that Steve doesn’t have a long nose either.
Does Steve even have a nose?
Whoa.
Oh well, time to get some stuff together for my birthday party.
Oh man, I can’t wait!
Wednesday
Today at Scare School, we went on a field trip to the Mob Science Museum.
Every month they have a different theme. Usually it’s kinda lame, but sometimes they do some really cool stuff.
One time they talked about the science of ‘spontaneous combustion.’ Creepy really liked that one. Especially when they talked about how you can use Creeper poop to make cool fireworks.
Another time they talked about Skeletons. I thought Skelee would really like it. But he told me that the exhibit was lame compared to the crazy stuff he sees when he visits his relatives.
But this month’s theme was about Halloween.
They had an exhibit about the history of Halloween that I really liked.
It said that Halloween is the biggest national holiday for Minecraft Mobs everywhere. They even take a day off of work and close the schools to honor this special day.
But it said that human villagers don’t appreciate Halloween that much. They still have to work and go to school on Halloween.
Man, it must really stink to be a villager.
But my favorite part of the exhibit talked about the Science of Pumpkins.
It said that pumpkins were blocks that grow in most Overworld biomes.
Pumpkin!
I tried to find out if what my Dad said about turning into a pumpkin was true. But when I asked the Zombie lady giving the tour, she just gave me a strange look.
There was one thing she said at the end of the exhibit that seemed kinda weird though. She said…
About 500 years ago, a rare fungus infected all of the pumpkins in a small mob village. It caused all those mobs exposed to the fungus to lose all control and behave in an erratic and strange manner.
Those infected attacked and bit others, and the infection spread from village to village. It did not matter whether you were mob or human, all could be infected with the disease.
Those infected would be identified by their strange behavior and the distinct large pumpkin that spawned to cover their heads.
It has been theorized in scientific circles that this pumpkin fungus outbreak was the ultimate cause of the last Zombie Apocalypse…
Whoa!
She even showed us an old picture of one of the infected…
The Pumpkin Outbreak
Man, I’m glad I wasn’t around 500 years ago. That would’ve been so scaaaarryyy!
Anyway, all I care about right now is my birthday party, and how cool it is going to be.
Which reminds me, I need to start inviting the kids at school to my party.
I wonder if I should just invite the cool kids…
I mean, now that I’m going to be 13, I’m going to need a new set of friends to go with my new image, right?
Thursday
I started inviting some of the cool kids at school to come to my birthday party today.
But it was kind of weird that every time I asked any of them, they just started laughing.
I guess that means that they really want to be there.
I started thinking about Creepy, Skelee and Slimey.
Maybe I shouldn’t invite the guys this year, I thought.
You see, the guys are still only 12 years old.
And in school, a lot of the cool kids think they’re noobs.
But it would be kind of weird not having them at my birthday party.
I mean, they’ve been coming to my birthday party ever since I was a baby Zombie.
I remember first meeting Skelee at my 6th birthday party.
I was swinging a stick at my Ender Dragon piñata when I accidentally knocked Skelee’s head off.
I thought I was in big trouble until I saw that Skelee was laughing.
“What are you laughing at?” I asked him.
“I don’t know. I guess this is what it means to ‘laugh your head off,’” he said.
We’ve been best friends ever since.
I met Slimey at his cousin Cube’s birthday party.
He was really small back then.
I remember I couldn’t find a place to sit so I just sat on a little green table next to the bathroom.
I accidentally sat on Slimey by mistake.
Kid Slimey
We’ve been best buds ever since.
Meeting Creepy for the first time was really funny too.
Creepy was always quiet, and he got really nervous around other kids.
One day, in first grade, Skelee, Slimey and I went up to him and started talking.
He started hissing and flashing and stuff.
We didn’t know what he was doing, but we thought it was so cool.
I think he was surprised we didn’t run away, so he calmed down.
We poked him a few times to get him to start hissing and flashing again.
Yeah, we weren’t really smart back then.
But we’ve been best friends ever since.
Man, what am I thinking?
I need my best buds at my party no matter how old they are. And I don’t care how “uncool” the kids at school think they are.
All I know is that I can always count on my best friends to come and support me on my birthday.
Plus, if nobody else shows up, it won’t be so embarra
ssing.
Friday
The weirdest thing happened today.
After dinner, my Dad got a call from the Nuclear Waste Plant he works at. He said there was an emergency at the factory.
“Hey Dad, is everything all right?”
“No worries, son. I just need to head over to the plant. It seems like they had another accident in the Deadly Fungus Containment lab.”
Man, even though my Dad works in a Nuclear Waste Plant, he really makes his job sound so cool.
“When will you be back, honey?” Mom asked.
“Oh, it will just take a few hours, but don’t stay up.”
After Dad left, I started talking to Mom about all my plans for my birthday party.
“…And we’re going to have brooms, and wands, and books and uniforms and everything…”
“It sounds kind of expensive, Zombie. Are you sure you don’t want to come as a Zombie Pony like you did last year? I think your costume still fits.”
“No way, Mom. Plus, I’m looking for a job so that I can pay for it. You won’t have to pay for a thing.”
“Oh, OK. By the way, don’t forget that your father and I are going to be a little late for your party this year. We need to take your little brother Wesley and his friends out trick-or-treating. It’s our turn this year to take Wesley’s pre-school class trick-or-treating around the neighborhood.”
Awesome! I was counting on it.
You see, you can’t be cool and have your parents at your birthday party. So this was my chance to keep them from ruining it. I’ll just make sure the cool kids come early and leave before my parents get back.
“Don’t worry, Mom. Take as long as you want. Me and the guys will just play some video games until you and Dad get back.”