Tear Down These Walls

by Sarah Kay Carter

  “So, you can teach the boys how to fight?” Teagan laughs.

  He shakes his head. “No, it all depends on what they want to do. I will teach them the basics so they can properly defend themselves, especially the girls.”

  “Well, when I have little girls, I will have to send them your way,” Teagan tells him. Trent only laughs. Teagan looks at the picture of Kya. “When did your brother find out?”

  Trent gets really quiet and looks down. “The mother found out by testing while she was still pregnant. It took a lot of….convincing….to keep her from terminating the pregnancy.”

  “That is awful!” Teagan exclaims.

  Trent snorts and says, “When I researched about the syndrome I found out over 90% of women will have an abortion.”

  Teagan frowns, “I would never do that. Not in a million years. It may be extra work, but I have found that people with developmental disabilities can be some of the most loving people you will ever meet. That’s sad.”

  “Some people can’t handle it,” Trent replies. “It doesn’t mean they are bad people.”

  “No, it doesn’t; I just couldn’t do that,” Teagan whispers. “So, how old is she?”

  “Five,” Trent sighs. “A handful. She is really starting to talk now. Knows the word no.”

  “Uh oh,” Teagan giggles. “That’s never good.”

  Smirking, Trent shakes his head. “No, it’s not good at all.”

  “Well, she’s very cute,” Teagan states, looking at the picture.

  “She is,” Trent murmurs. “You should get started on your studying.”

  “Ugh, I know,” Teagan groans.

  “Would you like a juice box?” Trent teases.

  “No, water will be just fine,” Teagan replies, giving him a playful look.

  He winks at her and turns to leave the room. Teagan rolls her eyes and goes back over to the couch. She sits down and takes out her books. Trent comes walking back in a few minutes later with a bottle of water. “Here.”

  “Thanks,” Teagan says. She exhales. “I’m not looking forward to this test.”

  “Well, I won’t interrupt you while you are studying,” Trent chirps, sitting down next to her. “I will watch TV silently.”

  “When do you want to order the pizza?” Teagan asks, opening up her book. “I’m getting hungry.”

  Trent pulls out his cell phone. “We can order it now. What do you like on your pizza?”

  “Anything and everything,” Teagan answers, pulling out her note cards.

  “Anchovies?” Trent quips.

  Teagan looks up at him appalled. “NO! Who really eats that!?”

  “My dad,” Trent replies, grimacing. “We always had to order him a separate pizza.”

  “That’s seriously gross,” Teagan gags. “Really gross.”

  “I know. I was only joking. So, a supreme pizza would be fine?”

  “Sure,” Teagan says. Suddenly, her cell phone starts ringing. She looks at the ID. “Uh oh,” she exhales.

  “What?” Trent says, looking at her phone.

  Sighing, Teagan declares, “It’s Isaac.”

  “You don’t have to talk to him,” Trent whispers.

  “I don’t want to,” Teagan replies, as she presses end. Setting her phone on her lap, she exhales loudly. “I don’t even know what I would say to him.”

  Trent frowns. “I’m not really happy with him right now,” he says. “I warned him, and he pushed himself on you anyway.”

  “He didn’t know,” Teagan mumbles.

  “Teagan, I wasn’t drunk last night,” Trent retorts. “You were giving obvious signs that you wanted him to let you go. I saw you pushing.”

  “Not very hard,” Teagan sighs, shaking the memory from her head. “I was way too drunk. I never want to be that way again.”

  There is a moment of silence and then Trent whispers, “I wanted to lay him out.”

  “What!?” Teagan gasps. “Why?”

  “Because, he pushed himself on you, even if it was just a kiss. You don’t want guys to just kiss you without your permission.”

  Teagan looks at him and smirks. “Oh really?”

  “Yeah, really,” Trent snips.

  “Like when I go to kiss a guy on the cheek, and he turns his head to kiss me instead?” Teagan teases.

  Instantly, Trent frowns, “I…oh jeez….I did it too.”

  “Oh no!” Teagan exclaims. “It’s okay! I swear it’s okay that you did it! I was only joking. If you had asked my permission, I would have told you it was fine.”

  “That’s no excuse,” Trent mumbles.

  Looking at him for a second, Teagan jumps forward and plants her lips on Trent’s. Trent jerks a little, but then kisses her back. Finally, Teagan pulls away. “There, now I did it to you. We’re even.”

  He looks back at her with intensity. Teagan can feel his breath hot on her lips. It makes her want to kiss him again. She quickly sits down to flatten that idea. Trent finally shakes his head. “I guess we are even. I would never want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.”

  “I would tell you if you did,” Teagan replies. They sit there and stare at each other for a minute. The feelings in Teagan are almost foreign. She has never felt this big of a drive to kiss someone. Finally, she looks away. “I should start studying.”

  “I will…order…the pizza,” Trent stammers, dialing out on his phone.

  As she starts to organize her study cards, Teagan listens to Trent make the order. When he hangs up, she can feel him staring at her. Teagan doesn’t look up. Her phone whistles. She picks it up and groans.

  “What?” Trent asks.

  “It’s Isaac. He says he is sorry and just wants to talk.” Teagan pauses. “I don’t think I can do that. I don’t know what I would say.”

  “Isn’t he your friend?” Trent inquires.

  “Of course,” Teagan replies.

  Trent sighs, “You should probably talk to him.”

  “I can’t do that,” Teagan states, shaking her head. “I can’t talk about what happened. He would push to find out.”

  He takes her hand. “I’ll do it with you. He won’t push if I am there. I can be pretty scary.”

  Teagan smiles. “That is true. Fine, what about after class on Monday?”

  “That’s perfect,” Trent says, loosening his grip on her hand.

  She picks up her phone and texts Isaac, I will talk to you. Meet you at the coffee shop around 9 pm on Monday.

  Isaac responds. Are you okay?

  I will talk to you Monday.

  Okay…..

  Teagan sighs and puts her phone down. “I’m not looking forward to that. I have been so scared of people seeing that video or even knowing about it.”

  “You don’t have to tell him anything,” Trent murmurs. “No one needs to know.”

  Teagan hesitates and then reaches into her pocket. She pulls out the small jump drive. “This is it.”

  “That is what?” Trent asks.

  “This is the video,” Teagan whispers.

  “Oh,” Trent replies. There is a quiet moment. “Why did you bring it?”

  She fiddles with the jump drive. “This is the reason I struggle all the time. I don’t know how to be okay with it.”

  “I don’t think you will ever be okay with it,” Trent says gently.

  “But, I need to deal with it,” Teagan barely breathes out. “I have never actually watched it. I saw five seconds of it and threw up.”

  “Why do you feel the need to watch it now?” Trent inquires.

  “I have to face it. To get past it, I have to face it,” Teagan replies. She nods her head and reaches down for her laptop. “We’re going to watch it.”

  “Teagan,” Trent says, grabbing her hand. “You don’t have to do this.”

  “It’s too much to ask of you, isn’t it?” Teagan sighs. “Sorry, I’ll do it on my own a different day.” The last thing she wants to do is push him to do something he isn’t comfort
able with. Things are really, really easy with him.

  He shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant. I just want you to be sure you want to see this.”

  “I need to,” Teagan whispers, lifting her eyes to his.

  “Then we will watch it,” Trent murmurs. He takes the computer from her. “Give me the jump drive.” Teagan hands it to him. Trent turns on the computer and then plugs it in. “What file is it?”

  “The only video on there, the rest of the files are the awful posts he put up about me,” Teagan mutters. “We compiled it all for his trial.”

  “Did you testify?” Trent asks.

  She nods. “Yeah, I had to. I didn’t even look at him or anyone for that matter. I remember when we went back to school after that, everyone was staring at me. The more time went on, the more I found out about him. He slept with six girls from the cheerleading squad. I don’t understand how I didn’t know about that. I knew he was partying a lot without me, but everyone kept me in the dark.”

  “He is going to have an accident, and he may be seriously maimed,” Trent growls.

  Teagan laughs and scoots over to Trent. She puts her head on his shoulder and wraps her arm around his. “I am ready for this.”

  “All right,” Trent replies, as he presses play and puts his hand on her knee.

  The video starts and Teagan cringes. Trent puts his arms around her and holds her tight. Teagan murmurs, “At least you can’t see me naked.”

  “No,” Trent whispers back. There is a heavy pause. After a minute, Trent murmurs, “Can I say something?”

  “What?”

  “I am not trying to downplay this, but…..your ex is really awful and has no idea what he is doing,” Trent states seriously, his eyes not leaving the screen.

  Bursting out laughing, Teagan really looks at the video. “Okay, maybe I didn’t enjoy it for other reasons.”

  “Look at him!” Trent exclaims, pointing to the screen. “I realize he is just a teenager, but if he was with six other girls, your boy should have more skill than that. He looks like a twelve year old virgin!”

  She laughs even harder until tears start to well up. “Stop, oh my god, stop.”

  “No,” Trent retorts. “If I were him, I would be embarrassed about people seeing this! He has no rhythm and is awkward as hell.” Teagan falls over into Trent’s lap, she is laughing so hard. “And he is done! Oh my god, he makes it too easy! Let’s watch it again and time it. That had to be three minutes tops.” Teagan continues to laugh in his lap. “Seriously, babe,” Trent starts. “I know this was horrible for you, but that was the most pathetic attempt at sex I have ever seen. Can I please time it?”

  “You’re kidding right?” Teagan giggles. “You think it was three minutes?”

  “Yeah, wait, I have a timer on my phone.” Trent holds it up. “Okay, sit up so we can time this.” Teagan does, wiping away the tears from her eyes. “All right, let’s start the video.” Trent presses play. “Okay, he starts now. Let’s see how long this takes. Want to make a wager?”

  “What are we betting?” Teagan asks, with a grin.

  “I have no idea, a gentleman’s bet. What do you think? What do you think the timing is?”

  “Seven minutes because it seemed a lot longer than that,” Teagan retorts. “I can’t believe it was that short.”

  “Babe, it was not seven minutes,” Trent declares. “I’ll say three minutes tops because I think that’s a better guess.”

  Teagan tries not laugh. “We will see.”

  After a little bit, Trent shouts, “And it’s done!” When he looks at his phone, he bursts out laughing.

  “What, what was it?” Teagan yells, looking at the phone.

  “Two minutes and forty seconds,” Trent laughs. “That is horrible! That shouldn’t even count! I think you should still consider yourself a virgin!”

  Laughing hysterically, Teagan gasps for air. “That is hilarious!”

  “It really is,” Trent snorts. “That is really bad, Teagan.”

  She looks at Trent. “Do you want to hear something funny?”

  “Will it top this?” Trent shows her the phone and points to the computer with a grin.

  “Supposedly, he is really small,” Teagan states. “Or rumor has it.”

  Furrowing his eyebrows, Trent says, “You have never seen anything else to compare it to?”

  “No!” Teagan exclaims.

  “You have never looked up naked pictures of guys with your friends? Really?”

  “No!” Teagan declares loudly. “Shut up!”

  “Here, I will give you something to compare it to,” Trent says, putting the computer down. “Show you a real man.” He grabs at the button of his jeans.

  Teagan grabs his hands and pulls them away. “Stop it! You will not!”

  Trent laughs and moves his hands to touch hers. “Wow, you’re really red right now.”

  “I do not want to see that!” Teagan exclaims. “Keep it in your pants!”

  “Well, I guess it wouldn’t be fair to him anyway. I am very well endowed, and even if he was a normal size, it would pale in comparison.”

  “You’re so full of yourself!” Teagan shouts. “Whatever! Doesn’t every guy say that!?”

  “This guy is telling the truth,” Trent retorts smugly, pointing to himself. “But you don’t believe me do you?”

  Completely embarrassed, Teagan stammers, “No, I don’t believe you. Every guy says that; it’s what you do!”

  “Want to make a wager?” Trent asks.

  “No, we’re not betting on anything related to your penis size!” Teagan exclaims. “We need to stop talking about this.”

  “I promise, one day I will prove that I’m right,” Trent laughs. “You just wait.” He looks at her playfully.

  “Yeah, when we are old and ninety and in a retirement home. Then I’ll be crazy enough to check out the size of your penis! Not now!”

  Trent grabs his stomach and laughs. “You’re so red!”

  “Trent!” Teagan snaps. “You know I am super shy talking about that stuff! I really am a virgin in a lot of ways if you think about it.”

  “Yeah you are, after seeing that video,” Trent laughs some more. “You poor thing. I’m picking on you. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m going to look as bad as Justin when I finally have sex! It’s been four years since I kissed a guy, let alone made out with a guy! I am going to be clumsy and make a fool of myself!”

  “It’s been two years for me,” Trent sighs. “But, I have a lot of experience. It will be like riding a bike.”

  “Two years!” Teagan squeaks. “Why two years?”

  “The end of my last relationship,” Trent states. “I haven’t met anyone since.”

  Crinkling her nose, Teagan says, “Yeah, but….haven’t you wanted to…..couldn’t you find a girl?”

  He chuckles, “I’m not about casual sex, not anymore.”

  “Well, at least you have experience. I should find an 18 year old. That might even out the playing field,” Teagan grumbles.

  With a mischievous grin, Trent says, “I could teach you the ropes.”

  Teagan gives him a look. “No, I have made out with someone before.”

  “Someone who didn’t know how to kiss or….do anything for that matter,” Trent quips.

  “Are we twelve, practicing kissing on each other?” Teagan giggles.

  “It is an open offer,” Trent sighs happily. “I’m a fantastic kisser from what I am told.”

  Everything inside of Teagan wants to jump on him and find out. Pushing all of that aside, Teagan scoots back and grabs her text book. “I will not make that judgment call. You can find another girl to practice kissing.”

  “I was only teasing,” Trent replies. “I bet you are a wonderful kisser. You do have very soft lips.”

  “Lip balm, lots of lip balm,” Teagan laughs. Nervously, she grabs her note cards, desperate to change the subject and keep her desire to take him up on his offer hidden. �
�All right, I need to study.”

  “Are you okay now, with the video and everything?” Trent asks. “I want to make sure.”

  A sincere smile spreads across Teagan’s face. “Actually, I’m very okay with it. I never realized it could be looked at any different way other than humiliating. You made me realize that maybe I shouldn’t be the one who is embarrassed. He got what he deserved.”

  “I thought you didn’t know what he got for punishment?”.

  “I don’t,” Teagan says. “Though I am curious now. Hold on, I am texting Georgia and asking if she knows.” Teagan grabs her phone and sends out a message.

  “You know, if he is on probation and we get into a fight, he could end up in jail,” Trent states.

  Teagan looks up and smiles, “Really?”

  “Yeah, you can’t get into any sort of trouble at all when you are on probation,” Trent replies. “His ass could have to spend the rest of his time in jail.”

  “Please fight him,” Teagan begs. “I think he should have gotten jail time in the first place.”

  “I bet if I punch him, he won’t tell anyone,” Trent quips with a grin. “His ass would be too scared to call the cops.”

  With a wistful look, Teagan says, “Wouldn’t that be nice?” A whistle sounds from her phone. She reads, “Five years’ probation, that’s what he got.”

  “Yeah, he would get into a lot of trouble,” Trent declares with a wicked smile. “He better watch what he does with you. I can break him in two if I feel the need.”

  “Promises, promises,” Teagan whispers, giving him a smirk. Trent winks at her. She smiles and looks down at her note cards. Teagan sees Trent grab the remote to turn to the TV on. As much as she wants to concentrate, her mind keeps on drifting to the fantasy of finding out how good of a kisser he is. She shakes her head and tries to study harder.

  Forty-five minutes later the doorbell rings. “I will get the pizza.” As Trent gets up to leave, Teagan can’t help but check him out.

  “Stop it,” she hisses to herself. “He’s off limits! Get a grip.”

  A minute later, Trent comes in with the pizza box. “For you madam,” he says, setting the pizza down. “Are we getting plates and napkins?”

  Teagan throws back the cover of the box and takes a piece. “Maybe for you.” She takes a bite and grins.