by S. K Munt
And it looked like she’d failed at the heartbreak thing too. Hunter was upset- but according to Marnie, he’d seemed utterly convinced that it was just a bump in the road they’d get over, and quickly. So she’d have to find a way to drop the gavel again- this time on his optimism.
‘So?’ Imogen didn’t even attempt to cover her yawn. ‘If you don’t want to run into your honey’s, blow it off.’
‘You know she can’t.’ Thespia looked irritated. ‘And Imogen maybe we’d all have given you the sympathy you needed when you lost your protégé, if you pretended to have a heart now.’
‘Calliope broke my heart.’ Imogen said stiffly. Then she winked at Callie. ‘Just not Hunter’s… must be losing your edge, sister.’
‘No I’ve just lent it to you. Try to wash the bitch off it before you return it, hmm?’ Callie snapped.
Everyone laughed. Even Imogen. But Thespia turned back to Calliope, her brown braids swinging out. ‘I know you feel lost but you have just got to reach into that part of yourself that’s overcome things worse than this and grip onto it until this concert is over.’
‘If it’s even the concert that’s going to get Hunter where he needs to be! I just don’t know! And I don’t know that my heart won’t self-destruct before then!’
‘It’ll be the concert, and you just need to get that guard up a little higher.’ Hendra said confidently. ‘And we’re all staying- at a safe distance- until you see this through.’ She cast a discerning eye over her sisters. ‘Right girls?’
‘Right.’ Renee said.
‘Right.’ Thespia squeezed her hand.
‘Be ruthless.’ Urania said with a wink. ‘I sunk Macintosh for its own good. It hurt, but it’ll be worth the resurrection- and so will Hunter, trust me.’
‘Whatever.’ Imogen reached for a chicken wing and dragged it through the thick black sauce. ‘I don’t see where the fire is, you’re handling this better than you think. I mean, you’re not swallowing pills or anything.’ She licked the sauce off the tip of the wing. ‘I was way worse than you. Granted, my guy was dead, but I was a total Thespian about it.’ She glanced at Thespia. ‘No offense.’
‘Yeah right.’
‘But these humans…’ Imogen rolled her eyes. ‘They’re so pathetic aren’t they? I mean, Harley killed himself over you, robbed the world of his gifts, and why? Because he was infatuated! Humans don’t know what real love even is! I was matched for him almost perfectly and who did he go for? The one who rocked his world under the covers! And when he thought he wasn’t going to get it anymore- boom! It disgusts me.’
‘What an awesome moment of insight,’ Raina snickered at Calliope. ‘Just, you know, twenty-five years too late for this one.’
‘Hey!’ Imogen wagged a chicken wing at her sister. ‘It’ll never be Poor Calliope on this matter. I’m not saying my pain wasn’t real. I’m saying, it was beneath me.’
Calliope frowned at her sister. ‘What do you mean by: ‘Rocked his world under the covers,’ Imogen? Harley thought his heart was breaking because of my gifts, didn’t he? My aura or whatever.’
‘Oh please.’ Imogen rolled her eyes. ‘After three thousand years, I think we’ve all worked out what your most special gift is…’
‘That is not a gift!’ She was mortified. ‘It was a past time.’
‘No honey, loosely translated, Muse Of Music basically means you can keep three different rhythms with your hips at once.’ Thespia giggled. ‘Not to downplay my own skills or anything, but if anyone of us has that as a gift, it sure isn’t Mrs Polyhymnia!’
‘Hey!’ Imogen’s face stretched into a mischievous smile. ‘You don’t know that. She was a good hummer after all!’
Hendra giggled. ‘Except she was too pious to put her lips on anything that wasn’t sacred!’
Renee let out a shriek of laughter. ‘No wonder she’s the only one of us who’s tied down- it was her first offer!’
Raina’s hand clamped over her mouth but it could not conceal her snort. On the seat beside her, Thespia fell onto Raina’s shoulder, lost in silent laughter.
‘Wait does this mean that I’m vanishing because I’m crap in bed?’ Hendra demanded beside Callie. ‘Great! I need a book or something!’
Imogen raised a finger. ‘I might have one. In fact you could say that I wrote the-’
Everyone groaned and tossed napkins and sauce sachets at Imogen, who brought her hands to her face and covered it, giggling at her own joke. Even Callie was laughing, so hard she had one arm nursing her stomach. She wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. ‘I can’t believe you guys are telling me that I’ve had such a wonderful streak because I just so happen to be good at something this body has only done a few times.’
‘Oh honey that body is as untouched as Polyhymnia’s in comparison to what your celestial body has um, gone through...’ Renee drawled.
‘Or who!’ Imogen quipped.
Callie scrunched up her face, but the recollections of her time with other men were hazy and fleeting, like she was running through scenes she’d seen in movies. Clio had assured her that when her powers were restored, it would all become clearer, but Calliope wasn’t so sure that she wanted that kind of clarity! And just then the musician launched into Mustang Sally and the girls all began to shriek with laughter anew. Calliope’s face had never been more on fire. She giggled her last and then asked: ‘Have I… you know… Ardos?’
Six faces blinked at her.
Imogen cocked her head. ‘Was he a singer…?’
Callie was surprised. ‘No! Ardos the one-’ she motioned to the ceiling.
Imogen’s eyebrows knitted together, and then her forehead smoothed out. ‘Oh! The waterfall guy?’
‘Waterfall guy?’ Calliope echoed, lost.
‘The one that was hanging around at the gorge vision you sucked us all into.’ Imogen went on quickly. ‘Your “Soul Mate” ’ She bent her fingers in quotation marks around the word. ‘And no you haven’t anything with him Callie.’ She leaned back against her chair. ‘Most of us have only met Ardos in the last few weeks, so we’re hardly on a first name basis with him. His visibility to us- even to you- is dependent on how often you think about him, or interact with him.’
Callie sunk into the memories pulling on the threads of her sub-conscious. Fingers tapping her shoulder, a fist tugging playfully on her hair but so much that it actually hurt, the sound of someone following her around and playing guitar, badly-like a deluded child, strumming as often as he beat the side just to piss her off with his lack of ability; of all of the Muses soul mates, Ardos was the only one Calliope had ever seen, well aside from Polyhymnia’s mate who was as corporeal as any of them on earth since they had mated and Josiah, who had shimmered into view beside Hendra at the gorge.
Ardos had literally forced himself into mass, his face slowly taking shape with every encounter of theirs. She could even remember the first time she’d seen his face- he’d tripped her over and she’d turned and swung at him. To her amazement, he’d yelped and lifted his hands to cover his now perfect -and bloody- nose! The memory she knew, used to piss her off. Now, it made her smile. ‘He’s kind of sly, you know…’ he was so sweet and attentive when I first went to Helicon in this state, and though he said that I was mean, he forgot to add that he’d been a constant thorn in my side!’
‘That he was!’ Hendra chuckled. ‘I actually know him better than you girls do. I think those of us who aren’t as corporeal can see one another easier. They’re all always milling about up there, waiting…’ She darted a look at Imogen. ‘Except for yours, Imogen. Nikolaos? That poor bastard hasn’t got two breezes to rub together when he moves.’
‘Well ssh! I like it that way!’ Imogen flipped her hair over her shoulder and leaned over to take a delicate sip of her drink. ‘Girls I am responsible for the greatest love stories of all time. A man has got to do a lot more than wait around for me like a sad puppy if he wants my attention and Nicky, if that’s his name, is not going to measur
e up to Heathcliff, Romeo, Mr Darcy or Gatsby any time soon.’ She bubbled her lips dismissively. ‘I’ll bet he doesn’t even read. How educated where these sheep herders anyway?’
‘Actually, Nikolaos was a king.’ Hendra winced. ‘I sort of got him into hot water two days into his reign. His army won the battle, but he was killed trying to steer his horse away from a hole in the dirt that would have broken its leg. The horse survived, but he was thrown.’
Everyone stared at Hendra, and Callie was wondering if they were all thinking what she was- that Black Beauty was Imogen’s favorite book of all time.
‘Really?’ Imogen raised one eyebrow. ‘That’s… kind of cool.’ Then she groaned and covered her eyes with her hands. ‘Okay don’t tell me anything else!’
‘How do I not know about this?’ Clio demanded.
‘Because we all spend so much time weighing the value of what we’ve accomplished as a whole, that we never remember the fallen kingdoms.’ Hendra said softly, then looked at Calliope. ‘Or the songs that failed and broke only the artist’s heart, or the books that went unpublished, or the art that was ridiculed, or the hymns that lost their glory…’ She focused on Raina. ‘You’re all doing so well, accomplishing so much! But these multiple victories are numbing you all to the pleasure you used to glean from a single step forward.’ She looked down at her hands and shrugged. ‘If it weren’t for Clio ensuring that History is still a very relevant subject in school, which revolves mostly around wars, I might be in Oblivion right now with Lania. So I spend my time contemplating the essence of what we’ve done, rather than the progress.’
‘Records,’ Calliope whispered. She met Raina’s eyes. ‘You need to help me out there, when I’m out of this debacle. I agree that what you’ve inspired is wonderful-’ she motioned to the mp3 player. ‘But it doesn’t sound the same as a seventy-nine.’
Raina squinted one eye doubtfully. ‘I don’t know Calliope. It’s getting to the point where my influence isn’t even needed anymore. I’m being kept alive and thriving from a collective goal to connect the planet. I can’t remember the last time I needed to focus on one person…’ She took a sip of her own tart Cosmo. ‘But I’ll try, okay?’
‘Thank you.’
‘Black and white movies,’ Thespia’s eyes were glassy, ‘puppet shows!’
‘Oh come on guys, it’s not all my fault.’ Raina chuckled wryly. ‘And FYI color is wonderful and puppets are creepy!’
‘Well!’ Imogen pursed her lips in a self-satisfied smile. ‘It is with pride that I announce that William Shakespeare’s name is on more lips now than then.’ She lifted her glass. ‘So someone fucking toast me- I might be a bitch, but I’m a sentimental bitch.’
‘Baz says thanks!’ Thespia tooted her own horn, winking.
Imogen nodded. ‘I’ll pay that.’
The girls all laughed, raising their glasses to clink against Imogen’s own.
‘Well done.’ Renee giggled. The Muse of art was the only one who didn’t seem to have a complaint to lodge, or to have stepped on anybody’s heels.
‘You’re a superstar.’ Hendra agreed.
But Callie lowered her glass, thinking of Ardos who she didn’t love, of Hunter who’s touch she craved, or Ryan who’d eyes she couldn’t meet for she feared she’d see her own demise within them. ‘I’m lost,’ she whispered and then, the tears were falling down her face again. ‘My heart is breaking, and I don’t know if I can stop it.’
Urania’s voice was a whisper across the table. ‘Then it’s time to get heartless Callie, and pull the pin on the grenade.’
Callie knew she wasn’t ready for anything too awful, but her attempt at being easy on Hunter had failed and now only a few days were left before the concert. If she didn’t shatter Hunter Marks, then she was going to have to return to Helicon and marry Ardos, conceding her title as the Muse of music over to someone who wasn’t so useless so she wouldn’t have to start all over again. So she sniffled, looking up. ‘What do I do?’
The guitarist began to play I Want To Know What Love Is while the Muses exchanged a sombre, eight-way look.
*
‘Okay guys that’s it for today…’ Callie’s sweet voice echoed off the mirrored walls of the ballet studio when she switched off the sound system, silencing Avril Lavinge’s lament about her happy ending. The dancers all began to shift and stretch out of whatever position they’d been in talking amongst themselves as they gathered their things.
Hunter leaned against the door and cleared his throat and Callie’s head twisted on her neck reflexively. So many emotions flashed behind her eyes that Hunter couldn’t single out one to take his cue from before she averted them.
‘Hey Hunter,’ she said softly, ejecting the C. D and clicking it into its case.
‘Good afternoon Miss Clay…’ Hunter let the teasing lilt creep into his voice to hide his nerves, conscious of the ballerinas filing out the door behind him, giggling and whispering. He heard ‘Fox’ and ‘Asshole’ from two different voices, and when he scanned the dancers edging past him, he wished he hadn’t, for Eva’s loathing glare stood out starkly against the fluttering lashes of the other girls. He looked away quickly and felt her sharp elbow dig into his ribs as she shoved by.
‘Hunter the students call me Callie.’
I’ll bet one calls you something quite different! he thought, glancing after Eva as she stalked away, feeling nothing but a bruise. But then he turned back to Callie. ‘I know. But Miss Clay sounds sexy. I have this school teacher fantasy to add to the groupie one...’
Callie slipped the C. D into her purse and finally turned to face him. Her cheeks were flushed, both from the humidity in the room, but also what Hunter hoped was a reaction to him. ‘How are you? I heard you’ve been blowing off rehearsals.’
‘What Ryan’s been dobbing on me?’
‘No. People talk Hunt. And I haven’t even seen Ry in over a week. I thought it was best if I just backed off you know?’ She met his gaze, and her own was apologetic. ‘I’m sorry.’ She said softly. ‘If I hurt you or embarrassed you or…’
‘Confused the hell out of me is more like it.’ Hunter supplied. ‘And, well, ripped out my fucking heart.’
Callie bit her lip. ‘I’m sorry for that too. But so long as I come between you two, I’ll stay away.’ She stepped up to him, traced her fingertip around the curve of his ear with a tentative finger and his eyes fluttered shut in blissful response. ‘Even if I don’t want to.’
‘But I’ve missed you so much!’ Hunter turned his face to the side to kiss the palm of her hand, but Callie retracted it before he could make contact.
‘Please don’t.’ She said softly. ‘Hunter… we can’t do this. I’m sorry for what I said the other day, but I meant it. We can’t be together.’
Hunter’s heart sank with no signs of slowing. ‘But why? Because I acted like a dick for like, five minutes? Ry and I will get over it. We always have. He tripped me over for laughing at his makeover yesterday-’
‘Ryan got a makeover?’ Callie looked astounded.
‘He sure did. He was due for one though; he’s been dragging that hair around for so long there was a cassette tape caught in the back of it.’
‘I can see why he tripped you,’ Callie said, rolling her eyes. But her lip twitched.
‘Perhaps... but I forgave. In fact, I served him up some Cocoa Pops this morning, to show him how sorry I am-’ he pursed his lips in a smile. ‘- and so long as he doesn’t check the date on the milk, we’re golden.’
A ghost of a smile lit Callie’s eyes. ‘You haven’t grown up even a little bit have you?’
‘No. But I have to shave now so most of the time, no one notices.’ He tugged on the end of her ponytail. ‘Except for you.’ He paused. ‘Is that the problem? My immaturity? Cos I swear too much? Because I’m a bit of a diva?’
Callie chuckled. ‘They’re some of my favorite things about you,’ she treated him to a wistful smile which faded quickly. ‘But that sort of
thing is irrelevant in the face of other stuff.’
Hunter swallowed. ‘Is it because of Ryan’s offer? Has it made you…?’ He forced a smile. ‘Because I should probably warn you that the FBI and the entire cast of Punked are probably surrounding our place to take him away for stealing Ashton Kutcher’s hair. And when they see that he has Enrique Iglesias’s beanie too they’re gonna be out for blood.’ Callie giggled, then covered it with her hand and warmth flooded through Hunter. ‘God I love making you laugh,’ he whispered honestly.
Callie looked down at the C. D in her hands and sighed. ‘Ryan didn’t say anything I didn’t already sense, Hunter. About his feelings or mine.’ She lifted her gaze and her brown eyes almost seemed to ripple with guilt. ‘I’ve always cared for him more deeply than I allowed myself to realize.’
Hunter felt like she’d taken the last fragments of his heart and blown them into his stomach. ‘You’re in love with him?’ He asked hoarsely, though every cell in his body was screaming: No! She can’t be! She’s mine!
‘No. And I won’t allow myself to be,’ she leaned against the door, ‘just like I won’t allow myself to fall in love with you. I’ve always been drawn to you both, and I hoped that enough time had passed to afford me some clarity on which of you is my best mate, and which is my soul mate...’
‘And it hasn’t?’
‘It has.’ She lowered her gaze. ‘But unfortunately, it’s given me a death sentence too.’
‘What?’ Hunter’s heart stopped as though she’d just punched his.
Callie looked away. ‘I saw the doctor Hunter… and found out that I’m not going to live much longer.’
Fear stained Hunter’s soul black. ‘Your heart?’ Callie nodded miserably. ‘But you said it was manageable! What could have changed in two weeks?’ His hand went to his mouth, horrified. ‘Oh shit is it me? Us squabbling over you?’
‘No.’ Callie said quickly, offering a tight smile. ‘The tests just showed that the hole has gotten bigger. I got the results back the morning of that rehearsal. When you played your song, I realized that loving me was going to break your heart, both of your hearts.’ Tears were rolling down her face. ‘So I broke them then and there, figuring it would be better if you were mad at me when I…’ She turned away. ‘God. It hurts me more to say this to you then it did to hear it. I was always so ambivalent towards my life, you know?’ She laughed bitterly, wiping at her tears. ‘Now I want to live, but this body can’t cope with my emotions. I have to abandon it, and you and Ryan.’ She smiled sadly at him. ‘I’d like a chance to hang out with you both again, as mates, before I do. But I can’t do that knowing that you’re fighting over who gets to hold the hand that won’t have a pulse much longer.’