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The Complete Poems of A R Ammons, Volume 2

Page 73

by A. R. Ammons


  at a bend in the road where a bridge crosses

  a stream: a gaggle swishing leisurely off

  hissing and shrieking in mock protest at the boy

  10driving the weed pickers to the fields:

  animals were television then, so much time to

  learn the ways of geese and time to dream

  a gooseless world in no need of tending: and

  think of the dark lively trees the brookbanks had

  15spared and the shattering among waterstones where

  the brookfall fell: now, it’s video and digital

  and Internet and VCR, usage doing away with

  geese, specially ganders, high-billed meanies.

  (1997)

  Birthday Poem to My Wife

  Have you considered how inconsequential we all

  are: I mean, in the long term: but

  anything getting closer to now—deaths, births,

  marriages, murders—grows the consequence

  5till if you kissed me that would be a matter

  of great consequence: large spaces also include

  _________

  us into anonymity, but you beside me, as the

  proximity heightens, declares myself, and you, to

  the stars: not a galaxy refuses its part in

  10spelling our names: thus you understand if you

  go out in the backyard or downtown to the

  grocery store—or take a plane to Paris—

  time pours in around me and space

  devours me and like inconsequence I’m little and lost.

  1997 (1997)

  Shot Glass

  I’ll never forget the day this beautiful woman

  right out in the office said I was “sneaky”:

  I didn’t know I was sneaky: I didn’t feel

  sneaky: but there are mechanisms below our

  5mechanisms, so I assume the lady was right:

  living with that has not helped my progress

  in the world, if there is any such thing,

  progress, I mean: also it has hurt my image

  of myself: I have used up so much fellow-

  10feeling on the general—all of which I have

  forgotten specifically about, as have the

  fellows—no offices, no clear images or

  demonstrations—I don’t understand why that

  one remark holds its place ungivingly in me:

  _________

  15and now to talk about it, admit to the world

  (my reading public, as it happens) that I am

  scarred by an old, old wound about to heal and

  about to bleed: this may do confessional good

  but I will no longer appear perfect to others:

  20conceivably, that could be a good thing:

  others may be scarred, too, but who wants to

  be like them: one should: perhaps I really

  do, because lonely splendor is devastatingly

  shiny but basically hard and cold, marble

  25walls and glistening floors: one comfort,

  which I am reluctant to relish, is that the

  lady is now dead—surely, I am sorry about that,

  she was a person of intelligence and

  discernment, which is one reason she hurt me

  30so bad—well, but I mean, she won’t hurt

  anybody else: she probably did enough good

  in her life that the Lord will forgive her:

  I am trying to forgive her myself: after all

  she left me some room for improvement and

  35a sense of what to work on. . . .

  1997 (1999)

  Embedded Storms

  The earth makes ocean bottoms mountain tops:

  so it’s not that big a deal to shear a slope

  _________

  of boughs: so what if rain washes the soil

  downstream and builds a marsh somewhere: or

  5if the unweathered rock shines in the face of

  a new day: or, a slightly more drastic case,

  if oxygen disappears, and the anaerobes come

  back out to play: it isn’t as if possibility

  falls along the line of human wish, if and

  10when the big wish is discernible: actually,

  human wishes build out into filigrees of

  branching, resembling, in fact, the realms of

  possibility: I forgot for a moment that nature

  freely makes small things of big things: take

  15for example the microbial soil previously

  mentioned: how fine the little fellows work

  the world, the microbes: you would be surprised:

  what we have most to fear perhaps is when we

  make a big human wish run over a host of little

  20possibilities, so that we lack the sight to

  see or know what we’re doing: when a

  sand scooter runs over the desert, the tracks

  disturb ten thousand years of adjustment in the soil:

  is anybody going to wait around while the

  25adjustment gets back in shape: well, no, but

  the earth doesn’t care: it would just as soon

  take the sand somewhere else and start over a

  new program: the earth like anything was

  _________

  never intended to be permanent anyhow so don’t

  30get your hackles up if a company distributes

  the top of a mountain to the grates of some

  poor cold people caught up in the crotches of

  sharp hills: one wall people keep flinging

  themselves against is the one on which something

  35permanent could be written or attached: such

  foolish hanging on to foolishness: earth will

  heave up a sea bottom, as stated, and make a

  beautiful island of the cone: and with the

  tsunami byproduct it will overwash a nest of

  40island-reefs already established green: so

  what am I saying here: the dynamic recovers

  all its forms and we, too, are wonderfully

  made and wonderfully undone: but we really

  would like wonders to remain as is, and we wd

  45like not to notice the moves that made them

  so. . . . (a moral a day keeps the preacher away):

  1998 (1999)

  Periodontal Abscess

  When “hyperemia and infiltration of leukocytes

  is marked”

  and the submaxillary gland (the one along

  the jawbone) swells hard

  5and the pain fills tight,

  it’s off to the dentist (your own out of town)

  _________

  if one can be found

  not off on Friday or not away on a beep signal

  or “not seeing patients this afternoon

  10because of all the paperwork to catch up on”

  for a little curettage, the bright, shiny

  instruments blundering in down

  along the roots to

  “stir things up”

  15so the pus can drain

  (a slow transport by blood ooze)

  this followed by a two-minute

  merthiolate soak-pack of cotton pellets:

  feels better already:

  20go home and every four or five hours

  rinse, holding the water over the tooth,

  with saline

  solution (1 tablespoon of salt to

  8 oz of water) as hot as you can bear it:

  25until you’ve used all the water up:

  this old-fashioned stuff beats antibiotics

  if it works, but doesn’t if it doesn’t.

  1984 (2000)

  Spills

  after bridge work, so many abutments, crowns,

  underpasses, cantilevers, my dentist, carried

  away into gold and porcelain, regards sternly

  flesh and bone that
swims underneath,

  _________

  5his structures abstract grins at the soft

  permissions of natural law:

  these bridges float

  over their rivers (time) in flood, the shores

  wash, the bridges gaggle about and down the

  10river they, too, ride, only to be found at

  last cool and dry in the ashes someone in

  a dwindled morning worries about flushing down

  the toilet:

  what is pluralism but something not

  15yet added up: what one wants is pluralism

  overwhelmed with unity and unity overwhelmed

  with pluralism: overwhelmed:

  could each drop

  of the stitch be a change of subject or is that

  20too noticeable: aren’t changes of subject

  more telling when they jostle in by surprise

  and yet is it not a signal writer

  and reader can share, a peachy way of saying,

  my dear, we have gone on: cracks in the

  25layering, is that appealing, or not: where

  the workman slipped or tragedy found another

  venue and view:

  I wonder if certain (I mean, uncertain)

  questions are proper; for example, does God

  30exist: well, of course, I rely on faith, but

  _________

  the only proper answer is, yes: you couldn’t

  say maybe, where would that put you (or God),

  and you couldn’t say no, because then how could

  you account for the presence of things or absence: so,

  35we, no, you can’t ask a question when there are

  no choices for answer: I was thinking, tho,

  the other day that it may have been comparatively

  easy to make things, but it must have been hard

  to make nothing, especially if nothing

  40was already there before: was it some other

  kind of nothing or was there this big block of

  something that nothing was made inside of or

  even that nothing was made of:

  adjacencies,

  45juxtapositions, sprinkles, drifts, plasmic

  slurs, smears, addled lines, clusters, how

  many shapes clear and at the edge of perceiving,

  all these hiding the rhombus, triangle, square,

  our clarities drawn into the rondures,

  50wash-outs: here, I say, I impose the strict,

  till an earthwave tumble my tinkerings as

  into a river-rush: still, we have held on

  well (at least we hold till the visible

  from the sky suddenly appear): squiggles,

  55afterthoughts:

  should a tiger come down from

  _________

  the hills and snarl at the mighty who write

  bad verses—senators, presidents, famous

  actors—and sell them broadly to the innocent[,]

  60we little people buying their poverty with

  enrichment: meanwhile, we littles wangle and

  bangle our tunes, good and bad, to one or two

  or none, till we turn out a small person who

  beyond all station moves the deep wide into

  65the cosmic reach:

  I’m just an old man in a gelded

  cage.

  1998 (2000)

  A Regular Mess

  I took (drove my Toyota) a jug of my one-day’s

  urine up the road to the Care Center this

  morning early, the snow hardly heavier than a

  crust of rime, the cushionest grit: this, I

  5said to the lady, the nurse, all in white,

  hair a little creamier, is my creatinine test

  results: fill in this form, she said: I sd,

  I filled it out yesterday, one like it: well,

  she said, fill out another one: then she

  10picked up my full bottle-jug and said, you are

  very generous: she said, some people come in

  here with about that much (very little) from

  _________

  a whole day’s effort, you are really generous:

  I said, yeah, that’s without any beers, too:

  15I felt proud: but I recalled the doctor had

  said, it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality:

  so now I must wait to see if I did a whole lot

  of something good or a whole lot of something

  bad, perhaps intermediate: I liked her, the

  20lady in white, a little on the old side but

  young enough for me: old people don’t see

  much age in old people’s faces: they see a

  young woman in a wreck: so then she came

  back from the refrigerator where she stored my

  25generosity and said, you have to have a blood

  test, too, a comprehensive Profile: Jesus, I

  said, I just had a egg, ten minutes ago, does

  that make any difference: well, well, well,

  maybe so: better come in tomorrow morning,

  30nothing to eat, no coffee, just water: I’ll

  be here, I said, at seven: if I don’t see you

  she said, have happy holidays: it was so fine

  outside, the sun broken through on the crisp

  snow, a good grip for the soles, no other

  35footprints around, just mine coming in . . .

  1997 (2000)

  APPENDIX B:

  Poems Posthumously Published

  Mule

  The mule, though

  sexed, is sterile as angels,

  dull, tranquil:

  hardworking (steady to no joy)

  5long-eared, flopping

  grace

  measuring the plodding pace:

  will strain in swamps,

  put belly to ground—

  10chained to tonged logs, veins

  rising like moleways

  toward the heart:

  if the log does not

  give, the trace must

  15break: the driver cries:

  the log

  sucks, rides: windbroken,

  the mule’s sold cheap to sandy

  farm and light feed:

  20stiff or old, whipped,

  must move or die:

  should the pulled hip fail,

  is led hopping to the field’s

  back edge and

  25shot: the grave to dig then!

  in human sweat’s atonement,

  the mule glistens

  out of decay-oiled hide and,

  trampling the air, kicks

  30up heels in

  the shine-fields of galaxies

  still unfound.

  1960

  For Edwin Wilson

  Did wind and wave design the albatross’s wing,

  honed compliances: or is it effrontery to

  suggest that the wing designed the gales and

  seas: are we guests here, then, with all

  5the guest’s gratitude and soft-walking:

  provisions and endurances of riverbeds,

  mountain shoulders, windings through of tulip

  poplar, grass, and sweet-frosted foxgrape:

  are we to come into these and leave them as

  10they are: are the rivers in us, and the slopes,

  ours that the world’s imitate, or are we

  mirrorments merely of a high designing aloof

  and generous as a host to us: what would

  become of us if we declined and staked out

  15a level affirmation of our own: we wind

  the brook into our settlement and husband the

  wind to our sails and blades: what is to

  be grateful when let alone to itself, as for

  a holiday in naturalness: the albatross

  20fishes complyingly the waves with a will beyond

  the waves’ will, a
nd we, to our own doings, put

  down the rising of sea- or mountain slope: except

  we do not finally put it down: still, till

 

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