Loving Her Softly

by Joshua Mumphrey

  I suddenly understood, staring into her eyes why she felt she was a monster, why she felt she had nothing without her outer shell. Connor had apparently, over the span of their relationship, put so much weight upon her physical appearance he neglected to notice the things that actually mattered to his wife-to-be. I’m sure she has dreams and ambitions for herself, but how can she reach them, when the only person who promises to love her forever breaks them into a million little pieces?

  If I were Connor, I’d do better by her, but unfortunately she isn’t mine. The choice isn’t mine to make.

  “No,” she says, “I haven’t given him an answer, but he said to give it some time and that he’s sure I will eventually come around. The wedding is in full force and he plans for it to go off without a hitch.”

  I sit silently for a moment.

  “Out of all this time you’ve been here,” I ask, “Why haven’t I saw him? Has he not visited you?”

  She shakes her head.

  “He’s spoken with my doctor and they assure him that I’m fine now,” she tells me. “I suppose he thinks it’s not anything to miss work over if I’m OK. His work always seems to matter more than I do to him, but that’s the lifestyle of a true businessman I suppose.”

  I frown in disbelief and in annoyance.

  “Some husband he will be,” I unintentionally whisper.

  I retrace my words.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologize. “I didn’t mean––”

  She nodded agreeably, cutting me off.

  “It’s OK,” she mumbles. “I understand...”

  The thoughts inside my head are too much to contain. I regrettably speak my mind.

  “You deserve better,” I tell her. “You deserve someone who will be there rain or shine. I don’t know where that perfect guy is in the world out there, waiting for such a beautiful and special girl like you, but I do know that he isn’t someone like Connor. You have so much to give, so much to offer and I just don’t wont to see you waste all of it on a man who will undoubtedly throw it all away.”

  The room grows cold as a tingle runs down my spine. The young woman’s eyes pierce my own to almost an unbearable degree.

  “Why did you save me?” She asks. “Why are you still here, even now?”

  I hesitate for a moment trying to find the right words.

  “I saved you because it was the right thing to do,” I admit honestly, running my sweaty palms nervously over my thighs, while I sit at the edge of her bed. “I had to help you because I saw that you were in need.”

  She eyes me speculatively as I glance around the room, looking for something to change the subject.

  “You didn’t answer my second question,” she tells me. “Why are you still here, even though you don’t have to stay.”

  My eyes meet hers again.

  “Because,” I answer quickly, “You asked me to.”

  She stares at me.

  “But why?” She questioned searching my eyes for the slightest sign of uncertainty. “Is it because you care about me, because you’ve grown (in only a short time) fond of the girl that I am; the one who Connor didn’t allow himself the chance to truly know?”

  I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I should say right now. What if she doesn’t understand how I feel? What if she thinks my feelings for her, over such a short time are juvenile and unrealistic? I can’t tell her, I won’t. If I don’t, at least I can leave her hospital room with a little dignity. I trusted someone with my heart before, pouring it out, letting them in only to be left heartbroken in the end. I can’t, I won’t make that mistake again, and especially not with a girl I’ve only just met.

  The young woman interrupts my thoughts with her words.

  “I believe that you and I come from different worlds,” she whispers, “But sometimes fate steps in and those world collide unexpectedly.”

  I feel my face tense just before it goes numb.

  “What do you mean?” I question her.

  Her pretty, naturally pink lips form a half smile.

  “I mean that maybe us coming into each other’s lives might not have been by accident,” she ponders. “Maybe it was just how things were meant to be, maybe it was how things needed to work out.”

  I freeze with panic unsure of how I should respond. I don’t know if she means exactly what I’m thinking she does. Is she saying that there is a chance that fate has brought us together for more than just a friendship? Is that what she is really saying? I don’t believe it. Can it be? I don’t even know if I actually believe in fate.

  Staring back into each other’s eyes, we see each other for exactly who we both are. I am just a boy and she is just a girl. We don’t see one another in the same light as others in our pasts did.

  The woman in front of me, isn’t who other’s tell her she is; she is more than just beautiful. I can tell by the way her eyes light up as I stare into the mirrors of her soul. There is more to her, so much more than what the natural eye can see. I am looking at the real person behind it all through the eyes of my heart. She isn’t a snob; she isn’t empty and heartless like I had first thought, when we had met by chance, before the accident in the coffee shop.

  I imagine she’s seeing that there’s more to me than my dime-a-dozen job, my geeky and slightly awkward first impression.

  The room grows still and quiet enough to hear a pin drop. My heart begins to beat faster and faster, while my mind tells me to do something I’m not sure would be best. I can’t; she’s almost a married woman. It would be right would it? But what about the man that she shouldn’t trust with her heart? That changes things. She deserves better, but if I do what my mind tells me to, does that mean that I’m saying that I’m what she deserves? If I surrender to my feelings and kiss her will it even make a difference? What if she doesn’t like it. What if that isn’t what she wants?

  Before I can arrive at a practical decision something happens suddenly. I taste the sweetness of the young woman’s lips on my own. Her lips are softer and gentler than anything I’ve ever felt before. I can feel her warmth, her kind nature and her feelings for me.

  We hold the kiss for as long as we can before letting go, surrendering regretfully to reality. I stand to my feet in haste.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell her stumbling backwards a bit dazed. “I didn’t mean to––”

  She cuts me off.

  “Christian,” she says softly. “It’s OK.”

  I run my hand through my dark hair, pushing back the nerves, trying to appear unfazed by her kiss.

  “I really better be going,” I tell her heading toward the door, avoiding the awkwardness and embarrassment as best I can.”

  She smiles back at me as I turn to glance at her.

  “Thank you,” she says.

  I nod.

  “It was the least I could do,” I tell her. “You needed help and I was more than willing to lend a hand. You’re more than welcome.”

  Her head turns away for a second and then, back to me.

  “Not just for saving my life,” she admits, “But for the kiss. I needed that. It gave me hope for something I didn’t expect to find.”

  I stop in the doorway.

  “Hope for what?” I question

  She looks down at the floor.

  “Hope for seeing you again,” she says. “You will come visit tomorrow won’t you?”

  I nod again.

  “Yes,” I agree. “I will visit every day if you want me to.”

  We exchange one last smile as I step into the hall.

  “Christian,” the young woman says.

  I speak quickly.

  “Yes,” I reply.

  “You never asked me my name,” she tells me, “My name is Caroline, Caroline Heart…”

  I pause for a moment, repeating it inside my head, remembering it so that I would never forget.

  While walking down the hall passing patients and medical staff, I never felt more excited and thrilled about any one girl in my en
tire life.

  I know fighting for her won’t be easy and I know staying away from her might be the best option because she’s already taken. But I can’t stand by and let her make the biggest mistake of her life, drowning herself at night in her own tears, wondering what if. We both owe this to ourselves after all. What better chance is there to take than one that can lead us to our ultimate destination, down the unpredictable road of love?

  A SPECIAL THANKS! – “Thank you dear friend and reader. Your interest in my written works truly matters to me more than you know. Please feel free and browse my other writing material on Amazon.com and go visit my Author’s Page to learn a little bit about me you don’t know.

  I encourage you to share your experiences and feedback with me in the review section; I will be reading every single post! I love hearing what you (the readers) have to say! Tell me how this collection of stories helped a little in your life or maybe even someone else’s who you’ve passed it along to. There will be FREE giveaways to my most commenting and active fans!

  If you have any questions or requests on topics or books you would like me to write, please feel free and e-mail me at authorjoshuamumphrey@gmail.com.

  Keep an eye out for my Inspirational and CLEAN novels coming soon; My Reason’s Why and more from this collection of Loving Her Softly. Other shorter works of fiction include While The Clock Is Still Ticking, volume 1 and 2 in (The Heartfelt Forgiveness) collection and the God’s Will For Man Christian lifestyle series.

  The Guardian, my most anticipated (#2 Best-Selling United States Drama) novel of the season, (book 1 in the My Mother’s Journal series) is a tale of true love, a family’s loss and new beginnings you won’t ever forget. It’s the greatest story of love, life and longing ever told! It’s available now!

  Thank you all so very much for your time and support. I deeply appreciate your efforts; every one of you (my readers) have a special place within my heart.

  Much blessings,

  Your Friend and Best-Selling Author, Joshua Mumphrey