Adam could tell the second she saw him. Watching her lips curve downward and her pretty blue eyes narrow made him want to turn around and walk back out. Instead, he straightened his shoulders and put a smile on his face.
He walked up to the counter and watched Abby help the older gentleman. She was all smiles as she waved goodbye to her customer, but when she glanced back at Adam her smile was gone.
Finally, he sucked in a breath. It was now or never.
“Hi, Abby.”
His greeting was initially met with silence, just a raising of one eyebrow as she studied him.
After what seemed like eternity, she finally spoke. “Adam.”
“How are you?”
Abby crossed her arms. “Good. You?
“I’m…okay.”
“What brings you in?”
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Her reaction was frostier than he’d hoped. He didn’t exactly blame her, but it sure made this a lot harder.
“I wanted to apologize for, well, everything. I handled things so poorly and I want you to know how truly sorry I am.”
Adam could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to process what he had just said.
“Now that it’s years later, I can finally say I’m genuinely happy for you and Max, and things worked out in spite of me being a total jerk.”
Suspicion crossed Abby’s features. “What made you apologize after all these years?”
“We found out my dad is dying. It’s sort of been a wake-up call for me to make a few changes in my life.”
Abby gasped and her eyes immediately filled with tears. She had always gotten along really well with his parents. “I’m so sorry. What is it? How long does he have?”
“Pancreatic cancer. Not long. It shocking how fast it’s happening.”
His heart ached just thinking of his dad and how quickly the cancer was taking its toll. It was the hardest thing he’d ever been through.
“I don’t know what to say. He’s just so young. I’m so sorry.” She paused and then asked, “How are your mom and sister holding up?”
Adam shrugged. “As good as can be expected.”
Abby nodded, the sympathy on her face made him want to break down, but he had to get through this conversation and move on with his life.
He forced a smile on his face and changed the subject. “So how are you, really? How’s Max?”
“We’re doing well. Expecting our second child in a few months.”
Adam’s eyes looked toward her belly, which he now noticed looked rounded, and then looked back up to her eyes. “Your second?”
Abby nodded. “Callie is already over two years old.”
“Congratulations. I’m really happy for you both.”
Abby studied him for a few seconds and then finally gave him a smile. “Thank you.”
“I appreciate you taking the time to hear me out. I really am sorry for how badly I behaved. You deserved a lot better.”
“Thank you, Adam. I moved on with my life. I hope you can do the same and find some happiness in yours.”
“Me too.”
“I’m really sorry about your dad.”
“Yeah.” He nodded and took a breath. “Well, I took enough of your time, so I’ll get going. But, I think I’ll surprise my co-workers. Could you box up a couple dozen treats?”
“Sure.”
As he walked out the door of the bakery, he turned back around and gave Abby one more glance. She was staring after him with a genuine smile, which was a lot better than the look she gave him when he first walked in the door that morning.
He gave a little wave and left with a grin.
*****
Abby had a kid. And another on the way. What would that be like to have a family?
He shook his head, trying to envision what her life was like, and he realized he had no idea how it would feel to have a wife and child. He’d gotten a glimpse of it when he thought Amber was his daughter, but that was so short-lived that he never had time to process it.
Getting closure with Abby felt good. Really good. He needed that with Jennifer, too.
The last time he saw her, they found out he wasn’t Amber’s father. He was so confused and too upset to do anything other than walk away.
Now?
He needed to know how she was. Had she found Amber’s father? Did they have a relationship? He was convinced that if he was able to just talk to Jennifer, see how she and Amber were doing and closed that chapter in his life, maybe then, he wouldn’t be so scared to have more than just a casual relationship.
There was only one problem. He had no idea where Jennifer was and he was having a hell of a time finding her.
When he tried calling her number, some Russian-speaking person answered the phone. Adam was glad the man knew enough English to tell him it was now his number as of a year ago.
After that, he started searching online. The last he saw her she was in California. He was pretty sure she was no longer there but he didn’t know where she was now because his only connection to her was his sister and she wouldn’t tell him a damn thing.
Adam ran his hands through his hair and blew out a deep breath. Where the hell could she be? He was beginning to think he’d need to ask his sister, but just the thought made him sweat.
After trying every trick in the book, Adam decided his sister was his last resort.
*****
“Come on, Mandi! Please give me her number.”
Adam wasn’t ashamed to be begging. He asked her to come have lunch with him in hopes of being able to pry the information out of her while she ate a nice meal at Granite City. It was one of her favorite places to meet him for lunch.
“Nope. Sorry, bro. Can’t do it.”
She zipped her lips with her finger before taking another bite of her salad.
“I just want to talk to her. See how she is, but I can’t find her.”
“Adam, she’s been very clear with her wishes. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“I need to do this to move on, Mandi. Have a heart.” He paused and took a deep breath. “It has a lot to do with dad.”
Mandi gave a sympathetic click of her tongue. “I get it. I do. But she doesn’t want to talk to you. Hell, she doesn’t even want to hear your name.”
She doesn’t want to hear my name?
“I know I could have handled things better, but I’m not totally to blame here.”
She narrowed her eyes, and stared at him in silence.
Am I finally getting to her?
“I agree, but I’m following her wishes. I can try to work it into the conversation that you want to talk to her, but nothing more.”
“Well, that’s something, I guess. Give her my number if you do that.”
She shook her head. “I make no promises. Sorry, bro.”
“Understood.” Adam smiled at his sister. “And thanks, Mandi. I appreciate you even trying.”
Mandi sighed. “You know I’m stuck in the middle here, right? Between my best friend and my brother?”
Adam nodded. He figured it was worth any grief she’d give him if he had a chance to talk to Jennifer one last time.
*****
That evening, Sarah texted him, asking him to stop over. He smiled as he walked up to her door.
Okay, sure, he was ready to grow up. But he wasn’t quite ready to give up his fling with Sarah.
As he was just about to her apartment door and was raising his hand to knock, her door opened. Adam’s eyes widened as he took in her naked body, a seductive smile on her face.
Holy. Shit.
“Well, hello, handsome. You caught me just getting out of the shower.”
Adam winked at her. “Then I have perfect timing.”
Sarah grinned and grabbed his arm to pull him inside.
They barely made it to her bedroom.
A couple hours later, Adam was getting dressed when she asked a question that stopped him in his track
s.
“So, handsome. Why don’t you just spend the night instead of running off?”
Adam tried to play off the question with a wave of his hand and a simple response. “You know that isn’t our thing.”
Sarah’s lip turned out in a sexy pout. “I know, I just thought it would be fun. Make your morning start out right.”
Adam looked up and met her eyes as he continued to button up his jeans. He was still overheated so his t-shirt still remained on the floor. The cool breeze from the ceiling fan felt good on his bare chest as he pondered how to respond.
He didn’t know what to say, so he muttered, “Hmm.”
“You know, we’ve been seeing each other for almost two months now, right?”
Crap. “Has it been that long?”
Sarah nodded. “And my divorce is final now.”
He leaned down to pick up his shirt. He could tell where this was headed and he shook his head, regret filling him.
“And I guess what I’m trying to say is, couldn’t we maybe try for…more? Go out to dinner or something? Get to know each other?”
He’d been honest from the beginning. It was just sex for him. And he thought she felt the same way. When the hell had it turned into more for her?
He did not see that coming.
He gave a warning edge to his tone. “Sarah…”
“What? I tried to keep it just about sex, but I don’t think I’m made that way.”
He sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed and looked at her pretty face. She was gorgeous, no question. Her husband was a dumbass for cheating on her. She was amazing in bed and seemed very sweet. But she just wasn’t…ugh, he didn’t know. She just wasn’t what he wanted long term.
Sarah gasped. “You really aren’t interested in more, are you?”
Adam shook his head and made his voice as gentle as possible, but tough enough for her to understand. “I’ve been honest from the beginning, Sarah. I wish you’d have said something earlier, if you were starting to feel something more. I just…I’m not in a good place right now.”
Sarah tried to hide the hurt, but he could see it flicker across her face. “Oh, that’s okay. We can just leave it as-is.”
Again, Adam sighed. He certainly didn’t want to give up his nights with Sarah, but he wasn’t so much of an asshole that he’d continue to see her knowing she was developing feelings for him. He already knew he’d never feel that way in return.
Regret filled his voice. “I think it’s best if we just say goodbye.”
Sarah’s eyes widened. “What? No! I just…I wanted to see if you…I mean, it’s okay. Really.”
Adam shook his head. Sarah looked down, hiding her eyes from him.
He felt like a complete jerk.
“I’m sorry I hurt you. It was never my intent.”
“I’m…fine.”
Fine. That word. He wasn’t such an idiot that he didn’t know it meant she was anything but fine.
Adam stood back up and finished getting dressed. “Goodbye, Sarah.”
“Goodbye, Adam.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
Adam realized as he walked out of her apartment for the last time, that maybe it actually was time for him to grow up in this regard too.
Chapter Four
Jennifer
Home, sweet home
The first week in her new job was officially complete and Jennifer couldn’t help but smile. It was a relief that there hadn’t been any sexy doctors to distract her. Not that she’d seen so far, anyway.
Amber was at her parent’s house for the weekend, so Jennifer had a night to do whatever she wanted.
The following night she was going out with her friends, but tonight was a rare night on her own. As she lowered herself into a hot bath, a large glass of wine by her side and the music on low, she realized a relaxing evening on her own was exactly what she needed.
It was sheer perfection.
As she enjoyed the luxurious lilac-scented bubbles, Jennifer couldn’t help but think of Adam. So many times she was close to asking Mandi how he was. The bitter truth was, she missed him.
It had been years since she last saw him and even more years since they were a couple. It was pretty pathetic, when sat down and actually thought about it.
How she could miss him and still have feelings for him, she didn’t really know. He broke her heart. Although to be fair, she broke his first a long time ago.
She and Adam had such a long history. They were inseparable almost from the moment they met.
They were both very athletic and loved almost all Minnesota outdoor activities. He’d come to watch her softball games and she love to watch him play baseball. They’d go ice fishing and snow tubing in the winter and in the summer, they’d go to the beach or go watch the St. Paul Saints play baseball. Fishing on one of the many nearby lakes was like being in heaven. They’d spend hours fishing, swimming and soaking up the summer sun.
They dated for most of high school and all through college. Jennifer took her two-year degree in Minnesota, but then she ended up going to California for nursing school. It was tough on them both to be in a long-distance relationship, but they were determined to make it work.
With Adam being at the U of M and Jennifer in nursing school across the country, it grew more difficult to find time to see each other with their schedules and being broke college students. They talked as much as possible and texted often, but even that was at times hard to manage.
Adam graduated first and he was already working at a great company and rising up the ranks pretty fast. He was waiting for her to get back to Minnesota and he always joked they’d make a quick stop in Vegas and elope on their way back to moving her back home.
Sometimes she wished it really had happened that way.
Instead, she broke up with him.
Eight years ago…
“So, come on, Jenn. You still haven’t answered me. Are you packed yet?” Adam laughed and reached across the table to grab her hand, threading his fingers through hers. He had a bright smile and sparkling eyes as he looked at her. “When do I get to bring you home?”
Jennifer’s stomach dropped when she thought of ruining the mood.
They were sitting in a restaurant right inside the airport. They had very little time before Adam had to head through security. A few days prior, he flew in as a surprise to watch her graduation and was flying back home that evening.
The lasagna was a lead weight in her stomach. She was about to ruin everything and she’d dreaded this moment for a week. She started to tell him so many times over the last few days but never found the right time. Really, she was terrified of his reaction.
She knew she couldn’t put it off any longer.
She took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you about that.”
“Okay, shoot.” Adam grinned. “It’s good news, I hope!”
It’s good news to me.
“You know how I’ve been interning at the clinic over the last several months, right? I really liked working there,” Jennifer began, giving Adam’s hand a squeeze.
Adam nodded for her to continue.
“They, uh, they offered me a job.”
His eyes narrowed and her stomach dropped to the floor. “And?”
“I took the job.”
Adam’s smile faded and he stared at her in silence.
When she first accepted the position, she had never been so excited. She wanted to call Adam, but the second she thought of telling him, her excitement turned to dread.
It even made her second-guess her decision.
Was she doing the right thing, taking this job? What would it mean for her and Adam? Their relationship had suffered from distance and they both were looking forward to being together again. But she absolutely loved working at that clinic and often thought it would be her ideal first job as a nurse.
“You took it? A job in California?”
She nodded at him, not trusting her voice.
He opened
his mouth and then closed it again.
Several seconds of stunned silence were followed by his soft reply. “But you’re supposed to be coming home.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I applied for the job but didn’t really think I’d get it.”
Adam looked upset before, but the hurt that passed his features told her he was even more crushed. He was still holding her hand but his grip relaxed. She held on tighter.
Shit. Why did I tell him that?
“You applied for it?”
“Yeah, I mean, it’s going to take me time to get all the tests done in Minnesota to be able to be a nurse there, and I figured I’d just take the time to learn in an environment I’m used to for now while I prepare to do all that.”
“But, what about us?” His voice was shaky. “Are we supposed to just keep doing what we’ve been doing? Phone calls and texts and rarely getting to see each other?”
Jennifer tried to figure that out ever since she accepted the position. It wasn’t fair to ask him to hang on any longer, when they’d always agreed on her coming home right after graduation.
Now she was changing the plan.
“I don’t know. I mean, we’ve come this far, right?”
“I can’t believe you took the job without talking to me.”
“Since when do I need to clear things with you? You took your job without telling me. How’s this any different?”
She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth.
Of course it’s different.
“I…what?” Adam shook his head and his eyes widened. “You knew I was applying for the job and you were the first to know when I got the offer. We’ve always planned to live in Minnesota together and you’ve never once mentioned you even applied. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. I just, I really like working at this clinic and I love working for the doctor. It’s just a really good fit for me to start my career.”
“That doesn’t explain why you didn’t bother to tell me.”
“You’re right. I should have told you sooner. I just wasn’t sure how.”
“So, what now? We just keep going on this way? Rarely seeing each other?”
She looked down at the ring on her finger. The promise ring Adam gave her on one of his trips to visit her used to make her heart happy, but it had become a source of pressure and guilt.
Second Look (A New Beginning Book 3) Page 5