“I want to make love with you slowly, savoring every touch, every kiss,” he gasped. “And yet . . .”
With one long arm he turned back the covers on the bed, then twisted her onto the smooth sheets and came down with her, his body crushing into hers as she’d desired, his kisses ravishing her sense and her senses. Her hands clawed with need, wanting to meld them together, and her legs separated in a silent plea that they join.
A plea he answered without words, only a long, desperate groan as he entered her welcoming body. She bit his shoulder to express the fierceness of their coupling, then shattered under the touch of his clever fingers, all sensation and a fire so intense she was barely aware when he withdrew. They culminated together but not joined, and she had just enough awareness to feel a distant thread of regret.
They had shared almost everything she desired.
For now, almost would have to be enough.
CHAPTER 27
As Lucas lay with Kendra in his arms, he wondered if his heart might actually explode in his chest. But no, it was slowing down to a more normal pace, along with his breathing. He murmured into her tangled hair, “Slow savoring wasn’t a very reasonable plan, was it?”
She laughed and the rich fullness of her magnificent breasts pulsed against him. “Not when there was so much pent-up desire on both sides. But the night is young. Who knows what might happen before I must slip back to my room so we can be found alone in our own beds?”
“I think the night still holds interesting possibilities, but in the morning, we must return to decorum,” he said gravely. “If we are to publicly confront Denshire with his sins, you must do so as a virtuous woman. If you are known to have a lover, your quest for justice will turn into a public pillorying of you. It would be ugly, perhaps even uglier than the initial divorce.”
After a long silence, she said, “I know you’re right. I want to have the high ground so I can condemn Denshire to the gutter. But even if I stand unsullied on that high ground with my sword of justice upraised—what if it makes no difference? What if Denshire merely resumes his assaults on my fortune and his claims that he owns Christopher and I have no rights in my own family? What if the Archbishop of Canterbury can’t or won’t lift a hand to help me? What then?”
He sighed and skimmed his hand along the smooth arc of her back. “I don’t think you’ll be any worse off in terms of your status, though you will almost certainly feel emotionally shattered at first. I can bring a bill accusing Denshire of criminal fraud in the House of Lords as I suggested before. I don’t know if there is any legal recourse beyond that.”
She slid her fingers into his hair, petting him like a cat. “Have you ever thought about living with me openly and be damned to the consequences?”
He had considered it, and the prospect was as alluring and dangerous as Eve’s apple: to have her companionship in bed and out, but to be disdained by most of society; to have children who were bastards. “I’ve thought about it. I would prefer better for both of us.”
“So would I.” She sighed. “We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to make do with what we can get.”
“That’s one of life’s most necessary lessons, and one of the hardest.”
After a long silence, she said, “I’ve been thinking about my grand confrontation with my former husband at the Duchesses’ Ball. Part of me wants to hurl my words like arrows into his arrogant, angry face, but I don’t know if I would do that well. I might lose my temper and turn into a screaming fishwife. Even if I don’t, will a woman be listened to as carefully as a man?”
He frowned. “The story is yours, and surely you’re the best qualified to tell it.”
“Perhaps, but I might be considered a weak, whiny woman. Would you present my case? You have a beautiful speaking voice, and as a man you’ll be listened to.”
He was silent for long moments. “My reputation is not unsullied. My dishonor might reflect on you.”
“But who better understands my situation?” After a silence of half a dozen heartbeats, she added almost inaudibly, “Who else can I trust as much?”
Simon could be trusted with anything, but he hadn’t been at Kendra’s side through her difficult journey. “I suppose that could be considered an extension of my bodyguard services. But it might reinforce the idea that we’re lovers.”
“People will think that anyhow,” she said with a slight laugh. “But they won’t have proof.”
“Gossips don’t need proof. In fact, it gets in the way of their enjoyment.” He gave his head a quick shake. “Very well, I will speak for you but you must also be there and be prepared to chime in as necessary. We can work out in advance what needs to be said, and what witnesses we’ll have present. But you realize that no matter how carefully we consider the possibilities, events are likely to turn in a direction we’ve never considered.”
“I know you’re right, but considering possibilities will fill in the time while we wait.”
“A fortnight of worry won’t be of much aid. I intend to go to Lady Kirkland’s infirmary and help as many people in pain as will hold still to let me treat them,” he said firmly. “I suggest you go to Zion House and start working with small children who are eager to learn. Turning one’s mind to the troubles of others is a good way to put one’s own troubles into perspective.”
“You’re absolutely right. I’ll go to Zion House,” she said. “I’ll also cross swords with the Fencing Females at Angelo’s Academy. I’ll write discreet letters to my children so they’ll know they aren’t forgotten. But all that begins tomorrow.” She raised her face and kissed his throat. “The rest of this night belongs to us.”
“Let’s not waste another moment of it,” he murmured.
They didn’t.
* * *
Kendra was still feeling buoyant when they drove away from the Westerfield Academy the next morning. “I like knowing that I’ll be coming back here regularly for years to come.”
Lucas was guiding the horses around the turn onto the London road, but he gave her a quick glance. “The school and estate both feel warm and welcoming, don’t they? It’s good that Lady Agnes intends to keep the school fairly small so that all her students can receive the attention they need. If the school became too large, it would change its personality.”
Kendra nodded. “I’m glad she found a place for Christopher so quickly. She was right that by this morning he’d be adjusted to the school. He was chattering so happily about his roommate Bobby and his big brother Benjamin and the other Hawks that I don’t think he’ll miss me at all.”
Lucas smiled. “You want him to be happy and making friends and learning, but I suspect that there’s a small maternal part of you that regrets the fact that he doesn’t need you as much as he did.”
“You’re exactly right,” she said ruefully. “Christopher has been the center of my life since he was born. Now I’m trying to accept gracefully the fact that he’s moving into his own life and I am less important to him.”
“You’re his mother and will always be important to him. Don’t forget that he made his way half the length of Britain to find you,” Lucas pointed out. “And remember that as he becomes more independent, you will have more freedom to move into a new life for yourself.”
Yes, but what would her new life look like? She’d have a better idea after the Duchesses’ Ball. She studied Lucas’s calm, rather enigmatic profile and wondered uncomfortably if he would be part of her future. The first night they’d spent together she’d said she would like to have a child with him, which was true but perhaps something that shouldn’t have been said at that time. And during their second splendid night just hours ago, she’d asked if he’d ever considered living with her without marriage.
In the clear light of day, she realized that she’d said too much, too soon. For all his kindness and perception, she wasn’t sure what Lucas really thought of her. He seemed to enjoy her company and he was certainly attracted to her. She also kne
w that having committed himself to helping and protecting her, he’d stand by her no matter what the consequences to his own life.
But if she was never legally able to marry, would living with her be too high a price for him to pay? Since they had become lovers, he would probably consider himself honor bound to stay with her.
Yet doing so would mean he wouldn’t have a legitimate son to inherit his title. If Camden Keep was entailed, a natural-born son wouldn’t be able to inherit it.
He would also be depriving himself of the chance to find a woman whom he could love wholeheartedly, as Simon and Suzanne loved. There were many things that bound Kendra and Lucas together, but she wasn’t sure that a deep and lasting mutual love was one of them.
She bit her lip, reminding herself that once more she was worrying about things that hadn’t happened yet, and that might never happen. After the Duchesses’ Ball, she should have a clearer sense of her future.
She hoped so. And if that meant freeing Lucas to live the life he truly wanted—well, she’d try to have the strength to do that with grace and gratitude.
In the meantime . . . “When we’re back in London, I’ll send Lady Kirkland a note to find out when it would be convenient for me to come and see if I can make myself useful.”
“If you work with small children, try to teach them how not to break their bones and dislocate their joints so they need me!” Lucas said fervently.
She laughed. “I’ll do my best.”
Because that was the most one could ever do.
CHAPTER 28
Kendra and Lucas were relieved to find that there had been no dramatic events during the time they were away from London. Denshire hadn’t appeared again at Thorsay House, for which the Browns were grateful, and Suzanne informed them that plans for the Duchesses’ Ball were going well. Denshire had sent his acceptance immediately and was surely pleased to be invited.
A note to Lady Kirkland brought a return note suggesting the next morning as a good time for Kendra to come to Zion House for a tour and to determine where Kendra would best fit in. Because Lucas was also going there to hold a clinic for patients with bone and joint problems, they traveled over together.
Zion House had a separate entrance from the infirmary, and it also had guards with military experience to keep the peace in case an angry husband came to try to drag his wayward wife home. A brisk older woman led them to Lady Kirkland’s office.
“Oh, good, Kendra!” Lady Kirkland said as she stood up from her desk. “You’re just in time to save me from having to go over the month’s accounts.”
Kendra laughed. “I’m happy to rescue you, Laurel! Do you spend most of your days working here?”
“No, the regular staff is very capable so I’m usually here two or three mornings a week just to keep an eye on things.” The countess grinned. “Shall I start with the general house tour, or shall I take you right upstairs to the children’s school?”
“The children, please!”
Lucas smiled, knowing that would be Kendra’s answer. “I’ll leave you to learning the ways of Zion House while I go to the infirmary for a jolly morning setting bones.”
Laurel chuckled. “You sound very like my brother when he has a day of surgery ahead of him. Enjoy yourself!”
“I will. Kendra, I’ll see you later.” Bonesetting kit in hand, Lucas headed for the infirmary, but before going to the clinic, he decided to visit the apothecary, Mrs. Simmons.
He found her whistling cheerfully as she worked on sorting dried herbs to use in one of her medications. She looked up at his entry and got to her feet, wiping her hands with a towel. “Lord Foxton! Have you come to check up on your drunken raisins? I set the gin and raisins in a warm place so the gin would evaporate quickly and I could test them.”
He grinned. “I came to say hello. But since you raised the subject, have the raisins been helpful?”
“They have!” She flexed the fingers on her right hand. “With just a few days of use, the pain is in a fair way to be gone. I also tried the raisins on some of my regular patients who have bad arthritis. I gave it to six people besides me. Three had good results, two thought there was some benefit, and the last one said the raisins didn’t help his joint pain, but he was willing to test different kinds of gin to see what worked best.”
“That sounds similar to results I’ve seen. I’m glad you’re one of the people who has had the best result,” Lucas said. “As for testing the gin, I’ve found others who volunteered to do the same thing.”
“They can buy their own gin! But I’ll be offering the drunken raisins to other arthritis patients, and I thank you for the remedy,” the apothecary said. “Have you had time to write out your best salve recipes?”
With all that had been happening lately, he hadn’t. “Not yet, I’ve been traveling. But I will,” he promised.
“Now it’s time for me to go down to the infirmary and see if any bones need rearranging.”
“Because you let them know yesterday when you’d be coming in, I’m sure there will be several patients waiting for you.” Dismissing Lucas, Mrs. Simmons returned to sorting her dried herbs.
Downstairs in the infirmary reception area, Lucas was welcomed by a male assistant named Reg, who escorted him to a treatment room where a woman with a broken wrist was waiting. The assistant stayed to help with the next several patients who came in with bone and joint problems. Lucas was able to help them all, which made for a satisfying morning.
They ran out of patients just before noon, and Reg left to work elsewhere. Lucas was thinking about going in search of Kendra when a tall, fair-haired man around his own age entered the room. He was dressed as a gentleman and didn’t have any obvious injury, and he bore a distinct family resemblance to Lady Kirkland.
Rising, Lucas asked, “Are you Lord Romayne, Lady Kirkland’s brother?”
“I am indeed.” The newcomer offered a hand. “I’ve been away from London, but now that I’m back, I wanted to meet you, Foxton. I hear good things about your work.”
Lucas shook hands, but said self-deprecatingly, “I’m pleased to meet you, but I’m a mere bonesetter. You, I understand, are a surgeon, physician, the infirmary’s medical director, and I believe an ordained minister?”
Romayne laughed and sat in one of the chairs. “Guilty as charged, but credentials don’t mean much when a man is in agony from a serious joint injury and it’s beyond my ability to fix. I can take care of simple dislocations, but I’m told you’ve successfully treated more complex problems. According to my sister, you learned your trade traveling with a Belgian Franciscan friar?”
“Yes, Frère Emmanuel came from a family that had been bonesetters for generations.” Lucas took his seat again. “He taught me what he knew, and I gather that some of his techniques aren’t well known here.”
Romayne frowned. “Personally, I think the more we share medical knowledge, the better for everyone, but bonesetting families are famously protective of their secrets. Would you consider teaching others your techniques?”
“The idea has crossed my mind,” Lucas admitted, “but I haven’t known quite where to start.”
“I can help with that,” Romayne said. “I never thought to inherit a title. I was a rather distant cousin to the heir, and when I inherited, I resented the fact that managing estates would cut into my medical practice. I’ve since realized the advantages of money and influence and I’ve founded cottage hospitals in several towns. Each also trains nurses. The program has been quite successful, so I can help you organize training for your bone work.”
“I like that idea,” Lucas said. “I was out of England for some years and I’m now trying to figure out how to arrange my time to take care of my responsibilities and still be able to do healing work. Working as a bonesetter and also teaching sounds very rewarding.”
Romayne grinned. “I married a woman experienced in estate management. I suggest you do the same. It will leave you more time to treat those in need of your particular
skills.”
“I may do that,” Lucas said, though it might not be possible to marry the woman he knew who had those skills. “I’m planning to arrange my work here at regular times so people who need my skills will know when to come in.”
Romayne nodded. “That would be best. You’re a very welcome addition to this infirmary, Lord Foxton.” He pulled out his watch and checked the time, then stood. “Sorry, I have to leave now. But I look forward to talking to you more.” He smiled in a way that was very like his sister’s. “And to taking full advantage of your abilities.”
Lucas also stood. “Easy to see that you and Lady Kirkland are brother and sister!”
“Yes, but we only exploit people for very good reasons. Until next time.” Then Romayne was gone. Lucas suspected that they were going to become good friends. But now it was time to find Kendra.
* * *
The nursery and children’s classes were on the top floor of the sprawling building. “Zion House is larger than I expected,” Kendra observed as Laurel led her up the stairs and then the length of the building.
“Yes, we were fortunate to be able to buy this warehouse and modify it to suit our needs. It’s built in the shape of a large hollow rectangle. Originally that was for secure storage, but we were able to put a garden inside so our residents can go outdoors in safety.” She paused at a window and gestured outside. “See?”
Kendra looked down at the colorful rectangle that was surrounded on all sides by Zion House. There were paths and benches, trees and flowerbeds rioting with spring blooms. There was even a small playing field at one end where a group of children were running around. “How perfect! A safe place where everyone can get sunshine and fresh air. How many residents do you have?”
“Usually around a hundred but the number varies. Many come here in transition, often women who have left abusive men and brought their children with them. We have different kinds of classes for those who need job skills. Once they’re trained, we help them find work. A few stay on and become staff members.”
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