by Jamie Pope
“I’ll tell you what. Before you head off to that fancy school of yours, we’ll have a marathon and watch all three. We’ll tie Cass to a chair and force her to watch it.”
“You don’t have to force me, boys. Just make sure you supply enough pizza and gummy bears to last six and a half hours.”
“Done,” Wylie said as he sat next to Terrance on the couch.
“You’re back from your date early,” Terrance said to him. “What happened? You sneezed in her food or something?”
“No. We just went out for ice cream. It wasn’t a big deal. What about you? Aren’t you late for your date?”
Cassandra turned completely away from the movies she was studying. “You have a date tonight?”
“Yeah with Terry Jones. But I was thinking about blowing it off.”
“Why?” Both Cassandra and Wylie asked.
He shrugged. “I wanted to hang out with you guys tonight.”
“You can’t miss an opportunity with a girl as fine as Terry Jones. The worst part of graduating from high school is not being able to see that fine girl walk around in her cheerleading uniform. We can hang out tomorrow. I don’t have to work. Tonight you are going out with that girl.”
“She does have amazing legs and arms and everything.” Terrance nodded.
“You ever see her do a full split? I bet she’s real flexible. Bend-y.” Wylie grinned and then caught Cassandra’s eye. “Sorry, Cass. I shouldn’t talk that way around you.”
“Why not? I’m not a baby. I know what goes on with you guys and your dates.”
Wylie and Terrance exchanged a look that spoke a thousand words. Unfortunately, she couldn’t hear any of them. There were times when she felt left out around them. Like they had their own little secret club that she wasn’t a member of. But she couldn’t be upset about it: Wylie made Terrance popular in school and Terrance pushed Wylie to do better. She wasn’t the only one who was going to lose her best friend when he went off to school. She wasn’t sure how the two men would function without each other.
“I’m going to go.” Terrance got up. “Don’t wait up. We’ll hang out tomorrow. Let’s head to the beach at Hammonasset.”
“And get lobster rolls at the Sea Food Shack.”
“And corn dogs,” Cass added. “I can’t leave without a corn dog.”
“You got it.” He winked at her. “We’ll leave at nine tomorrow.”
He ran up the stairs, leaving them, and that brief moment of awkwardness took over as it always did when they were alone together. Maybe awkwardness wasn’t the right word. Awareness was. She was more aware of Wylie James Everett than any other person on the planet.
“Do you want to watch The Princess Bride?” she asked, feeling a little silly, a little jumpy. “There’s Die Hard here too. Or maybe I should just go home.”
“It’s eight o’clock on a Friday night,” Wylie said in his slow Southern drawl. “Why aren’t you out on a date? And The Princess Bride. I like that giant guy.”
“I’m not on a date, because nobody asked me.” She popped the tape in the ageing VCR and sat next to him on the couch. “Why aren’t you on a date? Boys who look like you, Wylie James, don’t just go on short ice-cream dates.”
“Yes, they do. All the time—especially if they want to stay out of trouble. She had a vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles and I had one of them twist cones. We talked about her grandmamma and her little brothers and I took her home.”
“So you’re telling me you didn’t lick ice cream off her naked body in the back of your truck?”
“Cass!” he scolded. “Don’t talk like that.”
“Why not? I’m eighteen years old. I’m going away to college too. If you and Terrance can talk that way, why can’t I?”
“Because you’re a lady, and where I come from, ladies don’t talk like that.”
“You’re not where you came from. You’re where I came from, and I want to know what’s up with this girl. You’ve been out with her three times and your dates are never more than an hour or so. Isn’t she flexible enough?”
“I did not sleep with her, Miss Cass.” He frowned at her, his neck getting a little red. She knew she hit a nerve with him. “I want her to go home and tell her daddy that I am a gentleman. So that’s why nothing has happened.”
“You are for the most part. Why is it so important for this girl to believe it?”
“You know that around here I’m just one step away from being considered white trash.”
“That’s not true!”
He looked her in the eye. “You know it is, Cass. Besides, her father is a carpenter who does really solid work and I want to learn from him. He won’t teach me if I’m screwing around with his daughter.”
“So you don’t even like the girl. You’re just using her to get close to her father.”
“No. I like her just fine. She’s fun to hang out with.”
“Oh.” She didn’t know why, but his answer made her heart feel a little sore. Like it always did whenever he was dating someone.
“‘Oh’? There’s a hell of a lot you just said with that oh.” He took her hand in both of his and stroked his thumb across her palm. It was a simple touch. He didn’t even look at her as he did, his eyes focused on the TV before them, but the touch awakened all her nerves and she felt those tingles that only he ever made her feel. “She’s fun to hang out with, but I really wanted to be here tonight.”
“Why?”
He didn’t answer. Instead he pulled the old blanket the Millers kept on the couch over them and her closer in the process. “Do you have to be home soon?”
“No. My father is away on business and my mother went to Hartford with her friends. She’ll be home late. She has a better social life than I do.”
“I’m sorry about that.” He placed his hand on her bare knee, just inches away from the hem of her sundress.
She swallowed hard. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault I’m dateless.”
“It might be. I might have scared some guys away.”
“You what!”
“Hush.” He pulled her closer, his hand slipping up her dress to her thigh. She nearly jumped at the sensation of his large, rough hand on her skin. He had never touched her like this, never allowed himself to be this close to her. “How do you think I got you to go to senior prom with me?”
“You could have asked!”
“Shh,” he hissed. “We both know I couldn’t have. I had to make sure that no one asked you.”
“Why?”
They heard footsteps on the stairs and jumped away from each other, putting more and more space between them as the steps got closer. Both Mr. and Mrs. Miller appeared, dressed in evening wear.
Mr. Miller was grinning, but Mrs. Miller wasn’t. She had that suspicious look in her eyes, the same one she always had when she found Cassandra and Wylie alone.
“What are you going on about down here, Cassandra?”
“Oh, nothing, Mr. Miller. Wylie just told me he’s a Red Sox fan. I can’t take that.”
“You’re in trouble now, son. Cassandra’s father is a New Yorker, and this is Yankee country. You’ll get your butt kicked around here.”
“I won’t make that mistake again, sir.”
“Where’s Terrance?” Mrs. Miller asked.
“On a date, ma’am. He left just a little while ago.”
“Oh. Okay. We’re going out to dinner in New Haven. We’ll be back late. I would prefer you didn’t leave the house tonight.”
“I won’t, ma’am.”
“And set the alarm after Terrance comes in. He never remembers to.”
“Yes, ma’am. I will. I hope you have a nice time.”
“We will.” She nodded. “Let’s go, dear. It’s a long drive.”
Wylie let out an audible breath when they were gone and left her alone on the couch. “Maybe you should go home, Cass.”
“Why?” She followed him across the room. “We were talking.”
“No. I was about to say something stupid.”
She went to him, wrapping her arms around him, pressing herself against him like she had always wanted to do every time she was near him. He stiffened at first, but only for a moment, before he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I have never wanted to hear something stupid so badly before. Be stupid. Why do you keep guys away from me?”
“You know why.”
“I don’t.”
“I don’t want to see you with anybody else.”
She leaned into him, pressing her lips to his mouth. He kissed her back, letting himself go, sweeping his tongue into her mouth and kissing her so deeply she forgot where she was.
“We can’t do this,” he whispered after breaking their kiss.
“Tell me why we can’t. You’re not serious with that other girl.”
“No, but I can’t do this to Terrance.”
“Do what to him? We are not a couple. He dates other girls all the time. It’s not fair to me. He gets to go out and have fun, but I can’t date anybody because he likes me. He’s going all the way across the country to college, where he’ll meet other girls.”
“You’re right. He will, but he doesn’t just like you. He loves you!”
“But I love you.”
“Don’t say that, Cass.” He shut his eyes as if her words hurt him.
“Why not? It’s true. I love you and I know you love me too. You can’t hide it.”
“I can’t, but I can’t do this to him. We can’t be together.”
“Terrance is my best friend and I love him, but I don’t love him like I love you. I want to be with you.”
He looked at her for a long moment. “It would hurt him.”
“Just for tonight then.” She softly kissed his mouth. “Please. Only we have to know.”
“You’re killing me.”
“And you kill me every time you go out with another girl.”
“I’m sorry. I wish things were different.”
She pulled away from him and grabbed his hand, leading him back to the couch. “Make it up to me. Be my first.”
* * *
“What’s wrong?” Wylie wrapped his arm around her, resting his lips on her shoulder.
“Did I wake you? I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”
“You didn’t wake me up. I can’t fall asleep until you do. What are you thinking about?”
“You.” She turned over to face him. He was bare-chested, slightly bearded and much bigger than the nineteen-year-old boy who made love to her for the first time. But he had been gentle that night and sweet, and even though she felt guilty about thinking about him when she was married to his best friend, she never regretted any bit of their time together.
“Me? I was worried about you today.”
“You’re always worried about me.”
“I am. Even when you were with Terrance, and I knew he was taking care of you better than I ever could, I was worried, but now I’m worried that today was too much for you.”
It was, but she didn’t want to tell him that. “I’m okay. I want to know about your sister. I thought I knew everything about you, but I don’t know anything about her.”
He sighed, turning over on his back to look up at the ceiling. “The damn girl hates me.”
“You don’t seem too fond of her either.”
He looked over at her, one side of his mouth turned up in a slight smile. “Can’t say I am.”
“But you live here to be near her. You must love her.”
“She’s got Teo. That’s why I’m here. They’re all I’ve got.”
She rolled closer to him, about to reach out and touch him. She heard pain in his voice. It might go unnoticed to another person, but she knew him. She knew that Terrance was like his brother, that the Millers were his family, that she had been important to him—and in one day he lost them all.
But he walked out, without a good-bye, without an explanation, without looking back. For so many years she’d hated him for that. So she didn’t touch him like she had first wanted to, because she had always wondered how things would have been if he had never left.
“I’ve been here over a year, but I still don’t know very much about my sister.”
“Did she grow up here?”
“No. My mama dragged her all over the place, trying to find her a new daddy. I don’t know Nova’s history with this place for sure. She was born here. I think she came back here a few times when life with Mama became too crazy. She came here for good when she left Teo’s father. He used to smack her around. I’m glad I never knew about it. Nova bugs the shit out of me, but if I knew that bastard was beating up my sister, I would have killed him.”
“I know you never grew up together, but now that you’ve found each other again, why don’t you get along?”
“I loved my mother, but she was a drunk. The best thing she ever did for me is walk out. My pop may have been poor as piss, but he worked hard and he loved me. And when he died, he sent me to the Millers. I had a better life than Nova and she hates me for that. I don’t want to think about what happened to her when she was a kid. My mother had a lot of boyfriends. . . .” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I make sure she doesn’t bring any jerks around Teo. The kid has a decent shot at being normal. It could be a first for our family.”
“You’re not normal?”
“Aw, hell no, Cass.” In the moonlight she could see his mouth spread into a full grin. “I’m as fucked up as they come.”
“True, you volunteered to babysit the mentally ill, depressed, aging widow of your former best friend. There must be something seriously wrong with you.”
He let out a soft sigh and rolled over so that their bodies were so close that he was nearly on top of her. His lips brushed her forehead, his hands on her back. “I took in my former best friend’s depressed widow, not because I wanted to babysit her, but because I missed her and I wanted to see that girl come back.”
* * *
Wylie pulled into Mansi’s little driveway with Cass by his side. He was going to leave Cass here today while he worked, and he felt nervous as hell about it. He knew she would be fine with Mansi, that the strong woman had raised a truckload of kids and was helping to raise Teo now. But he didn’t want Cass out of his sight.
He had let her go ten years ago. He had walked away from her, from his family. and now she was back in his life, and in his bed at night and at his side all day. It was illogical to think that something was going to happen to her in the few hours he would be working. But he never thought a gunman would go into an elementary school and kill his best friend either.
She might leave him again, when she got better; she might decide to pick up her life and move on somewhere else. He would have to let her go if she wanted. He’d lost all rights to her when he walked away; but right now, while he had her back, he wanted to keep her close as possible.
“I’ll be on the job site all day. I’m teaching some of the guys to make cabinets, but I’ll have my phone on, if you need me. I know Mansi will probably be wanting to feed you herself, but I packed you some snacks and stuff.” He handed her the small, soft cooler, which he sometimes packed his lunch in. “I’m going to come see you around lunchtime. Okay? My number is written on a piece of paper in that bag. Mansi has it too. You call me if you need me.”
She looked at him for a long moment, her face devoid of emotion like it usually was. “I taught kindergarten for nearly ten years and you remind me of all the mothers sending their babies to school for the first time. I’ll be fine, Wylie James. I won’t call you while you’re working.”
It had only been a week since he took her from her house, since he forced her out of her bed, that prison she had confined herself to. She wasn’t herself. She was too skinny and too sad. And too fragile still.
But she wasn’t a baby. And he wasn’t her mother. He was going to have to trust her to be okay.
“What if I want you to call me while I’m working?”
> She surprised him by leaning over and pressing her lips into his cheek. “I will then.”
She opened the door and got out, giving him one last look before she took her cooler and walked herself to Mansi’s front door. He had planned to walk her in, to talk to Mansi, but he stayed in his truck and watched her as she knocked on the door.
Cassandra was right. He was just as bad as those kindergarten mothers watching their kids go off to school. And just like a mother he was proud to watch her leave him, but sad to see her go.
* * *
Her heart was racing faster and faster with each step she took away from Wylie. She wanted to go back to bed and bury her head under the covers and stay there. She didn’t know how to talk to people anymore, how to be around them—when she was with Wylie, she didn’t have to. She could stay safely cocooned in the tiny world he had created for her, but that was no life at all. She may not want to return to the world of the living, but she was going to have to. She couldn’t stay here with Wylie forever. She had learned that as much as he cared for her, it wouldn’t stop him from hurting her. It wouldn’t stop him from leaving. Terrance left her too. Not on purpose, but she realized that no matter how loyal she was, no matter how much she loved a person, there was no guarantee that they would always be there.
Mansi opened the door just as Cassandra had lifted her hand to knock. The older woman again wore her thick, pin-straight, gray hair loose today. It fell down her back, just hitting the top of her flowing, colorfully printed skirt.
“Good morning,” Cass cleared her throat to say. “Wylie sent me here so that you can babysit me.”
Mansi grinned at her. “I hope you’re potty trained, because if you’re not, that’s going to cost the boy double.” She stepped aside. “Come in, girly. My shows are just starting. I hope you like talk shows. And if you don’t, I hope you brought a book.”
Mansi’s home was an eclectic mix of fifties-style furniture and beautiful artwork that she collected over the years. The little gingerbread cottage was nothing like the stately home she was used to in Harmony Falls, and it was nothing like Wylie’s beachy house, but it was warm. The pictures of the children she raised lined almost every inch of the wall.