by Jamie Pope
Cassandra absently touched her belly, her mind going back to the moment she placed the framed picture of her first sonogram on the wall in Terrance’s office. She had told him that was going to be the first of many pictures. She had joked that she was going to take his diplomas down just so they could have extra picture space.
“I had four children,” Mansi said as she settled into her easy chair. “Two of them ended up in California. My oldest boy is in the Navy, and my youngest, Bobby, Nova’s father, is dead. I loved that boy, but he was no good. Got that from his father’s side. If he had taken after me, he would have been up for sainthood by now. But that’s life for you. You hope and plan for things, but they never turn out the damn way you expected. Now hush. My show is starting.”
Mansi only said a few words to her in the next few hours. She fed her popcorn and kept her glass filled with sugary iced tea, but she didn’t talk much. She didn’t ask her why she was here, or how she knew Wylie. She didn’t attempt to make awkward small talk. The woman was just there and it was nice. Nice not to be alone that day. It was nice to be in a new place, doing something different.
“Alabama is a good man,” Mansi said out of nowhere after one of her court shows had gone off the air.
“He is,” Cassandra agreed.
“He built me this house, you know.”
“I know. It’s very beautiful.”
“I think he did it because he’s worried about that sister of his. He’s worried she’ll take after her mother and leave Teo. So he built this house for me so Teo can have a nice place to grow up, just in case she takes off.”
“Are you worried about the same thing?”
Mansi looked toward an old picture of a little girl in pigtails hanging on her wall. “Sometimes. Nova is young. All the women in my family had their babies young. I was seventeen when I had my first. But then again, I was married and I wanted a baby. I wanted to be a mother. Teo was an accident. A beautiful little accident, but an accident created by a rebellious girl and a man who shouldn’t be around wild animals, much less children. But Nova loves her boy. She’s a hellion, but she loves that boy deeply. She loves Alabama too. She’d rather pull her toenails out than admit it, but she loves him and she trusts him. And she don’t trust anybody.”
“He loves her too,” Cassandra said softly. “I’m glad he has her. He needs a family.”
“He’s got one.” She nodded. “He’s not my blood, but he’s my grandson now too. Call him.” She handed her the phone. “And go take a nap. You look sleepy.” She turned her attention back to the TV. “The People’s Court is on next and I can’t have you snoring through it. There’s a little bedroom in the back.”
* * *
Cassandra knew when she had been dismissed, so she left the living room and found the tiny bedroom in the back of the house. It was only big enough for a twin-sized bed and a sewing table, but it had a view of a little garden. In the distance she could make out the ocean through the trees.
She wondered if Terrance would like it here. For a split second she had forgotten that he wasn’t alive anymore, that she couldn’t pick up the phone to reach him. He had so many plans for them. So many places he wanted to take her and their child.
He had the plans, not her. When she married him, all of her plans went out the window. Because she had never planned on marrying him. Or staying in Harmony Falls. Or having his baby. She had walked down the aisle in love with somebody else. But he left her. And Terrance had stayed. And Terrance had loved her so much and had treated her so well. She owed it to him to be a good wife and to go along with his plans and support his dreams. She owed it to him because even though she loved him, she didn’t love him like he deserved to be loved.
The guilt had eaten at her for years, but it had disappeared when he died, only to be replaced by heavy despair. Now that the despair was lifting, she felt the guilt returning because Wylie had returned. She couldn’t help but wonder what Terrance would think about that.
The phone rang, making her jump. She forgot she was holding it. She was too caught up in her own thoughts. She absently answered it after the first ring.
“Cass?”
“Hi, Wylie.”
“Were you ever going to call me?” he complained. “I feel like a teenaged girl waiting for a boy to call.”
“Good. I want you to suffer a little.”
“I bet you mean that too.”
“I do.”
“You’re a little edgy,” he said, then paused. “I’ve always liked that about you. How are you, Cass?”
“I’m fine, Wylie James. Mansi is being good to me.”
“I know she is. I’m going to come round and see you later.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know. But I want to.”
“Okay then.”
“Okay then,” he said back softly. “Good-bye, Cass.”
He disconnected and she kept the phone to her ear for a few moments after he was gone.
Wylie James had come back. Wylie James was treating her so well. She lay down in the little twin bed and drifted off to sleep, thinking about him.
* * *
Wylie slipped his phone back in his pocket and returned his attention to cabinets that he was making, only to see Tanner there studying his work.
“These are solid. They’ll last this family a hundred years, but it would have been a hell of a lot faster, not to mention cheaper, if we just bought a set and put them up.”
“I know, but I make these cabinets so the guys can learn the skill. We’re not here just to put up some houses.”
“I know. We’re here to teach. It’s just not like any other construction job I’ve worked. I’ve been here a few months now and it’s still hard to get used to everything.”
“It’s hard as hell going from seeing action in Afghanistan to doing electrical work on an island in New England.”
Tanner stared off into space for a moment as if he were reliving something. “For years I was off American soil. It’s always good to be home, but I kind of miss being away. You ever get that feeling? I got so used to my life being abnormal that normal doesn’t feel right anymore.”
“Hell yeah, I know what you’re talking about. Regular just don’t feel quite right.”
Tanner nodded. “You were talking to Cassandra just now?”
“Yeah. She’s going through a rough time. I was just making sure she was doing all right.”
“She’s that teacher, isn’t she? The one who was shot in that school.”
“How did you know?” He never told anyone about his connection with Cassandra and Terrance. It had been too hard to talk about.
“Her face was all over television after it happened. She looks different now, but she’s got the kind of eyes that are hard to forget.”
“Yeah,” Wylie said, thinking about them. Her eyes used to have a spark in them. Happiness. Now they were mostly blank, and when they weren’t, they were sad, haunted.
“Your sister told me that you grew up with rich folks in Connecticut, but you never went back there because of some girl. Is Cassandra that girl?”
“You were talking about me with Nova?” Tanner and Nova were like oil and water. Couldn’t be around each other without some kind of argument breaking out. What the hell were they doing, talking about him?
Tanner shrugged. “She’s got a big mouth, and, frankly, there’s not much to do on this island. Listening to her complain about you is entertaining.”
“If you don’t like it here, why don’t you move on? Go back home?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere until every one of these houses is complete. Plus I think I need quiet for a while. I never had much quiet in my life. Even my childhood was noisy.”
“Hey, Tanner,” one of their youngest workers, Jimmy, called to him. “There’s an outlet sparking in Mrs. Wright’s house. Can you come check it out?”
“Did you turn off the power?” he asked as he strode tow
ard the door.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He touched the kid’s shoulder as they walked out. “You’re about to fix it.”
Tanner was a good electrician and an amazing mentor to the men who were in the program. But Wylie didn’t know much about the man. Nothing about his family or his service or where he came from. He only knew that just like Wylie, Tanner had some invisible scars from war. And beneath his good nature lay a man with demons that would be hard as hell to get rid of.
Chapter 8
Cassandra awoke when she felt something touch her hand. She didn’t open her eyes at first. She didn’t want to. The sun was warm on her face. The air coming from the open window smelled faintly of the ocean. It was the first time, in a long time, that she didn’t want to wake up because she was comfortable and warm, rather than not wanting to wake up because she had nothing worth waking up for.
“Are you sure you’re not sick?” she heard a young voice ask. She opened her eyes to see Teo sitting on the small twin bed beside her, hugging his thin little legs to his chest. He still had his shoes on, his knees were scraped and a Band-Aid half hung on one of them. Immediately that awful pang hit her in the chest, and her stomach lurched. He reminded her so much of one of the little boys she had in her class. He would be starting second grade. Her whole class would be going into second grade. She had missed a whole school year of teaching.
“Get your dirty feet off the bed.” She closed her eyes and rolled over, away from him.
“Oh, yeah.” She heard two thuds on the wood floor, and instead of Teo going away, she felt his small, warm body press closer to hers. “Mansi will swat me if she sees me with my shoes on the bed. She don’t even let me sit on the good couch. Said I can’t sit on it till I’m sixteen.”
“That’s because you’ll get it dirty. You should probably take a bath.”
“No thanks. Uncle Wylie is going to take me swimming. I’ll get clean in the ocean.”
“Soap. Shampoo. Toothpaste.” She said this without opening her eyes. “Children need to use those things.”
“I use them. Sometimes.” She felt his hands on her side and then his knees on her hip. When she opened her eyes, she found him curled up before her, staring up at her like she was some kind of mutant. “You didn’t answer me. Are you sure you’re not sick? My mom says you’re not supposed to ask people that. She says it’s rude. But I don’t know why. When Mr. Otis got cancer, everybody was whispering about it and treating him so nice. They wasn’t nice to him before, because he was a mean old jackass. But he got cancer and everybody’s nice, and they always whisper about him being sick.”
“Don’t say ‘jackass.’”
“My mom used to call him a shithead. She said I couldn’t say that, but I could say ‘jackass’ because it’s not so bad.”
“You can’t say either!”
“Okay,” he relented. “I can’t say them because you’re sick.”
“I’m not sick! I already told you that.”
“Yeah, but you said you just didn’t like little boys. I know that’s not true. Everybody likes me.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, my mom told me.”
There was something charming about this kid. There was something about him that she couldn’t yet put her finger on.
“Why do you think I’m sick, Teo? Do I look that bad?”
“Let me see.” He took her face in his hands and peered into her eyes. “You should wear some makeup. My mom says all ladies over a certain age need some makeup, but you’re not ugly or nothing. I was asking because Mansi says not to bother you because you’re going through something now.”
“If your great-grandmother told you not to bother me, why are you here?”
“Because I wanted to know about you. I’ve never seen Uncle Wylie with a lady before, and you live with him, and he’s never told me about you.”
“We grew up next door to each other. Your uncle was my very good friend. You’ve never seen him with a girlfriend?” She hated herself for asking, but she couldn’t help it. How Wylie had spent his time after he left was a total mystery to her.
“Nope. He’s not like my mom. She goes on dates sometimes.”
“Does she tell you about them?”
“No, but I think that’s why she leaves me with Mansi all the time. She says she works, but I heard Miss Taylor say she needs her nights free so she can go on dates.”
“Oh. Are you sure you’re not forty-five years old? You sound like a very mature man.”
“Yeah.” He grinned at her, showing off his missing teeth. “I’m just five, you know.”
“I’m not sick, Teo. I’m sad. My husband died and I’m very, very sad. That’s why Mansi told you to stay away from me. That’s why your uncle brought me here. He doesn’t want me to be sad anymore.”
“Oh. My dad is dead, but I’m not sad about it. He was a bum.”
“Did your mother tell you that?”
“Yeah. She tells me a lot of stuff. She calls me at night when I stay here.”
“Do you stay here a lot, Teo?”
“All the time. I get on my mom’s nerves. Mansi don’t mind me so much.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, but she got a glimpse into Teo’s relationship with his mother—and she wasn’t sure that she liked it.
“Teo!” Wylie barked. He was standing in the doorway, frowning down at them. “Your great-grandmamma told me she sent you outside to play. What are you doing in here bothering Cass?”
“I’m not bothering her. Right, Cass?”
“You call her Miss Cass, boy. Where I’m from, you don’t call adults by their first names. You understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Now go outside like Mansi told you.”
“Yes, sir.” Teo’s face fell a little. Cassandra had wanted him to go. Children and being around them—it was too much for her, but Cass was almost sad to see Teo go.
“Teo,” she said softly as she grabbed him and pulled him close so that she could speak into his ear. “You don’t have to stay away from me just because I’m sad. It’s okay to see me.”
He looked up at her, with his deep brown eyes wide. “I don’t want to make Uncle Wylie mad.”
“Don’t worry about him. Just don’t stay away.”
“Okay, Miss Cass. Good-bye.”
He jumped off the bed, grabbed his shoes and ran out the door.
“Are you all right, Cass?” Wylie came to sit next to her on the bed, the concern in his eyes hard to miss. For the first time she felt herself a tiny bit annoyed by it. She wasn’t going to break. But then she remembered, she did break. She spent so much of the past year broken. But she knew that time had come to an end.
* * *
Wylie watched Cassandra that night as she smoothed lotion on her legs. She wasn’t being intentionally seductive. In fact, he was positive that she didn’t even notice that he couldn’t take his eyes off her as she rubbed the cream into her pretty brown skin. She was still too thin for his taste, her eyes too sad and her hair still hung limply around her shoulders, but she turned him on. He felt guilty for wanting a grieving woman so bad his teeth hurt. He felt guilty that he was going to bed each night with the widow of his best friend. But it never left the back of his mind that he was her first love, her first time with a man. Before there had been Terrance and Cassandra, there had been Wylie and Cass. Before the world told him he couldn’t have her, he had planned never to let Cass go.
“Will you take me to the store tomorrow?” She placed his lotion on the nightstand and sat back against the headboard.
“Of course. I’ll bring you right after work. What do you need?”
“Lotion. I don’t smell like me anymore.”
“No.” He crawled onto the bed next to her. He couldn’t help himself. He placed his nose in the crook of her neck and inhaled her. Her skin was so soft, so smooth, that his lips just glided over it. “You smell like me. That’s not a bad thing.”
>
He placed his hand on her thigh, knowing he was going just a little further than he should. He wasn’t sure if she noticed the effect she had on him. He had slept beside her every night for over a week. He’d spent every moment of the day with her, but he hadn’t seen her today. Not for long hours—and he couldn’t shut off his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. He had missed her for ten years. There was a time when he thought he would never see her again, but now that she was beside him, he didn’t want to give her space or let her go. He just wanted to do all those things he had thought about doing with her for the past ten years. He wanted to get back those feelings he had when they were together so long ago. When he was with her, it was the only time in his life when he was ever truly happy.
He slid his hand under her nightgown, just so he could feel her skin. She stiffened very slightly, but didn’t react otherwise.
Calm down, he ordered himself. Stop it. She loved Terrance. She loves Terrance.
And so do you.
She looked up at him, into his eyes. “I think I would like to get some makeup too.”
“Why?” He slid his hand to her cheek, brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. “You don’t need any.”
“I look like shit.” She said it so matter-of-factly that it caused him to laugh.
“No, baby.” He pressed his lips to her cheek. “You don’t. You’re beautiful.”
“You’re the one who said I looked like shit.”
He kissed her again. “I just said that because I hated to see you so damn miserable.”
“Teo asked me again if I was sick. He suggested some makeup. I think he’s right.”
Wylie let out a soft curse. “I’m sorry he bothered you today. I won’t let it happen again.”
“He was fine. You were the one that was bothering me. I think you were too hard on him today.”
“What?” He narrowed his eyes at her. “That boy needs to learn to mind his elders and show adults some respect. If I don’t teach him the right way while he’s young, who will?”
“You’re right. But Teo thinks I’m sick because you are so protective of me. When you and Mansi tell him to stay away, he thinks I’m frail. You’re treating me like I’m frail.”