Over Her Head

by Shelley Bates

  “I said she ran under the bridge. I didn’t say anything about her standing in the water.”

  “Good. Because without another witness, it’s your word against hers. And I know whose word I want to believe.”

  “Laurie, you’re sounding a little combative. I’m not sure I like you using that tone with my son.” Janice’s voice was very quiet.

  Laurie felt as though her breath was backing up in her lungs, as though she couldn’t breathe deeply enough to get more oxygen. Was this what a panic attack felt like?

  “I feel combative,” she said. Breathe in. Out. Calm down. “I feel angry and scared, and I don’t know who to believe.”

  “You can believe Kyle.”

  “No, I can’t.”

  “I’m telling you how it was, Mrs. Hale.”

  “Are you?” Laurie looked him in the eye. “Or are you just saying whatever will take the pressure off you? You’re the mayor’s son, right? Whatever you do reflects on your dad, so it’s natural you’d want to protect him. Even at someone else’s expense.”

  “Laurie, I think you’ve said enough.” Janice’s voice had lost its calmness and taken on an edge. “Kyle, please go do your homework.”

  “No kidding,” Kyle said under his breath and left, keeping to the far side of the room as though he expected Laurie to lunge at him if he got too close.

  Janice’s face was white as she stood, gripping the back of the chair. “That was uncalled for. I think you owe Kyle and me an apology.”

  Fear kept Laurie’s spine straight. “Maybe. But I’m going to wait on that until I find out who’s telling the truth.”

  “In which case, I think you should leave now.”

  “Fine.” Laurie grabbed her handbag and walked to the front door, where Janice handed her her coat. But when Laurie tried to take it, she hung on.

  “I’m sorry you feel you can’t believe my son, Laurie. But you have to believe me when I say I’m having a difficult time with this, too. The word of one kid against another.” She released the coat, and Laurie shrugged it on without a reply. “I don’t want it standing between us at Bible study.”

  Laurie opened the door and looked over her shoulder at the woman she’d almost begun to like. “That would be up to you,” she said and closed the door behind her.

  Less than a mile down the road, Laurie pulled the van over to the grassy shoulder and bent over, her forehead against the top of the wheel. She gripped it with both hands as though it were a life preserver while a wave of fear and pain and uncertainty washed through her body.

  She’d told herself she couldn’t, and yet she’d gone and alienated Janice anyway. But how could she have said anything else? Her only priority was Anna. It just didn’t seem possible that nobody knew who had pushed Randi over. And when you’d dispensed with the impossible, all that was left was the improbable . . . or the not so improbable, which was that someone was lying.

  The evidence pointed both ways. Maybe she’d been unjust to Kyle. But she was already feeling so guilty and frightened about Anna that she had no emotion left over for him.

  When her cell phone twittered, it took two rings just to gulp the pain out of her throat, and another to see that it was Nick.

  Maybe he had something concrete to tell her. “Hi.” The word came out in a raspy whisper, and she tried again. “Hi, Nick.”

  “You don’t sound so good.”

  “I’m not feeling so good.” She didn’t explain. “What’s up?”

  “Not much. Gil just called. It’s my day off, so he’s been grilling teenagers all day.”

  Hope expanded in her chest, and she found she could take a breath. “And?”

  “I can’t tell you the details, but suffice to say that we’re back at square one.”

  She slumped in the driver’s seat. “Nobody knows who pushed Randi over? Nick, that’s impossible. All those girls on that bridge have to know.”

  “You know it and I know it, but getting someone to say it is a whole different ball of worms.”

  “Wax.”

  “I dunno. It feels pretty wormy to me. Everybody wriggling out of the way as fast as they can. Everybody telling a different story, pointing fingers here and there. Nobody’s story matches up where it should. I swear, if there’s a collective unconscious, maybe there’s a collective amnesia, too.”

  She didn’t want to hear about the fingers pointing at one another. “Or a collective lie.”

  “We’re going to have to bring a couple of them down to the station and lean on them. Maybe that will shake a fact or two loose. But that’s not why I called.”

  “It’s not?” Laurie couldn’t imagine any other reason for Nick to be talking with her right now. “What’s going on?”

  “I was calling about Thanksgiving.”

  She hadn’t given a single thought to it, and it was six days away. “Nick, please don’t tell me they’ve scheduled you to work on Thursday. I was really counting on all of us being a family. Anna needs to see you as her cousin again, not as a cop.”

  “No, no, it’s not that. I have enough seniority now so that the rookies have to work major holidays. Gil and I are working this in tandem so neither of us gets too burned out.”

  She exhaled. “That’s good. You’ve missed enough Christmases and Fourth of July weekends.”

  “I was wondering if I could bring a guest.”

  A guest? A woman? At any other time she would have been keenly interested, but now it just seemed as though a guest who wasn’t family, who couldn’t understand their troubles, was an intrusion she couldn’t face.

  But neither could she turn this person away. Hospitality was a gift extended from one Christian to another—or in this case, from one Christian to whoever came to the door. “Of course you can. We’re putting another leaf in the table anyway. Mind me asking who it is?”

  “Tanya.”

  Tanya? She only knew one Tanya. And it couldn’t be that one. “Who?”

  “Tanya Peizer. You know.”

  Laurie’s jaw hung open for a second. “You’re seeing . . . Tanya? Is that . . . legal?”

  “Well, she’s not my cousin or anything. And I’m not exactly ‘seeing’ her.”

  Oh, my, if he was getting defensive, then there were emotions involved. And if there were emotions involved, which hadn’t happened in years with this guy, then maybe he was getting serious.

  But . . . Tanya?

  “No, of course not. I only meant—with the case and everything. Isn’t it like fraternizing with a witness?”

  “If I were dating one of the ninth graders, Laurie, that would be fraternizing with a witness. Tanya is the victim’s mother. And yeah, maybe it isn’t a hundred percent ethical, but at this point I’m not too concerned. It just doesn’t sit right to leave her alone in her apartment when it’s in our power to do something.”

  “I know, I know.” Laurie tried to make her tone soothing and welcoming and happy for him, even though she was so surprised she hardly knew what she felt. “Of course she can come. She’s in my Bible study group, you know. I—I was just surprised. That she could get the day off, you know.”

  “Isn’t Susquanny Home Supply closed that day?”

  “Well, yes. But she works more than one job.”

  “The school’s closed, too, so they won’t need the shuttle drivers.”

  He knew what jobs she worked, and on what days. That meant this wasn’t just a pity invite. It meant they’d actually talked.

  And what’s it to you, anyway? You’ve been as bad as his sisters-in-law about wanting to get him married off.

  Yes, but not now. And not to—

  She stopped herself before the thought even formed. She had nothing against Tanya. Nick was right. The poor woman deserved sympathy and comfort and everything a Christian sister could give her. And that included Thanksgiving dinner. Hadn’t she thought just a few days ago that Tanya’s dinner would probably be a turkey burger and not much else? If the Hales and Tremores could make eve
n one moment of her first holiday without Randi easier, then their work would have been done.

  “I’m looking forward to seeing both of you, then,” she said. “We’ll probably eat around two o’clock. Come early.”

  “Thanks, Lor.” The defensiveness was gone, and if he was back to using her childhood nickname, then all was well. “I know she’ll appreciate the welcome. And so do I.”

  When he hung up, she could tell he was smiling. After a second, she closed the phone and dropped it into her purse. She started the van and pulled out onto the highway.

  Nick was a big boy. He wasn’t the type to be taken in by a needy woman, or a good-looking one, or one who was looking for a daddy to take care of her. Nick was smart and well-balanced, and it was absolutely none of her business who he invited to dinner on a holiday that was meant for family.

  Her business was to make sure Tanya had a plateful of food and as much sisterly support as she could manage.

  Under the circumstances.

  When she pulled the van into the garage, she saw Colin through the window, busy wrestling the trellis off the wall. She called up to Anna and Tim, and when they both answered, she told them, “Homemade pizza for supper. Half an hour.” From behind his door, Tim cheered. Behind Anna’s door there was nothing but silence.

  Laurie went down the stairs and pulled out frozen pizza crust and tomato sauce and cheese. Then she saw the light blinking on the answering machine.

  “You have one new voice message,” the digital voice told her.

  “Laurie, this is Janice. Look, I’m really upset about the way we left things this afternoon. Can you call me, please?”

  Click. Beep.

  Your son can endanger my daughter.

  Vanessa’s story about seeing Anna running through the dark could be discounted. At that time of night she could have made a mistake. But Kyle’s story could be dangerous. If it came to light that Randi had surfaced . . . or that she was alive when she did . . . and Anna was there . . . Laurie shuddered. Innocent people went to prison all the time. A net of circumstances closed around them, and there wasn’t a single thing their frantic family could do about it.

  Whether Janice could have been a friend or not, Laurie had to distance herself from Janice, and Anna from Kyle. She had no choice.

  She reached over and pressed the Delete button. The machine blinked and the digital recording came on.

  “Your mailbox is empty.”

  Chapter Twelve

  To: Manga15

  From: JohnnysGrrl

  5-0 is all confused. No one to arrest.

  Keep it tight girlfriend and maybe u wont be the next one.

  Hows little bro anyway? He been on any bridges lately?

  To: JohnnysGrrl

  From: Manga15

  Leave me and him alone. Im not saying anything.

  I hope u die.

  To: Manga15

  From: JohnnysGrrl

  We all die stupid. Some of us go sooner than others thats all.

  Way sooner.

  On Sunday, Laurie got her family organized and out the door only ten minutes late. It took all of that extra ten minutes to convince Anna that “total lockdown” did not include church. In fact, her whole attitude toward being grounded was a little off. Instead of complaints and tears and drama in order to wring just one night out or one concession out of Laurie and Colin, she seemed almost happy to stay in her room. She didn’t even complain about not being allowed to watch TV, and if nothing else, that was strange.

  But at least Laurie knew where she was every minute. If her cub was safely in the den, then she was in no danger of prowling animals out there in the dark.

  Or at least gossiping classmates.

  Meanwhile, over the issue of church, Laurie won a Pyrrhic victory. Anna came with them, but she pulled on her sloppiest pants and shirt and ran a brush the absolute minimal number of times through her hair.

  At one end of their pew, Rose Silverstein and her mother were already seated. As the Hales, led by Colin, filed in, Mrs. Silverstein and Rose got up and moved a couple of rows back. Laurie ignored them and tried to concentrate on the beauty of the hymns, but even as she lifted her hands in praise, her thoughts whirled like a dust storm on the prairie.

  She needed to talk to Colin again about getting Anna into counseling. It just was not normal that a girl who ordinarily took an hour in the bathroom to get her hair and makeup perfect would be seen in public like this—especially if there was a chance that Kyle Edgar would be here, too.

  Laurie looked around. There he was, sitting with his mother and the O’Days. She wondered if Janice had done that on purpose, in order to talk to Nancy after the service about the women’s shelter project.

  Janice looked up, but Laurie didn’t meet her gaze. Instead, she glanced behind her. Tanya was at the back, alone except for Cammie and Debbie with her family. No Nick. Laurie didn’t know whether to feel relieved about that or not.

  Of course she’d be delighted and praise God without ceasing if Nick became a believer. His family had been encouraging him for years, but maybe it would take someone outside the family to wake him up. She just wasn’t quite prepared for it to be Tanya. Because what did she have to keep her in Glendale? Two jobs of a kind that she could pick up anywhere? If Tanya thought she could make Nick fall for her and then up and leave him when the next big idea hit, she had another think coming. Nick was an honorable guy. Any woman should be proud to be his choice. And he didn’t deserve to have his heart broken by a woman who didn’t plan to stick around for the long term.

  As the hymns ended and they sat for the opening prayer, Laurie reflected that she was doing it again: overdramatizing. Here she had the whole relationship mapped out, right to the big breakup when, to her knowledge, Nick had become acquainted with poor Tanya only long enough to invite her to a family supper so she didn’t have to spend the holiday alone.

  No big deal. Probably nothing would come of it, especially if he was concerned about the ethics of seeing her. Laurie had bigger fish to fry, like what was going to become of Anna if the case didn’t break soon.

  Counseling was the first step. Which meant another talk with Colin.

  Cale Dayton’s sermon was on the subject of being busy with the right things—so appropriate for her frame of mind this morning. She really needed to stop the dust storm in her head and concentrate on the message God had for her heart. So she tried, and by the end of the sermon had managed to find a little peace and maybe even some direction for the coming week. Cale would know a good Christian counselor. Anna could go to the one at school, but that person might not see things from a Christian point of view. They were literally talking life and death here, and Anna, once persuaded to talk, was likely to open up along those lines.

  After the final hymn, everyone was so busy chatting with one another that it was difficult to get a word in edgewise. With Thanksgiving falling on their usual Thursday, she needed to find Maggie and ask if it would be okay to have Bible study on Tuesday that week instead.

  “Cammie, have you seen Maggie?” she finally asked when she’d migrated with the crowd to the back of the church and still not managed to locate her. “I’m hoping she can reschedule Bible study to Tuesday.”

  Cammie turned from whatever she had been saying to Debbie and Tanya, and Laurie smiled at them both. Their smiles were quick and preoccupied, and Debbie took Tanya’s arm to hustle her out the door. Probably a good thing, since it was obvious large crowds disturbed her. How did Tanya manage to drive a university shuttle, with all its distractions?

  “I think I saw her heading out to her car with the kids,” Cammie said. “She’s probably gone by now. Try calling a bit later.”

  “What do you think? Tuesday sound all right?”

  “Wednesday’s better for me. Debbie, too.”

  “But I have to work Wednesday. Wait, what about Friday? I have that off.”

  “We have family coming for the long weekend.”

  “It�
�ll have to be Tuesday, then, if Maggie is free. Can you rearrange things?”

  “Laurie, I know you’re our study leader, and of course we always take your workdays into consideration, but really, this week Wednesday would be better for Debbie and me.”

  Laurie blinked at her. “Okay. I guess.”

  “Don’t look like that. It’s not personal. Well, maybe it is, a little.”

  “What do you mean?” How could changing their study day be personal? What was she missing?

  Cammie pulled her aside into the anteroom where the extra chairs were stored. “We kind of hoped we wouldn’t have to have this conversation—”

  “We?”

  “But don’t you think we should be putting Tanya first, under the circumstances?”

  Had she not had enough sleep last night? Why couldn’t she follow whatever Cammie was trying to say? “What circumstances?”

  Cammie hunched a little under her winter coat. “You know. With Anna being under suspicion and everything.”

  Laurie stared at her. She’d known Cammie Petersen since third grade and would have banked money on her friendship. Through the years they’d spent in Bible study together, they had come to know each other’s struggles, strengths, and weaknesses as women and as parents. She never would have expected words like this out of Cammie’s mouth.

  “Anna is not under suspicion.”

  “Well, maybe not officially. But don’t you see how awkward it would be? It’s Tanya’s first week back in study group since Randi’s funeral. How do you think she’s going to feel if the mother of someone who was there that night on the bridge is the one leading the study?”

  Laurie’s lips felt cold. Stiff. “I hope she would feel loved and included.”

  Cammie shook her head. “Be realistic, Laurie. It’s going to hurt her. You know it is. Everything hurts her right now. It’s just for a little while, until the police find out who really did it.”

  “That could take weeks.”

  “If it does, it does. But in the meantime, we have to do what we can for her, don’t we? Look, why don’t I check with Tanya, and you call Janice and Mary Lou. I’ll fit in with whatever the majority decides, but Debbie and I really feel strongly about this.”