Redemption

by Brent, Amy

  “Dada,” he yelled while he was bent down, leaning in his box and rummaging for his soldier's enemies who happened to be a bear and a duck. He sat them on the floor against the couch. “When will Lin-see come over again?”

  I rested the palms of my hands on the counter and looked at him. I didn’t want to lie, but at the moment, I wasn’t sure what the truth was. I sighed and walked into the living room to speak to him closer and have a “man to man.” I sat in the armchair and clenched my fingers around the mug of coffee. I leaned back, and the cold of the leather flooded through my spine. I glanced over to the navy tablecloth and sighed.

  “I’m not sure Jacob.” That was the extent of my reply. Any more would’ve been a lie, and any less would result in a shrug of my shoulders.

  When are you coming back to us?

  Jacob sat by his toy box and half-heartedly fiddled with his soldier. I saw he was down, which was to be expected. Now Jacob was being affected with Lindsey’s non-presence too, and my reluctance to jump in the deep end and clear the mess up was dragging things out. I needed to do something.

  But what?

  I already saw that Jacob was profoundly attached to Lindsey; he’d taken her under his wing and befriended her like I’d never seen him do with anyone else before, except Mom. All of his reserve and shyness vanished when he saw her. It was as if he’d gotten a new playmate, although, she was a good many years older than his usual kindy friends.

  Lindsey had taken to Jacob in the same way. My heart sank while I sat clutching my coffee mug which was now cold. I stood and ambled back around the kitchen counter.

  Jacob lifted his head. His face was screwed up like it always went when he was serious about something. “Phone her,” he said.

  I could, but I wanted to give her the time to come around. This was more than six years in the making, and I felt the end was somewhere near. How it was going to pan out, I wasn’t sure, and I prayed to God it wasn’t going to be heartbreak. If shit happened, I wasn’t sure how Jacob would cope, and I was probably going to be an empty shell of myself again, for another few years. There was one thing I’d never said to Lindsey, and it was the reason my marriage had failed.

  There was no replacement for Lindsey. It was her or no one. That was my problem. If I could manage to get over her, then so could Jacob, but I never had gotten over her.

  The day passed by in a fog, and I did as many things as I could to divert my mind from Lindsey. Washing the Jeep was fun, and Jacob helped by attempting to scrub the wheels, getting them clean. But he failed miserably, as I expected he would because he was so young. But at least he gave it his best shot.

  He took a bath which was fun, and we had a foam fight, and being a good dad, I let him win like I always did.

  “Are there any movies on?” I asked.

  “In a while, Dada.” He began putting his toys away, and I needed to think of what to do for dinner. I checked the cupboards and inside the refrigerator, and it seemed we were clean out of food.

  Why the hell didn’t you go for groceries?

  I was halfway back to the living room when the doorbell rang. Its sound filled the quiet room. I wasn’t expecting anyone and could only presume that Mom had come back, for some reason. Jacob ran across the living room floor and was inquisitive to know who it was; just as much as I was.

  The door opened, and I spotted the large cartons as the smell wafted through the door.

  Pizza?

  “Are you going to let me in or what?” Lindsey asked.

  I pulled the door wide open and took the boxes from her arms. We made our way to the counter, and Jacob’s whole demeanor changed.

  “Yeah, way to go, girl,” he yelped out with pleasure.

  “I thought you guys might be hungry,” she said, placing a carrier bag filled with side orders onto the table. “I got three cheese and Hawaiian.”

  I was so pleased to see her, and not because I had a rumbling in my stomach and there was nothing to cook, but, I was very excited to see her. I opened the boxes and cut two small slices for Jacob. He sat on the couch, ready, and flicked the remote.

  “TV dinner,” he quipped.

  We turned to each other and giggled. Jacob possessed a good grasp of sayings which were well beyond his years. It was fun to watch when it happened, and he always managed to lighten the mood when he said them. I waited while Lindsey grabbed the plates, and my eyes were fixed on her while she bent over.

  Why the hell did I wait six years before saying something?

  Lindsey stood and turned and saw that my eyes were fixed on her. I more than likely showed a huge grin on my face, but her voice distracted me from noticing.

  “What are you looking at?” she asked. Her eyes glinted because she knew I was watching the shape of her ass.

  “Sorry, it’s—well, I wasn’t expecting anyone,” I replied, now taking the plates from her and dishing up my pizza.

  “It’s lucky for you that I came. I see you have nothing for dinner, and I need to tell you something,” Lindsey said. She pulled a chair up and sat while she tugged at a pizza slice. The cheese was still gooey and stretching thinner than panty elastic when she tried to lift it to her plate. “I’ve been doing some thinking.”

  “You and me both.”

  “Honestly, it’s been hard for me. I admit it; the first time with Jacob and your mom, well, I freaked, big-time.” Lindsey held her hands at the sides of her head to emphasize her words. “But—” She took a bite of pizza, and her eyes rolled with total satisfaction when she started to chew.

  It’s no wonder pizza’s such a crowd pleaser. Every bite has those immense qualities of satisfaction.

  I bit into mine and hot cheese stuck to the roof of my mouth. I rushed to the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of iced tea and two glasses. I sipped and ran my tongue against the roof of my mouth where it was burned. It felt funny with the furry feeling you always got.

  I took another bite, this one I was more cautious with.

  “I realized I’ve never told you this,” she commented. I looked back while I chewed. “I love you. I love both of you!”

  “Uh-huh!” I said, beaming a wide grin.

  “Is that it?” she asked.

  I pointed to my mouth; there was no way I could reply without spitting pizza crust everywhere. It was good manners, and the pizza was too damned tasty to waste, and it tasted all the better when I heard Lindsey say that she loved me.

  I swallowed and smiled. “I did notice you’d never said you loved me, but I’m so glad you mentioned it because I was in a daze all day wondering. Isn’t that weird?”

  “You don’t need to wonder anymore,” she said. “I was wrapped up with concern that I wouldn’t be a good mom, and I tried to come up with every excuse to support the fact.”

  Lindsey turned to watch Jacob while he sat munching away at his pizza, and the crusts he lined neatly around the edge of his plate. He never could chew the crust, but like any good dad, I helped him clear his plate. I loved the crust.

  “And what was the end result of all this thought? I mean, it can’t end with I love you both,” I asked.

  Lindsey shook her head and sipped on her iced tea. It was a secret recipe of my great grandmother’s, and one which was passed down from generation to generation. It was a load of hocus pocus though; I’d seen the exact same recipe on the internet a hundred times. My grandmother must have told everyone the recipe.

  “I want to get closer to the both of you. I feel I’m ready to make a leap of faith.”

  I smiled and took hold of her hand. Lindsey couldn’t have timed it better to tell me this. I’d waited for years to hear that, and it was all the more gratifying now that she told me she hadn’t cheated on me. It was a lousy mix-up on someone else’s behalf. Jealousy from Chad, at the time.

  “I want to get closer to the two of you. I need to get closer to the two of you for my own sanity.”

  Lindsey giggled and rubbed her fingers against mine. There was no going b
ack from this; not now. All the cards were being laid on the table, and both of us had nowhere to hide our feelings. This was the crossroads we should’ve faced years ago, and in a way, this might be the blessing we were both looking for. Heartbreak could make us stronger, and unity could overcome the strangest chain of events. The good news was that we’d “re-found” each other, and this time another person was tagging along for the ride.

  “Movie’s gonna start,” Jacob yelled, holding his plate into the air to show he wanted some more fries.

  Lindsey stood and carried over the small paper bag and a packet of ketchup. I watched while she filled Jacob’s plate. Jacob’s eyes peered at me around Lindsey’s arm, and he had a huge gorgeous grin on his face. I knew he felt the same, like me, and he was happy, and not only for the extra fries.

  Lindsey ambled back toward the table. I stood and met her halfway. “Ever since we had our major discussion, I feel like a huge weight’s been lifted,” Lindsey remarked.

  “I know what you mean. My heart felt free from all the clutter which built up over the years. I feel like I’m rejuvenated, a new man, and a man who has a purpose.”

  “You’ve had a purpose even without me in your life, and he’s sitting right there, munching away at his fries.”

  Jacob picked his fries up one by one and dipped the ends into the ketchup.

  I turned back to Lindsey. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. She looked up into my eyes, and I saw it. I saw the path forward, and there was no doubt this time.

  I leaned toward her and placed my lips on hers. “Dada!” Jacob giggled wildly. “Lovers, kissing lovers!” he teased. We all laughed loudly.

  Lindsey

  I looked down at Jacob and smiled to myself. His head was resting on my lap and his eyes drooped. He was almost asleep, and he’d tried his hardest to stay awake until nine. I tapped Ben, and he saw Jacob was well out of it, and he should take him up to bed.

  “I’ll help you,” I said.

  Ben grabbed hold of Jacob and pulled him against his chest and carried him up the stairs. I followed and walked behind him when he entered Jacob’s bedroom. Ben helped Jacob into his spotted dog pajamas. The wallpaper was “Toy Story,” and the little, green soldier border ran the full length of each wall. Jacob appeared to have woken a little while he clambered under his bed covers.

  He looked at me with wide eyes. “Do you want to read a story?” he asked. I nodded and looked at Ben to signal it was okay. He smiled.

  “Which book shall I read?” I asked. Jacob pointed to the large blue one.

  I picked it up and sat on the edge of the bed. The story was all about a cat in a hat. Jacob giggled at the tale of the cat. I’d never heard the story before.

  A strange feeling washed over me when I read. I felt complete, and the sensation was nothing but natural. It was as if I was supposed to be reading a book to this little boy, and it was what was missing from my life.

  Have I saved Ben and Jacob, or have they saved me? I wonder.

  Jacob’s eyes finally closed. His blanket was pulled up to his chin and only his head and his little soldier faced toward the ceiling. The toy soldier’s eyes were wide open like he was on guard and watching every move. I closed the book and placed it back in the slot on the shelf.

  “Bravo,” Ben remarked after we made our way back down the stairs and sat on the couch together.

  “That’s so fun,” I replied, with a happy look on my face.

  “You’d better get used to it. I feel you’ll have a lot more nights like this,” Ben said, lowering the volume on the TV. I slapped him and wrinkled my nose at him. I leaned closer and rested my head against his broad chest. I began to feel warm and content, and finally at home with my position.

  “Say it again,” I said.

  Ben teased my hair between his fingers. His head tilted down while I peered up. “I love you!”

  I was right. I didn’t think I could ever tire of hearing him say that to me. We chatted about our love for one another and then noticed the late movie had finished. I sat up and swung my legs to the floor.

  “Are you going?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m staying.”

  Ben’s eyes widened with joy, and I smiled at him, wildly so.

  We stood from the couch, and Ben turned off the TV. He led me to the stairs and this time I climbed them like a partner. Ben pushed the door open to his bedroom. I looked over at Jacob’s picture which sat underneath the table lamp. The bed was as crisp and smooth as it always was, and I wanted Ben so badly.

  I closed the door and quickly began popping the buttons on my top. Ben noticed my eagerness and lifted his shirt over his head and threw it to the chair. I shimmied from my pants and then yanked at the buckle on Ben’s belt. Ben kicked his legs free from his pants and quickly pulled his shorts to the floor.

  I stepped closer to Ben’s naked body and reached for the clasp of my bra. It popped open, and the straps fell off my shoulders. Ben reached for my breasts, and I felt his fingers rubbing my throbbing peaks. I sucked in a breath of anticipation and slipped my hands inside the waist of my panties.

  My head fell against the stretched skin of his broad chest, and my teeth sank into him as I tried to bite into his skin. His finger curled inside me and buckled my legs. Ben held my weight, and I wriggled my hips and pushed my body harder against his hand. The faint sound of his palm slapping against my pussy and my moans of excitement filled the bedroom. I panted like a rabid dog and wanted more of him. Ben slipped a second finger in me and thrust his hand further, deeper against my trembling body.

  I cooed while he guided me back to the bed. His hand pulled free, and I laid back and rolled onto my front. I clawed at the crisp cotton sheet and pushed my ass back from the edge of the bed. Ben edged closer, and I felt the hardness of his cock sliding past the lips of my pussy. My muffled squeals fell against the bed when Ben’s hard cock filled me with his first powerful thrust. The erect tips of my breasts rubbed against the cold bedsheet while my body rocked back and forth.

  Ben dug his fingers into my hips and pulled me back, hard against his thrusting cock. He drove harder and increased his tempo. I shuddered. He was doing it again and hitting the spot which made me want to come like he always had, every single time.

  “Ben!” I whispered in excitement. My voice was full of pleasure.

  He plunged deeper inside me, and my body exploded into a thousand pieces of satisfaction, and my body giving way to a fiery cataclysmic response. I cried out when bursts of ecstasy flooded through me. The bedsheet ruffled and pulled from the bed. My hips juddered, and I cried out softly with immense pleasure while a convulsive release rocketed through me.

  I slumped on the bed and panted wildly. My chest rose and fell when I rolled onto my back. I peered up once Ben vanished into the bathroom.

  Finished already?

  I heard the faucet and the water crashing to the shower floor. He emerged from the door and enticed me to join him. I stood, and my jellied legs firmed now that I walked toward his bathroom. I peered at him through ruffled strands of hair which hung over my face. My hips wiggled like I was strutting down the catwalk.

  Steam started to pour from the bathroom door when I entered. Ben took my hand, and I stepped into the shower. Streams of water bounced off my head and flattened my hair. Ben pushed me back to the wall of the shower and leaned his weight against me. His hard cock rubbed against me while he locked his lips on mine. His hips pushed perfectly while we twirled our tongues together in a long passionate kiss.

  I ran my hands over his muscled biceps and reached down to stroke the full length of his shaft. I guided him toward my pussy and felt the throbbing head of his manhood slip inside. I pushed my head back against the shower wall and let the water stream over my face. Ben hoisted me up in his muscular arms and forced his cock deeper inside. His hands pulled on my hips while I wrapped my legs around his waist. I locked my ankles and pulled him deep inside me. His powerful thrusts
forced my back up, hard against the warm glass. My back arched, and my breasts jutted forward; my rigid nipples were rubbing lustfully against the bare skin of Ben’s chest.

  My arms linked around the back of Ben’s neck and my fingers fell onto his broad shoulders. We stared into each other’s eyes while Ben grunted with each thrust of his hips. Like a lithe and powerful beast, he increased his tempo. Water dripped from our faces when we locked our lips together. I tasted his hot steaming breath while he pressed hard into my sweetness, and our bodies slid together with ease. The full length of his blistering erection slid into my warmth, and my body reacted and clenched, now drawing him closer to his orgasmic arrival.

  Ben heaved his body against mine while I arched upward, and my peaks rose to meet his wanting mouth. I grabbed my breast and guided my nipple to his pursed lips. His tongue began flicking like a hummingbird’s wings and sending showers of sensations too, falling inside me, right into my core. I groaned and sucked in wet air from the steam-filled shower, my lungs worked breathlessly, and in a pleasure that overtook my deepest desires. I tugged on Ben’s short hair. His head fell back, and I watched his heaving breaths rise against the water flow. His green eyes peered at me, and he opened his mouth. Water dripped from his top lip while he continued to drive his huge dick deep and hard inside me.

  I felt my body shuddering once my pussy stretched and pulled against Ben’s forceful thrusting shaft. I squealed, and my legs quivered around his muscled body. My hips gyrated and pushed against him when I felt my second wave was close.

  “I’m gonna—” Ben yelped from his tilted back head.

  He thrust harder and faster while my body rose and fell onto his hot member. My pussy clenched on him as rapturous undulations of passion filled me. My dizzying, explosive climax hit me from all directions.

  Ben heaved and cried out in blissful agony, and his hips locked. He thrust harder for his last few times and his hot seed exploded, filling me. He pushed again and again, and the stream of his seed flowed and filled my fiery depths. I came with a soul-shattering intensity. It was much more meaningful than ever before, and I’d gladly settle for this every damn day of the week.