Agent Undone

by Cassidy Reyne

  Carter put his large, calloused hand over her much smaller one. He marveled at the softness of her skin, but could also feel the tremble that vibrated up through his fingers.

  “What about you? What do you do and how did you get injured?” Madison drew a deep breath and changed the subject. She looked at Carter’s hand covering hers and he gently withdrew it just as the waitress returned with their order.

  “I work for the government, the State Department actually, though we’re way low on the order of importance. I’m just a grunt at the bottom rung of the ladder.” Carter sipped his espresso while studying Maddie’s face. He never knew how many lies he’d have to tell of what he did for a living. He wasn’t allowed to divulge to anyone he worked for the DEA as that could stop him from being able to go undercover. With some people, it was enough to say he worked for the government and their eyes would glass over, but others, like Madison, needed a bit more of an explanation. He wasn’t sure even that would be enough for her. She had an inquisitive mind and was clearly very intelligent. Which is why he was a bit surprised when she just nodded and seemed to take his explanation at face value, and he didn’t know whether to be relieved or insulted. He decided to go with the former as that was by far the easier option.

  “So, how did you get hurt?”

  “Oh, it was an accident at work and my leg got a bit torn up. I had to have surgery and was given two months off, or until it’s fully healed, to recuperate. My buddy, Nathan, owns the beach house and offered it to me while my leg’s healing. I could have stayed home, but my family wouldn’t have left me alone, and it would have driven me crazy. I’m much better on my own. Your turn now. Which magazines do you work for? Or are you one of those secret bloggers people can’t stop talking about? The ones that make the government sit up and take notice?” He grinned at her to keep things light in case she didn’t want to reveal too much information about her work.

  She laughed. “No, I’m just one little writer amongst many. I’m lucky enough that they want to publish what I write, although that could change at any time. It’s the life of a freelancer, but it suits me for now. I work whenever I want to and can do it all from my laptop in my little beach cottage.”

  When Madison told him which magazines she was writing for he was amazed. They were three of the biggest monthly publications in the country, and his parents’ company held the PR accounts for two of them. She had to be extremely good to be working for them, not that that surprised him. Maybe he should check her stories out when he got a chance, he mused silently.

  Chapter Nine

  They sat on the terrace for almost two hours discussing everything from politics to music and the latest blockbusters. Carter told Maddie all about his family and how his parents doted on his two nieces. When he regaled her with tales of his and his brother’s escapades while growing up she laughed so hard, she had tears streaming down her face. Carter loved hearing her laugh and had a broad smile plastered all over his face because of it. He decided there and then he would try to make her laugh as often as possible as it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. It did funny things to his stomach. Things he didn’t want to think about, or even acknowledge were there.

  After they’d finished their cheesecake and drinks, they wandered through the little streets of the village and just soaked up the atmosphere. It was a beautiful afternoon and as it was Saturday there were a few more people around than during the week. With summer and tourist season around the corner, more shops had started opening up for the weekends. Having strolled up and down nearly every little lane, they eventually found themselves on the grassy dunes protecting the buildings from some of the sand that blew in from the beach.

  “What’s this place like when all the tourists descend on it?” Carter asked.

  “Noisy, colorful, busy. Like any tourist spot, I guess. It’s nice to have more people around and more of a buzz, but it feels so good when they all pack up and leave again and you get the place to yourself.”

  “I’ll have to come back for a long weekend or something in July and see just how bad it is. Would you brave the crowds and have ice cream with me if I did?”

  Another laugh bubbled up from her throat and Carter felt the familiar tightening in his jeans. How the hell did she do that with just a giggle?

  “Of course, and if there are too many people I’ll stock my freezer with ice pops and we can eat them sitting on my porch while watching the mayhem on the beach.” She grinned from ear to ear.

  He smiled back and tucked her hand under his arm as they strolled back towards the diner.

  Carter walked Madison to her convertible, not quite sure what else to say. He didn’t want their date to end, although he had no idea what to suggest to make it last longer. He was saved from the trouble when Madison turned to him with a strange look on her face.

  “I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner, but I won’t be able to run with you for the next few mornings.” She blurted out, biting her lip and looking everywhere except at his face.

  “Oh, ok. That’s not a problem. Do you mind if I ask why? It’s not me, is it? If you’d rather go running on your own just tell me. I promise you won’t hurt my feelings.”

  “No, it’s not you. It’s me. Or rather, my work. I’m driving up to Atlanta tomorrow morning for a couple of meetings with my editors on Monday. I won’t be back till Tuesday afternoon at the earliest.”

  “That’s a long drive, are you sure you’ll be all right?” Carter frowned as he studied her face.

  “Yes, I’ll be fine. I’ve done it many times by now. That’s why I’m leaving tomorrow so I can take my time and get a good night’s rest before the meetings. It usually takes five and half hours to drive straight, but I’ll stop somewhere on the way for something to eat and to relax.”

  “That’s sensible. I hope your meetings go well and you don’t hit too much traffic in either direction.”

  “So, I’ll see you maybe on Wednesday morning for a run?” Madison asked, sounding hesitant.

  “Yeah, sure. I’ll still be here. You stay safe on those roads, ok? I like having a running buddy.” He smiled softly at her before helping her in the car and watching her drive away. He felt strangely alone and abandoned.

  That evening, Carter felt restless and didn’t know what to do with himself. He wandered aimlessly around the house, not interested in either watching tv or reading his book. He could feel his irritation and frustration growing and decided to try his usual method for relieving tension, even though he couldn’t work out why he felt so stressed all of a sudden.

  He jumped in his car and drove the short distance back to the quaint seaside resort, but instead of going to the diner, he went to the bar and ordered a scotch on the rocks. While he waited for his drink, he looked around the little drinking place and was pleased to see a group of women laughing and dancing on the tiny dance floor. One of them looked over at him and caught his eye. She smiled and looked away, whispering something to her friend who immediately looked over and gave him a full body appraisal. They were both the kind of girl he liked and normally he’d be on his way over to charm at least one of them into bed later. The fact that his body didn’t even stir at the prospect was something he completely ignored. He’d never had a problem before, so he didn't anticipate one now.

  By the end of the night, the two girls were hanging off his arm, too drunk to be coherent and all he wanted was to go back to the beach house and go to bed — alone. His dick hadn’t even so much as twitched all evening, despite the fact that both girls had their ample cleavages in full view and both wore a mini — or was that a micro? — skirt that left very little to the imagination. As soon as they both went to the ladies’ room — together, something he’d never understood, he quickly paid his bill and slipped outside to his car. He‘d barely finished his scotch so was fine to drive back. Not that it mattered; he lived so close he could have left the car and walked back in fifteen minutes.

  Once back in the house,
he stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. The warm water helped to ease the knots and tension in his neck and shoulders, but it did nothing to quell the sense of boredom that nudged at his brain. After he’d turned the water off, he toweled dry, put on a pair of pajama pants and slipped into bed. It felt strangely big and empty.

  The next couple of days went agonizingly slowly for Carter. He tried to keep himself occupied but couldn't seem to concentrate on anything for any length of time, and by Monday evening he was feeling frustrated and irritable and decided to try his luck at the bar once more. He got as far as ordering one drink before realizing he’d made a mistake in going there. What the hell is wrong with me? The irritation was steadily building up in his chest. There were several girls in the bar, despite it being a Monday night, and normally he would have been chatting them up by now, hoping to have some fun. Except for the blowjob and the backseat quickie a couple of weeks ago, he hadn’t been with a woman for several months. Not the way he wanted to anyway, and he ought to have the biggest case of blue balls ever, but just as the previous night, there wasn’t even a stirring in his pants. He quickly downed his whisky and stalked out of the bar. Once out on the quiet street, he continued down to the beach and stood gazing across the dark waters, listening to the surf for several minutes. The cool evening breeze ruffled his hair, and when he finally felt a bit more centered he turned back. Instead of going back to the bar, however, he carried on walking until he reached the diner. There were only a few people sitting at the tables, and he could see the young girl from the other day clearing up behind the counter. After a few seconds of indecision, he grasped the door handle and walked inside the cozy space. He sat down in an empty booth and studied the menu, even though all he really wanted was some coffee. The waitress came over immediately to take his order, a shy smile on her face and a slight stutter to her voice as if she was overwhelmed by his presence. Shit, what was up with all the women in this town? Hadn't they ever seen a guy around during the off season? For Christ’s sake, tourists would be flooding the place soon so there would be plenty of single guys wanting to get some action hanging out at every available place 24/7. He ordered his cup of coffee and a sandwich as his stomach was growling. He hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. The girl smiled widely and nodded before returning to the kitchen to put his order in with the cook.

  Carter sat in the booth, lost in thought, until the waitress cleared her throat next to him to get his attention. He looked up at and noticed everyone else had gone and the diner was closing for the evening.

  “I’m sorry, we’re closing now so I have to ask you to leave.” She looked at him with large gray eyes and a small smile skittered across her lips.

  “That’s ok. I’m the one who should apologize for taking up so much of your time. I didn’t notice what time it was.” Carter smiled back at the young woman.

  “No problem. I’m all done now so I’m just going to lock up before I leave.”

  “You’re on your own?” he asked, concern for the safety of the girl in his tone.

  “Yes, I’m always the last one to leave when I do the late shift. At least, until the tourists arrive. It’s no big deal.” She shrugged.

  Carter studied her for a moment. The tag on her t-shirt said her name was Lydia and she looked to be around 22 years old. A bit younger than he’d normally go for. Somehow though, he had to get his head straight. His mantra of ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ echoed in his head.

  “Shouldn't your boyfriend come and pick you up to make sure you get home safely?”

  Lydia giggled, “I don’t have a boyfriend. There isn’t much to choose from around here, and I’ve been too busy lately anyway.”

  That was music to Carter’s ears and he decided there and then that she would be the one he’d break his dry spell with. The fact that his cock wasn’t showing any interest was completely ignored for the moment. That part of his body had never let him down before. Somewhere at the back of his mind, a small voice whispered not to be an ass, but he shut it down and ignored the uneasy feeling in his chest.

  “Then let me be your protector for a few minutes so you can get back home safely. Do you live far?”

  “It’s about a twenty minute walk out of the here towards town. You don’t have to protect me, though. This is a safe place, nothing ever happens around here. And how do I know I don’t need protection from you? I’ve only just met you.” Lydia looked at him with a frown creasing her forehead.

  “Smart girl. You don’t, I guess, but I promise I’ll be on my best behavior, if that’s what you want?”

  “Ok, I suppose it would be nice with some company on the way home, if you’re sure I can trust you?”

  Carter just nodded and thought to himself that it was she who had to be sure, not him. Not that it mattered as he would never force a woman to do anything she didn’t want to.

  “Let’s go then, my car is just up the road.” He held the door open for her and waited until she’d turned out all the lights and locked up. She took his offered arm as they walked towards his Jeep that was parked near the bar where he’d started off his evening.

  Half an hour later, Carter was on his way back to his place in an even worse mood than when he’d first left. Fuck, fuck, fuck! He shouted over the loud rock music blasting out of the car’s speakers. You’re a fucking idiot, a total moron! That was a golden opportunity for you to blow off some steam between the sheets for a few hours, and you just had to go and ruin it! The Jeep screeched to a halt in the driveway and he stomped up to the front door and flung it open. Inside, he flopped on the couch and buried his head in his hands. His mind was racing and his chest felt hot and tight from anger and self-loathing.

  Everything had been going so well with Lydia, despite the misgivings that had settled in his head. She lived on her own in a little duplex just outside of town and he’d parked in front of the house before turning the engine off and leaning back in the seat to look at her. She’d been chatting away the short drive there, but fell silent under his gaze. He could see her glancing up at him from under her lashes and her hands were clasped together in her lap. With a finger under her chin, he lifted her face so he could see her properly and then leaned in for a kiss. Her response was initially hesitant, though she quickly relaxed and tilted her head to allow him access. His tongue swept across her lips and a small moan escaped from her mouth. The sound of her desire brought him up short as his own lack of response hit him like a lightning bolt. Kissing this beautiful, young, and very willing woman should have made his cock rock hard in anticipation. Instead, there was absolutely nothing. Not a twitch, nor a swelling or a tightening — nothing. As soon as the realization speared through his brain, he gently pulled away and jumped out of the car to open the passenger door. Lydia had looked a bit confused as he gently murmured he was way too old for her and didn't want to start something he couldn't finish. He was only there for a few more weeks and didn’t want to hurt her. Her eyes had been large and her cheeks flushed. She’d nodded, her breath coming in short little puffs, before disappearing inside the house and closing the door behind her.

  Unable to sit still, Carter changed into a set of running clothes and headed out of the cottage. It was pitch black outside, but he knew the beach well enough to be able to go for a jog up towards the cape. He started off slow, but had soon increased his pace to a punishing speed. He could vaguely make out Madison’s house in the dark off to his right, and it felt as if it was mocking him with its emptiness. Not until he reached the end of the peninsula did he slow down and collapsed on his knees in the damp sand. His chest heaved and his breath came in ragged gasps. He stayed there in the dark, losing all concept of time, while his mind tried to wrap itself around everything that was swirling through it. Once his head seemed a little clearer, he pushed up onto his feet and turned back to the house at a much slower pace.

  After a quick shower, he collapsed into bed. Despite being exhausted, he tossed and turned for the rest of the night. Ju
st before dawn, he finally fell into a deep slumber and slept till late. By the time he woke up, it was nearly lunchtime and the sun was blazing its usual trail across the azure skies. Once he’d washed and dressed, he went out on the little terrace and stood by the railings with a cup of strong coffee in his hand. He looked out over the beach and ocean while his mind conjured up images of only one thing — Madison. Somehow, the tiny woman had wormed her way into his head and refused to leave, which was weird as she didn’t seem any more interested in a relationship than he was. Liar! The voice suddenly scolded him, which he promptly told to shut the fuck up. He was the only one who knew exactly what he wanted, or didn’t want in this case. No relationship, no girlfriend, no commitment, and definitely no settling down. There were too many beautiful women out there to bed for him to stick with just one for the rest of his life. He’d tried that with Mira and look what had happened. No, he was better off on his own, to fuck whoever he wanted when he wasn’t on a job, and maybe even then if his cover allowed. His thoughts bounced off the insides of his head like an echo in an empty room, and a gleeful cackle mocked his determined thoughts. Carter tried to shut down that irritating voice in his head and stalked back inside to boot up his laptop. Work was about the only thing that could distract him now.

  Chapter Ten

  Madison set out on her monthly trip to Atlanta early on Sunday morning to beat any traffic. It was just over 300 miles and she could do it in a little over five hours if she drove straight. Normally, she’d stop about half-way to have a rest and something to eat before reaching the city around lunchtime. She had already booked herself into a hotel — she used a different one each time — and had a meeting with one of the editors that afternoon. The other two early the following day. She would visit one of the free clinics in the area to get her birth control prescription filled and a regular checkup done. She still wasn’t brave enough to register with a doctor in Florida so the free clinics were her salvation. She knew her ID papers would hold up as they’d been done by a former FBI agent but she wasn’t going to take any more risks than necessary.