Reality of Love Boxed Set: Books 1-3

by Marika Ray

  He made a noise in his throat that could have been agreement. “What are you doing here, Elle?”

  I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the way he said my name. Opening them again, I drank in the sight of him, wondering if this glimpse would have to last me a lifetime.

  “I’m so sorry, Austin.” He folded his arms across his chest and I rushed to get the rest out. “I’m sorry for betraying you. I’m sorry for not understanding the gift of what we had. I’m so damn sorry for not being who you deserved. I’ve realized these last few weeks that all the things I thought I cared about don’t really mean much after all. I’ve gotten quite a few things wrong, but there’s just one thing I’d like to get right.”

  “Elle.” His jaw clenched. “I don’t have time for this now. I’m in the middle of dinner service.” His hands went to his hair and he raked his fingers through before finishing his thought. “Look, come by later if you want and we’ll talk. But I can’t do this right now, okay?”

  “That’s fair.” I nodded, beyond excited he’d given me an opening. “What time do you get off tonight?”

  “Not until one in the morning. Sure you can wait around?” He sounded like he expected me to bail the minute things weren’t the way I wanted. He was going to have to meet the new Elle, the one who compromised for the people she loved.

  “I’ll meet you at one o’clock outside.”

  I had a squid dish to finish and flats to change into. Then I’d settle in for the night and wait for my chance.

  18

  Austin

  What the fuck was happening?

  First I had an angry customer on my hands saying my squid dish wasn’t up to par, which was total bullshit. That dish was the seafood bomb. Then the angry customer turned out to be Elle, looking more beautiful than any of the many renditions from my dreams.

  And she was sorry?

  I was stuck in a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde play where too-hot-to-handle Elle came out to tease me and then disappeared behind the icy, elusive facade of El Jefe. Tonight, it appeared I was dealing with Elle, which was almost the worst choice of the pair. Elle had the ability to rip my slowly repairing heart to shreds, whereas El Jefe would just reinforce why I was also busy building a fragile wall around my heart.

  If I could make it the next few hours without burning myself or food poisoning my guests, I’d count myself lucky. My brain was focused solely on Elle and what this visit could mean. I absolutely hated that a huge part of me was already excited, leaping over all our problems to land in Giddysville where we could just pick up where we left off before she imploded my world.

  When the clock struck one, I hung up my chef’s coat and splashed water on my face. The rest of the staff would finish the cleanup and I’d never wished to join them after a busy night. Now that the time was here, I was dreading this conversation with Elle. I mean, she might not even show up. El Jefe never waited for anyone.

  With my keys twirling around my finger, I stepped out of the back door of the restaurant and nearly shit my pants when Elle jumped into my path, her stature several inches shorter than normal.

  I grabbed my chest and stumbled back. “Jesus, Elle. Don’t jump out at people in a dark alley like that.”

  She bit her lip sheepishly and I nearly came in my pants on the spot. My poor pants would need a good washing before the night was over.

  “Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you saw me.”

  I frowned. “Why are you so short?”

  Her eyes widened and she smacked me on the stomach, the tallest body part she could reach from way down there. “Hey! Don’t make fun of short people. That’s not nice.”

  I squinted down and in the dark light could just make out that she wore flip-flops. “You own flip-flops?”

  She sighed loudly. “I do now. Just bought a pair down the street. They’re really comfortable.”

  “Yeah, I know. So are Vans and Converse and Toms. All shoes you’ve probably never had the pleasure of wearing since they’re flats.”

  She rolled her eyes, but the side of her mouth tipped up. “Believe it or not I didn’t fly all the way over here to discuss my footwear.”

  I grabbed her arm and tugged her with me as I walked toward the beach. There was a little bench right underneath a streetlight I’d become good friends with since working at Rustic Water. Nearly every night after work I’d sit for a few minutes to an hour, contemplating life and just taking in the ocean. The sound of the waves and the rhythm to it was soothing in a way I needed.

  No one was around this late at night, so even with the yellow light from the bulb overhead, it felt like we were in our own little bubble, the Pacific Ocean the only witness to whatever would be said in this charged conversation.

  I sat first and she sank into the bench next to me, a couple inches of space between us. I could smell her perfume, its scent bringing back memories of skimming my face along her skin, inhaling as much of her as I could with the short time we had together.

  “I should start this thing off since I was the one to walk away in the first place.” Elle was looking right at me, her tone begging for me to understand.

  I refused to look at her, instead pretending to find the ocean fascinating. There was no way I’d take the chance of looking at her. I could already feel myself softening to her with just the small banter in the alley outside the restaurant. The woman was too beautiful to stay mad at, and I had to hold onto that anger. What she did was wrong and I couldn’t just overlook it because I wanted to sink my hands into her hair and bite that lip that was practically begging for my attention.

  Her hand landed lightly on my forearm and my heart sped up just at the slight touch. I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath to stay focused.

  “I wish I could give you a good reason for why I didn’t pick you at the studio. I was feeling guilty for sleeping with a contestant, yes, but mostly I wanted to make sure Michael understood that nothing was going on between us. If I voted for you, I was afraid he’d tell everyone about us and both our reputations would be ruined.”

  I scrunched up my face, my anger flaring. “Please. No one knows who I am. At least be honest with me now. You were concerned about your reputation.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her flinch. “Yes. Yes, you’re right of course. I was worried that everything I’d worked for and dreamed of was going to go away. So, I made my choice. And I went home and realized my dream and I’m still miserable. Dios mío, I cried on my contractor and tried to get him to hug me, I was so lonely. My own mother abandoned me on my opening night to hang with some new boy toy and I had absolutely no one to celebrate this huge thing with! It means nothing, Austin. Nothing!”

  I turned and looked at her then, seeing tears in her eyes as she hopped off the bench to pace in front of me. “I had passion before. I was strict, my staff feared me, but they respected me too, you know? Now I have nothing. No passion. I don’t give a shit about anything. Nothing motivates me, nothing matters.” She threw her hands in the air and faced me. “I messed up, Austin. I made the wrong choice. I’m sorry.”

  Her sorrow hit me like a wall. I’d been so hell-bent on protecting myself from her that I hadn’t seen the bags under her eyes, or the way her dress was absolutely gorgeous on her, but a bit on the baggy side. She didn’t look right. She didn’t look happy.

  I nodded once. “Forgiven.”

  She did a double take. “What?”

  I spoke slower. “You’re forgiven.”

  Next thing I knew she’d rushed forward and wrapped her arms around my neck, squeezing the life out of me. I don’t know who taught her how to hug, but she’d learned real quick.

  “Thank you, Austin,” she whispered in my ear. Then she nipped my earlobe with her teeth and I jerked back as I felt it like a shock all the way to my toes.

  Her arms still clung to my neck, but we were face-to-face now. Her eyes were wide and she held perfectly still. The moment extended, just the two of us staring at each other with the
ocean waves the only sound. My heart was beating triple time like I’d run all the way to New York to find this woman. I wrestled with what I wanted.

  I mean, there was a beautiful woman in front of me willing to give me her body, of that I was pretty sure. So that was a no-brainer. But this thing between us couldn’t be casual. It couldn’t be just another epic night in bed and the next day she’d turn her back on me. It would crush me this time. So, yeah, I wrestled with whether I should give in to the look she was giving me.

  “Elle...” I half moaned. Her dark eyes sparkled back at me, an inky pool I could get lost in forever, if I wasn’t careful.

  “Austin,” she whispered back. Then she swiveled and sat on my lap, my hands going to her hips without thought. “I don’t know what love is, not really. But I know I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I want one more hug with you more than I care about my reputation. I want to tease you again about your dinosaur phone rather than be at my restaurant. I want to ask you about your day, every day. I want passion back in my life and I think—no, I know—that you’re the key.”

  I pressed my forehead to hers, absorbing everything she was saying. Because from where I was sitting, it sounded a lot like she felt the same way I did. Which had to mean I was dreaming. Did I fall asleep on the park bench like a homeless guy, dreaming of the woman I could never have?

  “Austin?”

  I blinked and Elle was still there, though she was looking a little pale.

  “What I’m trying to say is I love you, Austin.”

  My heart stuttered.

  “Could you pinch me, please?” I asked her.

  Her nose scrunched up. “What?”

  “Pinch me.”

  She tilted her head to the side, but reached down and pinched my thigh, none too gentle I might add.

  I yelped accusingly, “Ouch!”

  “You told me to pinch you, ¡tonto del culo!”

  “Hey, no need to call me names. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.”

  She went to stand up. “Well, this isn’t how I saw this going down.”

  I moved quickly to grab her by the waist, pulling her back onto my lap and nuzzling her neck. “I gotta say, El Jefe, I didn’t see it going down this way either. I’ve never had a woman tell me she loved me in the same breath as calling me a dumbass.” A chuckle escaped, and then a few more. Leave it to Elle to insult me right after she shared her love with me.

  She smacked my chest, but smiled. Then she started giggling with me. We were just two lonely people finding each other again and laughing it out at two in the morning on a bench by the ocean.

  When I could contain myself, I finally sank my hands into her hair and pulled her gorgeous face to me. Looking her in the eye, I whispered, “For what it’s worth, I love you too, Elle.” And then I nibbled on that lip before pillaging her mouth to make up for lost time.

  The door slammed shut behind me, but I barely heard it as I banged into the wall. Elle was climbing me like a redwood, her little body surprisingly strong. She pulled at my shirt, a button popping off and flying under the bed, never to be found.

  We’d made it back to her hotel with little issue. However, the minute the elevator doors closed, she’d turned into a crazy woman, her nails gripping me like she was afraid I’d disappear on her. Now that we had privacy, I gave as good as I got, ripping her dress over her head and tossing it aside.

  I raised my fist to my mouth and backed up, taking her all in. She arched one dark eyebrow and slowly backed away. “You wanna see more?”

  The temperature in the hotel room rocketed twenty degrees north and I bit my knuckle.

  She reached behind her and unclasped her bra, tossing it onto the bedside lamp, which tipped, wobbled, and fell over. Neither of us even looked to assess the damage. I could buy a new lamp. I’d buy ten lamps. But I wasn’t looking away from this woman for the rest of the night. Maybe the rest of my life.

  Her thumbs shimmied her lacy panties down her hips and down her legs, kicking the offensive material under the bed, to live a wonderful life with my button.

  Goddamn, she was the most stunning woman to ever live. It was easy to see her mother was a model, though Elle didn’t get the height. Her features were the kind that sold millions of copies around the world. Hell, she could have quit cooking and become a lip model for some makeup company extolling the virtues of their long-lasting lip color.

  And yet she loved me.

  I quickly undressed and approached, our gazes locked, but I veered at the last second and lay down on the bed, my back against the headboard. “Come here.”

  She climbed on and straddled my lap, her arms on my shoulders. I laid my hands on the tops of her thighs, itching to go everywhere, explore every inch of her body. “Say it again,” I whispered.

  She smiled that relaxed smile, the one I was addicted to. It was just for me, that upturn of her lips, the eyes half closed. No one else got to see her like this. No one else knew she had this side to her. “I love you, Austin Cox.”

  My hands skimmed higher, my thumbs settling into the notch where her thighs met. “I told you Team FieryCox was a winner.” One thumb stroked up the middle, a gasp leaving her mouth. “Was I right?”

  She nodded, her hair tumbling forward to block my view of her breasts.

  I tsked. “Nuh-uh, I want to hear you say it.” My thumb swiped again.

  “Okay,” she breathed. “Team FieryCox all the way, baby.”

  Now I was grinning. “See? That wasn’t so hard to admit.”

  “Shut up. Quiero hacerte el amor.” She kissed the side of my grin, then the other. “El hoyuelo,” she mumbled.

  I’d have to get her to translate later, but for now we’d communicate in a language we both understood. I cupped her jaw and captured her mouth, tangling our tongues while my thumb kept up a steady strumming. When she was rocking against me and more Spanish I didn’t recognize was coming out of that mouth, I lifted her up and let her slide back down, impaled in her glorious body.

  Forehead to forehead, we never broke eye contact as her hips undulated. I watched each twitch of her face, the way her eyes would widen as she gasped, or when her pupils would dilate. I let her set the pace, needing this time to be less about the destination and more about us coming together as a couple. Fusing the two of us together.

  Her eyelids started to flutter and she fought them closing. Her thighs clenched around my hips and her whole body began to shake. “Austin...”

  “I know, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” I put both my hands on her hips to help her keep her rhythm. Then she tossed her head back and I felt her squeeze me from the inside. Her moan was like music, making me feel like the most powerful man in the world. I held myself back and made sure she rode out her orgasm before I spilled myself into her, her name on my lips, over and over.

  We held each other until we grew cold and my legs went numb. I pulled down the sheets and climbed in, pulling her against me and holding her tight.

  “No take-backsies tomorrow, okay?”

  She snorted. “What, are we five?”

  I poked her side. “Pinkie swear, missy.”

  She laughed like I knew she would and we both fell asleep with permanent smiles.

  19

  Elle

  I woke up to loud snoring in my ear and something stiff against my backside. I pushed back my hips, thinking he’d quit sawing logs. Instead, Austin laughed and flipped me onto my back with lightning speed, settling between my thighs.

  “I’m just teasing. I’m twenty-two. I don’t snore like an old man yet.” Austin’s dimples winked at me, wishing me a good morning. I strained my neck to place a kiss on each one.

  “Why do you keep doing that? Is that a Spanish thing?”

  I giggled, insanely happy to be starting my day with him. “No! It’s a ‘you have adorable dimples and I’ve started an affair with them’ thing.”

  He frowned and they went away. “I don’t know how I feel about you chea
ting on me so soon in our relationship.” Then he smiled and they were back.

  I cleared my throat. “Speaking of...” Nothing to do but just throw it out there and see what he said. “I would like to meet your sister.” As much as I wanted to hide away where I wouldn’t have to see him shutter his eyes and refuse to let me in, I tilted my head up and looked at him squarely. I’d run away before. I wasn’t going to do that again.

  He nodded once. “Done. We’ll go today.”

  I blinked. “B-but that’s it?”

  He chuckled, the rumble in his chest sending flutters through my belly. “Yes, of course I want you to meet my sister. We’re a couple now, right?” A look of horror flitted across his face. “Right?”

  “Yes,” I was quick to reassure him. “I just didn’t think you’d let me in so quickly after everything I’ve done.”

  His eyes softened and he spoke softly. “Elle, I love you. That’s what you do with people you love. You let them in.” Then he tilted his hips and the fluttering soared to new levels. “In every way.”

  When we came up for air much later, he called his sister, waking her up and explaining where he was. He’d texted her last night when we walked back to the hotel, but she hadn’t seen his text as she was still sleeping. He teased her about being a sleepyhead and I could hear the affection in his voice. I went to take a shower, suddenly nervous to meet this girl he loved so much.

  Would she like me? Would I be super awkward and weird around her, or push her away without meaning to? I started thinking about what outfit I should wear, like putting on armor to engage the enemy. But when I caught sight of my naked self in the mirror, makeup-less and hair a tangled mess, I realized I didn’t want to live that way any longer. I had a chance to love and be loved by a man like Austin. I didn’t need armor to meet his sister. I simply needed to be me.

  The open-air patio was one of the things I loved most about Southern California restaurants. The weather was almost always ideal for eating outside, even if space heaters or sun shades had to be installed to keep it open year-round. This one had made use of multiple water features, which drowned out the sound of the traffic on the nearby freeway.