Slave in Training

by Danny Tyran

  To bring an end to that game, he held one arm above his head. I couldn’t see how I was expected to get my cock into his hand at that height unless I climbed onto his shoulders. I knelt on the top of his backrest, hoping I wouldn’t fall or tilt the chair and my master with it. I stretched my cock as best I could, but I was unable to reach his hand.

  “Come on, Max. Obey, now!”

  I didn’t care about a possible punishment for my failure. But I did care a lot about displeasing him. I wanted so much to get there. I looked around for a solution, even going so far as climbing down again, removing all the objects from the nightstand and climbing on top of it. But even with the added height, I was still too far from my goal. The only option left was his shoulders. Would they support me?

  “Faster! You only have twenty seconds left.”

  I checked the ceiling , hoping there was a hook to attach a rope to. There was one, but now where to find a rope? I quickly checked in one of the drawers of the dresser where I had seen my master stash erotic toys and finally found one long enough. I climbed onto the back of the seat and stretched my arms. But then I heard my master call “twenty.” Too late. I wanted to try anyway, but my master stood up. I jumped to the ground, thus avoiding falling with the seat.

  Heading toward his bed, my master made a crooked-finger sign to follow. He undressed. The sight of my master lying naked on his bed made me mad with desire. The last time, I thought. Whenever this idea touched me, I felt like screaming in pain. I approached the bed.

  My cock was on fire. His was huge, imperious, conquering. We embraced, and I kissed him for a long time, with pleasure, trying to put into my kisses all the sunshine of my summer with him, all the ardor of our moonlit nights. In sinuous movements, almost ophidian, I wrapped him with my body and wrapped myself with his. His flesh’s softness, firmness and taste, its smell, his hand’s electric touch, the magic of his every move bewitched me. The last time. No! Oh, please, no!

  “Oh my Lord! Master! Don’t chase me away. I won’t survive our parting. Master, save me!”

  “Shhh!”

  “I love you so much!”

  We made love all night, as if the first day hadn’t yet been created and after that night, there would be nothing, just an endless void, an infinite nothingness. Somewhere in the middle of our lovemaking, my master asked me to promise him something without him telling me what it was. I was drunk with his presence, ready to promise anything, to give him everything.

  “Whatever you want, my Lord and Master,”, I said. “I promise.”

  “From now on, I don’t want to see you cry or hear you beg me to stay. You’ve just promised me, Max. You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself, about your fate. Be brave. Do it for my sake. If you love me as much as you tell me, you’ll be able to do it.”

  I listened to what he asked while gazing at him with tears in my eyes. Then I realized that nothing in the world would convince him to keep me with him, that the demonstration of my love was only convincing him even more of his duty to send me away. I had to go. I must go.

  Wiping my eyes, I shut all my suffering away into a dark corner at the back my mind, double locked it and threw away the key. Then I started to kiss him again, making love to him frantically without giving him time to catch his breath between each pleasure. I clung to him as if he were a lifeline. If I let go for a moment, I was sure, I’d perish.

  He wouldn’t see me cry though. In his view, the acceptance of his decision to go away was the supreme proof of my love for him.

  Don’s response to my question, “What was the most difficult thing that our master required of you?” came back to my mind. But I had made a promise to my Lord and Master. I would keep it. I was leaving. But I would never forget him. No one ever forgot James Teka.

  Chapter 27

  When a deceptive sun rose, my exhausted master finally fell asleep in my arms. I closed my eyes, hoping never to have to reopen them again.

  I awoke and heard Johnny’s voice. Why was he here? Then I remembered my last night of love and my promise. I was alone in my master’s bed. I got up and went to the dining room where I found him sitting at the table with Jerry and Johnny. They were all eating their breakfast.

  “You should have woken me, Master. You shouldn’t have to prepare your own meals.”

  “You were sleeping so well. And it wasn’t I who prepared this meal, but Johnny. He needs to go to Mexico for a press conference and other matters. He will accompany you to New Mexico.”

  “How are you, boy?” Johnny asked.

  I glanced at him, then gazed at my master for a long time while I felt the excruciating pain trying to dig its way out again from the depths of my mind where I had it locked away. I must not cry. I had to prove to my master all the love I had for him. But at that moment, something inside me broke. I felt an icy wave flooding my heart and mind. I faced the table, spread my legs and clasped my hands behind my back. “I’m okay, Sir,” I replied, in a voice I didn’t recognize.

  “You made him promise not to cry or beg for your mercy, didn’t you?”

  My master murmured, “Yes.”

  “You ask too much of them, James. This kid loves you. Don’t you know what such a promise must cost him?”

  I lowered my head, trying to catch my breath, so I could resume my life without tears.

  “I know, Johnny.”

  “Go get yourself something to eat, kid,” Johnny ordered.

  While alone in the kitchen, I didn’t shed one tear. I filled my plate like a robot would. I unplugged my brain’s “feeling” area and no longer existed as a man, but as a machine, because if I had to be a man again, I’d self-immolate in this room, out of love for a man who wanted to see me leave.

  I ate my meal alongside the masters, whose discussions I had no awareness of. I was elsewhere, anywhere, nowhere, in a day not yet created. Mouthful after mouthful I swallowed, emptying my plate at the same slow, hypnotic pace. Soon, I reached my fork down into an empty plate. Had I eaten everything? I went to place my plate in the dishwasher and then I collected the masters’ empty plates and cutlery.

  When I returned once again, I asked them if they needed anything else. Jerry wanted another cup of coffee. I went into the kitchen to brew another coffee pot. I brought it and a pot holder to place under it on the table after filling Jerry’s cup. I had performed these tasks hundreds of times ever since coming to my master’s. I was able to do them without even thinking.

  “You don’t look too good, Max,” Jerry commented. “You sure you’re not sick?”

  “Yes, I’m sure,” I replied, smiling. My smile must have looked funny, because Johnny put his hand on my shoulder and told me to face him. My head rotated as if on ball-bearings.

  “James,” Johnny protested, throwing a stern glare in my master’s direction. It was the first time I saw him looking at my master in this dour way.

  “It’s nothing, Sir.” I interjected. “It’s only temporary. I’ll be fine as soon as I get a breath of fresh air...”

  Johnny caressed my cheek with a worried look. I was suffocating. I asked permission to go outside for a moment. “Go with him, Jerry,” my master ordered.

  We went out to the rear of the house. I took a few steps and noticed the grass was too long. This lawn will need mowing soon, one last time before winter. I threw up all my breakfast.

  “Listen, Max. If you’re sick, you must tell your master. He’ll delay your departure until another time.”

  “No, Sir. Please. There is nothing wroa ng with me that one or two more days could fix.”

  “You don’t want to go, huh, kid?”

  “If you must know, all this is extremely difficult for me. In comparison, my trial day was a piece of cake. The idea of leaving my master kills me. I know that when I’m gone, he’ll give you notice. But his life is in danger. I feel I am abandoning him to certain death. I’m so scared for him. I want us to live together forever or to die together.”

  “I’ll try to convince him
to keep me in his service until Helena is captured.”

  “Thank you. I hope he’ll accept your offer, but I doubt it. I feel a little better now, so we should return to the house. Please, don’t tell him that I vomited, nor that I told you of my desire to stay and my fear. He made me promise not to... try...”

  “Don’t worry, Max.”

  We went back inside. Jerry threw an arm around my shoulders and we entered the living-room where the two masters were now sitting.

  “Go and get dressed, Max,” my master ordered. “Wear your jeans, a T -shirt and your leather jacket. You won’t need any other clothes. I will keep all your stuff here, in a trunk. When your contract is over, you can come and pick them up.”

  I nodded and followed his instructions. After putting my plane ticket into the pocket of my jacket, I went back into the living-room. Johnny was already standing, car keys in hand, ready to go.

  I approached my master and knelt before him, knees apart, hands behind my back. The last time. “Thank you so much for everything you have given me, Master. Please, forgive all my mistakes, all the suffering I caused you.” I leaned over and kissed his feet. The last time! I straightened.

  My master stroked my head. “I have so little to forgive you for, Max. Thank you for all the happiness you gave me. Take care of yourself, son. If anything is the matter, if you think that not everything is going as it should, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll help you, as much as I can.”

  “Thank you, Master. Be careful. Don’t take any unnecessary risks, please.”

  “Don’t worry, Max. Everything will be fine for you and for me. Go now.”

  “Goodbye, Max!” Jerry called out.

  “Adieu. Take care of yourself and him, Sir.”

  Jerry smiled. He stayed inside with my master, while Johnny and I left.

  I wanted to retrace my steps, walk back inside, go back a few months earlier, and do everything all over again. I wouldn’t even mind having to put up with other days like the one of my test if it kept me close to my master.

  I wanted to kill Helena. If it hadn’t been for her, I could have spent all my academic years with him. And who knows, he might have decided to let me live with him for good then. I’d have become his servant, his lackey. Whatever, I didn’t care. If I had my way, I’d be serving him until he became a very, very old gentleman.

  I asked Johnny if he wanted me to drive. He refused. I rode in the front next to him. When the car moved away, I thought I saw a shadow in the window of the entrance hallway. But I probably imagined it.

  All the way to the airport, I dreamed about what my life might be like as my master’s servant. Those thoughts comforted me a little.

  “You are very quiet,” Johnny muttered.

  “I just left the only man I loved, and the only one I will ever love. I don’t feel like chatting. I’m sorry, Sir.”

  “Oh, boy! I know how you feel. You’re not the first one to have his heart broken, you know. Look, once things are settled with Helena, and if you still feel the same way, I can try to convince James to buy you back from this guy whose name I don’t even remember.”

  “Please don’t, Sir. If he doesn’t want to buy me back, I don’t want him to feel forced to do it. If I am meant to be called to his service, I want it to be of his own accord. He doesn’t want me begging him for mercy; I won’t do it, not even by proxy.”

  “You and James, you’re like two peas in a pod. As stubborn and proud as each other.”

  “He never stopped trying to make me lose my pride.”

  “Yeah, but he may not be the best teacher for that. You know, I think his heart is mush too, but he never would have shown it to you. He knew how hard it was for you, already.”

  Johnny told me that someone would be waiting for me at the Albuquerque airport. My master had sent several pictures of me to my new owners, so they would be able to recognize me. People in their position would definitely not come to pick up a slave themselves. Most likely, they would send an employee.

  We arrived just in time to check in before the plane’s departure. Johnny let me have the window seat. When the plane took off, I stared as the ground slipped away, each moment separating me a little more from my master. Were we really getting closer to heaven or was heaven rather down there, in that little house that was already disappearing from sight?

  Closing my eyes for a moment, I imagined that two years had passed and instead of taking me to New Mexico, the plane was bringing me back home, to my master. Two years!

  I relived the halcyon moments with my master, as well as the most difficult ones. Then I told myself that it wasn’t too polite to isolate myself in my memories and remain silent. “Sir,” I began. “What Helena said about one of your slaves who died in an attack, was it true?”

  “As I admitted during your test, yes, it’s true. But it was quite different from what happened to Gabrielle. As you know, I’m a freelance journalist. And I had slaves in training for years. In 1973, shortly before Pinochet’s takeover, I went to Chile. Damien, my slave at that time, usually followed me everywhere. I hesitated to take him with me on that occasion, because the political situation was too unstable, too dangerous. But Damien feared for my life and insisted on accompanying me. In the end, I gave up. I shouldn’t have. We were captured and tortured. Our guards believed that Damien was my younger brother or my son, I don’t know which exactly. In a sense, he was both. I loved that kid.”

  Johnny paused, taking a while to find the courage to continue. He was visibly disturbed by the memories that his narrative had evoked. When he continued, his voice was hoarse and even more low-pitched than usual. “They tortured him in front of me, hoping that it would force me to reveal secrets that I didn’t possess. I never knew who those men were who kidnapped us. Policemen? Soldiers? Revolutionaries trying to ensure we didn’t work against them? I’ve never found out. All I knew was that Damien died because of my stupidity and other men’s madness. The day after his death, my guards took me out of my cell to torture me again, but they were attacked, and I managed to escape. The American press wanted to buy my story, but I never accepted their offer. I couldn’t sell my child’s death. During the flight back home, I didn’t have time to think about what I left behind. But then... I... I... “

  “He saved your life, Sir.”

  “No, he didn’t! If he had stayed at home, he’d still be alive today.”

  “Sir, if you were alone, it’s you that they’d have tortured and put to death. Or, if you had managed to stay alive through all that torture, you’d have been too weak to run away when the chance came. He died for you.”

  “You’re so romantic, Max.”

  “Don’t you dare claim he died for nothing,” I threw cruelly at him, my teeth clenched, tears clouding my eyes.

  Johnny didn’t respond. He turned to face the aisle. When he looked at me again, his eyes were bloodshot. I wanted to ask for his forgiveness, and console him; instead, I smiled. “He was lucky,” I concluded.

  He shouted, “How can you call him lucky? He’s dead!” All the passengers around us looked at him worriedly.

  “He was luckier than I am,” I asserted, stubbornly.

  “You’re alive, Max. You can do what you will with your life at the end of this contract.”

  “What I want is to spend my whole life with James Teka. But James Teka does not want me.”

  “He couldn’t keep you near him. You know that pretty well. He wouldn’t make the same mistake as I did and risk your life by letting you coax him with your wishful request.”

  “He wouldn’t have kept me close to him, even if Helena hadn’t disappeared, and you know it.”

  “If we weren’t on this plane, I’d show you that slaves don’t criticize their masters’ decisions as you just did.”

  “Do it, Sir. Punish me. I’m not ashamed of what I am. And it would add a little spice to the journey for of all these people who seem so bored. Or would you prefer to go into the washroom. It’s a little crampe
d for two people, but for a blowjob, we should be fine.”

  “A blo...! That would be too great a privilege for you. You just left your master and you’re already thinking of cheating on him.”

  “My master is in New Mexico. He doesn’t know me yet. I’m not cheating on anyone. And James Teka always asked me to serve his friends as well as himself. Why not you? You’re his best friend, right?”

  Johnny was nervous. He looked around, no doubt fearing eavesdroppers. He slid a finger under his collar; he was hot. But I could see that he felt like doing it.

  “Don’t you wa...”

  “Shut up, little slut!”

  I laughed. Was it really me, Max Lemay, who managed to fake laughter in this plane flying toward the United States? I turned to face the window. Clouds lay beneath us. The sun was shining at its brightest as it always did at this height. How many miles was I from home now? Tears were streaming down my cheeks even though I hadn’t been aware of my sorrow’s return. I struggled to send it back where it came from. I was trembling.

  “Max.”

  The voice seemed so distant. The music that had been playing yesterday while I read to my master sounded much stronger to me.

  “Max. Look at me.”

  I turned my head toward him mechanically, as I had done just before leaving, while I was still only a few steps from the man I loved. Johnny saw my wet eyes, my shaking shoulders.

  “Oh, Max! To think that for a minute I believed you’d already forgotten him.”

  “Never!”

  “I know he’s right to want you away from him, but I can’t understand how he managed to break up with someone who loves him so much. Maybe all this passion, this reverence you feel for him, scared him.”

  “You remember that terrible story you told us about the guy without arms or legs?”

  “Yes.”

  “He was more whole than I am. Because my soul has been torn from me. I’d rather be like that guy. What would my master have had to fear from me then? He couldn’t have chased me.”

  “You’re hurting yourself, kid. Try to think of sunny New Mexico and all the people you’ll meet in your new life.”