Zombie's Birthday Apocalypse

by Zack Zombie

  And I just felt…terrible.

  Sunday

  I went to go see Steve to talk to him about what happened with Mr. Jenkins.

  Something was telling me that I needed to go back and tell Mr. Jenkins the truth.

  Come to think of it, I felt like I needed to go back and tell my parents the truth too.

  But when I got to our usual hangout spot, Steve still wasn’t there.

  I checked all of the other places we hang out, but he wasn’t there either.

  I went by to see Alex again, except this time she wasn’t there either.

  Where is everybody? Was there a MineCon convention that I didn’t know about or something?

  I checked everywhere else I thought they could be and…nothing.

  Man, what’s going on?

  Monday

  “Zombie, we may be on time to your birthday party after all,” my Mom said.

  “Huh?”

  “Well, there’s a chance that Wesley’s preschool trick-or-treating trip will start an hour late. So, that means your Dad and I can be here when your friends start showing up for your birthday party.”

  Oh man, this is terrible. I can’t have my parents at my party when the cool kids from school show up!

  “Uh, are you sure, Mom?”

  “Well, I have to call Denise, Skelee’s Mom, tonight to confirm it.”

  My Mom was busy feeding Wesley so I thought I would volunteer and find out if all my plans were going to be totally ruined.

  “Mom, I can call Skelee’s house for you if you want.”

  “Sure, that would be great, dear.”

  I called over to Skelee’s house and Skelee answered.

  “Wassup, bro?”

  “Hey Zombie, what’s up?”

  “Hey, can you ask your mom if your little sister’s preschool trick-or-treating trip is going to be an hour late?”

  “Sure. Hold on… Hey, Mom! Is Tibia’s trick-or-treating trip going to start an hour late? Zombie’s Mom wants to know.”

  “Yes, it is!”

  “Yeah, Zombie, they’re going to start an hour late. Hey, does that mean that your parents are going to be there when your party starts?”

  “Uh, don’t remind me,” I said. Then I hung up.

  “Well, what did Denise say? Is the trick-or-treating trip going to start late?” my Mom asked.

  Everything inside me told me I should just tell my Mom the truth.

  But if my parents are here when all of the cool kids from school show up, they’re all going to laugh at me and call me a “baby Zombie noob” or something.

  “Uh… No, she said it’s still going to be on time,” I said.

  “Really? I was sure it was going to start an hour late. Oh Ok. So I guess we’re going to miss the start of your party. But you can take care of things until we get back, right, Zombie? Especially since you’re a big Zombie now. ”

  “Sure, no problem, Mom.”

  Well, I got what I wanted…

  …But, then why do I feel so bad about it?

  Tuesday

  Today, me and the guys went over to Ms. Ursula’s house to grab the clown and take it to my house for my birthday party.

  Since she wasn’t around, I figured she wouldn’t miss it.

  When we got to Ms. Ursula’s house, all her lights were off.

  I was thinking of knocking on her door to see if she was there. But I was too scared to walk past the terrifying monster clown that was hovering in front of her doorway.

  “Hey Skelee, why don’t you go knock and see if she’s there?”

  “No way. I heard that clowns love eating bones for breakfast. “

  “How about you, Slimey? You don’t have any bones.”

  “No way. I heard clowns love JELLO. And if you didn’t notice, I would make a really sweet midnight snack.”

  I was thinking of asking Creepy, but we all agreed that it probably wasn’t a good idea.

  “Why don’t you throw a few rocks at her window to see if she’s there?” Creepy suggested.

  “Good idea.”

  So I picked up a few cobblestone rocks from her driveway.

  Tick!

  After I threw the first rock nothing happened.

  “Maybe she’s hard of hearing,” Skelee said. “Throw a bigger one.”

  So I threw a bigger rock at her window.

  Tack!

  “She might be asleep, you know. You might need to wake her up,” Slimey said.

  So I picked up the biggest rock I could find.

  KRESSSHHH!!

  Ms. Ursula’s window broke into like a million pieces.

  “Oh man!”

  We all ran behind the bushes to hide.

  We waited to hear Ms. Ursula come running out of her house. But nothing happened.

  “Hey, I don’t think she’s there,” I said. “This is our chance to get the clown. Slimey, did you bring the sack?”

  “Yeah, I got it right here. I couldn’t find a sack so I just brought a pair of my Dad’s work pants.”

  Slimey’s Dad must be a big guy because those pants were huge.

  So we slowly walked up to the clown.

  But its beady little eyes were watching us every step of the way.

  I had to close my eyes as I walked up to it. It was just too terrifying to watch. I noticed that the other guys had their eyes closed too.

  We finally made it to the clown when suddenly we heard, “HE, HE, HE, HE, HE…”

  “RUN! THE CLOWN’S ALIVE!!!”

  The guys and I tried to run away but we all got caught in Slimey’s Dad’s workpants sack. We were all stuck in the sack and couldn’t get out.

  All we could hear was, “HE, HE, HE, HE, HE!”

  “AAAAAAAHHH!!!! WE’RE GONNA DIE!!! THE CLOWN’S GOING TO EAT US!!!”

  Then all of a sudden I felt a hand grab me by the collar and yank me out of the sack.

  “IT’S GOT ME! I’M A GONNER!”

  “What in tarnation are you boys doing?”

  When I stopped screaming, I opened my eyes and I saw that it was Old Man Jenkins.

  “Mr. Jenkins, save yourself! The clown’s going to eat us all!!!”

  Old Man Jenkins put his hand to his forehead and just shook his head like he usually does. Then he pulled out Skelee, Slimey and Creepy from the sack.

  “What are you boy’s talking about? This clown’s not real. It’s just ‘electronical,’ that’s all.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, watch.” Then Mr. Jenkins waved his hand in front of the clown and it said, “HE, HE, HE, HE, HE…”

  Me and the guys jumped behind Mr. Jenkins when the clown spoke.

  Then we all looked at each other.

  “PFFFFFTTTTT!!!!” was all we could say and then we burst out laughing.

  Creepy was hissing and flashing, but when we started laughing he calmed down.

  “What were you boys doing here anyway?” Mr. Jenkins asked.

  Everything inside me told me I should just tell Mr. Jenkins the truth.

  But if he tells my Mom and Dad what we were up to, I’ll be grounded for like a month. And then they won’t let me have my birthday party.

  “Uh… We were just walking by and we heard a scream,” I said. “We thought Ms. Ursula was being attacked by the clown monster. So we brought a sack to capture it and save Ms. Ursula.”

  All the guys looked at me with a surprised look.

  Mr. Jenkins lifted up what remained of one of his eyebrows. He looked around at the clown, the sack, the window and then at us.

  Then he said, “Well done, boy! It’s a good thing we have such heroic boys like you to protect everyone in this town.”

  Me a
nd the guys all looked at each other…surprised.

  “And I think that kind of bravery deserves a reward.”

  Mr. Jenkins dug into his saddle bag that was on Ed, his horse. Then he pulled out some Halloween candy he had just bought.

  “Here you go,” he said as he handed us each some candy.

  “Thanks, Mr. Jenkins,” we all said.

  “No, thank you boys, for being so brave,” he said.

  Then Mr. Jenkins walked away with Ed, his horse.

  And Ed turned and looked at us with a really sad look on his face.

  Then me and the guys all looked at each other.

  We unwrapped the candy and put it in our mouths.

  And we all felt…terrible.

  Wednesday

  “Did you see Jeff’s costume? It’s like soooooo scary!”

  That’s all I heard from a bunch of the kids at school today.

  “What’s your costume going to be, Zombie?”

  I know I should’ve just said that I haven’t got my costume yet.

  But then they’re going to think that I’m just a big fake, baby, phony, noob, I thought.

  “Oh man! My costume is the scariest, most hideous costume you’ve ever seen. I’m totally going to win the Scariest Costume Contest,” I said.

  “Really? What is it?”

  “Uh… It’s so scary that…err… There aren’t any words to describe what is!” I said.

  Some of the kids just gave me a strange look and walked away.

  Man, the Scariest Costume Contest is in just a few days.

  And I need to come up with a costume quick!

  And it’s got to be an awesome costume too. It’s the only way I can beat Jeff and win that $50 Zombies R Us gift certificate.

  But what am I going to do?

  C’mon think, Zombie, think!

  Thursday

  I got it!

  I was scrolling through my Mom’s camera and I remembered that I had the perfect costume all along.

  Since Wesley is not going to need his costume till Saturday, I think I’m going to borrow it for the Scariest Costume Contest tomorrow.

  I just have to figure out how to make it fit.

  Hmmm… A pair of scissors, some Duct Tape and some of Mom’s black tights should do the trick.

  After cutting and stretching, and taping, I finally finished.

  Now I just need to put it on and see what it looks like in the mirror…

  Just like I thought, awesome!

  Man, I’m gonna win that Scariest Costume Contest for sure!

  Friday

  Most of the kids came to school in their costumes today.

  It was weird. It looked like a scene from a scary movie I saw with Steve once.

  I think it he said it was called “The Wizard of Oz.”

  We had the big Halloween Party in the school gym.

  It was so cool.

  They had cookies and milk, and all sorts of games. They even redecorated the whole gym to look like a human village.

  Oooooh…so creepy.

  A lot of the kids were dressed like villagers.

  They looked so real I felt like sneaking up to them and scaring them.

  One kid even started talking like them…

  “Hurrr… Hurrr…” was all he said as he walked around.

  They even had a huge life-sized statue of an Iron Golem.

  Man that thing brought back scary memories…

  I didn’t wear my costume because I wanted to wait till the Scariest Costume Contest started to bring it out.

  So I went to get some milk and cookies and wait for the guys to show up.

  All of a sudden the scariest monster that I had ever seen jumped out from behind the curtains.

  “RRAAAAARRRRGGHHHH!”

  “AAAAAHHHH!!!!!”

  All the milk I drank went right through me.

  All of the other kids started laughing.

  “Ha, ha! I guess you’re not so brave after all!” Big Mouth Jeff said.

  “Wha… Is that you, Jeff?!!!”

  “I told you I had the scariest costume ever. That $50 gift certificate is going to be all mine.”

  Then he walked away and started scaring other kids.

  Man, Jeff’s costume was really scary. He might just win the contest. What am I going to do?

  Wow, I feel really bummed right now.

  Man, where’s Steve? I know that if he were here, he would know what to say to cheer me up.

  Hmmm…. Maybe I can make believe like he is here…

  I bet if I use my Steve voice I could think about what he would say…

  “Hey Zombie, what’s eating you?” I said in my best Steve voice.

  “Nothing, just maggots.”

  “No, I mean what’s wrong?”

  “I think I’m going to lose the Scariest Costume Contest and then I won’t be able to buy my Harry Potter costume.”

  “And if you don’t get your Harry Potter costume, what’s gonna happen?”

  “Then the cool kids at school will think my party is lame.”

  “What will your real friends think, Zombie?”

  “Oh those guys don’t care about that stuff. They just want to spend time with me and have fun with me at my party.”

  “Which is more fun? Looking good for the cool kids or spending time with your best pals?”

  “Whoa! Steve, you’re so deep.”

  “Yeah, I know… It’s because I have a big square head and I punch trees...”

  Wow, I feel a whole lot better. Who would ‘a thought that Steve could help me even though he’s not around?

  “ALL THE KIDS WHO ARE GOING TO ENTER THE SCARIEST COSTUME CONTEST, PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE STAGE,” the announcement said.

  Well, here’s my chance.

  So I went behind the back curtain to put on my costume. They started calling out names so that the kids could show off their costumes to the audience. I stayed behind the curtain until they called my name.

  “Linus Enderbottom.”

  “RAAARRR!”

  “Yeah!” the crowd cheered.

  “Lucy Zombironi.”

  “Hello!”

  “Yeah!” the crowd cheered.

  “Wilbur Ghast Tentacles.”

  “Walalalah!”

  “Whoa!” the crowd cheered.

  “Manny Festation.”

  “Boo!”

  “Yeah!”

  So far, it doesn’t sound like any of costumes are really scary. I guess that means it’s going be a battle between me and Jeff.

  “Rick Amortis.”

  “Uuuurrgghhh!”

  “Boooo! Lame! So unoriginal!”

  “Zack Zombie.”

  Well, here goes nothing...

  “Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!” I yelled in my best human baby voice.

  “Gasp! Huh! Oh! Gulp!”

  The audience got quiet. All of the kids and teachers just stared with their eye sockets wide open.

  Then all of a sudden…

  “YEEAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

  All the kids and teachers started clapping and cheering for my costume.

  Oh man, I think I’m gonna win!

  “And our last contestant is Rupert Jeffery Carcass the Third…”

  “RRRAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!”

  “AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Run for your lives! It’s the Zombie Apocalypse!”

  All the kids and teachers started running and screaming all over the place. Some of the kids knocked over the tables, and food was flying through the air.

  “Attention, Attention students! It’s OK, it is only a costume!” the principal said.

&n
bsp; Then all of the kids and teachers came out of their hiding places.

  “Well, Jeffrey, I guess it is obvious that you have the scariest costume in the whole school. So I’m happy to announce that you are the winner of our annual Halloween Scariest Costume Contest.”

  “Yeah!” All of the kids cheered for Jeffrey as he got his trophy and his $50 Zombies R Us gift certificate.

  I was a little sad that I didn’t win the contest and get the gift certificate.

  But you know, I really didn’t feel that bad about it.

  “Hey Zombie, cool costume,” Skelee said. “Are you going to wear that at your party tomorrow?”

  “I guess I am,” I said.

  “That’s great. I was thinking of wearing a costume tomorrow that might be scarier than yours. Check it out.” Skelee showed me a picture of his costume.

  “Whoa! That’s terrifying.”

  “Yeah, Slimey and Creepy have some really scary costumes too,” Skelee said. “We can’t wait for your party tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, it’s going to be the scariest party ever.”

  Me and the guys all laughed. Then we filled up on more cookies and milk.

  Saturday

  My Birthday!

  Happy Birthday, Me!

  That’s right. Today’s my birthday. October 31st, Halloween.

  And now I’m 13 years old.

  It’s funny because I don’t feel any older.

  I thought I would check myself out in the mirror to see if I grew a mold mustache overnight or something.