Tear Down These Walls

by Sarah Kay Carter

He growls, frustrated, “I have only been carrying one with me for a little while now.”

  Suddenly, realization smacks Teagan in the face, she spits the soda across her kitchen. “Oh my god!”

  After a moment of silence, Kellen says, “Yup, now things are awkward.”

  “You’re expecting to have sex with me!?” Teagan hisses in shock. She sets the can down on the coffee table so that she doesn’t drop it. Her hands shake a little.

  “Not expecting…..it’s just……dear god why are we talking about this!?”

  Teagan gasps, “You’re carrying a condom because of me!”

  “Wouldn’t you have been happy that I had one today?” He inquires.

  “Of course, but…..”

  “Don’t worry. I’m not going to ever think that way about you again,” he states.

  “Trent,” she exhales.

  “Kellen,” he reminds her softly.

  “Kellen,” she counters. “Answer me honestly; do you want to have sex with me?”

  Kellen heavily sighs. “Yes, it does cross my mind….a lot.”

  “I see,” Teagan whispers.

  He laughs awkwardly. “Dear lord, you aren’t going to come within a hundred feet of me now.”

  “No…..that’s not true,” Teagan starts. “It’s just that….I have thought about it before too.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, but I thought you didn’t do casual,” Teagan points out.

  “And I don’t,” Kellen replies. “But with you, it would be far from casual.” There is a heavy pause. “We really shouldn’t be talking about this. You don’t want me to kiss you with tongue; that definitely means everything is off limits. And you’re right, it could mess things up. So…no more sex talk. It’s done.”

  She opens her mouth and then closes it. “I guess.”

  “I just think you should wait for someone special. Someone you love and trust one hundred percent.”

  A tugging on her heart makes Teagan pause. “I do trust you a hundred percent.”

  “I know, and I appreciate that. But you need to be in love. It needs to be special. I don’t want to ruin that. You should view yourself as a virgin. What you went through doesn’t count. It needs to be something beautiful that you will never forget.”

  Teagan snorts, “I think sex with you is something I would never forget……in a million years.”

  “Babe,” he says softly. “Just let this go. I don’t want to lose you or ruin what we have in any way, so let’s just move on from this.”

  “Okay,” Teagan exhales, disappointed, plopping down on her couch.

  After a few seconds of silence, Kellen finally asks, “So, are you staying at my house or am I picking you up?”

  “I will stay at your house,” Teagan replies, mentally checking off the things she needs to do before that night.

  “Okay,” Kellen says. “I am going to be preoccupied this week with some stuff, but you are going to be busy yourself.”

  “Yeah.”

  “All right, text or call me if you want to talk,” Kellen states softly.

  “Okay,” Teagan whispers, checking the time.

  “Have a good week.”

  “You too,” Teagan mumbles.

  “Bye Teagan.”

  “Bye Kellen,” she murmurs and then hangs up the phone, slumping off the couch.

  Teagan sits on the ground, staring at the floor. “He thinks I don’t want anything? I thought he was the one who didn’t want anything. Maybe he just wanted to have sex.” She pauses. “That is probably it. I guess that doesn’t matter. That will never happen now.” Standing up, Teagan exhales, “All right, I have stuff I need to do.” She turns and walks back to her bedroom. Her mind continues to race and think about Kellen. Teagan shakes her head and tries to think of something else…..but fails.

  * * * * *

  “Wake up beautiful,” Teagan hears murmured. “It’s time to get up.”

  “Mmmmm,” she hums, pulling the blanket up to her chin. “Ten more minutes.”

  “You have said that twice now,” Kellen laughs “You need to get up, or we’ll miss our flight.”

  She opens one eye and looks at him. “Next time I book the flight.”

  “Okay,” he chuckles. He bends over and kisses her on the forehead. “There’s coffee in the kitchen.”

  “I need an energy drink,” Teagan yawns, as she stretches.

  Scowling, Kellen says, “Those are horrible for you.”

  “But they work so well,” Teagan whines.

  “Eat something, and I will give you vitamins, which are much healthier,” Kellen shakes the blanket on top of her. “Now, get up, or I will get you up and throw you in an ice cold shower.”

  Teagan blushes because she thinks of the last time they were in a cold shower. She throws back the blanket and sits up. “All right, all right, I’m up.”

  “I will toast you a bagel,” Kellen says. “Do you like cream cheese?”

  “Yeah,” Teagan replies.

  “All right, hurry up,” he instructs. “I’ll get your coffee and vitamins ready, too.”

  “Okay,” Teagan yawns. “So sleepy.”

  A smile spreads across Kellen’s face. “You can sleep on me on the flight, just no drooling.”

  “I don’t drool!” Teagan snaps.

  “Just making sure,” Kellen counters. “Get ready. I will meet you in the kitchen.”

  Teagan watches him turn around and leave. She mumbles to herself, “You could get into the shower with me. I wouldn’t mind.” She yawns and stands up. “I need to stop thinking that.”

  Fifteen minutes later, she walks into the kitchen dressed and ready to go. “Need coffee,” she demands. “I’m so tired.”

  “It’s all set in that mug. Eat the bagel, and then take the vitamins,” Kellen instructs. “It will wake you up.”

  “Okay,” Teagan sighs.

  “Do you have everything you need? Did you double check your bags before you left your apartment?”

  She nods, “Yeah, I triple checked.”

  “Well, we can always get something in Michigan if we need it,” Kellen states, as he pours himself another cup of coffee.

  “Okay,” Teagan yawns again. She takes a bite of her bagel and looks at him.

  He has on these dark jeans that hug him perfectly and a blue button up shirt, with a few top buttons open. Kellen looks so sexy, and Teagan sighs. She sits there and thinks about taking his clothes off. Finally, she hears, “What are you thinking so intently about?”

  Jumping out of her daydream, Teagan stammers, “Nothing….nothing at all.”

  “You’re awfully flustered,” Trent chuckles.

  “No I’m not!” Teagan snaps and then eats more of her bagel, not looking at him.

  “Okay,” Kellen laughs. “I’m going to get my suitcase and bring it down.”

  He turns and walks away. Teagan watches him go, checking out the way his ass looks in his jeans. When Kellen is out of her sight, she hisses, “What has gotten into you Teagan!?” Groaning, she puts her head in her hand. “He has gotten to you. The temptation is so big. Ugh, this could lead to bad things.” She pauses and then says, “Or really good things.” Teagan knows better and tries to change her thoughts.

  A few minutes later, Kellen comes down carrying a garment bag and suitcase. “Are your bags ready? I’ll put them in the truck.”

  “Yeah,” Teagan answers. “We should really combine our garment bags because then we have one instead of two to keep track of.”

  “That makes sense,” Kellen agrees with a nod. “I’ll go do that.”

  “It’s only the dresses for me,” Teagan says.

  Kellen nods, “I have the suit for the wedding.”

  “Are you going to look dashing?” Teagan giggles.

  “Of course,” Kellen shoots back with a grin. “I have to make all the girls drool and intimidate Justin.”

  “Good,” Teagan chirps. “I won’t mind you being eye candy either.”<
br />
  Laughing, Kellen says, “Oh really?”

  Teagan realizes what she said and covers her face. “I shouldn’t open my mouth before I am fully awake.”

  “No, I like when you are honest with me,” Kellen murmurs as he walks over to her. He moves her head, so he can gently kiss her on the lips. “Always be honest with me, okay?” Teagan nods. Kellen smiles and then walks away with the garment bag.

  As they are getting their coats on later, Teagan sighs, “I should really have brought a book.”

  “Oh!” Kellen exclaims. “I totally forgot about that. Stay here for a second.” With that he darts up the stairs.

  “Where would I go?” Teagan quips curiously.

  He comes back down a minute later and hands her a small black case. “This is for you. You can download whatever you want to read at the airport.”

  Teagan opens the case; sitting inside is a Kindle Fire. “What in the hell is this for?”

  “Our trip,” Kellen replies. “The flight is long.”

  “You could have bought me a paperback, hell, a used paperback. This is a little over the top.”

  “Just use it,” Kellen groans. “We don’t have time for anything else. We have to go.”

  “Okay,” Teagan exhales. They go outside and get into the truck. The drive to the airport is a little long, but Teagan manages to stay awake the whole time. When they get to the check in area, Kellen walks up to the attendant. “Flight 626 to Detroit. Kellen Grayson and Teagan Murphy.”

  Reaching into her back pocket, Teagan grabs out her ID and puts it on the counter. The attendant smiles and says, “Yes, Mr. Grayson. Two first class seats to Detroit. It seems like you have already picked your seats.”

  “I did,” Kellen replies.

  “First class?” Teagan snaps quietly to him.

  Kellen turns to her. “I’m not a small person. I need room, and I can afford it. We’re flying first class.”

  “I have barely flown, let alone first class,” Teagan mumbles.

  He bends over and kisses her on the head. “Just enjoy it.”

  “Okay,” Teagan exhales.

  They check in, go through security and then to their gate. “Would you like a coffee?” Kellen asks, as they set down their carry-on bags.

  “Oh yes please,” Teagan huffs, plopping down in a chair.

  “Anything in particular?”

  “Caramel latte. Thank you.”

  He bends down and kisses her. “I will be right back.” Teagan watches him go and notices every other woman was watching him go, too. She smiles to herself. From a distance, she watches him at the coffee shop. She can still feel the press of his lips on hers.

  “He’s doing a good job at pretending to be my boyfriend,” she mumbles to herself. To keep herself preoccupied, Teagan takes out the Kindle. She knows she has a laundry list of books she has wanted to read. Going back and forth, she wonders what she should download. When Kellen gets back, he hands her the coffee. “Thanks,” Teagan says, before taking a drink.

  “What did you download?” Kellen inquires. He sits down next to her and looks at the Kindle.

  “I haven’t decided yet,” Teagan replies. “Each one is close to ten dollars. I’m kind of strapped right now.”

  “Hon,” Kellen starts. “That goes to my Amazon account. Pick whatever you want.”

  Frowning, Teagan replies, “I don’t want to use you.”

  “I will read whatever you download, that way you don’t have to feel so bad,” Kellen declares. “Pick a book.”

  “I like romances,” Teagan grimaces. “You aren’t going to want to read that.”

  Kellen laughs, “Probably not, but if you tell me it’s good, I promise to read it.”

  With a smile, Teagan quips, “Really?”

  “Sure,” Trent replies. “Maybe it will give me some insight into how women’s minds work.”

  “Okay, then it’s this book. I will let you know if it’s any good,” Teagan declares, pressing download on a book. When it’s downloaded, Teagan opens it and starts to read. A little time goes by. She is completely drawn into her book. While she is deep in the story, someone walks in front of her and Kellen. He reaches down and pulls their bags closer to them then reaches over and puts his hand on her leg. Only slightly looking away from the Kindle, Teagan glances at it. Kellen continues to drink his coffee, with his hand casually on her thigh. She pauses and smiles. The contact feels good.

  Finally, it’s time to board the plane. “Come on,” Kellen stretches as he stands. “We have to get to our seats.”

  “Okay,” Teagan sighs happily, as she stands up next to him. “I’m so excited about this trip.”

  “I am, too, actually,” Kellen replies. “I think it’ll be fun.”

  “My parents are going to be disappointed when they find out we are breaking up after the wedding,” Teagan giggles.

  Kellen smiles down at her. “Why not just tell them the truth?”

  “I don’t know,” Teagan sighs. “I don’t want it to slip that you aren’t my boyfriend to anyone, so we need to be really convincing to everyone.”

  “I think we will do a splendid job at that,” Kellen states. He reaches down and takes her hand as they walk to the gate entrance. Teagan is pleasantly surprised by first class. The chairs are as big and comfortable as recliners. The flight attendant immediately walks up and asks if they want something. Teagan politely says no. Kellen stows their bags in the overhead compartments and sits down. They sit there quietly as everyone boards the plane. Teagan loves watching the people and is amused that almost every female that walks past eyes up Kellen. She turns and looks at him. He sees her staring at him, and he gets a crooked smile. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “No reason,” Teagan giggles, turning on the Kindle.

  He reaches over and puts his hand on the Kindle screen. “Tell me.”

  With a huge smile, Teagan leans over and whispers, “Everyone woman walking by is practically stripping you naked with their eyes.”

  Kellen laughs softly. “I’m used to it.” Teagan grins and shakes her head. He looks at her for a second and then asks, “Do you ever do that?”

  “What, undress you with my eyes?” Teagan scoffs. Kellen smiles and nods. A heated blush sweeps over Teagan. She nervously whispers, “Sometimes.”

  “Mmmmm,” he hums in amusement. “Do you still do that now that you have seen me practically naked?”

  Blushing even harder, Teagan mutters, “I don’t remember much about what you looked like. I was more concentrating…..on everything I was feeling inside of me.”

  A thoughtful look passes over Kellen’s face. “I see.”

  “Sorry, roles aren’t reversed,” Teagan snaps quietly under her breath.

  Kellen leans over and whispers, “You don’t need to worry about that. The image of you barely clothed is embedded in my mind. I do think about that often, and what every inch of you felt like.”

  Now Teagan’s face is on fire. “You shouldn’t say stuff like that,” Teagan whispers bashfully.

  Quickly, Kellen pulls away. “I’m sorry. Overstepping boundaries again.”

  “No,” Teagan says back. “It’s just that……it makes my mind wander, and that’s not going to get me anywhere.”

  He looks up at her. “My mind wanders all the time.” They sit there staring at each other for a while. When the flight attendant starts talking over the intercom, they finally look away. She asks that all electronics be stowed away. Teagan shuts down the Kindle and puts it in the pocket in front of her. Her attention drifts, and she looks out the window. A few seconds later, she feels Kellen take her hand. Teagan doesn’t look at him, only wraps their fingers together.

  A little while later, she hears, “Teagan baby, wake up.” She opens her eyes groggily. Her head is on Kellen’s shoulder. She looks down. Their fingers are still interlocked, but now her other hand is placed gently on his arm. It feels so good to be close to him. “I need to use the restroom,” h
e whispers.

  “Can I join you?” Teagan giggles sleepily.

  “Now….that definitely puts some fun ideas in my head,” Kellen laughs. “But no, stay here.”

  “Okay,” Teagan sighs humorously.

  He gets up and heads down the aisle. Teagan yawns and stretches her arms in the air. A few minutes later, Kellen returns. He sits down. “Are you thirsty? You missed them coming through with drinks.”

  “Actually yeah, a little,” Teagan replies.

  Kellen raises his hand to the flight attendant who walks over and smiles, “What can I get for you?”

  “What would you like?” Kellen asks.

  “Orange juice, please,” Teagan says. The flight attendant nods and walks away. Teagan turns and looks at Kellen. “How long have I been asleep?”

  Smiling, he whispers, “An hour.”

  “Mmmmm,” Teagan hums, putting her head back on his shoulder.

  Gently, he puts his head on hers. “What were you dreaming about?”

  “I don’t remember, why?” Teagan asks.

  “You were talking in your sleep,” he barely murmurs.

  “What did I say?” Teagan inquires, turning to look up at him.

  With a thoughtful look, Kellen stares down at her. “You were saying my name.”

  “Hmmm,” Teagan hums. “Please tell me I wasn’t moaning it.”

  A huge grin appears on his face. “Why would you be moaning my name?”

  Instantly, Teagan blushes. “No reason.” She quickly sits up away from him and looks out the window.

  “Oh no,” Kellen retorts, nudging her with his elbow. “You can’t leave it at that. You have to elaborate.”

  “No, I don’t,” Teagan snaps in complete embarrassment.

  She feels him reach over, putting her hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to be so bashful around me. I would never make fun of you.” Teagan continues to stare out the window. “Can I tell you something without you freaking out?”

  Finally, Teagan turns back to him and nods. “Sure.”

  Kellen looks down and says, “You don’t have to feel weird about dreaming about me because I dream about you almost every night.”

  Teagan whispers, “Why are you telling me that?”

  “So, you’ll tell me what you were dreaming about,” Kellen quips quietly. His beautiful dark eyes finally lock onto hers.