Your mindset.
Your outlook.
Your wants.
Your needs.
Now, my only goal is to make her happy.
"I can't believe you did this," she says excitedly. "How?"
"Carter helped, a few favors with the school, and then I ordered all your favorites from every restaurant we've been to for the past couple months." I reach over and take her hand in mine. "I just wanted something to show you how special you are."
"Jace."
I lie down on the blanket, propping myself up on my elbow, and look around. "The time I spent here, I thought I had everything. I mean, Carter and I practically ran this school. But one thing I wish I could change is us."
She listens carefully, not interrupting for a second as I take the advice Carter gave me almost two years ago. I should've listened to it then. I won't make that mistake now.
"If I had a re-do button, I would have told you how I felt about you from the start," I confess. "The first time I saw you, you took Carter's skateboard and told him to fuck off when he said you were going to fall. You were so fearless, and I couldn’t stop watching you. Fuck, Paige, you didn’t fall, but I did. Maybe not that day. Maybe not that week, even. But one day I looked at you, and it’s like everything changed. All I wanted was to be around you. To be the center of your attention at all times. But I got scared. You were my best friend, and I didn't want to ruin that, so I didn't try anything. Convinced myself it was never going to happen.
"Halfway through senior year, you got your acceptance into SCU, and I already knew I was going to Florida State. We were going to be on opposite sides of the country. For the first time since we were kids, I wasn't going to be around you every day, and that scared the hell out of me.
"The thought started setting in that I would never really know what could happen with us if I didn't try. And so, the night of our first kiss, I got super drunk and got up the courage to at least flirt with you a little."
She lets out a giggle. "I thought you had just run out of girls to sleep with."
I shake my head. "No. I had no intention of sleeping with you that night. Though I probably wouldn't have stopped you from initiating it."
After smacking me in the arm, she leans over and kisses me. I cup her face as my mouth moves with hers, and I know nothing is ever going to change this for me.
"You need to know that you were never just someone I was having a good time with, or using to pass the time," I tell her honestly. "I'll admit, I was really hurt when you ghosted me, and I convinced myself that I hated you. But after hearing why you did it, I realized it was no one's fault but my own, because I should have told you. I should've manned up and told you that we were something more than a hookup. So, I'm telling you now.
"You and I both have a lot going on, but I want to say it now, so you know. I'm yours, Paige. Today, tomorrow, and always. I know we both agreed that we weren't ready for a relationship right now, and I respect that. But I just want you to know that when you're ready, I'm all yours."
As she blinks, a tear escapes and slides down her face. She takes a deep breath before a wet laugh bubbles out of her.
"I thought I was just some stupid girl with one-way feelings for a boy who would never feel the same about me."
I smile up at her, and pull her down into me. "Not even close, babe."
At some point in every relationship, you reach that nerve-wracking time where you need to meet the parents. Now, it may be different for me, because I've known Jace's family since I was little, but I've never known them as my boyfriend's parents. Sure, we never really defined it, but I don't think there is a better word for him than that, so I'm going with it.
A few days ago, his mom called and asked if he would come to dinner. Apparently, he’s spent most of the time he’s been back here avoiding them as much as possible. I understand why he did it at the time, but there’s no reason for it now. I stood firm and told him he has to go, and it backfired right in my face when he said he would, but only if I came with him.
"What are you so nervous about?" Jace teases from the driver's seat.
I huff as I try to settle down. "I don't know! It just feels different this time."
He reaches over and covers my hand with his own while the other stays on the steering wheel. "You're going to be fine. They already love you."
"No. They love the version of me that used to ride bikes with you and laugh at your stupid boy jokes." I turn to look out the window and watch as we pull into his development. "Things are different now."
"I tried to change my password to penis, but it said it was too short."
A loud cackle bellows out of me involuntarily. Jace smiles proudly and shrugs.
"See? You still laugh at my stupid boy jokes. Nothing is different."
He pulls the car into the driveway. All the lights in the house are on, and it feels just as homey as it always has, but my nerves are still off the charts. Jace climbs out of the car and comes around to my side, opening the door for me and helping me out.
With my fingers laced with his, the two of us make our way inside. The scent of whatever the chef is cooking for dinner wafts through the house, and it smells delicious. Before I have a second to get a handle on myself, though, Jace leads us out of the foyer and into the living room. Jace's parents and his little brother are all sitting on the couch, and it looks like they're going over Brax's report card.
"I just don't understand how you manage to get a D in English," Mr. London says. "It's the language you speak!"
Jace chuckles. "No. He speaks little punk. There's a difference."
All their heads turn to us, and both his parents' eyes light up. His mom gets up and comes to hug us both hello while his dad watches on happily.
"Paige," his mom coos. "It's so good to see you again."
"It's good to see you, too," I tell her honestly. "It's been a long time."
"That it has." She turns to her son and places an over-exaggerated kiss on his cheek, leaving a lipstick mark. "You look good. Better."
He looks over at me and smiles. "I feel better."
Brax narrows his eyes at both of us. "Wait. You were just holding hands. Are you two..."
A light blush coats my cheeks as Jace starts laughing and looks down.
"I fucking knew it!" Brax yells as he leaps to his feet. "I so called that shit!"
"Braxton! Language," Mrs. London scolds him.
He stops immediately and sits down. "Sorry, Mom."
"It's no wonder you're almost failing English, with that mouth."
Despite the fact that Brax is almost eighteen, he has always been a mama’s boy. It's actually rather adorable, but it's the last thing you would expect with how he acts otherwise.
Mr. London snickers. "She told you."
She turns around and lightly smacks her husband across the back of the head. "You're not much better. I hear you when you're watching football. Where do you think he learned it from?"
"Ha-ha," Jace teases, but the second she whips her head back over to him, the smile drops right off his face and he shields his head.
She looks over at me and sighs playfully. "I hope for your sake you never end up with all boys."
"You and me both."
DINNER ENDS UP GOING surprisingly well. I don’t even know what I was nervous about in the first place. Jace’s parents have never been the kind to judge. They would look at me the same way no matter if I’m their son’s friend, girlfriend, or wife, even.
After we all finish eating, Jace, Brax, and Mr. London all go back into the living room while his mom and I stay at the table. She watches her family leave the room with a loving smile on her face before turning to me.
“I don’t know how you did it,” she says.
My brows furrow. “I’m sorry?”
I’ve known Mrs. London since I was ten and I got my pigtails stuck in her rose garden, but I’ve never seen her look at me the way she is now. There’s something more to it. Somethin
g that makes me feel less like an outcast and more like family.
“He’s different with you.” She glances over to make sure he isn’t coming back. “I honestly thought he would never be the same again after what happened, but tonight, I saw a side of him I haven’t seen in months.”
Looking down, I try to hide my blush. “I didn’t do much of anything.”
“Sure, you did,” she tells me honestly. “I’m not sure how, but I firmly believe you played a key part in saving my son’s life, and I can never thank you enough for that.”
I don’t know what to say. The words are stuck, jumbled with the lump growing in my throat when I think about how far Jace has come just in the last couple weeks. Mrs. London gets up from her chair and walks around the table, so she has to pass by me. She puts her hand on my shoulder and smiles.
“You’re good for him, Paige, and I’m glad you two finally see that you need each other.”
I'M SITTING IN MY room, working on finishing up an assignment I have due. Jace has another therapy appointment, and I'm glad he's going. From what he's told me, he's finally starting to open up to her, and I'm hopeful that it'll really help him. I may not know most of what he's been through, but if it was bad enough to turn him to drugs, it's definitely something he needs to deal with.
The doorbell rings, but I don't make a move to get it. My mom is already downstairs, and this assignment is due tomorrow at noon. Sure, I could put it off for a bit, but since I don't have any plans now, I'd rather just get it done.
"Paige!" My mom calls. "It's for you!"
That's weird. I'm not expecting anyone. Unless, maybe Jace got out of his appointment early for some reason? To be honest, I hope that's not the case, because that would mean he ended it early intentionally. Things have been going so well.
"Tell Jace to just come up here!" I shout back.
If I'm going to need to deal with this tonight, I better get this thing done as soon as possible. The last thing I want is to risk him relapsing. My mind goes through all the possible scenarios that could have happened. Maybe she tried to force him to talk about what happened in Tallahassee? I mean, I saw firsthand what that did to him when Carter did it. Or maybe she just had a family emergency and needed to leave early?
My bedroom door opens, and I don't even look up from my computer—that is, until the voice I hear is not my boyfriend's.
"Couldn't even come to the door to greet me? Rude."
I whip my head up to find my best friend standing there, looking every bit like the comfort I've been craving for the last few months. It only takes me a second before my computer is damn near thrown off my lap, and I'm scrambling off my bed to get to her. I run into her arms with such force it knocks us into the hallway. She chuckles and hugs me just as tightly.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask in disbelief.
Becca shrugs and smiles brightly. "You didn't honestly expect me to miss your birthday, did you?"
My face drops instantly, and all I can do is stare back at her. Being as we're so connected, she starts to laugh and pinches the bridge of her nose.
"You forgot your own birthday."
"I've had a lot going on!" I argue.
Leveling me with a look, she follows me into my bedroom. "It's your twenty-first birthday, Paige. We've been talking about this for as long as I can remember!"
I throw myself onto my bed and shut my computer. Now that I have Becca here, it can definitely wait. I think I only have fifteen minutes left of work to do on it anyway.
"I know, but everything has been a total shitshow. I'm not even kidding."
She sits cross-legged on the desk chair across from me. "Yeah, I'm gathering that. I thought you were breaking up with Jace. I take it you didn't?"
I shake my head. "I didn't have to. He chose me."
"Chose you?"
"Yeah. I mean, it took a week to get him clean, but he did it. He's actually at a therapy appointment right now."
Putting a hand up, she stops me. "Wait. Drugs? Therapy? What the hell has happened since I left this place?"
I sigh as the weight of everything rests heavily on me. "I wish I knew the answer to that. I really do."
"He hasn't told you?" she asks.
"No," I reply. "He's not able to talk about it yet. From what Carter has told me, and what I've heard him talk about in his sleep when he's having a nightmare, it was pretty fucking traumatic, though."
She drops her head and looks down at her hands, fiddling with the sleeves of her hoodie. It's something she always does when she's trying to convince herself to keep her mouth shut. But what she should realize is that I can always see right through it.
"Spit it out," I tell her.
Her eyes roll. "No, because you're only going to get mad."
"I won't. I promise."
Taking a breath, she comes to sit next to me and rests her head on my shoulder. "I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to lose yourself trying to save him. And with everything you have going on right now, I'm just not sure if Jace London is a good idea for you right now."
I get her apprehensions. I do. Becca watched as I was head over heels for him, and he only looked at us as a good time, not a long time. Granted, he explained the other day how that wasn't the case, but for Becca, it was. And she saw how much it broke me when we left for college without him trying to define our relationship.
"I love you for worrying about me," I say honestly. "And I get it. But I also know how I feel when I'm around him, and how he feels about me. We're not just friends and fooling around this time. It's for real."
She sits up and looks at me like I've gone crazy. "He just started recovering from a drug addiction, Paige. Did you hear that? Drug. Addiction. I'm not sure he's even ready for anything real right now."
I shrug. "Maybe he is, maybe he's not. But I also know I'm not going to leave him if he's given me no reason to." My bottom lip juts out in a pout. "Just give him a chance. Please? I'll love you for it."
"You love me anyway."
"I'll love you more."
She scoffs. "That's not possible. You already love me as much as humanly possible."
"Becs!" I whine.
"Okay, fine," she caves. "But you can't get mad if he doesn't win me over. I never have been that fond of Jace, and you know that."
Grinning triumphantly, I wrap my arms around her. "Deal."
I SPEND THE NIGHT with Becca, and so it's nice to feel this close to her again. Jace was really understanding when I told him that Bec surprised me for my birthday, though he did laugh at the fact that I forgot. Apparently, he remembered this whole time, and was just waiting to see if I mentioned it. Jerk.
The next morning, I wake up to my room absolutely filled with pink balloons, and two giant gold ones in the middle. 21. The fact that I'm legally able to drink now is insane to me. Though it doesn't do me much good. The only other one my age is Carter. Jace doesn't turn twenty-one for another three weeks, and Becca still has four more months. Not that being underage has ever stopped either of them from drinking.
"Happy Birthday!" my mom and Becca singsong as they carry in a donut with a lit candle in it.
I close my eyes and make a wish before blowing it out. It may never come true, but a girl can dream, can't she?
"Okay, open my present first," Bec says, handing me an envelope.
My brows furrow as I peel it open and pull out the contents. It's two plane tickets to The Bahamas for next year. She giggles as she snatches the other ticket away from me.
"You got me a vacation?" I ask, amused.
She smirks. "Damn right, I did. Lord knows you need one. And correction, I got us a vacation."
"Of course you did."
Leave it to her to buy me a birthday present that benefits the both of us. Becca's parents are wealthy, as are all the families that send their kids to Haven Grace Prep, but they don't spoil her like most. Instead, Becca has grown up with an allowance and a spending limit. So, if she got her parents�
� permission to spend a lot of money on my birthday, I'm not surprised that she cashed in on it, too.
Still, going on vacation with my best friend seems like a damn good idea to me.
"I love it. Thank you."
I give her a hug and sit back down to start eating the donut when my mom hands me another gift.
"Don't you have enough on your plate?" I softly chastise her.
She nudges me with her elbow. "Too much to get my daughter a birthday present? Your father would divorce me."
I chuckle, mainly because she's right. My dad always treated my birthday like a whole national holiday. He even hired people when I was ten to put on a parade down our street. Half my friends thought it was the coolest thing ever, while the other half were jealous. But me? I was just happy to get a princess tiara.
"Where is Dad?" I'm half surprised he isn't yelling at my mom to bring him here.
She tries to hide her worry, but I can see it on her face. "He's still sleeping. He had a bit of a rough night last night."
I tilt my head to the side as I pull the wrapping paper off the small box. "Why didn't I wake up to it?"
"Because she had soundproofing put against the walls in their bedroom," Becca tattles.
"Rebecca," my mom scolds.
She gives her an apologetically sweet smile. "Sorry."
I'm definitely going to address the fact that she's once again trying to shield me from things, but for now, I'm wondering what in the world is in this box. It's small, and light, but even the wrapping paper looks expensive. And there hasn't been one year of my life where my parents have gone easy for my birthday.
I lift the lid off the box to find a key fob inside with a Mercedes logo on it. My eyes widen as I look at it.
"You didn't."
Becca starts jumping up and down. "They did!"
Not caring at all that I'm in my pajamas, I run out of my room and down the stairs with Becca and my mom trying to keep up. The second I get out the front door, I see a white Mercedes GLC sitting in the driveway with a massive pink bow on it. It's absolutely gorgeous, with a tan leather interior.
Change My Game: An Emotional Second Chance Romance (North Haven University Book 2) Page 15